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   Tip 1 for robbing a bank: Don't pick one police have under surveillance. Tip 2: If you must ignore tip 1, be this guy

20 Nov 2012 11:48 AM   |   10923 clicks   |   Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
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WelldeadLink     
It's a good thing the cops were watching the back alley, because that's where so many bank robberies take place.

Fark bonus: The name of the neighborhood.

20 Nov 2012 08:14 AM
Barfmaker    [TotalFark]  
The headline...it's beautiful.

20 Nov 2012 09:09 AM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  

WelldeadLink: Fark bonus: The name of the neighborhood.


Yeah, guess you could say it took a lot of ...balls... for this guy to do what he did.

20 Nov 2012 11:21 AM
Communist_Manifesto     
I think the best part is this quote by an officer:
"All it takes is less than four minutes for a bank to be robbed," said robbery squad Sgt. Lavonnie Bickerstaff. "All you have to do is walk in, walk right back out. The banks aren't going to put up a fight, and they know that."

So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?

20 Nov 2012 11:54 AM
bittermang     

Communist_Manifesto: I think the best part is this quote by an officer:
"All it takes is less than four minutes for a bank to be robbed," said robbery squad Sgt. Lavonnie Bickerstaff. "All you have to do is walk in, walk right back out. The banks aren't going to put up a fight, and they know that."

So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


That quote really did sound like an advertisement, an endorsement, and I would go so far as to say a solicitation to go rob a bank.

So, if you go do it, can you claim entrapment?

20 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
vudukungfu     
Pittsburgh Pigs?
Not surprised.
They are usually out trying to figure out new ways to kill brothers.
Like in their jail cells.

20 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
Tight_as_an_Owl     
Tattooed necklace of shamrocks FTW!

20 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
DerAppie     

Communist_Manifesto: I think the best part is this quote by an officer:
"All it takes is less than four minutes for a bank to be robbed," said robbery squad Sgt. Lavonnie Bickerstaff. "All you have to do is walk in, walk right back out. The banks aren't going to put up a fight, and they know that."

So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


I think so, but how are we going to get a chicken to do the polka?

20 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
iheartscotch     
Sure it's easy; just don't dress-up like the joker.

20 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
Ghengis_Socrates     

Communist_Manifesto: So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


Stupid cop is stupid?

20 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
Mark Ratner    [TotalFark]  
I wonder why exploding dye packs aren't used more often, or is that only in the movies?

20 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  
Did I tell ya'll about my Physics Doctorate Thesis where I explored the time dilitation/compression that surrounds hot donuts?

I wanted to explain Cop Math, but that was just too far out.

20 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

Mark Ratner: I wonder why exploding dye packs aren't used more often, or is that only in the movies?


There is more dye on tellers over the years that perps.

20 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
roc6783     
I think this sums it up quite nicely:

Grand Total-All Violations: 5,086

Loot Taken and Recovered

Loot was taken in 4,534 (89 percent) of the 5,086 incidents. Loot taken is itemized as follows:

***snip***

Total

$38,343,501.96


Full or partial recovery of loot taken was reported by law enforcement agencies in 973 (20 percent) of the 4,534 violations in which loot was taken. Loot recovered is itemized as follows:

***snip***

Total

$8,070,886.97


From the FBI website on 2011 Bank Crime Stats

20 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
Mark Ratner    [TotalFark]  

snocone: Mark Ratner: I wonder why exploding dye packs aren't used more often, or is that only in the movies?

There is more dye on tellers over the years that perps.


I thought they were only triggered when the robber left the bank.

20 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
Sir_Farkalot     

Mark Ratner: snocone: Mark Ratner: I wonder why exploding dye packs aren't used more often, or is that only in the movies?

There is more dye on tellers over the years that perps.

I thought they were only triggered when the robber left the bank.


Right, because technology always works perfectly.

20 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
Mootwo     

WelldeadLink: It's a good thing the cops were watching the back alley, because that's where so many bank robberies take place.

Fark bonus: The name of the neighborhood.


Fark double bonus: Boca Raton, Florida

20 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
astouffer     

Communist_Manifesto: So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


Not even close to being worth your while. What I'm looking for is one single scam from a rich guy for like $10 mil. That's enough to set up a new alias in another country.

20 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
m053486     
Communist_Manifesto: So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


Yup.

Met an FBI agent at my buddy's wedding a few years back. Chatting over drinks at the reception, he basically told us that it's pretty easy to get away with robbing a bank once. Go somewhere nobody knows you, hand the teller a note, make a clean getaway, and never go back. The way they catch bank robbers is generally through establishing a pattern after repeated robberies.

'Course, I'm too big of a wuss to actually ball up and try it. Damn tempting, though.

20 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
trappedspirit     
You'd think it would be pretty easy to locate a serial bank robber in Squirrel Hill.

20 Nov 2012 12:25 PM
pute kisses like a man     

Mark Ratner: I wonder why exploding dye packs aren't used more often, or is that only in the movies?


back when i worked in a bank, as a teller, we originally had dye packs. the dye pack would be hidden in a strap of cash. the outside bills would be real, but a dye pack was inserted inside.

one day, some teller (not me), inadvertently dished out the dye pack cash to a real customer. she walked out the door and boom. her purse got exploded.

needless to say, she was unhappy.

the bank came to the realization that putting in a tracking device was a little nicer in the event of another screw up. plus, the tracking device is much smaller and more easily concealed in the money.

I'm sure other banks came to a similar realization. plus, a tracking device is more likely to find the guy.

20 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
WelldeadLink     

trappedspirit: You'd think it would be pretty easy to locate a serial bank robber in Squirrel Hill.


It isn't, because when you bait with nuts you won't catch a serial robber.
You need to use grains.

20 Nov 2012 01:27 PM
Mega Steve     

Tight_as_an_Owl: Tattooed necklace of shamrocks FTW!


I didn't even notice that. Was too busy looking at that classy teardrop tattoo

20 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

Sir_Farkalot: Mark Ratner: snocone: Mark Ratner: I wonder why exploding dye packs aren't used more often, or is that only in the movies?

There is more dye on tellers over the years that perps.

I thought they were only triggered when the robber left the bank.

Right, because technology always works perfectly.


Cheapest Possible Incremental Technology produced by the lowest bidder placed into human hands.
You know better.

20 Nov 2012 07:11 PM
Virulency     

Communist_Manifesto: I think the best part is this quote by an officer:
"All it takes is less than four minutes for a bank to be robbed," said robbery squad Sgt. Lavonnie Bickerstaff. "All you have to do is walk in, walk right back out. The banks aren't going to put up a fight, and they know that."

So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


That's FASTER than i can save on CAR INSURANCE!

20 Nov 2012 09:27 PM
derekdoubleut     

Communist_Manifesto: I think the best part is this quote by an officer:
"All it takes is less than four minutes for a bank to be robbed," said robbery squad Sgt. Lavonnie Bickerstaff. "All you have to do is walk in, walk right back out. The banks aren't going to put up a fight, and they know that."

So, anyone else thinkin what I'm thinkin?


Uh, I think so, but where will we find a duck and a hose at this hour?

21 Nov 2012 01:34 AM
derekdoubleut     

roc6783: I think this sums it up quite nicely:

Grand Total-All Violations: 5,086

Loot Taken and Recovered

Loot was taken in 4,534 (89 percent) of the 5,086 incidents. Loot taken is itemized as follows:

***snip***

Total

$38,343,501.96


Full or partial recovery of loot taken was reported by law enforcement agencies in 973 (20 percent) of the 4,534 violations in which loot was taken. Loot recovered is itemized as follows:

***snip***

Total

$8,070,886.97


From the FBI website on 2011 Bank Crime Stats


Less than $9k/incident is not a good haul. Not worth the years in a cage.

21 Nov 2012 01:38 AM
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