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   Thanksgiving for the supremely lazy: Reviewing the $80 box of frozen, pre-cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 10 (minus pie) from Costco

19 Nov 2012 11:48 AM   |   19351 clicks   |   Houston Press
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Summer Glau's Love Slave     
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/Ramen Noodles Turkey flavor?
//I'm in.

19 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
Grapple     
Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"

19 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
Shiat. What a bunch of lazy-asses. And to think I have to go to all the trouble of pre-ordering my turkey and prime rib dinners at Fresh and Easy a week early, then the day before Thanksgiving have to go pick the dinners up and store all that food in my refrigerator, then heat it up on Turkey day.

Lazy bastards.

19 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
Churchy LaFemme     
Yummeh!

19 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
Bit'O'Gristle     
I generally just eat the girlfriend for thanksgiving. Then she eats me...well..so to speak.

19 Nov 2012 11:53 AM
farm machine     

Bit'O'Gristle: I generally just eat the girlfriend for thanksgiving. Then she eats me...well..so to speak.


Do the leftovers make a good sammich?

19 Nov 2012 11:55 AM
Marine1     

Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"


Once a year. Not that hard. Not even like you had to harvest the vegetables or hunt for the turkey, either.

19 Nov 2012 11:55 AM
Egoy3k     
There are only two of us in my household my thanksgiving dinner this year was a nice chicken curry over rice and some naan bread. Last year it was prime rib steaks.

19 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
BarkingUnicorn     
Whoever thought this kit would sell must have grown up in a homeless shelter.

19 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
12349876     
Laziest Thanksgiving: Golden Corral.

19 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
sulco     

Bit'O'Gristle: I generally just eat the girlfriend for thanksgiving. Then she eats me...well..so to speak.


Dear Pilgrim Monthly,

I never thought it would happen to me, but my...

19 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
PsyLord     
I was hoping to get by with a few of these:

cache.gawkerassets.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 11:58 AM
Summer Glau's Love Slave     

farm machine: Bit'O'Gristle: I generally just eat the girlfriend for thanksgiving. Then she eats me...well..so to speak.

Do the leftovers make a good sammich?


img265.imageshack.usView Full Size

And do you know who else loves a good sammich?

/Turkey and Swiss on Pumpernickel is proof that Gahd loves us.

19 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
UtileDysfunktion     

Egoy3k: There are only two of us in my household my thanksgiving dinner this year was...


That frozen "dinner for 10" will probably be split between two people, too.

/or maybe just one

19 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     

PsyLord: I was hoping to get by with a few of these:

[cache.gawkerassets.com image 504x378]


GAH..i would rather gargle fishooks or dive face first into used kitty litter than even open that can of botulism.

/shudders

19 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Thanksgiving dinner:

www.chinatownconnection.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
spentmiles     
Do they come with a pair of ratty old sweatpants with shiat marks in the back and cum stains all over the front? You know, relaxin' pants?

19 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
Wild Eyed and Wicked    [TotalFark]  
This year, i have taken a shortcut and ordered a fried and a smoked turkey from the basketball team that gets them from the local barbecue place. I am cooking the rest here but am dreading it with a passion.

The best Thanksgiving I have had in a while was when I got a stomach virus and could not chsnce infecting my 90 year old grandmother - cooked a small meal and watched football al day. That rocked...I don't blame anyone that does not want to cook for a slew of people all day.

19 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
wingnut396     
The review leaves out the most important part of the Costco Thanksgiving Meal Experience....

Did he let the door checker look at this receipt?

19 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
ConConHead     
Hrm. Seeing as I'm hosting a big ole party on 12/15, I wonder if they'll still have these available by then. Then again, it's all frozen. If I had a big enough freezer I could just stash it in there for 2 weeks.

8-10 bucks a person for a full turkey dinner ain't so bad when you think about it.

19 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
Finished my shopping last night... got a 20 pounder, and a newcastle mini-keg!

19 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
hogans     
cdn.uproxx.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
12349876     

ConConHead: 8-10 bucks a person for a full turkey dinner ain't so bad when you think about it.


You could just get everyone an individual TV dinner with turkey for a lot cheaper.

19 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

Marine1: Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"

Once a year. Not that hard. Not even like you had to harvest the vegetables or hunt for the turkey, either.


Sometimes, that's part of the fun.

19 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
fat boy     
Spirit Mountain Casino buffet this year.

19 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
GoldSpider     

Marine1: Once a year. Not that hard. Not even like you had to harvest the vegetables or hunt for the turkey, either.


I'm eating leftover roast wild turkey that I hunted myself as I type this, so I'm getting a kick out of your post.

19 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto     

Egoy3k: There are only two of us in my household my thanksgiving dinner this year was a nice chicken curry over rice and some naan bread. Last year it was prime rib steaks.


You sound Canadian.

19 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
Onkel Buck    [TotalFark]  
My supremely lazy ass will be making these
i244.photobucket.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
wildcardjack    [TotalFark]  
images.businessweek.comView Full Size


For the lazy and lonely.

Actually, since my folks are in Vegas until Thursday evening I'm pretty close to this. I might go have dinner with the natives in a casino.

19 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
ZeroPly     

Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"


Heh, same here...

I'll be skating outdoors all morning like I usually do every Thanksgiving, then fixing a CV joint on my car. If I want to have a big meal, I'll just go down and eat the buffet at the casino. Making pumpkin pie from scratch is great and all, but I'm not that finicky that I can tell the difference, and just about anything tastes good when you're sufficiently hungry.

I spent Thanksgiving weekend in 2010 camping and climbing at Horseshoe Canyon. One of these boxes sure would have tasted good then.

19 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
fastfxr     

Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"


ONCE a year....

19 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
OtherLittleGuy    [TotalFark]  
No, to be supremely lazy would be to get the $80 turkey dinner box, but refuse to show your Costco card at the entrance and your receipt when you leave.

19 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

fastfxr: Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"

ONCE a year....


I'm actually looking forward to it.... love to cook, go in my happy-zen place. So much so I'll be starting Wednesday evening after I get off work.

19 Nov 2012 12:17 PM
swahnhennessy     
And for only $80, it's a helluva lot less than you'd spend actually farking up a raw, unseasoned turkey or mashing your own potatoes.

Where does this person shop?

19 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
BinderWoman     
"If you are the type of person who desperately wants to host Thanksgiving in your own home but doesn't want to/doesn't know how to cook and also somewhat dislikes the people you're inviting over, this box is for you." I love the Houston Press.

19 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
cig-mkr     
Subby, are you nuts? Didn't you see the Tacos & Tits & Ass: Bizarre Love Triangle article? It was NSFW, not that I care cause I'm at home, but someone might.
It was under the related comments section, went back to link it and it was gone????
Serious

19 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
Bacontastesgood     

ZeroPly: Making pumpkin pie from scratch is great and all, but I'm not that finicky that I can tell the difference, and just about anything tastes good when you're sufficiently hungry.


To me pumpkin pie from scratch is the biggest waste. Prebaked kinda sucks, but get a good quality frozen crust and can of pie filling and it tastes pretty damn close for like 1/10th the effort.

Turkey is worth some effort. Mashed potatoes, OK fine. Everything else, meh. Open a can of jellified cranberry and boil up some instant stuffing and I'm good.

19 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
gito     
So, dinner for 6.858407346410209 then?

19 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     

fastfxr: Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"

ONCE a year....


Ah, but how often do you get to sit amongst friends and relatives, many of whom you might not see again for a long, long time--if ever? ONCE a year.

Now ask yourself. Would you like to be sitting in your favorite recliner, tanking up on good ale, wine and tasty cocktails while laughing and in other ways sharing good times with the people you love the most. Or would you like to be cutting your finger tips trying to pry loose the last bit of "giblets" from inside a half-frozen, bacteria laden turkey carcass?

/I'll have a bourbon sour on the rocks, please. And will someone put the mashed potatoes in the microwave for 5 minutes Thanks.

19 Nov 2012 12:23 PM
cig-mkr     
Found it, and it was in the Houston Press
NSFW !
Link

19 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
Claudius16309     

Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"


Lighten up Francis

19 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
Mr. Cat Poop     

swahnhennessy: And for only $80, it's a helluva lot less than you'd spend actually farking up a raw, unseasoned turkey or mashing your own potatoes.

Where does this person shop?


This. I got a 20 lb turkey for 60 cents a pound. Probably 50 bucks altogether for Thanksgiving. Gonna try the Alton Brown brine method this year.

19 Nov 2012 12:29 PM
baronvonzipper     
Country style smoked and BBQ'd ribs, honey corn bread, grilled asparagus and garlic, some stuff, and finished with grilled banana split.

No, the baroness does not cook.

19 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
anfrind     

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: fastfxr: Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"

ONCE a year....

Ah, but how often do you get to sit amongst friends and relatives, many of whom you might not see again for a long, long time--if ever? ONCE a year.

Now ask yourself. Would you like to be sitting in your favorite recliner, tanking up on good ale, wine and tasty cocktails while laughing and in other ways sharing good times with the people you love the most. Or would you like to be cutting your finger tips trying to pry loose the last bit of "giblets" from inside a half-frozen, bacteria laden turkey carcass?

/I'll have a bourbon sour on the rocks, please. And will someone put the mashed potatoes in the microwave for 5 minutes Thanks.


If nobody in your family can (or likes to) cook, then I suppose something like this Costco meal would be a good choice. In my case, however, both my mom and I enjoy cooking and have gotten pretty good at it (and we get along in one kitchen just fine), so Thanksgiving tends to be an enjoyable experience.

That being said, if you want to cook a turkey but you're not sure how, try Alton Brown's brined and roasted turkey. It's a pretty simple recipe, and even on Fark everyone seems to like it.

19 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     

anfrind: Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: fastfxr: Grapple: Sometimes I just don't want to cook for 12 hours Subby... Sorry you consider that to be "supremely lazy"

ONCE a year....

Ah, but how often do you get to sit amongst friends and relatives, many of whom you might not see again for a long, long time--if ever? ONCE a year.

Now ask yourself. Would you like to be sitting in your favorite recliner, tanking up on good ale, wine and tasty cocktails while laughing and in other ways sharing good times with the people you love the most. Or would you like to be cutting your finger tips trying to pry loose the last bit of "giblets" from inside a half-frozen, bacteria laden turkey carcass?

/I'll have a bourbon sour on the rocks, please. And will someone put the mashed potatoes in the microwave for 5 minutes Thanks.

If nobody in your family can (or likes to) cook, then I suppose something like this Costco meal would be a good choice. In my case, however, both my mom and I enjoy cooking and have gotten pretty good at it (and we get along in one kitchen just fine), so Thanksgiving tends to be an enjoyable experience.

That being said, if you want to cook a turkey but you're not sure how, try Alton Brown's brined and roasted turkey. It's a pretty simple recipe, and even on Fark everyone seems to like it.


I love Alton Brown.

Sadly, I like drinking far more than cooking. And those activities, given my experience, DO NOT MIX.

19 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
harbingerofdoom     
im cooking two birds this year. one roasted and one smoked
if i (admittedly one lazy person) can cook two birds on a day that i also have to work, im pretty sure you can cook one on a day you most likely have off.


however... if you dont know how to cook at all? yes, this is a totally viable way to go.

19 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
kiwimoogle84    [TotalFark]  

CapeFearCadaver: Finished my shopping last night... got a 20 pounder, and a newcastle mini-keg!


High five on the pony keg!!


Thanksgiving has always been a big holiday for my family. And there's so many good cooks in my family, it's more of a fun cooking experiment than hard work, especially if everyone chips in.

The turkey my sister got will go in a garlic orange brine overnight, and will be stuffed with homemade cornbread-fennel stuffing my bro in law will make. His parents are responsible for desserts, my parents are doing the potatoes (mashed and sweet) and I am doing both a green bean casserole with bacon, and a cheesy broccoli bake.

I could not IMAGINE eating thanksgiving out of a Costco box. I can't even see buying a Costco cheesecake. I make WAY better cheesecake than I can buy in a store.

Maybe that's our problem, that we're food snobs, but that's ok. I love thanksgiving.

19 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
halfof33     
I practice smoke a turkey this weekend using a farker's recipe and cherry wood logs.

It was ridiculously good.

I took one temp on it after I was pretty sure it was done and that juices bubbled out so long, I had to sliver a carrot and stick it in to make it stop.

19 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
ChipNASA     

PsyLord: I was hoping to get by with a few of these:

[cache.gawkerassets.com image 504x378]


Came for this and was going to add....

Turkey
simage1.sportsmansguide.comView Full Size



Potato
up.picr.deView Full Size


Veggies
cdn2.bigcommerce.comView Full Size




Stuffing
i10.photobucket.comView Full Size
 



Cherry Nut Cake.....MMMMMMM
up.picr.deView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 12:46 PM
ltdanman44     
"the bottom of the box wasn't taped up and immediately spilled its entire contents across the concrete floor. Bags of frozen green beans and tubes of muddy-colored gravy scattered like buckshot in all directions as I stood petrified in shame.

Now everyone in a 100-foot radius could see that I was the one sorry sap buying a frozen Thanksgiving box this year.

LMAO

19 Nov 2012 12:46 PM
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