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   America finds vast reserves of Twinkies and Wonder Bread hidden in its hat

20 Nov 2012 07:59 AM   |   9653 clicks   |   Bloomberg
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ox45tallboy    [TotalFark]  
I think that Canadians actually enjoy how silly we Americans look sometimes.

20 Nov 2012 12:10 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

20 Nov 2012 12:14 AM
ox45tallboy    [TotalFark]  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan


No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.

20 Nov 2012 12:29 AM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  

ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.


It'll be bigger than heroin! Or cigarettes across East Grand Lake!

20 Nov 2012 07:19 AM
sno man    [TotalFark]  
You just love us for our resources...
natural and otherwise

ox45tallboy: I think that Canadians actually enjoy how silly we Americans look sometimes.


It does help us feel superior... but then we feel really guilty aboot being superior, so we spell stuff funny and pronounce it weird so you guys can feel superior too.

20 Nov 2012 07:22 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
I thought that was only Fruit Pies.

home.earthlink.netView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 07:23 AM
God Is My Co-Pirate     

ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.


Pretty soon the Kinderegg gangs will take over. It's a gateway snack.

20 Nov 2012 07:26 AM
SmackLT    [TotalFark]  

God Is My Co-Pirate: ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.

Pretty soon the Kinderegg gangs will take over. It's a gateway snack.


I totally want a business card that says "Twinkie smuggler" on it, but I'm too terrified it has some double meaning in the gay community.

20 Nov 2012 07:49 AM
stirfrybry     
look for the union label

20 Nov 2012 08:01 AM
towatchoverme     
Hehe. Twinkie smuggler.

20 Nov 2012 08:04 AM
abhorrent1     

20 Nov 2012 08:05 AM
Ecobuckeye    [TotalFark]  
So I can still get Ding Dongs at Loblaws?

20 Nov 2012 08:05 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

abhorrent1: This is how farking stupid people are


That is awesome.

It's like a thousand capitalist engines turned on at once.

20 Nov 2012 08:07 AM
strife     

xanadian: ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.

It'll be bigger than heroin! Or cigarettes across East Grand Lake!


The new 'Murican cartel in the making.

20 Nov 2012 08:08 AM
L'mours     

ox45tallboy: I think that Canadians actually enjoy how silly we Americans look sometimes.


Yes.

20 Nov 2012 08:09 AM
fruitloop    [TotalFark]  

abhorrent1: This is how farking stupid people are


No, THIS is how farking stupid people are.

/holy shiat, it has a bid

20 Nov 2012 08:09 AM
cakeman     
I sell Entenmanns on long island we used to owned by George Weston now we are part of the Groupo Bimbo. Thomas,Arnold, Stroehmann, Boboli, Sara Lee, are also held by my parent company. Arnold Bread is owner operated, the rest are cooperation owned routes

20 Nov 2012 08:10 AM
Raw_fishFood     
I will miss their delicious orange cupcakes. Shame I probably won't have them again.

20 Nov 2012 08:12 AM
ElBarto79     

ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.


I didn't realize twinkies were contraband. Canadians sell a lot of maple syrup here completely legally, wouldn't the same be true for baked goods?

20 Nov 2012 08:13 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

ElBarto79: ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.

I didn't realize twinkies were contraband. Canadians sell a lot of maple syrup here completely legally, wouldn't the same be true for baked goods?


The maple syrup is Canadian branded or rebranded and sold in the US. But Twinkies are branded in the US already, so selling Canadian ones here would be a violation of that brand.

20 Nov 2012 08:14 AM
StrangeQ     

AverageAmericanGuy: abhorrent1: This is how farking stupid people are

That is awesome.

It's like a thousand capitalist engines turned on at once.


and simultaneously ground to a halt as they had stuffed their gas tanks full of sticks and dried leaves.

20 Nov 2012 08:14 AM
cookiefleck    [TotalFark]  
I weep for the loss of sno balls, as I'm sure they'll go away. Twinkies weren't even the best product Hostess made

20 Nov 2012 08:15 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

StrangeQ: AverageAmericanGuy: abhorrent1: This is how farking stupid people are

That is awesome.

It's like a thousand capitalist engines turned on at once.

and simultaneously ground to a halt as they had stuffed their gas tanks full of sticks and dried leaves.


Oh well, unlike Beanie Babies, Twinkies can be eaten.

20 Nov 2012 08:16 AM
Loaf's Tray     
I find the fact that they refer to the US as "South of the Border" to be humbling, somehow...

20 Nov 2012 08:19 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Are they real Twinkies or some curd-and-gravy based imitation?

20 Nov 2012 08:19 AM
skinink     
And gay men keep misunderstanding this as a Twinks shortage.

20 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
KrispyKritter     

cookiefleck: I weep for the loss of sno balls, as I'm sure they'll go away. Twinkies weren't even the best product Hostess made


and they made them look like baseballs when the boys of summer were out to play. i feel sick inside.

20 Nov 2012 08:22 AM
SithLord     
INVADE!

20 Nov 2012 08:23 AM
great_tigers     
Honestly cannot tell you the last time I had a twinkie. Why are people losing their freaking minds over this?

20 Nov 2012 08:24 AM
ElBarto79     

AverageAmericanGuy: ElBarto79: ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.

I didn't realize twinkies were contraband. Canadians sell a lot of maple syrup here completely legally, wouldn't the same be true for baked goods?

The maple syrup is Canadian branded or rebranded and sold in the US. But Twinkies are branded in the US already, so selling Canadian ones here would be a violation of that brand.


Unless maybe the American manufacturer were to go bankrupt? They would probably be willing to sell their trademarks, or maybe there wouldn't be anyone around to pursue an infringement case.

20 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
BronyMedic     
bennettcarnahan.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Now is the time to launch the invasion of Canada. For too long, the polite Canadian menace has scourged America. First they gave us Canadian Bacon, so we could pay a dollar EXTRA for what is sliced ham. Now they rub the twinkies in our face? No more, America! No more!

We shall fight them on the beaches.
We shall fight them in the air.
We shall fight them in the streets.

img.scoop.co.nzView Full Size


Pictured above: Bloodthirsty Canadians ready to steal your Twinkies.

We shall fight them until every last Canookistani man and woman are free of the Monarchy. Free to exercise the rights due every free man. And free to give us our God Damn Twinkies.

God Bless America. And God Bless our GODDAMN TWINKIES.

media.tumblr.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

ElBarto79: AverageAmericanGuy: ElBarto79: ox45tallboy: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes another goddamned retirement plan

No, I would think there is going to be a huge market in smuggling Twinkies across the border.

I didn't realize twinkies were contraband. Canadians sell a lot of maple syrup here completely legally, wouldn't the same be true for baked goods?

The maple syrup is Canadian branded or rebranded and sold in the US. But Twinkies are branded in the US already, so selling Canadian ones here would be a violation of that brand.

Unless maybe the American manufacturer were to go bankrupt? They would probably be willing to sell their trademarks, or maybe there wouldn't be anyone around to pursue an infringement case.


Someone will own that brand, and they will go after anyone who tries to tread on their American territory.

Unless it's the Canadians. In that case they would just own both brands. Plus, they are really polite and nice and wouldn't be mean anyway.

20 Nov 2012 08:28 AM
LordOfThePings     
Only buy pre-chewed Twinkies from eBay. Why go to extra effort?

20 Nov 2012 08:28 AM
WGJ     
Will the smuggler importer of twinkies be the next American Royalty family?

20 Nov 2012 08:29 AM
okiemule     

Ecobuckeye: So I can still get Ding Dongs at Loblaws?


And at The Blue Oyster Bar.

/low-hanging fruit
//wait, what?

20 Nov 2012 08:30 AM
The Wack     
Going to Canada: 
www.pastapadre.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 08:31 AM
Deep Contact     
I can see strip searches starting at the border looking for hidden twinkies.

20 Nov 2012 08:35 AM
olapbill     
will drop ship care packages for when the apocalypse comes.
eh?

20 Nov 2012 08:43 AM
Pants full of macaroni!!     
There are still some Hostess products in the vending machines at my work, still at the normal prices. Amazingly they haven't been cleaned out yet.

20 Nov 2012 08:47 AM
gund goat     
robsp1derp1g.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 08:51 AM
fappomatic     
I'll risk a rogue border crossing for a truckload of Hoho's. If they stop distributing Nestle's "chocolate" milk, screw it. I'm packing.

20 Nov 2012 08:54 AM
jaybeezey     

great_tigers: Honestly cannot tell you the last time I had a twinkie. Why are people losing their freaking minds over this?


nostalgia, nothing more.

if a business can't make it, it should die.
i'm looking you GM.

20 Nov 2012 08:55 AM
Carn     

Pants full of macaroni!!: There are still some Hostess products in the vending machines at my work, still at the normal prices. Amazingly they haven't been cleaned out yet.


And if you ever played Fallout, you know they won't ever be.

20 Nov 2012 08:55 AM
Methadone Girls    [TotalFark]  
So I should take orders for when I come to this years Fark con?

I mean, I would hate to see you farkers have to turn to vegetables or something!

20 Nov 2012 08:56 AM
Copperbelly watersnake     
The execs who own Hostess now are just going to reform under a different name, and sell the brand to themselves.

I doubt there will even be a break in production.

20 Nov 2012 09:00 AM
BigBooper     

SithLord: INVADE!


Came here to say this. America can no longer stand idle while Canada flaunts it's Twinkie superiority! This insult must not go unanswered!

/This message brought to you by Exon-Mobil
//but it's totally not the oil, we need to conquer Canada for their Twinkies

20 Nov 2012 09:00 AM
BigBooper     

jaybeezey: great_tigers: Honestly cannot tell you the last time I had a twinkie. Why are people losing their freaking minds over this?

nostalgia, nothing more.

if a business can't make it, it should die.
i'm looking you GM.


My wife picked up a single pack of Twinkies, and we split them with our kids. I haven't had one in like twenty years, and our kids have never had them. My god they were sweet. The sponge cake was nasty and dry, while the filling tasted like it was just about pure corn syrup. Even if someone makes them, I won't be getting them again.

20 Nov 2012 09:04 AM
Danger Mouse     
Over the past few days no one, NO ONE has mentioned any sadness over losing Snoballs...where's the love for Sno Balls?

20 Nov 2012 09:05 AM
Leisure Suit Larry     
Do you Canadians call Twinkies "Hostess Tube Cakes" like they call Mac and Cheese "Kraft Dinner"?

20 Nov 2012 09:05 AM
bionicjoe    [TotalFark]  

ZAZ: Are they real Twinkies or some curd-and-gravy based imitation?


Seeing that it's a Canadian based food product I'd guess Twinkie equals orange sponge cake injected with chocolate mousse. Ya know, just like normal.

Bacon =/= ham from the shank
Whiskey =/= rye fermented with awful
Schaffer =/= musician

20 Nov 2012 09:07 AM
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