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   Home invasion involves ____ people with ______. a) two, rifles. b) three, pistols. c) ten, machetes

21 Nov 2012 08:25 PM   |   5839 clicks   |   KSAT San Antonio
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Indubitably     
Twos?

21 Nov 2012 08:27 PM
chaosweaver     
Danny Trejo seen fleeing the scene.

21 Nov 2012 08:29 PM
phunkey_monkey     
Lets ban and regulate machetes! They are used by violent criminals.

21 Nov 2012 08:32 PM
MisterTweak    [TotalFark]  

Indubitably: Twos?


Texas? Dos, si, dos.

21 Nov 2012 08:33 PM
Indubitably     
To write

21 Nov 2012 08:34 PM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
I was told there would be no math.

21 Nov 2012 08:36 PM
Nina_Hartley's_Ass     
Sounds like a story a fourteen year old would make up.

21 Nov 2012 08:37 PM
remus     
This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15

21 Nov 2012 08:38 PM
ClavellBCMI    [TotalFark]  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I was told there would be no math.


The two main rules of FARK:

1) Whenever anyone tells you there will be no math, there will always be math.
2) AVOID THE POLITICS TAB!

21 Nov 2012 08:39 PM
Indubitably     

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Sounds like a story a fourteen year old would make up.


I did.

I called it Maniac on 54th Street, or some such street...

21 Nov 2012 08:39 PM
Qel     
Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg

21 Nov 2012 08:39 PM
Indubitably     

Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg


Nope, this is now.

21 Nov 2012 08:40 PM
ClavellBCMI    [TotalFark]  

Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg


Wait six weeks and it will be.

21 Nov 2012 08:41 PM
StoPPeRmobile     
San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.

21 Nov 2012 08:42 PM
StoPPeRmobile     
cinemaknifefight.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


/mmmmmm boobs
//boobs

21 Nov 2012 08:43 PM
ClavellBCMI    [TotalFark]  

StoPPeRmobile: San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.


Yes. If you are going to attack someone with a machete, the other guy should be nothing but shredded long pork.

21 Nov 2012 08:44 PM
KrispyKritter     
split the take they couldn't get Taco Bell.

/plan ahead, morans

21 Nov 2012 08:44 PM
Indubitably     

ClavellBCMI: Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg

Wait six weeks and it will be.


Comma error.

OK, I've had enough of this lazy habit. Commas are breaths not style. Please bring back the comma before a conjunction predicated by a statement. Thank you.

21 Nov 2012 08:45 PM
clyph     
Sounds like a bad joke:

How many hoodrats does it take to steal a playstation?

Ten, apparently.

Although I'll bet there was some other "property" that got stolen that didn't get reported to the police.

21 Nov 2012 08:48 PM
GopherGuts     
And my wife laughed at me when I bought a Saiga-12 and half a dozen 8-round magazines.

/actually, she was fine with it

21 Nov 2012 08:51 PM
vactech     
I haven't been machete shopping recently, but wouldn't a large group of people amassing an arsenal of 10 machetes kind of stand out?

I mean let's say they're planning this, and it turns out 5 of the 10 have machetes lying around. Do the other 5 go to the machete district down on east side of town and split up to the 3 or 4 stores that carry machetes (you know, so it doesn't seem suspicious)? Maybe, if they space out the purchases...?...

21 Nov 2012 08:54 PM
Pvt Joker     
collider.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 08:54 PM
Begoggle     

remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15


Great for when the home invaders give you a call beforehand to tell you what time they will be invading.

21 Nov 2012 08:55 PM
CygnusDarius     

remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15


What if they're machete-wielding ninjas?.

21 Nov 2012 08:55 PM
jafiwam     
{GunGrabberLibralDouche}
"Whine, but why do you need a rifle with a 30 round magazine?!?! Whine"
{/GunGrabberLiberalDouche}

21 Nov 2012 08:56 PM
Philbb    [TotalFark]  

KrispyKritter: split the take they couldn't get Taco Bell.

/plan ahead, morans


My first thought as well.

clyph: Sounds like a bad joke:

How many hoodrats does it take to steal a playstation?

Ten, apparently.

Although I'll bet there was some other "property" that got stolen that didn't get reported to the police.


I hope so. I mean petty theft is one thing, but ten people to steal a PlayStation and some TVs is just ridiculous.

21 Nov 2012 08:58 PM
Apos     
Mara Salvatrucha M.O.

21 Nov 2012 09:00 PM
remus     

Begoggle: remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15

Great for when the home invaders give you a call beforehand to tell you what time they will be invading.


Did you miss the "at all times" part of the sentence? Is reading comprehension an issue?

21 Nov 2012 09:00 PM
grimlock1972     
I need detail were there 10 machetes or did the ten guys pass one around?

21 Nov 2012 09:00 PM
veedeevadeevoodee     
chaosweaver:

Danny Trejo seen fleeing the scene.

Not as far-fetched as you may think

21 Nov 2012 09:02 PM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
d) black, watermelons

/runs

21 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
cannonman1863     
That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times

21 Nov 2012 09:07 PM
DrRatchet     

cannonman1863: That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times


This.

Well, not really because of this. But I do happen to have one within reach of my desk.

Because of reasons.

21 Nov 2012 09:09 PM
Porous Horace     
As I long as I've got fido and rover loaded with bees I think I'll be ok.

21 Nov 2012 09:12 PM
drjekel_mrhyde     

Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg


L&O CI with her adopted boys

21 Nov 2012 09:16 PM
adeist69     

DrRatchet: cannonman1863: That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times

This.

Well, not really because of this. But I do happen to have one within reach of my desk.

Because of reasons zombies.


FTFY


/Me too

21 Nov 2012 09:19 PM
Loucifer     
e. Mole, neuro whips.

21 Nov 2012 09:23 PM
aelat     
But remember, there's no reason a civilian would ever need an "assault-style" weapon.

21 Nov 2012 09:26 PM
Indubitably     

Loucifer: e. Mole, neuro whips.


*bow*

21 Nov 2012 09:27 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Loucifer: e. Mole, neuro whips.

*bow*

?


21 Nov 2012 09:28 PM
Thingster     
Machetes are effective, makes the other guy think you're a crazy motherfarker.

/csb
Guy flew around a corner as I pulled out of an alley, I laid on the horn. Fella stops, gets out of his car as he grabs a tire iron from behind his seat screaming about how he was "gonna fark you up!"

Get out of truck, grab machete from under the seat and turn around. Guy about shiats himself as he screams about how crazy of a motherfarker I am as he runs back to his car and how "I'll be ready fo youz next time!"

21 Nov 2012 09:30 PM
Indubitably     
To Machete

21 Nov 2012 09:32 PM
Nina_Hartley's_Ass     

21 Nov 2012 09:39 PM
spunkymunky     

ClavellBCMI: StoPPeRmobile: San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.

Yes. If you are going to attack someone with a machete, the other guy should be nothing but shredded long pork.


If they bought the Chinese made ones from their local Walmart I'm impressed that they did anything more than bruise the kid.
Everyone knows you don't buy Chinese unless a non Chinese first world country does QC (some Spyderco and Cold Steel blades, for example). Or Pakistani steel ever.

21 Nov 2012 09:42 PM
SanjiSasuke     
I'm sure many Dead-Eye Magoo Farkers on here would have coolly lit up the room and taken all 10 down without a single scratch. Being out numbered doesn't matter so long as you have enough bullets, amiright.

/a knife is more effective than a gun //10 big knives

21 Nov 2012 09:49 PM
The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men     
This happened to a guy I went to high school with, only it was during a Parent-Teacher evening.

21 Nov 2012 10:02 PM
Thingster     

SanjiSasuke: I'm sure many Dead-Eye Magoo Farkers on here would have coolly lit up the room and taken all 10 down without a single scratch. Being out numbered doesn't matter so long as you have enough bullets, amiright.

/a knife is more effective than a gun //10 big knives


7 yards. Run and turn drills.

Though 1st rule of a knife fight, you're gonna get cut.

21 Nov 2012 10:02 PM
Captain Steroid    [TotalFark]  
Machetes? Pfft! Amateurs...

i1231.photobucket.comView Full Size

21 Nov 2012 10:41 PM
Grave_Girl    [TotalFark]  

vactech: I haven't been machete shopping recently, but wouldn't a large group of people amassing an arsenal of 10 machetes kind of stand out?

I mean let's say they're planning this, and it turns out 5 of the 10 have machetes lying around. Do the other 5 go to the machete district down on east side of town and split up to the 3 or 4 stores that carry machetes (you know, so it doesn't seem suspicious)? Maybe, if they space out the purchases...?...


In a metro area with two million people? No, it won't be noticed. I'm pretty sure more than 10 people in this city have bought machetes today. Hopefully most of them are not planning home invasions.

21 Nov 2012 11:08 PM
Gaius     

fusillade762: d) black, watermelons

/runs


I was thinking black machetes

21 Nov 2012 11:09 PM
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