"The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

Jesus! I would have given up after three days.

May not?
So there's a chance... right?

"The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

But then, I repeat myself...

Did she have sex with him? I don't want that to happen but it could be part two of a trifecta.

Just sayin'

Authorities believe Mr Chase was never moved his body after his death after he died of natural causes.

Wut?

pxlboy: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

You said "Pentecostal"'twice.

Just another Heartland Weirdass: pxlboy: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

You said "Pentecostal"'twice.

Ha! I almost wrote something to effect of what you said, but yeah, that's spot-on. I went with a friend to a Pentecostal service in my early 20s. It was....surreal.

But...but....JEBUS LOVES US...!!!

/thought it personally funny that after 3 years of fruitless prayer, they just tossed him in a dumpster. THUD...seeya.

whatshisname: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

But then, I repeat myself...

Almost stopped there, but I couldn't resist a full dose of bat shiat crazy.

GOD trifecta complete!

She doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.

"Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water. Our shark. Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies."

Thanks alot Obamacare!

pxlboy: Just another Heartland Weirdass: pxlboy: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

You said "Pentecostal"'twice.

Ha! I almost wrote something to effect of what you said, but yeah, that's spot-on. I went with a friend to a Pentecostal service in my early 20s. It was....surreal.

/Had a girlfriend long ago that was pentecostal. She invited me to her church one sunday, (Im Presbyterian btw), and needless to say, the screaming and flopping, the speaking in tongues was a bit much for me. And that was just the sex downstairs with her in the cloak room.

Bit'O'Gristle: But...but....JEBUS LOVES US...!!!

/thought it personally funny that after 3 years of fruitless prayer, they just tossed him in a dumpster. THUD...seeya.

Lmao..my thoughts exactly.

"But mom, I don't this trash bag is strong enough. The bones keep poking through."

"Double bag him, honey. C'Mon, hurry it up."

That's a lease-breaker for sure.

I have been assured by many many Christian 'friends' that prayer works, and that if you pray hard enough, God will answer.

I suppose God's answer was "he's dead, lady. Give it up."

Pentecostals...

Jesus is the answer.

Of course, the question is "why do bad things happen to good people?"

Dead white Russian male, 42, seeks dumpster for fun and decomposition.

NO TREE SHREDDERS PLEASE.

The real question is, after three years dead would you want them to come back to life? Mmmm... brains.....

Well, she didn't sacrifice a goat. It never works without that. What an amateur.

mummified dead husband

/ redundant adjective is redundant
// redundant

18 months = 3 years? WTF?

It will allow you to keep living on the Lawn at Uva for a while, though

AverageAmericanGuy: She doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.

Why, she wouldn't even hurt a fly...

Do you have to put him in the oven for a while to get him to dry out like that?

Feral_and_Preposterous: 18 months = 3 years? WTF?

Actually reading the article might clear up that little misconception you have going there.

Stop laughing. He looks pretty damn good for a mummy.

No one has mentioned Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" yet?

Bedstead Polisher: May not?
So there's a chance... right?

Well yeah, as long as you are willing to accept a long commitment from an insanity plea as a win.......

Someone in a position that this woman will accept as credible -- such as a Pentecostal minister or other church leader -- needs to sit down with her and explain to her, as gently as possible, that she cannot persuade God to resurrect her husband, because she just does not love God sufficiently.

JasonOfOrillia: Did she have sex with him? I don't want that to happen but it could be part two of a trifecta.

Just sayin'

Well, he was stiff.

Coconutty: Well, she didn't sacrifice a goat. It never works without that. What an amateur.

She could have at least tried a chicken

You get three days for a resurrection. After that, they're pretty much toast.

Dimensio: Someone in a position that this woman will accept as credible -- such as a Pentecostal minister or other church leader -- needs to sit down with her and explain to her, as gently as possible, that she cannot persuade God to resurrect her husband, because she just does not love God sufficiently.

No, no, no - you never tell religious people things like that directly. If you do, they may give up and stop giving you money.

No, you imply that they don't love their god enough by telling them all the wonderful things that happen to people who do. And if they are desperate for something to happen, you tell them that praying and giving their tithe is absolutely essential to making it happen. Once you tie money into the equation, you're golden. And of they think their god requires it, they'll do anything. They've already suspended reason. It's really not that hard to make them suspend it just... that... little... bit... more.

Buncha servile f*ckwits.

Yeah, I'd say give it 3 full days and then after that, man, they're gone.

Shoulda duct taped him

AverageAmericanGuy: She doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.

But did she ever stop to think that maybe he didn't want to come back?

John 11:39 '...Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh...'

/DRTFA