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   What can you make out of a used political sign, a tub of vaseline, PVC, duct tape, and a few dozen squirrels?

22 Nov 2012 03:39 AM   |   10844 clicks   |   Some Guy
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cretinbob    [TotalFark]  
A Republican sex toy?

22 Nov 2012 12:19 AM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Does the PVC pipe have a big enough diameter to insert a greased squirrel?

/this is important

22 Nov 2012 12:52 AM
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log_jammin     
daryl dixon?

22 Nov 2012 12:57 AM
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namatad    [TotalFark]  
seriously? no pictures?? what is wrong with these people

22 Nov 2012 02:47 AM
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AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
I can make a hat...

4.bp.blogspot.com

22 Nov 2012 03:47 AM
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lohphat    [TotalFark]  
A lasting relationship?

22 Nov 2012 03:54 AM
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Bottomfeeder     
Sweet, holy ratfark that was a boring article.

22 Nov 2012 03:58 AM
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othmar     
an "Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"?

22 Nov 2012 04:00 AM
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Abner Doon     

namatad: seriously? no pictures?? what is wrong with these people


Came here to say this.

Also, it's now a tree wrapped in ratty old campaign signs and duct tape, with branches held up with greased poles? That must look really great. I think I'd rather just buy some pecans, and have a tree that doesn't look like multicolored, greased shiat.

22 Nov 2012 04:02 AM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
a Romney-Go-Round?

22 Nov 2012 04:05 AM
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Yogimus     
How else is he gonna get the gerbil out?

22 Nov 2012 04:07 AM
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Thats No Moose     
A pretty good weekend in Dallas Vegas?

22 Nov 2012 04:09 AM
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Arcturus72     
Bullets are just as cheap, and if you're worried about missing, just get a decent caliber pellet rifle...

Oh, and get some good squirrel recipies also...

22 Nov 2012 04:12 AM
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Gyrfalcon     
I'm sure the inventive and witty minds here on Fark will come up with all kinds of things that Rule 34 never even imagined in its darkest nightmares.

22 Nov 2012 04:18 AM
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0z79    [TotalFark]  
DunwannaknowdunwannaknowdunwannaknowDU Nwannaknow....

Hey wait, this is Fark.. the more innocent the headline the worse the outcome, therefore..

*clicks*

YES! Theory proven correct! The more sick and twisted the headline, the more innocuous the content!

22 Nov 2012 04:19 AM
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starsrift     
I would've guessed Fark.com...

22 Nov 2012 04:24 AM
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Uglybarnacle     
a porno?

22 Nov 2012 04:43 AM
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EvilEgg    [TotalFark]  
Just get some hounds and some cats. The hounds won't catch them, but they will annoy them. The cats will kill them.

22 Nov 2012 04:48 AM
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Loucifer     
I could make a squirrel matrix. Whoa.

22 Nov 2012 05:15 AM
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Witty Comment     
One of the last things I wanted to read about after being up all night cleaning was some old dudes nuts.

Eff you, Fark. Eff you.

22 Nov 2012 06:08 AM
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ambercricket     
Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).

22 Nov 2012 06:37 AM
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Archie Goodwin     
Dammit! Stay outta my bedroom.

22 Nov 2012 06:59 AM
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perdu     
Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all of that stuff

22 Nov 2012 06:59 AM
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danno_to_infinity     

ambercricket: Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).


shiat, no coffee yet. accidentally hit the funny button when I wanted the quote button.

Is your canon in D Major like Pachelbel's?

22 Nov 2012 07:05 AM
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Loud_Mouth_Soup     
Sweet, sweet love?

22 Nov 2012 07:19 AM
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Alleyoop     
The PVC has to be just a little bigger...

www.moonbattery.com

22 Nov 2012 08:28 AM
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Balchinian     
FYI: Squirrels can not climb 4" PVC even without vaseline. Has to be 4" though, and you can't paint it. Just plain old PVC. I always put my birdfeeders on it, and they have never gotten into them since.

22 Nov 2012 08:35 AM
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Xenomech     
www.movieactors.com

"Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all this stuff."

22 Nov 2012 08:41 AM
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ka1axy     

ambercricket: Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).


Add some propane and you've got:

Squirrels in Space!!!

22 Nov 2012 08:54 AM
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diaphoresis     
I woulda used KY...

22 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
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Devolving_Spud     
a system of skirts and Vaseline-lathered poles

i.huffpost.com

"Go on..."

22 Nov 2012 09:31 AM
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Misch    [TotalFark]  
Around here, we call that "fun on a Friday night"

22 Nov 2012 09:31 AM
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digitalrain     
I dunno, but I bet Richard Gere is quivering in anticipation...

Oh wait...you said squirrels, not gerbils. Nevermind. Carry on.

22 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
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natas6.0    [TotalFark]  
squaids cannon?

22 Nov 2012 10:26 AM
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Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
All the signs, vaseline, and duct tape in the world won't make a fantastic squirrel stew.

Get a pellet gun instead, and you'll have dinner AND dessert, all from the same tree.

22 Nov 2012 10:31 AM
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zamboni    [TotalFark]  
I don't know... but I have the weirdest boner right now.

22 Nov 2012 10:42 AM
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Mixolydian Master     
Throw in some ecstasy tabs, and I would have the most amazing party that would land me on PETA's most wanted list.

/And Romney would be none too pleased with some of the instagrams I would upload of the party

//throw in some clogs, a football helmet and kerosene, yeah. Good times.

22 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
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Mixolydian Master     
image fail:

cdn.ebaumsworld.com

22 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
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wildcardjack     
All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

22 Nov 2012 11:43 AM
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Mael99     

cretinbob: A Republican sex toy?


Racist.

22 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
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Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

wildcardjack: All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!


A good pecan tree will yield up to 100 pounds of pecans. At $5 a pound for the meat. Call it what, $300 at 60% yield? Although I have no idea what one would do with 100 pounds of pecans. Probably crash the local pecan economy by giving them away to friends.

22 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
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Balchinian     

Marcus Aurelius: wildcardjack: All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

A good pecan tree will yield up to 100 pounds of pecans. At $5 a pound for the meat. Call it what, $300 at 60% yield? Although I have no idea what one would do with 100 pounds of pecans. Probably crash the local pecan economy by giving them away to friends.


A good pecan tree, perhaps. This one yielded 5 gallons of pecans according to the article. Hardly 100 pounds. Maybe half that I'd estimate. So call it $250 worth of pecans. Less $100 for the PVC and duct tape, and $75 for time and effort spent plus another $75 on materials, time, and effort expected to be spent on maintenence in the future, and your net gain is $0.

22 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
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Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

Balchinian: Marcus Aurelius: wildcardjack: All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

A good pecan tree will yield up to 100 pounds of pecans. At $5 a pound for the meat. Call it what, $300 at 60% yield? Although I have no idea what one would do with 100 pounds of pecans. Probably crash the local pecan economy by giving them away to friends.

A good pecan tree, perhaps. This one yielded 5 gallons of pecans according to the article. Hardly 100 pounds. Maybe half that I'd estimate. So call it $250 worth of pecans. Less $100 for the PVC and duct tape, and $75 for time and effort spent plus another $75 on materials, time, and effort expected to be spent on maintenence in the future, and your net gain is $0.


And you're still stuck with more pecans than I would eat in a year.

22 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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badgerb     

ka1axy: ambercricket: Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).

Add some propane and you've got:

Squirrels in Space!!!


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-N lDo

22 Nov 2012 01:03 PM
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badgerb     
Let's try this again

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-N lDo

22 Nov 2012 01:06 PM
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D2theMcV     
With this article being in my local paper, I'm getting a kick...

22 Nov 2012 02:54 PM
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Scrambled Zen     
Wait, wait, wait. Everyone's missing the most important point.

This guy found a woman in 21st Century America who bakes cookies. That's the headline right there.

22 Nov 2012 04:59 PM
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JonnyBGoode    [TotalFark]  
megwood.files.wordpress.com

Give me a minute. I'm thinking.

22 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
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brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
Ann Coulter?

No, wait. Somebody already said "Republican Sex Toy".

Squirrels!

22 Nov 2012 06:29 PM
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Gyrfalcon     
Amazing! I was right!

22 Nov 2012 07:06 PM
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