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   Food critics really, really hate Thanksgiving. You know, that one time of the year when we eat food that tastes good and don't worry about how it's made, how many calories it has, or how hipster it is

21 Nov 2012 11:55 AM   |   6506 clicks   |   Slate
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

21 Nov 2012 08:39 AM
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Jackson Herring     
Shut the fark up about hipsters

21 Nov 2012 08:50 AM
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sigdiamond2000    [TotalFark]  
The author is agreeing with you, fatmitter.

21 Nov 2012 09:09 AM
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kxs401    [TotalFark]  
The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.

21 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
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Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.

21 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
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Generation_D    [TotalFark]  

kxs401: The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.


yeop.

who even thinks about a food critic. Oh, someone else that wished they could have been a food critic.

21 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
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God Is My Co-Pirate    [TotalFark]  
One time of year?

21 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
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sigdiamond2000    [TotalFark]  
I detect a strong whiff of loneliness and despair emanating from these "hipster" headlines. I can't help but think there's a wounded little boy behind all of them.

21 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
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Man On A Mission    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


I think "hipster" would be a good choice.

21 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


Ironic and Successful Unemployed Americans?

21 Nov 2012 09:37 AM
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brap    [TotalFark]  
Cry me a river Yankee swine, Ramadan is no picnic either.
 
- Mohammad "Wildman" Fieri.  Food critic.

21 Nov 2012 10:09 AM
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mahuika     
dustinland.com

21 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
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Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
That's why I only serve Maize ironically while dressed as Squanto. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go help buckle some hats.

21 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's why I only serve Maize ironically while dressed as Squanto. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go help buckle some hats.


You know? I always wanted venison on Thanksgiving. Too bad I don't know any hunters at the moment. And the deer here in FL are shiat compared to the ones we bagged in NJ.

21 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
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tallguywithglasseson    [TotalFark]  

Jackson Herring: Shut the fark up about hipsters


sigdiamond2000: The author is agreeing with you, fatmitter.


kxs401: The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.


Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


sigdiamond2000: I detect a strong whiff of loneliness and despair emanating from these "hipster" headlines. I can't help but think there's a wounded little boy behind all of them.


All of these things.

21 Nov 2012 10:43 AM
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Krieghund     
What I don't get is that the one meal of the year we most want to be impressive is food that most of us only cook that one time of the year.

/if you want something to be good, PRACTICE!

21 Nov 2012 10:46 AM
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azmoviez    [TotalFark]  
On topic, I don't get to cook this year but I wanted to dry brine, spatchcock my turkey after reading a technique on Serious Eats. Of course I know my family would freak out because the turkey didn't look like a Norman Rockwell painting. If a dish is universally accepted as perfect than I can see not messing with it or trying a second version. I can't see why tradition should be slavishly followed on a holiday that is all about food.

21 Nov 2012 10:52 AM
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Dr Dreidel    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


Pretentious douchewaffle?

21 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
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HotWingConspiracy    [TotalFark]  
I've got friends that wanted to go all Brooklyn on Thanksgiving, but I held the line. I get to do a whole turkey once a year, isn't that hipster enough?

The sides should be amazing though.

21 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
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Orgasmatron138     
Only hipsters complain about hipsters.

Also, "that one time of the year" ???? Really? Judging by how fat America is, that's every freakin day.

21 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
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doubled99     
Pretentious farks with idiotic affectations. That's as good a description as any I've heard. And yes,there are lots of them. Most of them don't understand what we're talking about either.

21 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
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rev. dave     
I consider myself able to easily tell which food is good and which is not just by smelling it. I am much more critical of restaurant food than most professional critics. Thanksgiving is my favorite day of the year. But this year I am staying home and making garlic mashed red potatoes with green beans and chips and salsa. Too lazy to cook anything else.

21 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
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TheOther     
My dick was into mash potatoes before it got all mainstream.

21 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
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CygnusDarius     

Orgasmatron138: Only hipsters complain about hipsters.

Also, "that one time of the year" ???? Really? Judging by how fat America is, that's every freakin day.


No no no no no. Thanksgiving is all about turkey, gravy and pie.

Christmas is all about turkey, gravy, pie, and candy

St. Valentines is all about candy.

4th of July is all about BBQ, gravy, booze, and candy

Halloween is all about candy and pie.

21 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
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mike_d85     

Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.


Libby's out of the can?

21 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
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Texas Method     
Memester

21 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
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Prank Monkey     
I am seriously considering laying off the booze this year in order to stuff more food in my face hole. This plan could be derailed by how my family behaves meeting the girlfriend's family for the first time.

21 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
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Olfin Bedwere     

Diogenes: Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.

Ironic and Successful Unemployed Americans?


I like it. Maybe called them "isuans" for short.

21 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
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Antimatter     

Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.


So what, a pumpkin shell with pie dough bakes in the middle of it?

21 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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Cold_Sassy     

mike_d85: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

Libby's out of the can?


I hate to admit it, but I think that recipe makes the best pumpkin pie evar.

NOT the precanned mix. Use the solid pack and do a little work for chrissake!

21 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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CygnusDarius     
Honestly, enjoy the dinner. Hell, the country is in bad shape, but it could be worse. You could be living either in Israel or Palestine right now.

Just enjoy that one day. Even if you're alone.

/honest thoughts

21 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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mike_d85     

CygnusDarius: Orgasmatron138: Only hipsters complain about hipsters.

Also, "that one time of the year" ???? Really? Judging by how fat America is, that's every freakin day.

No no no no no. Thanksgiving is all about turkey, gravy and pie.

Christmas is all about turkey, gravy, pie, and candy

St. Valentines is all about candy.

4th of July is all about BBQ, gravy, booze, and candy

Halloween is all about candy and pie.


I would like to know about this 4th of July candy and Halloween pie please.

Perhaps in newsletter form.

21 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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thecpt     

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


or the words entitled or attention-whore. That would be nice.

/called people hipsters before it was cool

21 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
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Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo     
Hipster Thanksgiving is Swanson's turkey pot pie on a TV tray in front of the fire

21 Nov 2012 12:16 PM
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mike_d85     

Cold_Sassy: mike_d85: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

Libby's out of the can?

I hate to admit it, but I think that recipe makes the best pumpkin pie evar.

NOT the precanned mix. Use the solid pack and do a little work for chrissake!


Cut the sugar by about 1/3. That's the only alteration I made to that recipe that did any good.

21 Nov 2012 12:17 PM
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WillyChase     
How hipster my food is? My turkey wears a fedora and smokes a tobacco pipe. My cranberry sauce was raised by free range Indonesian picts. And my submitter needs to look up an obscure turn of phrase called 'beating a dead horse' it was coined by someone you've never heard of.

21 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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error 303     
The term "foodie" drives me crazy and I guess I don't really know why. It just seems such a pretentious and unnecessary phrase.

If I had to sit down for dinner with a group of hipsters or a group of foodies I'd probably opt for hipsters.

21 Nov 2012 12:19 PM
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zobear     
It's like redrawing the Kama Sutra when readers really only care about the missionary position.

They're doing it wrong.

21 Nov 2012 12:19 PM
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robbiex0r     

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


Sideshow Bobs?

21 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
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Cold_Sassy     

mike_d85: Cold_Sassy: mike_d85: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

Libby's out of the can?

I hate to admit it, but I think that recipe makes the best pumpkin pie evar.

NOT the precanned mix. Use the solid pack and do a little work for chrissake!

Cut the sugar by about 1/3. That's the only alteration I made to that recipe that did any good.


Eh, I'll try that next time; too late for this year ;)

21 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
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WordyGrrl     
Worst turkey I ever made was by using a brine recipe that a co-worker recommended. Sixteen ingredients for a damn brine, and the turkey tasted like oranges. Yuck. Too complicated for what's supposed to be a simple, traditional bird. Turkey should be moist and taste like turkey, dammit.

/Better brine: 1/4 salt, 1/2 cup sugar dissolved in enough water to cover the bird. Soak overnight in the fridge, and keep a pan of water in the oven with the bird.

21 Nov 2012 12:25 PM
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someguy945     

21 Nov 2012 12:29 PM
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Lexx     
Well, DUH Thanksgiving is boring to foodies and critics: it's all about tradition. *Current* Traditional Thanksgiving is what our grandparents were eating for Thanksgiving in the 50's-60's. You're not allowed to innovate. I mean hell, my family just about had a fit when my mom tried changing the pumpkin pie recipe to add some orange zest to the filling.

Thanksgiving ISN'T about culinary pleasure. It's about getting extended families who secretly hate eachother together at the same table, making everyone suffer through the same bland food, and then hoping against hope that no one brings up sex, politics, or religion at the table. THEN it's about drinking heavily when someone inevitably does.

21 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
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dustygrimp     

tallguywithglasseson: Jackson Herring: Shut the fark up about hipsters

sigdiamond2000: The author is agreeing with you, fatmitter.

kxs401: The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.

sigdiamond2000: I detect a strong whiff of loneliness and despair emanating from these "hipster" headlines. I can't help but think there's a wounded little boy behind all of them.

All of these things.


Pro-hipster backlash? Surprised it didn't come sooner, what with the insecurity that oozes from them.

21 Nov 2012 12:33 PM
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dustygrimp     

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Hipster Thanksgiving is Swanson's turkey pot pie on a TV tray in front of the fireoutside


FTFY

21 Nov 2012 12:36 PM
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I May Be Crazy But...     

Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.


The NY Times has that for you, too! (Recipe)

And it looks like an abomination that should not be allowed on this earth.

21 Nov 2012 12:37 PM
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amquelbettamin     
Jive turkey hipster douchenozzle asshat

griffinscott.files.wordpress.com

21 Nov 2012 12:39 PM
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Doubletwist-     

brap: Cry me a river Yankee swine, Ramadan is no picnic either.
 
- Mohammad "Wildman" Fieri.  Food critic.



Comment of the Year right there!

21 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
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The Face Of Oblivion     
I love the butthurt that hipster headlines bring out around here. Keep sobbing into the sleeves of your Cosby sweaters, guys!

21 Nov 2012 12:42 PM
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ciberido    [TotalFark]  

I May Be Crazy But...: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

The NY Times has that for you, too! (Recipe)

And it looks like an abomination that should not be allowed on this earth.


I prefer deconstructing French Cuisine.
3.bp.blogspot.com
/No smoking, please

21 Nov 2012 12:48 PM
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