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   Keeping your mummified dead husband around for 3 years, while praying for him to come back to life, may not work out for you. Just sayin'

20 Nov 2012 09:54 PM   |   4760 clicks   |   Daily Mail
Showing 1-42 of 42 comments
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pxlboy    [TotalFark]  
"The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

20 Nov 2012 09:55 PM
NotMyAlt     
Jesus! I would have given up after three days.

20 Nov 2012 09:56 PM
Bedstead Polisher     
May not?
So there's a chance... right?

20 Nov 2012 09:58 PM
whatshisname     
"The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

But then, I repeat myself...

20 Nov 2012 09:58 PM
JasonOfOrillia    [TotalFark]  
Did she have sex with him? I don't want that to happen but it could be part two of a trifecta.

Just sayin'

20 Nov 2012 09:58 PM
Indypendy     
Authorities believe Mr Chase was never moved his body after his death after he died of natural causes.

Wut?

20 Nov 2012 09:59 PM
Just another Heartland Weirdass     

pxlboy: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.


You said "Pentecostal"'twice.

20 Nov 2012 09:59 PM
pxlboy    [TotalFark]  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: pxlboy: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

You said "Pentecostal"'twice.


Ha! I almost wrote something to effect of what you said, but yeah, that's spot-on. I went with a friend to a Pentecostal service in my early 20s. It was....surreal.

20 Nov 2012 10:00 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
But...but....JEBUS LOVES US...!!!

/thought it personally funny that after 3 years of fruitless prayer, they just tossed him in a dumpster. THUD...seeya.

20 Nov 2012 10:01 PM
Indypendy     

whatshisname: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

But then, I repeat myself...


Almost stopped there, but I couldn't resist a full dose of bat shiat crazy.

20 Nov 2012 10:01 PM
bwilson27     
GOD trifecta complete!

20 Nov 2012 10:01 PM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
She doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.

20 Nov 2012 10:01 PM
BigLuca    [TotalFark]  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

"Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water. Our shark. Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies."

20 Nov 2012 10:01 PM
Fart_Machine     
Thanks alot Obamacare!

20 Nov 2012 10:03 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     

pxlboy: Just another Heartland Weirdass: pxlboy: "The woman, described as a devout Pentecostal Christian with a psychiatric record"

I stopped reading after that.

You said "Pentecostal"'twice.

Ha! I almost wrote something to effect of what you said, but yeah, that's spot-on. I went with a friend to a Pentecostal service in my early 20s. It was....surreal.


/Had a girlfriend long ago that was pentecostal. She invited me to her church one sunday, (Im Presbyterian btw), and needless to say, the screaming and flopping, the speaking in tongues was a bit much for me. And that was just the sex downstairs with her in the cloak room.

20 Nov 2012 10:03 PM
Mark Ratner     

Bit'O'Gristle: But...but....JEBUS LOVES US...!!!

/thought it personally funny that after 3 years of fruitless prayer, they just tossed him in a dumpster. THUD...seeya.


Lmao..my thoughts exactly.

"But mom, I don't this trash bag is strong enough. The bones keep poking through."

"Double bag him, honey. C'Mon, hurry it up."

20 Nov 2012 10:13 PM
Strongbeerrules     
That's a lease-breaker for sure.

20 Nov 2012 10:14 PM
graeylin     
I have been assured by many many Christian 'friends' that prayer works, and that if you pray hard enough, God will answer.

I suppose God's answer was "he's dead, lady. Give it up."

20 Nov 2012 10:16 PM
Allen. The end.     
Pentecostals...

20 Nov 2012 10:18 PM
Allen. The end.     
Jesus is the answer.

Of course, the question is "why do bad things happen to good people?"

20 Nov 2012 10:20 PM
Kibbler     
Dead white Russian male, 42, seeks dumpster for fun and decomposition.

NO TREE SHREDDERS PLEASE.

20 Nov 2012 10:22 PM
Fesic     
The real question is, after three years dead would you want them to come back to life? Mmmm... brains.....

20 Nov 2012 10:27 PM
Coconutty     
Well, she didn't sacrifice a goat. It never works without that. What an amateur.

20 Nov 2012 10:29 PM
badspella     
mummified dead husband

/ redundant adjective is redundant
// redundant

20 Nov 2012 10:31 PM
Feral_and_Preposterous     
18 months = 3 years? WTF?

20 Nov 2012 10:34 PM
OriginalGamer     
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

20 Nov 2012 10:44 PM
Fano     
It will allow you to keep living on the Lawn at Uva for a while, though

20 Nov 2012 10:45 PM
skinink     

AverageAmericanGuy: She doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.


Why, she wouldn't even hurt a fly...

20 Nov 2012 10:59 PM
KarmicDisaster    [TotalFark]  
Do you have to put him in the oven for a while to get him to dry out like that?

20 Nov 2012 11:12 PM
Indypendy     

Feral_and_Preposterous: 18 months = 3 years? WTF?


Actually reading the article might clear up that little misconception you have going there.

20 Nov 2012 11:13 PM
Godscrack     
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size


Stop laughing. He looks pretty damn good for a mummy.

20 Nov 2012 11:14 PM
pciszek     
No one has mentioned Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" yet?

20 Nov 2012 11:16 PM
Digitalstrange     

Bedstead Polisher: May not?
So there's a chance... right?


Well yeah, as long as you are willing to accept a long commitment from an insanity plea as a win.......

20 Nov 2012 11:31 PM
Dimensio    [TotalFark]  
Someone in a position that this woman will accept as credible -- such as a Pentecostal minister or other church leader -- needs to sit down with her and explain to her, as gently as possible, that she cannot persuade God to resurrect her husband, because she just does not love God sufficiently.

20 Nov 2012 11:43 PM
Iceman_Cometh     

JasonOfOrillia: Did she have sex with him? I don't want that to happen but it could be part two of a trifecta.

Just sayin'


Well, he was stiff.

20 Nov 2012 11:58 PM
phrawgh     

Coconutty: Well, she didn't sacrifice a goat. It never works without that. What an amateur.


She could have at least tried a chicken
www.crooklynclan.netView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 12:02 AM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  
You get three days for a resurrection. After that, they're pretty much toast.

21 Nov 2012 12:10 AM
Benevolent Misanthrope    [TotalFark]  

Dimensio: Someone in a position that this woman will accept as credible -- such as a Pentecostal minister or other church leader -- needs to sit down with her and explain to her, as gently as possible, that she cannot persuade God to resurrect her husband, because she just does not love God sufficiently.


No, no, no - you never tell religious people things like that directly. If you do, they may give up and stop giving you money.

No, you imply that they don't love their god enough by telling them all the wonderful things that happen to people who do. And if they are desperate for something to happen, you tell them that praying and giving their tithe is absolutely essential to making it happen. Once you tie money into the equation, you're golden. And of they think their god requires it, they'll do anything. They've already suspended reason. It's really not that hard to make them suspend it just... that... little... bit... more.

Buncha servile f*ckwits.

21 Nov 2012 12:26 AM
Inhalien     
Yeah, I'd say give it 3 full days and then after that, man, they're gone.

21 Nov 2012 12:53 AM
LordOfThePings     
Shoulda duct taped him

www.tapearound.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 02:14 AM
abhorrent1     

AverageAmericanGuy: She doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.


But did she ever stop to think that maybe he didn't want to come back?

www3.images.coolspotters.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 06:44 AM
Felix_T_Cat     
John 11:39 '...Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh...'

/DRTFA

21 Nov 2012 09:54 AM
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