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   Add 1 pro-secession Facebook post from your brother with 2 cups of white wine in your dad, stir in gloating election year results by your sister and you've got yourself one of the most volatile family Thanksgiving dinner in years

21 Nov 2012 10:10 AM   |   8731 clicks   |   AZ Family
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Jae0o0     
Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.

21 Nov 2012 10:12 AM
WTF Indeed    [TotalFark]  
White people problems.

21 Nov 2012 10:12 AM
Your Zionist Leader     
I'm so glad my family doesn't go in for crap like this.

21 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Bring a bottle of this and drink liberally

roguecity.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 10:15 AM
tricycleracer     

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


It will be me and my hippie/outdoorsman uncle vs. the rest of the family. We'll just get drunk and make fun of Republican policies all day. I'm looking forward to it.

21 Nov 2012 10:16 AM
The Only Sane Man In Florida     
I guess I'm lucky that my Family mostly shares my political views, and that they aren't pro-secession, anti-obama-at-any-cost republicans.

21 Nov 2012 10:16 AM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Post this on their Facebook Pages.

imageshack.usView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 10:16 AM
Headso    [TotalFark]  
Pretty much everyone in my family either doesn't give a shiat about politics or is to the left of or somewhere around democrats, politics rarely come up other than the more gossipy/inside stuff.

21 Nov 2012 10:16 AM
Bleyo     
I had Thanksgiving last weekend because that was the only time we could all get together.

My dad is a retired military officer who thinks Islamic fundamentalists are going to invade and conquer the United States. My sister picks stocks for a Wall Street firm. My brother is a biology researcher. I'm a computer programmer.

It was an epic 2v2.

/stepmother thinks she's a druid, so she just got drunk and talked about fairies or something

21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
SkunkWerks     
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21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
david_gaithersburg     
Can't wait to spend the day with my in-laws. They keep a portrait of Stalin over the mantle.

21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
Johnny Swank     
I'm not saying shiat, other than pointing out that recent rule changes due to Obamacare are allowing me to purchase health insurance, along with hundreds of thousands of others (if asked, that is.)

21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
Publikwerks     
I face the same problems Jae, and my solution is 2 fold:

First off I remind them that nothing has changed since 2010, and that the world isn't going to end. The republicans will stop anything like Obamacare from passing(remember, they consider Obamacare to be a bad thing).

Secondly, if that doesn't work(and it usually doesn't) remind them that there are other things they need to worry about, and change the subject to sports or kids.

If that doesn't work, go nuclear. Pull out your smart phone and start gushing about your "Obama-phone".
Then talk up how Hamas is the victim and how Bengazi isn't a big deal.

21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
doubled99     
This is the true meaning of Thanksgiving. It's a time for families to gather together and fight.

21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


This is for sale: e Sweater Shop ( http://www.notyouraveragesweater.com/s hopping/pgm-more_information.php ?id=419)

www.notyouraveragesweater.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 10:19 AM
Seussie     
I'm lucky here. Everyone who'll be at dinner is on the same page, except my crazy tin-foil hat wearing brother, who's so far left he's right.

/but at least he can discuss in a civil manner.

21 Nov 2012 10:19 AM
trappedspirit     
You generally don't have anything to worry about from white wine drinking dads. Except maybe some drama.

21 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
Godscrack     
Wine on the table huh? You know they all drove drunk after their meal.

Where's the dui outrage? WHERE ARE THE BADGE-LICKERS?

21 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
doczoidberg     
This is why I don't understand why people bother with Thanksgiving.
It's just a pain in the arse, bunch of BS.

21 Nov 2012 10:21 AM
Jacobin     
Could not be worse than Bush v Gore with fat Tony and crew playing king maker

21 Nov 2012 10:21 AM
heavymetal     
Our two family traditions are being Democrats and Dallas Cowboys fans. So the only thing that will piss us off regarding Washington will be our beloved Cowboys getting beat by the Redskins.

21 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
david_gaithersburg     

doczoidberg: This is why I don't understand why people bother with Thanksgiving.
It's just a pain in the arse, bunch of BS.

.
Do everyone a favor then and stay home.

21 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
lohphat    [TotalFark]  
Any whiny butt-hurt loser at Thanksgiving can go sit at the kids' table and drink out of tiny Dixie cups and wait for their legitimate rape like the rest of them.

Wait...what?

21 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
Which is why I will be having a nice drama free thanksgiving this year at my house with good friends :)

21 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
bborchar     
My family doesn't even need politics to add drama to Thanksgiving...my idiot brother and his insufferable wife make sure every holiday is ruined. This year they aren't coming (they got mad over my parents not giving them money), but decided to still send insulting text messages to my sister and mother and refuse to let their kids come over for dinner. People are idiots if they let ideology get in the way of family...I'd take political banter over my brother and sil any day.

21 Nov 2012 10:23 AM
tricycleracer     

david_gaithersburg: doczoidberg: This is why I don't understand why people bother with Thanksgiving.
It's just a pain in the arse, bunch of BS.
.
Do everyone a favor then and stay home.


Yeah, biatch. More dark meat for me.

21 Nov 2012 10:23 AM
MFAWG     

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Don't go. That simple

21 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
gingerjet     
Not going home for Thanksgiving this year. I'll give my siblings and their in-laws a year to calm the fark down before I get near them and a keg.

21 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
tricycleracer     
content.internetvideoarchive.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
rufus-t-firefly     

Publikwerks: Pull out your smart phone and start gushing about your "Obama-phone".


See if you can find a ringtone of an "Obamaphone" version of the "Bananaphone" song. Then make sure you get a few phone calls during dinner.

21 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
Lydia_C     

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


I can't help much, since I'm in a similar boat. Sorry.

Though I can say that most of the family will probably try to avoid politics this holiday, I dread the presence of my step-niece's husband. He's a WND fan, loves to take any opportunity to spout crap, looking for affirmation. The trouble is that he's also got a mental disability (really - it's a formally diagnosed medical condition), so I can't say much to counter him without looking like I'm trying to score on the intellectually disabled. I may have to get up and leave the room if he starts in, for the sake of my own sanity.

21 Nov 2012 10:26 AM
vudutek    [TotalFark]  
This usually gets the ball rolling...
www.topatoco.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 10:26 AM
Publikwerks     
Say this for Grace for big effect:

"Oh Chocolate Jesus,

We have venerated you with 4 more years, and you have blessed us with socialism and Obama phones. Grent us the strength to continue to mooch off the job creators.

in Joe Biden's name,

Amen"

21 Nov 2012 10:26 AM
KhamanV     
We've already had our pre-Thanksgiving blow-up. Since my right-wing secessionist nut parents are ten hours away, I'll be spared dealing with them this week in person. We're still trying to decide Christmas, though, and familial guilt is a powerful rod. Honest to god, the way my health has been going from dealing with them, I'm leaning towards 'they can farking stew up there in the asshole of nowhere.'

21 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
tricycleracer     

rufus-t-firefly: Then make sure you get a few phone calls during dinner.


Just set a few alarms and use that ringtone as the alarm sound. "Excuse me, I have to take this. My case worker is getting me car payment-assistance and a free laptop. Thank God for that Obama!"

21 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
strangerreality     
You know all the pictures of the old bloated ladies crying on election night because Mittens lost? Yeah... that is my aunt in a nutshell. My uncle is also a retired stockbroker. They bought the "don't re-nig" bumper stickers and Rick Perry pledge rings (when he was relevant).
I actually chose to have a pescetarian Thanksgiving with my grandparents rather than dealing with that much butthurt and conspiracy theory banter.

21 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
Another Pretentious Nickname     
Politics is interesting and important. If we can't discuss it cordially and intelligently even among our own families, we are truly doomed.



So, yeah... we are truly doomed

21 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
david_gaithersburg     
My in-laws peel the skin off of the Turkey and throw it away, more proof that they are communist.

Now they let me have all of the skin, they are hoping I'll die of a heart attack. If they're happy then I'm happy.

21 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
Your Zionist Leader     

bborchar: My family doesn't even need politics to add drama to Thanksgiving...my idiot brother and his insufferable wife make sure every holiday is ruined. This year they aren't coming (they got mad over my parents not giving them money), but decided to still send insulting text messages to my sister and mother and refuse to let their kids come over for dinner. People are idiots if they let ideology get in the way of family...I'd take political banter over my brother and sil any day.


My two brother's wives are not allowed to be in the same room together they fight so bad. My oldest brother has three kids, and his wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. His stepdaughter is 17 and pregnant, his daughter is 13 and turning boy crazy. My SIL actually told my sister and I that we were prudes because we didn't think it was ok for a 13 year old to have their boyfriend spend the night in their room with the door closed.

21 Nov 2012 10:28 AM
dilettantegrrl     

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Know that there are many of us out there just like you. I don't know how to deal with this issue either (my neo-con dad is seriously scaring me lately) but I love my family and I remind them of that fact when things get too tense. Good luck and FSM help us all tomorrow.

21 Nov 2012 10:29 AM
pxlboy    [TotalFark]  

SkunkWerks: [www.8-bitcentral.com image 850x560]


It took me a second, but I recognize it now.

21 Nov 2012 10:30 AM
pxlboy    [TotalFark]  

tricycleracer: rufus-t-firefly: Then make sure you get a few phone calls during dinner.

Just set a few alarms and use that ringtone as the alarm sound. "Excuse me, I have to take this. My case worker is getting me car payment-assistance and a free laptop. Thank God for that Obama!"


ROFLMOAR

21 Nov 2012 10:32 AM
ringersol     
Jae0o0: "I can avoid politics. They cant."

What are you, 12? Avoid them. Ignore them. Dick around on your phone or tablet. Get drunk. Watch football. Talk to your aunt who won't shut up about her damn cats. Leave early. etc.

21 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
Dimensio     

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


You will be facing a difficult battle.

21 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
MayoSlather     
FTA: And now, it will all play out in person. In this family, the older generation is more liberal, the younger more conservative. So Andrew, a Republican, particularly expects friction with his aunt, Anne Brennan, 57.

How does this happen? If I had kids, I would feel I had failed as a parent, and failed to provide a proper education if they turned out to be Republicans.

21 Nov 2012 10:37 AM
Mad_Radhu     
Just change up the Thanksgiving prayer a bit:

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"

21 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
Grimlock2099     
My family is mostly conservative but we respect each other regardless of opinion and political stances. We rib each other a bit, but it's all rather harmless (same goes for religion - I'm the only atheistand "librul" as far as I know).

A few weeks before the election my Aunt (a staunch Republican Christian) was giving me crap about the President when I first arrived at a big family get-together. I laughed it off, but later that evening as we sat down for dinner, she looked over at me and asked (as she has for years) if I wanted to say the prayer. I usually politely decline, but this time I said sure. I closed my eyes , bowed my head and said "O' Mormon Jesus, please bless this bountiful meal and bless Joseph Smith who brought Your true word to the world on golden plates given to him by a talking bear. Bless Mitt Romney so that he will become President and lead our nation to properity and Mormonism so that we will get our own planets when we die and become the gods of those planets and populate those planets with our kids. In Your name Mormon Jesus, amen."

I looked up and everyone was staring at me, then started laughing and clapping with the exception of my Aunt who just smiled and said "can someone do a REAL prayer now?".

21 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
suthrnrunt     

Seussie: I'm lucky here. Everyone who'll be at dinner is on the same page, except my crazy tin-foil hat wearing brother, who's so far left he's right.

/but at least he can discuss in a civil manner.


HA! this is my family.. my brother... while he may not wear tinfoil, he saves his nail clippings in a jar in his closet and believes sarah palin would have been our savior..... OH!!! he also keeps his wisdom teeth that he got taken out at the ripe age of 19 (note: he's 41) in a napkin in his jacket pocket. carries them around with him 24x7

21 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
sgleason818     
' "The proper term is more, dissentious," he says'

No it isn't.

21 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
lohphat    [TotalFark]  

Your Zionist Leader: bborchar: My family doesn't even need politics to add drama to Thanksgiving...my idiot brother and his insufferable wife make sure every holiday is ruined. This year they aren't coming (they got mad over my parents not giving them money), but decided to still send insulting text messages to my sister and mother and refuse to let their kids come over for dinner. People are idiots if they let ideology get in the way of family...I'd take political banter over my brother and sil any day.

My two brother's wives are not allowed to be in the same room together they fight so bad. My oldest brother has three kids, and his wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. His stepdaughter is 17 and pregnant, his daughter is 13 and turning boy crazy. My SIL actually told my sister and I that we were prudes because we didn't think it was ok for a 13 year old to have their boyfriend spend the night in their room with the door closed.


Can she make butter and sketti?

21 Nov 2012 10:39 AM
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