A Republican sex toy?

Does the PVC pipe have a big enough diameter to insert a greased squirrel?

/this is important

daryl dixon?

seriously? no pictures?? what is wrong with these people

I can make a hat...

A lasting relationship?

Sweet, holy ratfark that was a boring article.

an "Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"?

namatad: seriously? no pictures?? what is wrong with these people

Came here to say this.

Also, it's now a tree wrapped in ratty old campaign signs and duct tape, with branches held up with greased poles? That must look really great. I think I'd rather just buy some pecans, and have a tree that doesn't look like multicolored, greased shiat.

a Romney-Go-Round?

How else is he gonna get the gerbil out?

A pretty good weekend in Dallas Vegas?

Bullets are just as cheap, and if you're worried about missing, just get a decent caliber pellet rifle...

Oh, and get some good squirrel recipies also...

I'm sure the inventive and witty minds here on Fark will come up with all kinds of things that Rule 34 never even imagined in its darkest nightmares.

DunwannaknowdunwannaknowdunwannaknowDU Nwannaknow....

Hey wait, this is Fark.. the more innocent the headline the worse the outcome, therefore..

*clicks*

YES! Theory proven correct! The more sick and twisted the headline, the more innocuous the content!

I would've guessed Fark.com...

a porno?

Just get some hounds and some cats. The hounds won't catch them, but they will annoy them. The cats will kill them.

I could make a squirrel matrix. Whoa.

One of the last things I wanted to read about after being up all night cleaning was some old dudes nuts.

Eff you, Fark. Eff you.

Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).

Dammit! Stay outta my bedroom.

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all of that stuff

ambercricket: Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).

shiat, no coffee yet. accidentally hit the funny button when I wanted the quote button.

Is your canon in D Major like Pachelbel's?

Sweet, sweet love?

The PVC has to be just a little bigger...

FYI: Squirrels can not climb 4" PVC even without vaseline. Has to be 4" though, and you can't paint it. Just plain old PVC. I always put my birdfeeders on it, and they have never gotten into them since.

"Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all this stuff."

ambercricket: Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).

Add some propane and you've got:

Squirrels in Space!!!

I woulda used KY...

a system of skirts and Vaseline-lathered poles



"Go on..."

Around here, we call that "fun on a Friday night"

I dunno, but I bet Richard Gere is quivering in anticipation...

Oh wait...you said squirrels, not gerbils. Nevermind. Carry on.

squaids cannon?

All the signs, vaseline, and duct tape in the world won't make a fantastic squirrel stew.

Get a pellet gun instead, and you'll have dinner AND dessert, all from the same tree.

I don't know... but I have the weirdest boner right now.

Throw in some ecstasy tabs, and I would have the most amazing party that would land me on PETA's most wanted list.

/And Romney would be none too pleased with some of the instagrams I would upload of the party

//throw in some clogs, a football helmet and kerosene, yeah. Good times.

image fail:

All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

cretinbob: A Republican sex toy?

Racist.

wildcardjack: All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

A good pecan tree will yield up to 100 pounds of pecans. At $5 a pound for the meat. Call it what, $300 at 60% yield? Although I have no idea what one would do with 100 pounds of pecans. Probably crash the local pecan economy by giving them away to friends.

Marcus Aurelius: wildcardjack: All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

A good pecan tree will yield up to 100 pounds of pecans. At $5 a pound for the meat. Call it what, $300 at 60% yield? Although I have no idea what one would do with 100 pounds of pecans. Probably crash the local pecan economy by giving them away to friends.

A good pecan tree, perhaps. This one yielded 5 gallons of pecans according to the article. Hardly 100 pounds. Maybe half that I'd estimate. So call it $250 worth of pecans. Less $100 for the PVC and duct tape, and $75 for time and effort spent plus another $75 on materials, time, and effort expected to be spent on maintenence in the future, and your net gain is $0.

Balchinian: Marcus Aurelius: wildcardjack: All that work for $30 worth of pecans.

ECONOMICS FAIL!

A good pecan tree will yield up to 100 pounds of pecans. At $5 a pound for the meat. Call it what, $300 at 60% yield? Although I have no idea what one would do with 100 pounds of pecans. Probably crash the local pecan economy by giving them away to friends.

A good pecan tree, perhaps. This one yielded 5 gallons of pecans according to the article. Hardly 100 pounds. Maybe half that I'd estimate. So call it $250 worth of pecans. Less $100 for the PVC and duct tape, and $75 for time and effort spent plus another $75 on materials, time, and effort expected to be spent on maintenence in the future, and your net gain is $0.

And you're still stuck with more pecans than I would eat in a year.

ka1axy: ambercricket: Judging by the diameter of the PVC pipe I have out in the shop, I'm confident a greased squirrel could be easily inserted (after Macguyvering a simple canon from the used signage and duct tape).

Add some propane and you've got:

Squirrels in Space!!!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-N lDo

Let's try this again

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-N lDo

With this article being in my local paper, I'm getting a kick...

Wait, wait, wait. Everyone's missing the most important point.

This guy found a woman in 21st Century America who bakes cookies. That's the headline right there.

Give me a minute. I'm thinking.

Ann Coulter?

No, wait. Somebody already said "Republican Sex Toy".

Squirrels!

Amazing! I was right!