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   You would think that of all people, a tree trimmer with the name Branch would be good at his job

19 Nov 2012 08:42 PM   |   4490 clicks   |   Journal News
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sgnilward    [TotalFark]  
If one were to go out on a limb...

19 Nov 2012 08:41 PM
Frankenstorm     
Well, I'm stumped.

19 Nov 2012 08:43 PM
Indubitably     
Branched out?

19 Nov 2012 08:44 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
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Really guys?

19 Nov 2012 08:44 PM
Indubitably     
Limb off?

19 Nov 2012 08:45 PM
Indubitably     
Tree down.

19 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Tree down.


Power's out indefinitely.

19 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
Kanemano     
At about 12:30 p.m. Sunday, Branch was taking...


taking what? drugs, a ride downtown, a course in comparative literature of the 12th century.

19 Nov 2012 08:47 PM
Giltric    [TotalFark]  
No ground crew or rope work?


for shame.....

19 Nov 2012 08:47 PM
Tickle Mittens     
Ironic aptronym. That is a full $10 of vocabulary right there.

19 Nov 2012 08:47 PM
Indubitably     

Giltric: No ground crew or rope work?


for shame.....


And crime...

19 Nov 2012 08:48 PM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
That's pretty ironic.

19 Nov 2012 08:49 PM
skinink     
When the accident happened he should have made like a tree, and got the fark out of there!

19 Nov 2012 08:51 PM
davidphogan     
I love it when people have a name that matches their job. I talked to an electrical engineer with the last name Power today, and that amused me.

/if only his first name had been Max

19 Nov 2012 08:52 PM
Indubitably     

Tickle Mittens: Ironic aptronym. That is a full $10 of vocabulary right there.


Ten bucks?

Sheet.

Sir, I've spent large larger, sir-squared.

To the tune of needing to teach everyone.

I just wish it paid something.

It doesn't.

And I'm not even doing it currently.

WTF?

MTF.

*)

19 Nov 2012 08:53 PM
2xhelix    [TotalFark]  

CapeFearCadaver: Content Preview This content is exclusive for Newsday digital access and 7-day home delivery subscribers and Optimum Online® customers.
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Really guys?



I just got a popup saying 5 free views before you have to subscribe. I just closed the box and RTFA

19 Nov 2012 08:56 PM
KrispyKritter     
guy i went to school with is a tree man. last time i saw him i was on the street and he was way the hell in a massive tree. he was like "hey Kritter what's up?" and i was like "you are, John!". He got a kick out of that.

/i have no life

19 Nov 2012 09:04 PM
Indubitably     

KrispyKritter: guy i went to school with is a tree man. last time i saw him i was on the street and he was way the hell in a massive tree. he was like "hey Kritter what's up?" and i was like "you are, John!". He got a kick out of that.

/i have no life

To diss...


*)

19 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  
I'll go out on a limb here and say I'm stumped as to why this fine soul didn't branch out and leaf the occupation of tree trimmer while he still had a chance of making the deciduous to be something else. His coniferous duty was rooted in making the cut. He, alas, did knot.

19 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: KrispyKritter: guy i went to school with is a tree man. last time i saw him i was on the street and he was way the hell in a massive tree. he was like "hey Kritter what's up?" and i was like "you are, John!". He got a kick out of that.

/i have no life

To diss...

*)


What is a fossil, anyway?

19 Nov 2012 09:07 PM
special20    [TotalFark]  
How about a hooker named Kochzucker, do you think she'd be good at her job?
/worst
//hummer
///evar.

19 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
Already Disturbed     
"That's like an ice cream man named Cone!"

19 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
fusillade762     

davidphogan: I love it when people have a name that matches their job. I talked to an electrical engineer with the last name Power today, and that amused me.

/if only his first name had been Max


You like Thai?

19 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
Apos     
24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

19 Nov 2012 09:16 PM
BalugaJoe     
I knew an underwriters with the name of Flood.

19 Nov 2012 09:19 PM
Indubitably     
Names.

19 Nov 2012 09:20 PM
ChromoSomes     
So his boss would be a Branch Manager?

19 Nov 2012 09:22 PM
Indubitably     

ChromoSomes: So his boss would be a Branch Manager?


He wishes.

19 Nov 2012 09:25 PM
Unobtanium     
My dentist when I was a kid - Payne. He lived up to it. Fillings? Topical anesthesic only.

19 Nov 2012 09:25 PM
skwerl     

2xhelix: CapeFearCadaver: Content Preview This content is exclusive for Newsday digital access and 7-day home delivery subscribers and Optimum Online® customers.
Subscribe Now, $1 Trial
Subscribe

Really guys?


I just got a popup saying 5 free views before you have to subscribe. I just closed the box and RTFA


Maybe you (or somebody else with similar permissions) could copy/paste the rest of the article here for us?

And I vote -1 for the submittard.

19 Nov 2012 09:26 PM
DownDaRiver     
So did anybody pony up the money so they could read the whole story?

Anybody?



Hello?

19 Nov 2012 09:27 PM
vodka     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

Agrees

19 Nov 2012 09:29 PM
Mikeyworld     
Maybe he should have became an apprentice panel beater.

/Whatever that is
//Din't RTFA

19 Nov 2012 09:32 PM
scalpod     
Maybe if his name had been Cleaver or Feller or Notch? Why would anyone ever assume someone with the name of Branch would be good at cutting them off rather than growing out from them?

19 Nov 2012 09:35 PM
fusillade762     

19 Nov 2012 09:40 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
I never trusted those Birchers.

19 Nov 2012 09:52 PM
Badgers     
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/Trees everywhere
//or something

19 Nov 2012 09:55 PM
harryhardhat     
One of the most dangerous jobs out there,
Drugs apparently mack it safer.

19 Nov 2012 09:55 PM
UsikFark    [TotalFark]  
Branch wasn't meant to be an endorsement, it was a command. Like, "Branch out into a desk job- desks are made of wood! Why, you could cut costs and buzz through forests of paper to succeed! But don't do anything with trees or heavy machinery, you'll kill us all."

19 Nov 2012 09:56 PM
Apos     

Badgers: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 300x400]

/Trees everywhere
//or something


I'm not sure how Vanessa Carlton figures into all this, but I like it!

19 Nov 2012 09:57 PM
Mr. Ekshun     
Article stops after two paragraphs and asks for money. Hey, it works for drug dealers, right?

Fark you, subby.

19 Nov 2012 10:06 PM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: I never trusted those Birchers.


WHAR WORK PERMET

WH

19 Nov 2012 10:08 PM
traylor     
This thread greened by Moddy McModminner, who is as perfectly good at his profession as his name suggests.

/really, isn't there something in the Posting Rules about paywall links?

19 Nov 2012 10:11 PM
danielscissorhands     
Was his last name Davidian?

/actually know someone named David Davidian.
//TSB

19 Nov 2012 10:14 PM
LouDobbsAwaaaay     
Who could have possibly predicted that at a tree-trimming company, the guy named Branch would be cut loose?

19 Nov 2012 10:21 PM
davidphogan     

fusillade762: davidphogan: I love it when people have a name that matches their job. I talked to an electrical engineer with the last name Power today, and that amused me.

/if only his first name had been Max

You like Thai?


Thai good. You like shirt?

19 Nov 2012 10:49 PM
Need a Dispenser Here     

davidphogan: I love it when people have a name that matches their job. I talked to an electrical engineer with the last name Power today, and that amused me.

/if only his first name had been Max


Was his name Evan by chance?

19 Nov 2012 10:56 PM
Mixolydian Master     

davidphogan: e a name that matches their job. I talked to an electrical engineer with the last name Power today, and that amused me.

/if only his first name had bee




images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

Bookman?, the library investigator's name is Bookman?, come on. That's amazing, that's like an ice cream man named cone.

19 Nov 2012 10:57 PM
morg     
For those people that are running Notscript or something similar you have to allow newsday and pagesuite to get to the pop-up where you can use one of your 5 free views.

or ...

taking down the limb at 89 Orange Tpke., (Route 17), when it crashed into the roof of a vacant house on the property and slid onto the roadway, blocking the sidewalk and both southbound lanes and one northbound lane of Route 17, police said. It did not hit any vehicles or pedestrians, police added.
Branch had been hired by the home's owner to remove a backyard tree that had been leaning for years, but Branch didn't secure the limb and misjudged the direction it would fall, police said. His actions "created substantial risk of serious physical injury to others," police said.
The homeowner was not charged.
Branch is set to appear in Sloatsburg Village Court on Dec. 19. Further information on his court appearance or legal representation was unavailable Monday, and efforts to reach him were unsuccessful.

19 Nov 2012 10:59 PM
BeSerious     
You would think that of all people a subby named dumbass would not submit a paysite article.

19 Nov 2012 11:07 PM
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