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   Hard hitting journalism or turkey boning? "How Thanksgiving smells can affect your sex life"

21 Nov 2012 11:58 AM   |   2838 clicks   |   Omaha World Herald
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OregonVet    [TotalFark]  
What makes me totally crazy is the persistent pressure to reinvent a wheel that has been going around quite nicely for more than 200 years.

Cry me a fricken river.

21 Nov 2012 08:15 AM
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Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
Based on how every woman in my office loses her mind when the pumpkin coffee and donuts and candles come out I'm thinking Old Spice should actually be Pumpkin Pie Spice and come with a tube of ointment to treat overabraded dong.

21 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
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pissedoffmick    [TotalFark]  
Read it as "Turkey Bonging".

21 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
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brap    [TotalFark]  
Talk turkey to me.

21 Nov 2012 10:04 AM
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mahuika     

OregonVet: What makes me totally crazy is the persistent pressure to reinvent a wheel that has been going around quite nicely for more than 200 years.

Cry me a fricken river.


I think you're in the wrong thread.

21 Nov 2012 10:21 AM
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doyner    [TotalFark]  
All I know is that nothing is as satisfying as a Quim Brule'.

21 Nov 2012 11:10 AM
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dj_spanmaster     
Turkey boning? It happens more often than you'd think

21 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
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ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  
Turkey Boning

i539.photobucket.com 

4.bp.blogspot.com

21 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
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spentmiles     
The post Thanksgiving dinner blumpkin is the year's finest.

21 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
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darth_badger     

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Based on how every woman in my office loses her mind when the pumpkin coffee and donuts and candles come out I'm thinking Old Spice should actually be Pumpkin Pie Spice and come with a tube of ointment to treat overabraded dong.


The seasonal food smells should also increase the output of a womans salivary glands also. Make sure to put all that good slobber to use and your dong should be fine.

21 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Pumpkin pie may be your husband's favorite dessert, but it could very well be his favorite scent as well.

That's not the kind of pie that turns me on. Just sayin'

21 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
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tarheel07     
I prefer citrus smells.

21 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
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Orgasmatron138     
"You ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

-George Carlin

21 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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NutWrench    [TotalFark]  
Turkey reminds me of Grandma's house.
And that does NOT give me a boner.

/usually.

21 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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darth_badger     
I invented a sex act called "Thanksgivin' Gobble". It's a great way to use your leftovers.

21 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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66dude     
Keep f*cking that chicken turkey.

21 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
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Notabunny    [TotalFark]  
fta While I wouldn't urge women to bathe in pumpkin pie filling or put lavender sheets in their clothes on Thanksgiving Day, I would caution that the smell of a pumpkin pie baking in the oven may result in an unexpected "break" during your Thanksgiving dinner preparations.

We have kids. The only unexpected "break" we get is when one of them knocks something over. That said, I always take off work the day before Thanksgiving so I can get my baking done. I have 4 mini loaves of pumpkin bread in the oven right now. I did my pie crusts last night (both pastry and crumbly spice) and have the ingredients on the counter to start making the apple and pecan fillings. I have apple cider going in the crock pot. The house smells wonderful, but i guarantee the rug rats won't allow me and Mrs Bunny any "break" time.

21 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
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LeroyBourne     
So I should somehow put the left-overs into play in my playbook? I'm down, if she is, that is.

21 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
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angry_scientist     
Baby, I just put the pumpkin pie in the oven, now how do you like your stuffing?

WHAP! POW!

(proceed to her parents house to play hours of boardgames)

Fin.

/damn you Brier Jirkin!

21 Nov 2012 12:16 PM
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CygnusDarius     

doyner: All I know is that nothing is as satisfying as a Quim Brule'.


I see what you did there.

21 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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Ambitwistor     
I went to a Thanskgiving-themed cooking class where the chef couldn't stop talking about his stiff boner.

21 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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Nurglitch     
And by "unexpected break", you mean your husband savagely boning the pumpkin pie on the counter-top?

21 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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Harry Freakstorm    [TotalFark]  
upload.wikimedia.org

Gobble Gobble

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Lesbians don't work that way! 

/at least the lesbian I bearded for didn't

21 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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Prison-Sex     
DRTFA, but both of my kids were conceived on Thanksgiving day/weekend 3 years apart.

Must have been the gravy :)

21 Nov 2012 12:20 PM
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The My Little Pony Killer     
Yes, Thanksgiving, that time of year when the entire family is all crammed into one home an in each other's business because they haven't seen one another in a while.

Yup, that's the perfect day to get frisky with my sweetie.

21 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
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uncleacid     
I wish to get laid.

www.rspb.org.uk

21 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
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Rhypskallion     
Allergic to turkey. Thanksgiving is not pleasant. Not quite hell, anymore, but...

/me ready to support the war on Thanksgiving.

21 Nov 2012 12:42 PM
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Resident Muslim     

Rhypskallion: Allergic to turkey. Thanksgiving is not pleasant. Not quite hell, anymore, but...

/me ready to support the war on Thanksgiving.


MUDD or mIRC?


/lawn, etc.

21 Nov 2012 12:56 PM
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greenboy     
I will be too full and hung over to have any sex. I'll give it the old college try, though. it will probably be with myself. Won't it be embarrassing if i fall asleep mid act?

//dnrtfa

21 Nov 2012 01:09 PM
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TV's Vinnie     
img.timeinc.net
"Have you ever noticed that you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

21 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
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Scrounger     
i201.photobucket.com

HOT

21 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
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Clemkadidlefark     
Turkey does not get my motor running. Nor my beloved's.

Pheromones and liquor, now that's a different story.

21 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
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exparrot     
'Round these here parts, it's the chickens we fark!

/runs back to the politics tab

21 Nov 2012 02:09 PM
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Antagonism     
cdn.uproxx.com

Heisenberg?

21 Nov 2012 06:47 PM
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