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   Toddler held at gunpoint during home invasion warned not to try anything childish

19 Nov 2012 04:12 PM   |   8668 clicks   |   Fox 19 Cincinnati
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
Amburgey was able to identify one of the intruders as McDaniel's cousin, Christopher Sprinkles.

Oh good grief.

Rather convenient, though. His prison nickname is already picked out for him.

19 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: Amburgey was able to identify one of the intruders as McDaniel's cousin, Christopher Sprinkles.

Oh good grief.

Rather convenient, though. His prison nickname is already picked out for him.


If only they had called him Christopher "Titty" Sprinkles.

19 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
Ed Finnerty     
content.internetvideoarchive.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
cgraves67     
Two-year-olds aren't known for their compliance, but I have yet to pull a gun on one in order to make him do what I say.

19 Nov 2012 04:16 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
Amburgey was able to identify one of the intruders as McDaniel's cousin, Christopher Sprinkles.

LOL..you have to larf at criminals who do dumb shiat like this. They rob banks or stores that they go in all the time, or in this case of derp, their own relatives.

/Eject them from the country, its the only way to be sure they won't breed here.

19 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
JohnAnnArbor    [TotalFark]  

cgraves67: Two-year-olds aren't known for their compliance, but I have yet to pull a gun on one in order to make him do what I say.


Sounds like a study is needed.

19 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     

Diogenes


Amburgey was able to identify one of the intruders as McDaniel's cousin, Christopher Sprinkles.

Oh good grief.

Rather convenient, though. His prison nickname is already picked out for him.


"Multicolor"?


Yes, I know.

19 Nov 2012 04:18 PM
Dahnkster     

FirstNationalBastard: If only they had called him Christopher "Titty" Sprinkles.


I wish I could tell you that titty fought the good sprinkles NSFW NSFW

19 Nov 2012 04:18 PM
hbk72777     
media.dtsph.comView Full Size


dead men walking

19 Nov 2012 04:20 PM
wildcardjack    [TotalFark]  
This flashed into my mind.

dictated.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 04:21 PM
Grapple     

cgraves67: Two-year-olds aren't known for their compliance, but I have yet to pull a gun on one in order to make him do what I say.


Key Word: yet

19 Nov 2012 04:21 PM
Fano     
"I didn't mean to..."

19 Nov 2012 04:21 PM
Precision Boobery     
Waiting for the followup report saying after the police got there, they thought the toddler was another burglar and tased him for "failure to comply."

19 Nov 2012 04:22 PM
thatboyoverthere     

Bit'O'Gristle: Amburgey was able to identify one of the intruders as McDaniel's cousin, Christopher Sprinkles.

LOL..you have to larf at criminals who do dumb shiat like this. They rob banks or stores that they go in all the time, or in this case of derp, their own relatives.

/Eject them from the country, its the only way to be sure they won't breed here.


Bring up the question of why they didn't ask for the money. Even if they did and they got no you don't rob someone that can tell teh police your entire background. Hell I would rat them out for every crime they ever did not just that one.

19 Nov 2012 04:23 PM
TheOther     
You got a loaded gun. He's packing a loaded diaper.

Run for it, ChriSprinkles.

19 Nov 2012 04:23 PM
KrispyKritter     
any relation to Annie Sprinkles? (warning: your Google NSFW)

/dammit so old

19 Nov 2012 04:24 PM
protectyourlimbs     
Toddler please....

19 Nov 2012 04:24 PM
KellyKellyKelly     
www.eonline.comView Full Size


"Titty Christopher Sprinkles."

19 Nov 2012 04:24 PM
lakrfool     
www.empireonline.comView Full Size


Awww...Mistuh Sprinkles.

19 Nov 2012 04:25 PM
Sgt.Zim    [TotalFark]  
On first reading, I thought the fine young gentlemen pictured in the mugshots were the cousins in question ...

Needless to say, I was confused for a moment.

19 Nov 2012 04:25 PM
Jument     
They were home-invaded at gunpoint by one of their own cousins???!? Great family there!

19 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
xynix    [TotalFark]  

hbk72777: [media.dtsph.com image 600x400]

dead men walking


Russel Crowe want's his haircut from 2000 back..

19 Nov 2012 04:29 PM
abfalter     

FirstNationalBastard: Diogenes: Amburgey was able to identify one of the intruders as McDaniel's cousin, Christopher Sprinkles.

Oh good grief.

Rather convenient, though. His prison nickname is already picked out for him.

If only they had called him Christopher "Titty" Sprinkles.


Came here for the tittysprinkles reference. Leaving satisfied without reading the rest of the thread.

19 Nov 2012 04:32 PM
shazbotuh     
mmmmmm sprinkles

0.tqn.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 04:36 PM
SixOfDLoC     
Heh, I'd worry about someone doing something like this at my house, but with my kids the only real worry would be gettting the bloodstains out of the carpet after they killed and ate the guy.

/My pack of brats make the Children of the Corn look like Dora The Explorer.
//Couldn't be prouder.

19 Nov 2012 04:39 PM
BroncoFan_17     
ts4.mm.bing.netView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 04:41 PM
kdogg73     
Obscure?

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
TheGreatGazoo     
Stewie would have taken him out.

/If I see one sprinkle.... I shall kill you.

19 Nov 2012 04:45 PM
Precision Boobery     

kdogg73: Obscure?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]


The Sprink-Smidge is not obscure, you lunatic.

19 Nov 2012 04:52 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

shazbotuh: mmmmmm sprinkles

[0.tqn.com image 346x432]


The sprinkles contain potassium benzoate.

But soon Sprinkles will contain someone from the Aryan Brotherhood.

19 Nov 2012 04:56 PM
Nexzus     
Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

19 Nov 2012 05:00 PM
StoPPeRmobile     

Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?


Cops will come and take you away. Plus strangers will take your child.

19 Nov 2012 05:04 PM
MycroftHolmes     
It has already been said, but must be reiterated

Sprinkles?
cousin??

19 Nov 2012 05:12 PM
Rembrant_Q_Einstein     

Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?


Yeah, RELAX. The worst that is going to likely happen is some other kid hits them with a Tonka truck in the sandbox. The world is not really full of child molesters.

19 Nov 2012 05:12 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
www.tealab.comView Full Size

♪♫♪ Let's go to the jail! ♪♫♪

19 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
Bender The Offender     

StoPPeRmobile: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

Cops will come and take you away. Plus strangers will take your child.


Keep cool, don't make the kid's situation worse by being hauled off to jail or embarrassing them in front if strangers. The humiliation of your response can be worse than the event that occurred to set you off.

19 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
Johnsnownw     

Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?


This is exactly my issue. There was a chance that my wife, myself and our 11.5 month old were going to do a 1 month stint in Tanzania. White folk are common targets here, and my main problem was what my reaction would be to someone threatening my son. When I think about it, my first reaction would be to attempt injur/kill the offender. I don't think this would be a smart move, but I honestly don't think if I were thrown into that situation, that I could think rationally. I was afraid my immediate reaction would put us in more danger, as I'm not guaranteed to come out on top.

It turns out that we couldn't afford to go this year, but I"m going to have to deal with this at some point. Perhaps I'll have a cooler head as my kid ages? *shrugs*

/Wife is a doctor
//Global Health

19 Nov 2012 05:44 PM
Sin_City_Superhero    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: [www.tealab.com image 250x250]
♪♫♪ Let's go to the jail! ♪♫♪


I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of that...


Let's go to the mall, everybody!

Come on Jessica, come on Tori,

Let's go to the mall, you won't be sorry

Put on your jelly bracelets

And your cool graffiti coat

At the mall, having fun is what it's all about


I haven't done my homework yet (That's OK!)

And you know how my parents get (Whatever!)

I don't care,'cause all my friends are gonna be there

Let's go to the mall today


Everybody come and play

Throw every last care away

Lets go to the mall, today

Lets go to the mall everybody!


There's this boy I like

Met him at the food court

He's got hair like Gretzky

And he does jumps on his skateboard

I hope he asks me out

Takes me to my favorite spot

It'll be just him and me

(But don't forget the robot)


Dad says I'm too young to date (Lame!)


But baby, I don't want to wait (Let's do it!)

That's OK, I'm going to rock your body anyway

I'm going to rock your body 'til Canada Day


Everybody come and play

Throw every last care away

Let's go to the mall today


I went to the mall with a couple of friends

I had a whole week's allowance to spend

I want hoop earrings and a Benetton shirt

We came here to shop and we came here to flirt

I turned around and who should I see

Prime Minister Brian Mulroney

He said, "Young lady, I don't approve."

So I had to get down and bust a crazy move

Hit it Fred, come on

Let's go to the mall


Let's go to the mall, everybody!

Everybody come and play

Throw every last care away

Let's go to the mall today


Everybody loves the mall!

Everybody come and play (Yeah!)

Throw every last care away (I love my hoop earrings!)

Let's go to the mall today

19 Nov 2012 05:45 PM
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

Yeah, RELAX. The worst that is going to likely happen is some other kid hits them with a Tonka truck in the sandbox. The world is not really full of child molesters.


Besides, children are usually molested by someone they know and trust. Like creepy old man Jensen who lives across the street. Or a teacher. Or their older cousin Stacy, that one time at grandma's funeral.

Children are usually abducted by someone they know and trust. Like mommy's friend Jerry, that one time with the magic white powder.

But, other than that, your kids are safe. Unless you live next door to a serial killer.

/ hope that helps!

// I keed, I keed

19 Nov 2012 05:50 PM
GreenSun     
Lol I wonder how many kids ate that sprinkled crap :D

19 Nov 2012 06:02 PM
Nexzus     

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

Yeah, RELAX. The worst that is going to likely happen is some other kid hits them with a Tonka truck in the sandbox. The world is not really full of child molesters.


Yeah, in my head, I know that. The odds of a random (or not-so, as in TFA) armed burglary happening to my family is pretty farking low. Just like a random kidnapping. But still, I don't want to ever find out what I would be capable of to protect him:
farm9.staticflickr.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
bittermang     

Nexzus: Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

Yeah, RELAX. The worst that is going to likely happen is some other kid hits them with a Tonka truck in the sandbox. The world is not really full of child molesters.

Yeah, in my head, I know that. The odds of a random (or not-so, as in TFA) armed burglary happening to my family is pretty farking low. Just like a random kidnapping. But still, I don't want to ever find out what I would be capable of to protect him:
[farm9.staticflickr.com image 320x320]


Well, I'm no expert on the topic, but "Don't post pictures of The Child on the Internet" is probably in the top ten tips. Likely up there with instructions on securely wrapping them in bubble wrap, and advice on Vitamin D supplements for all the time the kid will spent holed up in a Panic Room away from sunlight.

Seriously. You made it this far. He'll make it. Or he won't. Those are really his two options at the end of the day. Bad stuff happens in this world. Don't forget good stuff happens, too. But nothing happens if you're planning alternate reality scenarios in your head about what would happen in situation X, and constantly trying to protect him from threats Y, Z, and W.

Imagine a scenario where a Patriarchal Overlord kept your woman locked in Iron Granny Panties, because sex is teh evil, and there's all kinds of predators out there seeking to crush the precious flower of his seed. Then you'd have never hooked up, and you'd never have the precious bundle of joy you now prize so dearly, and seek to protect.

19 Nov 2012 06:29 PM
Why Would I Read the Article     
Approves


24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 06:49 PM
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  

Nexzus: Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

Yeah, RELAX. The worst that is going to likely happen is some other kid hits them with a Tonka truck in the sandbox. The world is not really full of child molesters.

Yeah, in my head, I know that. The odds of a random (or not-so, as in TFA) armed burglary happening to my family is pretty farking low. Just like a random kidnapping. But still, I don't want to ever find out what I would be capable of to protect him:
[farm9.staticflickr.com image 320x320]


That little plastic thing you left on the bear toy is a choking hazard. Even worse, the surgery to remove it from the intestines probably costs thousands. Really, the greatest risk is to your finances, not the child- kids get hurt all the time, which can cost WAY more than a funeral. 

/Don't seek advice on FARK
//don't post pictures of non-meme kids
//your kid is not a meme

19 Nov 2012 06:53 PM
Indubitably     
Gun privileges revoked immediately.

19 Nov 2012 07:05 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Gun privileges revoked immediately.


P.S. Prime. *)

19 Nov 2012 07:05 PM
Hot Carl To Go     

UsikFark: Nexzus: Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

Yeah, RELAX. The worst that is going to likely happen is some other kid hits them with a Tonka truck in the sandbox. The world is not really full of child molesters.

Yeah, in my head, I know that. The odds of a random (or not-so, as in TFA) armed burglary happening to my family is pretty farking low. Just like a random kidnapping. But still, I don't want to ever find out what I would be capable of to protect him:
[farm9.staticflickr.com image 320x320]

That little plastic thing you left on the bear toy is a choking hazard. Even worse, the surgery to remove it from the intestines probably costs thousands. Really, the greatest risk is to your finances, not the child- kids get hurt all the time, which can cost WAY more than a funeral. 

/Don't seek advice on FARK
//don't post pictures of non-meme kids
//your kid is not a meme


i293.photobucket.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 07:16 PM
Lunaville     

Johnsnownw: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

This is exactly my issue. There was a chance that my wife, myself and our 11.5 month old were going to do a 1 month stint in Tanzania. White folk are common targets here, and my main problem was what my reaction would be to someone threatening my son. When I think about it, my first reaction would be to attempt injur/kill the offender. I don't think this would be a smart move, but I honestly don't think if I were thrown into that situation, that I could think rationally. I was afraid my immediate reaction would put us in more danger, as I'm not guaranteed to come out on top.

It turns out that we couldn't afford to go this year, but I"m going to have to deal with this at some point. Perhaps I'll have a cooler head as my kid ages? *shrugs*

/Wife is a doctor
//Global Health


I have a friend who took her entire family, including a toddler, to Tanzania to work with an NGO there. They loved it. Get in touch with other folks who've gone before you and talk to them about their experiences. Be careful about taking guidebooks to seriously. A few sensationalize the dangers in some areas so that they can put a blurb on the book stating the book contains important warnings and safety tips. We realized this when we went to Asia and realized how very absurd some of the advice we had read was.

19 Nov 2012 07:39 PM
Indubitably     

Lunaville: Johnsnownw: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

This is exactly my issue. There was a chance that my wife, myself and our 11.5 month old were going to do a 1 month stint in Tanzania. White folk are common targets here, and my main problem was what my reaction would be to someone threatening my son. When I think about it, my first reaction would be to attempt injur/kill the offender. I don't think this would be a smart move, but I honestly don't think if I were thrown into that situation, that I could think rationally. I was afraid my immediate reaction would put us in more danger, as I'm not guaranteed to come out on top.

It turns out that we couldn't afford to go this year, but I"m going to have to deal with this at some point. Perhaps I'll have a cooler head as my kid ages? *shrugs*

/Wife is a doctor
//Global Health

I have a friend who took her entire family, including a toddler, to Tanzania to work with an NGO there. They loved it. Get in touch with other folks who've gone before you and talk to them about their experiences. Be careful about taking guidebooks to seriously. A few sensationalize the dangers in some areas so that they can put a blurb on the book stating the book contains important warnings and safety tips. We realized this when we went to Asia and realized how very absurd some of the advice we had read was.


Indeed.

19 Nov 2012 07:44 PM
Johnsnownw     

Lunaville: Johnsnownw: Nexzus: Question for other relatively new parents out there: I haven't had to go papa-bear to protect my 13 month old from anyone else yet. Dreading the day I may have to because I fear I may not hold back - for better or for worse.

Any tips or experiences?

This is exactly my issue. There was a chance that my wife, myself and our 11.5 month old were going to do a 1 month stint in Tanzania. White folk are common targets here, and my main problem was what my reaction would be to someone threatening my son. When I think about it, my first reaction would be to attempt injur/kill the offender. I don't think this would be a smart move, but I honestly don't think if I were thrown into that situation, that I could think rationally. I was afraid my immediate reaction would put us in more danger, as I'm not guaranteed to come out on top.

It turns out that we couldn't afford to go this year, but I"m going to have to deal with this at some point. Perhaps I'll have a cooler head as my kid ages? *shrugs*

/Wife is a doctor
//Global Health

I have a friend who took her entire family, including a toddler, to Tanzania to work with an NGO there. They loved it. Get in touch with other folks who've gone before you and talk to them about their experiences. Be careful about taking guidebooks to seriously. A few sensationalize the dangers in some areas so that they can put a blurb on the book stating the book contains important warnings and safety tips. We realized this when we went to Asia and realized how very absurd some of the advice we had read was.


We've been there before, just not with a child.

19 Nov 2012 09:49 PM
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