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   "I curse all the f*cking time. Can I stop cursing all the goddamned time before my son-of-a-biatching baby is born?"

19 Nov 2012 03:30 PM   |   8415 clicks   |   Slate
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Babwa Wawa     
I used to curse like a stevedore before I had kids. I just stopped doing it in front of the kids. It's not f*cking hard.

19 Nov 2012 01:21 PM
The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
I use my and my wife's outbursts to teach our kids that mommy and daddy arnt perfect and they should shoot higher than being just like us.

19 Nov 2012 01:28 PM
ToxicMunkee     
Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?

19 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
jaylectricity    [TotalFark]  
If somebody wanted to use the words "son-of-a-biatching" to describe me, I might not be too offended by that.

19 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
Slaxl     

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?


Link

You are quite right.

19 Nov 2012 01:58 PM
Fo Shiz     
My wife was hanging with a bunch of grad students at CU and some of the people there (not my wife) were doing lines on the coffee table while someone's 2 year old daughter was playing on the floor. My wife told some one to "shut up" and the mother turns to her and says in a nasty tone, "Don't say 'shut up' in front of my kid!"

19 Nov 2012 02:07 PM
CitizenTed     
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


If I can't swear or smoke, I'm farked!

19 Nov 2012 02:12 PM
PhiloeBedoe    [TotalFark]  
i1079.photobucket.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
www.marketingshift.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 03:06 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk     
Yeah... STFU

19 Nov 2012 03:26 PM
wildcardjack     
Work in air traffic control for a while. The threat of FCC fines will make you curb your lip in a hurry.

19 Nov 2012 03:35 PM
Burr     

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb.


Hell, they can't understand words the first year out of the womb as well (more like first 18 months).

Now, my three year old who repeated "asshole" when I cussed at somebody who cut me off, is another story.

19 Nov 2012 03:36 PM
Headso    [TotalFark]  
meh, don't worry about it... have a friend who is a CO and his wife is one of the most foul mouth people I have ever met...cute as a button but has a very perverse vocabulary. And they have two daughters that they never bothered to stop swearing around and the kids seem to know when and when not to use that language based on when their parents use it.

19 Nov 2012 03:36 PM
SnyderCat     
Umm...I curse like a Navy Seal....

19 Nov 2012 03:36 PM
SnyderCat     

Headso: meh, don't worry about it... have a friend who is a CO and his wife is one of the most foul mouth people I have ever met...cute as a button but has a very perverse vocabulary. And they have two daughters that they never bothered to stop swearing around and the kids seem to know when and when not to use that language based on when their parents use it.


Umm...have we met?

19 Nov 2012 03:37 PM
Omahawg     
"bullshiat, dad. bullshiat," the three year old told me yesterday when I asked the 13 year old to to quit doing something

we are a foul mouthed people here

19 Nov 2012 03:37 PM
FTGodWin     

jaylectricity: If somebody wanted to use the words "son-of-a-biatching" to describe me, I might not be too offended by that.


Confused, yes. But hardly offended.

/ you ain't from around here, are ya boy?

19 Nov 2012 03:38 PM
groppet     
Im pretty good about not swearing in front of my nieces or nephew. There is a time to swear but if you jsut swear all the time it takes the effect of the word away and just makes you sound dumb.

19 Nov 2012 03:39 PM
ReverendJasen     

Fo Shiz: My wife was hanging with a bunch of grad students at CU and some of the people there (not my wife) were doing lines on the coffee table while someone's 2 year old daughter was playing on the floor. My wife told some one to "shut up" and the mother turns to her and says in a nasty tone, "Don't say 'shut up' in front of my kid!"


Huh. That's the point at which I let loose a random string of sons of coont-whore-cockmongering-biatchtits-f arkyous.

19 Nov 2012 03:40 PM
Porous Horace     

CitizenTed: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

If I can't swear or smoke, I'm farked!


Person: Could you please not swear so much?
Ricky: What the fark are you talking about?

Thanks for saving me the effort. Now I just need to post another great king of swearing.

metro.typepad.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 03:40 PM
GameSprocket     
images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


MAKE THAT biatch YOUR biatch, YOU BASTARD!

19 Nov 2012 03:41 PM
OtherLittleGuy     
cutelypoisoned.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


GTFO!

19 Nov 2012 03:41 PM
moothemagiccow     

wildcardjack: Work in air traffic control for a while. The threat of FCC fines will make you curb your lip in a hurry.


The FCC has a swear jar?

19 Nov 2012 03:42 PM
WhippingBoy     
When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.

19 Nov 2012 03:42 PM
fruitloop    [TotalFark]  
i171.photobucket.comView Full Size


Motherfarking college fund!

19 Nov 2012 03:42 PM
Nana's Vibrator    [TotalFark]  
Before the baby is born: not a big deal. After the baby is born: still not a big deal. Baby hits 12-18 months-ish: Time to stop.
Baby hits 2 years old: foul mouthed child

19 Nov 2012 03:43 PM
signaljammer     
There are many good reasons to not utter imprecations and oaths. The best is that to do so fronts powerlessness.

19 Nov 2012 03:43 PM
signaljammer     
The powerful seek a moderation in language. They search for terms such as 'liquidate.'

19 Nov 2012 03:45 PM
WhoGAS     

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?


Well, that was covered quickly.

19 Nov 2012 03:45 PM
Parthenogenetic    [TotalFark]  

Babwa Wawa: I used to curse like a stevedore before I had kids. I just stopped doing it in front of the kids. It's not f*cking hard.


I agree.

I swear like the proverbial sailor at work.

I do not swear at all in front of the kids. Ever.

I let the occasional profanity slip out when talking with the wife - I never swear *at* her, it's always about something else.

You have to set the mental boundary to filter out the cussing at home. I did not find it difficult. Your results may vary.

19 Nov 2012 03:45 PM
moothemagiccow     

WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.


They're going to do it at some point in their life. What's the big deal?

19 Nov 2012 03:46 PM
Inchoate     
Not sure why this is a deal. I'm not going to stop swearing in front of my kids (farking appliances sometimes don't farking work), nor do I care if someone uses curse words around children, as long as the kids aren't being verbally abused with it. The offensiveness is entirely arbitrary.

Will still train the Inchoatelets in the rudiments of politeness, so they don't sabotage their chances with some atavistic authority figure by dropping some F-bombs.

19 Nov 2012 03:46 PM
Aidan     

WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.


Mine did much the same thing at roughly the same age. Very Italian, just a simple "Faaark" with arms spread. Tried to ignore it (because attention makes it worse right?). After 3 weeks I said "Okay that's a bad word. Yes I know I say it a lot, but we can both try not to say it, alright?"

Now he's pretty good with not saying bad words, but I still swear all the time. Gotta work on that...

19 Nov 2012 03:46 PM
Rye_     
I really learned to put a lid on my cursing after the first time my two-year-old threw the F-word back at me.

19 Nov 2012 03:47 PM
Eddie Ate Dynamite     
I was at breakfast with my uncle the other day. When he's with his wife (who is also my aunt, what are the odds on that) or around his grandchildren he never curses. A young couple with 3 kids sat down directly behind me and he proceeds to tell a story and quote somebody that said "bullshiat", and he made sure to emphasize the "shiat" part so it seemed to echo across the restaurant. Everything got really quiet and I could feel the daggers being stared, but they had the class and presence of mind to not make a big deal out of it.

I don't really have a point, except that my uncle is a trip who has no sense of decency if his wife isn't there to tell him what's what. Old men are funny like that.

He also gave me his farking cold, god dammit. And now everybody is like "Oh you should take x!". I don't want to take x, fark off!

/Here x is a variable
//People aren't telling me to take X
///Though that might not be a bad way to get through a cold

19 Nov 2012 03:47 PM
TheOther     
Your mom's Tourette's gets really nasty when she orgasms.

19 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
esblondie2     
A friend of mine just recently told a story how she was staying with family and then had to go straight to a business trip; she and her husband were sleeping in the same room as their daughter. The alarm clock goes off and the toddler promptly sits up in bed, rubs her eyes and goes "oh, shiat." My friend looked at her husband and said "well, guess it's time to start watching the mouth."

We all got a good laugh out of it, however. I would have paid money to have heard that.

19 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
Greg Tolan     
The Onion has dealt with this issue. Their conclusion was that the birth date is not the relevant date on which to focus.

Link

19 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
Highroller48    [TotalFark]  

Babwa Wawa: I used to curse like a stevedore before I had kids. I just stopped doing it in front of the kids. It's not f*cking hard.


I've found it much harder than I expected, actually.

Goddamn!

/Fortunately, my 7-year-old daughter, rather than copy my profanity, much prefers to chastise me for using it.

19 Nov 2012 03:52 PM
TomD9938     
A friends daughters first word was "f*ck".

Why yes, she did have a child outside of marriage 17 years later and gets no support from the pizza-guy father.

19 Nov 2012 03:52 PM
Kittypie070     
I was chattering away with my Finnish friends one day after getting myself a snootful for some celebratory or infuriating reason and one of them asked me "Are you drunk? You're cussing almost like a Finn."

I was inordinately proud of myself for the rest of the week.

19 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

19 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
HailRobonia     

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?


Correct. However if you don't want your kid to swear in inappropriate situations, it's best to keep from saying these words yourself.

Besides, one of the pleasures of childhood is learning forbidden words. Spoiling your kids with swears is like giving them cheat codes to their games. Let them learn them for themselves!

19 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
moothemagiccow     

Rye_: I really learned to put a lid on my cursing after the first time my two-year-old threw the F-word back at me.


Isn't this closing the barn door after the horse has bolted?

19 Nov 2012 03:57 PM
TXEric     

signaljammer: There are many good reasons to not utter imprecations and oaths. The best is that to do so fronts powerlessness.


Shut the f*ck up, signaljammer...

19 Nov 2012 03:57 PM
moothemagiccow     

blatz514: reverse swear jar


another thing on youtube that's self-censored for no good reason

19 Nov 2012 03:59 PM
SnyderCat     

fruitloop: [i171.photobucket.com image 512x260]

Motherfarking college fund!


Grad school, medical school, and a few years at MIT too!

19 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
HailRobonia     
todaysmama.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  

SnyderCat: Umm...I curse like a Navy Seal....


Do you do one handed push ups whilst telling people to "suck my dick"?

www.thedorkreport.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
Campanula     
Being a teacher is another great way to either curb your cursing or find benign ways to getting your point across. I became fond of the phrase "son of a monkey" when I needed something expletive-y. One 18 month-old may not catch a swear you say accidentally. Thirty-five 15 year-olds most certainly will, and "but they say far worse to each other in the hallway" is not a valid excuse when a snowflake's mother complains to the principal about your language (or so I hear...).

19 Nov 2012 04:03 PM
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