Hey ladies, I have something in my pants that causes involuntary muscle contractions and eventual incapacitation.

That's not how you perform "The Shocker" as far as I know.

Danger! Danger! High Voltage!
When we touch, When we kiss

Don't tase me, bro!

//no seriously, keep that thing away from me.

I swear, if I got arrested every time I pretended something was my penis...

Technically, he was arrested for doing this in public. If he'd been home, alone, in the shower, no charges would have been filed.

I mean, there would've been charges, but . . . never mind.

"When people would walk by he would shock it at them and would come as close as arm's reach from them and set the Taser off," according to the report. "He scared a few girls so much they crossed the street to get away."

I suspect the actual item involved was a stun gun and not a Taser.

the original

Whenever I touch her with it she goes into convulsions and tries to get away from me.

This is re-Volt-ing.

So a stoned/drunk guy pretended his taser was a penis by holding it at crotch level and discharging it at passers-by. I guess that's an improvement over the old days when a stoned/drunk guy would pretend his gun was a penis by holding it at crotch level and discharging it at passers-by.

/Still seems kind of dangerous.

Meredith Grayson Watson, of Hiawassee Avenue, got into an argument with his wife at the Roadhouse

roadhouse

What an electrifying personality. I bet he won't be checking on current events while he's in prison.

Would be funnier if he was pretending his penis was a taser.

Meh, would have been more interesting story if he had been drunk enough to hold it the wrong way while attempting this.

weird i got arrested for pretending my penis was a taser. I knew i shouldn't have tased those women in the face.

SuperChuck: Would be funnier if he was pretending his penis was a taser.

came here to say this.

NutWrench: "When people would walk by he would shock it at them and would come as close as arm's reach from them and set the Taser off," according to the report. "He scared a few girls so much they crossed the street to get away."

I suspect the actual item involved was a stun gun and not a Taser.

99% chance you are right, particularly given that he was setting it off while holding it out his pants. Why is every journalist and editor a clueless farking moron these days. Jesus F.

Don't morays me bro.

SuperChuck: Would be funnier if he was pretending his penis was a taser penis.

 

Get it on, tase my dong, get it on

He's a jeepster for your love.

The Roadhouse in Athens is my local watering hole when I'm home for the holidays. If his wife is a regular, I wonder if I would recognize her.

/Ameteur

Watt?

Sparkly!

I"m pretty sure most cops think the taser is a stand-in for their penis. That's why they're so quick to poke everyone with it without thinking of the consequences.

Singleballtheory: I swear, if I got arrested every time I pretended something was my penis...

Go on........

/something,something,freudian issues, something

Sooooooo.... he's not ac/dc, I take it?

 

// Hot like a tazed moth

NutWrench: "When people would walk by he would shock it at them and would come as close as arm's reach from them and set the Taser off," according to the report. "He scared a few girls so much they crossed the street to get away."

I suspect the actual item involved was a stun gun and not a Taser.

Came to say this, so thanks.

Also, where I come from, Meredith is a woman's name...

// "Boy Named 'Sue'"?

He got Hertzpes

shot in the dark but with a moniker like Meredith Grayson Watson someone never perspired in their life.

SuperChuck: Would be funnier if he was pretending his penis was a taser.

Actually, this is how I read the headline.