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   9) Shopping on Black Friday

20 Nov 2012 02:32 PM   |   11663 clicks   |   Time
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WorldCitizen     
1) Shopping on Black Friday.

20 Nov 2012 11:09 AM
SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
In other words, if you're not reading this on a mobile device while shivering in a sleeping bag on the sidewalk outside the store by now, you've probably missed your chance.

not worth it.

20 Nov 2012 11:09 AM
beantowndog     
I wonder if amazon is open that day.

20 Nov 2012 11:12 AM
impaler    [TotalFark]  
3. Buying toys too early - or too late.
5. Getting the timing wrong.

Some likes to pad lists.

Also, done in one.

20 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
DanZero    [TotalFark]  
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 11:50 AM
DanZero    [TotalFark]  

beantowndog: I wonder if amazon is open that day.


Their subsidiary will be

img.photobucket.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
10) Wearing shoes without enough ankle support for proper trampling to ensure that 70" Broksonic "1080p full 3D LED HDTV" is yours for a totally plausible $99.

20 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier    [TotalFark]  
Ah yes, the running of the bulls - a bunch of overweight, stinky, pissed off animals in a closed environment where someone inevitably gets killed or maimed every year. The analogy isn't perfect, because in Spain they kill the bulls with spears.

/Why yes, I do work retail

20 Nov 2012 01:03 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.

20 Nov 2012 02:34 PM
LeroyBourne     
They really should arm those poor employees, to even the odds that is.

20 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
ChipNASA     

CapeFearCadaver: Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.


11. Getting off the couch.

20 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
macdaddy357     
Anyone who shops Black Friday should be committed to a stupid asylum.

20 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
DemoKnite     
I've read or heard the term "doorbusters" in the past two weeks more than Ive heard it in my entire life. It makes me cringe for some reason.

20 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
King Something     
I'm not in any particular hurry to partake in this year's Running Of The Fools.

20 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
DirkTheDaring     
12) Bringing pepper spray

20 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
ModernPrimitive01     
I worked retail to help pay my way through college. I will never go shopping on black Friday. I respect the workers too much to destroy a family holiday for them just so I can feel like I got a good deal for shiat I don't need. Last year my best friend had to work from midnight on Thanksgiving night to 12 p.m. the next day just so a bunch of animals could throw their money away. It's a disgusting practice

20 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
ArgusRun     

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Ah yes, the running of the bulls - a bunch of overweight, stinky, pissed off animals in a closed environment where someone inevitably gets killed or maimed every year. The analogy isn't perfect, because in Spain they kill the bulls with spears.

/Why yes, I do work retail


There's no excuse for it as I manage malls, but one year I forgot about Black Friday.

I'm corporate and am not on-site management, but even then it's no excuse. I woke up, realized I needed something from Michael's and went out to get it, looking forward to a productive day off of wine and crochet and occasionally answering email from the malls on my blackberry.

When I got to the center, I nearly got t-boned my someone racing into a parking spot ahead of me. I couldn't figure it out for a solid 30 seconds. When I realized what day it was, I turned around and left.

It's not worth my life or sanity.

20 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     

if you're not reading this on a mobile device while shivering in a sleeping bag on the sidewalk outside the store by now, you've probably missed your chance


I am completely okay with this.

20 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
The Angry Hand of God     

Mr. Coffee Nerves: 10) Wearing shoes without enough ankle support for proper trampling to ensure that 70" Broksonic "1080p full 3D LED HDTV" is yours for a totally plausible $99.


Especially when you can get a totally awesome Panaphonics for $89.

20 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
JackieRabbit     

CapeFearCadaver: Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.


I used to go hiking. The trails are completely empty. I'd pack my backpacker stove, some Earl Gray and some cheese and fruit, grab the alpinschtick go find myself a nice high and quiet place to have a bit of lunch. Fark Black Friday.

20 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
Danger Mouse     
I finished my shopping last week.

Thanks Internets!


/Hate Malls. Therre full of all you people.

20 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     

The Angry Hand of God


Mr. Coffee Nerves: 10) Wearing shoes without enough ankle support for proper trampling to ensure that 70" Broksonic "1080p full 3D LED HDTV" is yours for a totally plausible $99.

Especially when you can get a totally awesome Panaphonics for $89.


You'll never see a Sorny or a Magnetbox in that price range. Better buy two.

20 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
ArgusRun     
Also, I feel for the retailers. I really do. It's just absolutely ridiculous. And dangerous. For very little real benefit. The big door-busters are loss leaders. The added staffing needed for the extra volume and hours is enormous and all for some buzz.

It's all a big marketing ploy, but unlike a radio or TV ad, people get hurt and killed and verbally abused when their store runs out of an item.

20 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
tricycleracer     
I'm going to a wedding at noon on Black Friday and then diving headlong into the open bar.

20 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
snowybunting    [TotalFark]  
My wife goes out at 5am every Black Friday, while my buddies and I hit an awesome mountain bike trail near Ann Arbor. We fall and smash our faces into trees and eat dirt, and I still think I'm getting the better of the deal.

20 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

JackieRabbit: CapeFearCadaver: Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.

I used to go hiking. The trails are completely empty. I'd pack my backpacker stove, some Earl Gray and some cheese and fruit, grab the alpinschtick go find myself a nice high and quiet place to have a bit of lunch. Fark Black Friday.


That sounds lovely. Unfortunately for me, I live right behind my city's most popular mall. The only way I could do this would be if I left for somewhere earlier and stayed the whole weekend. As is it, I have to board myself up, make sure there's enough alcohol and defend my driveway :(

20 Nov 2012 02:46 PM
The Third Man     
One of my wife's friends decided to camp out for some "big savings" at a big box store starting last night. This woman works on contract--she can take time off, but she only gets paid when she works. We started thinking: say she gets paid $20/hr, and she's taking three eight-hour days off. That's $480 she's turning down, $320 if you assume she wouldn't be working on Thanksgiving anyway. For that she gets to sit around in the cold for close to 100 hours. That seriously cannot be worth it, for electronics that will probably be cheaper the day after Christmas, and might even be cheaper the week before Christmas depending on how it sells.

I just do not understand the mentality of what Black Friday/Christmas has become. I'm thankful I've got a wife and two kids who don't buy into the "OMG MUST HAVE IPAD SUPER MINI 15 NOW NOW NOW" mindset. That's not to say we're hippies who've shunned the electronic lifestyle or anything, far from it. But we just buy stuff when we need it and when it's prudent to do so. When I hear that America needs Black Friday for the economy to survive...well, I just don't know what to say.

20 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
Freudian_slipknot     
The few years where I was unlucky enough to work retail on Black Friday, when we got the store flyers for the "doorbusters" it turned out that we did not carry those items. Any of them. And never had carried them.

There was a LOT of anger that day. Mostly directed at me. For $8/hour.

The only thing worse than that is working at the restaurants around the mall that day. People out value shopping need to eat but don't want to go far, so they come in to relax with free water and free bread for an hour.

I'm staying home on black friday. Forever.

20 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
ModernPrimitive01     

Danger Mouse: I finished my shopping last week.

Thanks Internets!


/Hate Malls. Therre full of all you people.


evolutionofhatred.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
Danger Mouse     

ChipNASA: CapeFearCadaver: Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.

11. Getting off the couch.


Nope. Not me. I'm slapping on a pair of Depends and don't plan on moving until sometime around sunday.

20 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     
They should disable EBT cards on Black Friday. It would make for a much more pleasant shopping experience.

20 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
I'll be at work Friday. Boss is gone this whole week hunting. I shall dominate the Fark quiz!

20 Nov 2012 02:51 PM
thoughtsausage     

20 Nov 2012 02:53 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

thoughtsausage: [userserve-ak.last.fm image 338x322]
Approves


Who cares what that nut-ball has to say?

20 Nov 2012 02:55 PM
Overused Expression     
art.penny-arcade.comView Full Size


One of my first jobs was working an EB Games in a mall before Gamestop bought them out. Every Black Friday I was there, I had a moment where I suddenly knew what a predator felt like in the wild before it took down its prey, as I cataloged the various weak points on the more annoying customers and calculated how quickly they would bleed out and die if I struck.

/The worst were the parents leaving their crotchfruit in the store.
//We weren't a farking daycare.
///Stopped pretty quick when a few of our regulars - cops - called in some help and got them all cited for child abandonment and endangerment.
////I laughed...I'm vindictive that way.
////The 5th slashy must always be different.

20 Nov 2012 02:59 PM
pute kisses like a man     

blatz514: I'll be at work Friday. Boss is gone this whole week hunting. I shall dominate the Fark quiz!


originally i was going to respond that I was going to be working too... and that my wife works in a shop, so she'll be in hell...

but then I figured out my black friday plans: house to myself, no expectations, no family in town... i'll buy a sack of oysters and sit on the porch and shuck till the sun goes down. take that, world of reasonable human behavior. 

/ i'm starting to get the feeling that this thanksgiving might become a catastrophically apocalyptic gastronomical event.

20 Nov 2012 03:00 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

CapeFearCadaver: thoughtsausage: [userserve-ak.last.fm image 338x322]
Approves

Who cares what that nut-ball has to say?


He is crazy but I still love Megadeth.

20 Nov 2012 03:00 PM
5monkeys    [TotalFark]  
Black Friday is going to save ne a ton of cash this year. Hurricane sandy flooded my house with 4 1/2 feet of water and I have a ton of items to replace. I am making a needs only list and getting it done as cheap as possible. I normally do black Friday for the fun of it, I love people watching, but this year I am really happy that these sales are happening. Five kids, single mom, flooded out house before Christmas. I was in a panic when this all happened, then I realized with black Friday I may be able to get a lot of the kids stuff back.

20 Nov 2012 03:01 PM
martid4    [TotalFark]  

snowybunting: My wife goes out at 5am every Black Friday, while my buddies and I hit an awesome mountain bike trail near Ann Arbor. We fall and smash our faces into trees and eat dirt, and I still think I'm getting the better of the deal.


My buddies and I have butt secks with her and give her a cheap TV.

20 Nov 2012 03:02 PM
JackieRabbit     

CapeFearCadaver: JackieRabbit: CapeFearCadaver: Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.

I used to go hiking. The trails are completely empty. I'd pack my backpacker stove, some Earl Gray and some cheese and fruit, grab the alpinschtick go find myself a nice high and quiet place to have a bit of lunch. Fark Black Friday.

That sounds lovely. Unfortunately for me, I live right behind my city's most popular mall. The only way I could do this would be if I left for somewhere earlier and stayed the whole weekend. As is it, I have to board myself up, make sure there's enough alcohol and defend my driveway :(


Behind the mall. Uh! I'm sorry. Yes, lots of alcohol would be needed. I can't hike much anymore because of some knee and back issues. But we usually go to our place in the mountains for Thanksgiving. It's very quiet and peaceful there, too. But this year, we are staying home. We live nowhere near a mall, but there's plenty of upscale shopping venues in our area, so we're expecting traffic problems if we need to go out.

20 Nov 2012 03:03 PM
CygnusDarius     
Am I the only one that does Christmas shopping before the Christmas shopping sprees? Besides, the stuff that I like, it's either during that time, or in January.

20 Nov 2012 03:04 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

pute kisses like a man: sit on the porch


There will be a lot more of this than football watching at my house. It's supposed to be absolutely gorgeous both Thursday and Friday here; I plan on a few cigars and a good book on the back porch Friday. That night have my best friend and his girl coming over for leftovers and bourbon drinks.

Goddammit, why isn't it 24 hours from now yet?

20 Nov 2012 03:05 PM
ProfessorOhki     
I was visiting a friend out of state for Thanksgiving and they convinced me to help them at work on Black Friday because they were understaffed. Oh, but no, this was nothing as high-end as Best Buy or even Wal*Mart- this was Shoe Carnival.

We're not really friends anymore.

20 Nov 2012 03:08 PM
metallion     
I buy christmas presents during the year, until about the first week of November. When I get down to the people I just can't pick something for, they get gift cards in a christmas card holder. I'm sleeping through Black Friday.

20 Nov 2012 03:09 PM
rogiesangel     

5monkeys: Black Friday is going to save ne a ton of cash this year. Hurricane sandy flooded my house with 4 1/2 feet of water and I have a ton of items to replace. I am making a needs only list and getting it done as cheap as possible. I normally do black Friday for the fun of it, I love people watching, but this year I am really happy that these sales are happening. Five kids, single mom, flooded out house before Christmas. I was in a panic when this all happened, then I realized with black Friday I may be able to get a lot of the kids stuff back.


Good Luck to you and I hope you are able to get the things that you need.

20 Nov 2012 03:12 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

JackieRabbit: CapeFearCadaver: JackieRabbit: CapeFearCadaver: Stay home, eat turkey sammiches, drink beer, watch football.

I used to go hiking. The trails are completely empty. I'd pack my backpacker stove, some Earl Gray and some cheese and fruit, grab the alpinschtick go find myself a nice high and quiet place to have a bit of lunch. Fark Black Friday.

That sounds lovely. Unfortunately for me, I live right behind my city's most popular mall. The only way I could do this would be if I left for somewhere earlier and stayed the whole weekend. As is it, I have to board myself up, make sure there's enough alcohol and defend my driveway :(

Behind the mall. Uh! I'm sorry. Yes, lots of alcohol would be needed. I can't hike much anymore because of some knee and back issues. But we usually go to our place in the mountains for Thanksgiving. It's very quiet and peaceful there, too. But this year, we are staying home. We live nowhere near a mall, but there's plenty of upscale shopping venues in our area, so we're expecting traffic problems if we need to go out.


It's one of those Have To Be Prepared things, like a hurricane or icestorm coming through :) As soon as I leave work in a couple minutes here I have to pick up just a few more supplies and will be set until next Monday. As long as I don't chop a finger off or something cooking turkey....
That's awesome y'all got a place out in the mountains! My family shares one but hardly ever get out there.

20 Nov 2012 03:13 PM
Old enough to know better     
But it sure makes for some entertaining Youtube videos.

20 Nov 2012 03:17 PM
Jument     

5monkeys: Black Friday is going to save ne a ton of cash this year. Hurricane sandy flooded my house with 4 1/2 feet of water and I have a ton of items to replace. I am making a needs only list and getting it done as cheap as possible. I normally do black Friday for the fun of it, I love people watching, but this year I am really happy that these sales are happening. Five kids, single mom, flooded out house before Christmas. I was in a panic when this all happened, then I realized with black Friday I may be able to get a lot of the kids stuff back.


That's actually a CSB, but IMHO still not farking worth going to a B&M store on Black Friday!

20 Nov 2012 03:21 PM
shortymac     
I never got Black Friday, I'm not waking up at 5am to go to Wal-Mart and fight people for maybe 100 bucks off a TV.

Fark that noise, the internet has made shopping a breeze.

20 Nov 2012 03:23 PM
noblehammer16     

rogiesangel: 5monkeys: Black Friday is going to save ne a ton of cash this year. Hurricane sandy flooded my house with 4 1/2 feet of water and I have a ton of items to replace. I am making a needs only list and getting it done as cheap as possible. I normally do black Friday for the fun of it, I love people watching, but this year I am really happy that these sales are happening. Five kids, single mom, flooded out house before Christmas. I was in a panic when this all happened, then I realized with black Friday I may be able to get a lot of the kids stuff back.

Good Luck to you and I hope you are able to get the things that you need.


This

20 Nov 2012 03:25 PM
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