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   Scottish castle can be yours for as little as £220,000. Slightly used

22 Nov 2012 05:07 AM   |   15570 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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cretinbob    [TotalFark]  
That reminds me of a poem:

"Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed? I'm right on my uppers. I can pay you back when this postal order comes from Australia. Honestly. Hope the bladder trouble's getting better. Love, Ewan. "

22 Nov 2012 12:19 AM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
Will they allow you to install defensive weapons?

22 Nov 2012 01:19 AM
some_beer_drinker    [TotalFark]  
looks like it was hit by lightning during some sort of quickening.

/there can be only one

22 Nov 2012 01:20 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

22 Nov 2012 01:29 AM
RoyBatty     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

i.imgur.comView Full Size

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i.imgur.comView Full Size

22 Nov 2012 02:03 AM
Hetfield     

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 386x318]
[i.imgur.com image 379x267]
[i.imgur.com image 280x258]
[i.imgur.com image 416x350]


Hehe, nice. :)

22 Nov 2012 04:56 AM
Bomb Head Mohammed     
This is actually a higher quality building with better finish and amenity than you will get here in Cambridge, UK, for 5 times the price.

22 Nov 2012 05:11 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Does it come with tapestries?

I don't want a castle that doesn't have any authentic tapestries.

Tapestries make the castle.

22 Nov 2012 05:12 AM
Andromeda     
Whenever I see the castles from this era in Ireland/Scotland, basically a giant box with some great halls in them (the Blarney Castle of the stone fame is one), I always say a quiet thanks for the place and era I was born into. I mean geez, the richest guy in the area had to live there in the dark and cold with dozens of others, no electricity or plumbing, in conditions that these days are unheard of even for the poor.

Nothing like a piece of history to remind you you're better off than many lords and kings ever were...

22 Nov 2012 05:16 AM
othmar     
i will be there next Thursday with a check.

22 Nov 2012 05:18 AM
dyhchong     

othmar: i will be there next Thursday with a check.


Restore it to its original condition, arms, artillery, cavalry and all and take over the local lands.

22 Nov 2012 05:23 AM
dyhchong     
It's currently only 30 acres, but think of the potential! Could double or triple that within a year or two with the right direction.

22 Nov 2012 05:25 AM
Tentacle     
It's just a model

22 Nov 2012 05:27 AM
EdNortonsTwin     
Congrats Roy, you win two free internets!

22 Nov 2012 05:35 AM
Candygram4Mongo    [TotalFark]  

dyhchong: It's currently only 30 acres, but think of the potential! Could double or triple that within a year or two with the right direction.


Huuuuuuge... tracts of land!

22 Nov 2012 05:43 AM
Mr. Ekshun     
Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

/Contentious.

22 Nov 2012 06:00 AM
stuartp9     
If it had some water around it, I'd be interested..

img.skitch.comView Full Size

22 Nov 2012 06:01 AM
natas6.0     
The problem with some of these is that you are now responsible for upkeep and returning them to something less unsightly.
the good part is that titles are often transferred to the new owner,
and you can find them furnished...with modern conveniences like floor heating

-been looking at castles for some time, I like to dream big-

22 Nov 2012 06:11 AM
PandaPorn     
Reminds me of the east German castles that you could buy for $1 after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Only problem was you were obliged to pay for all outstanding maintenance, which could be several million.

22 Nov 2012 06:21 AM
abhorrent1     
may need a little work it might be just a matter of time before bidders can start planning banquets and parties.

[notsureifserious.jpg]

22 Nov 2012 06:26 AM
turboke     
Does it come with Karen Gillan?

22 Nov 2012 06:35 AM
Kibbler     
So the Daily Fail articles are now straight-up real estate ads?

22 Nov 2012 06:36 AM
DrPainMD     
Does it come with huge tracts of land?

22 Nov 2012 06:38 AM
johncb76006     
Buy it. Tear it down. Use the stone to build a real house.

22 Nov 2012 06:40 AM
generallyso     
Subby, you never say "used," it's always "well-loved."

22 Nov 2012 06:41 AM
gingerjet     

natas6.0: The problem with some of these is that you are now responsible for upkeep and returning them to something less unsightly.


The real problem is that you are now responsible for a thousand regulations and laws passed down over hundreds of years that you have no hope of ever repealing without over throwing the government.

22 Nov 2012 06:46 AM
gothelder     
If it comes with a ghost Liam Neeson and a live Jennifer Tilly it may be worth it.

22 Nov 2012 06:47 AM
Slaxl     

johncb76006: Buy it. Tear it down. Use the stone to build a real house.


No wonder the oldest building in America is 15 months old. Stop trying to destroy history.

gingerjet: natas6.0: The problem with some of these is that you are now responsible for upkeep and returning them to something less unsightly.

The real problem is that you are now responsible for a thousand regulations and laws passed down over hundreds of years that you have no hope of ever repealing without over throwing the government.


Yeah, to stop people tearing it down and using the stone to build a real house. Thank fark for that!

22 Nov 2012 06:50 AM
gingerjet     

Slaxl: Yeah, to stop people tearing it down and using the stone to build a real house. Thank fark for that!


To continue to support an economic model that caused it to fall into ruins in the first place. Thank fark for that!

22 Nov 2012 06:58 AM
talkertopc     

Andromeda: Whenever I see the castles from this era in Ireland/Scotland, basically a giant box with some great halls in them (the Blarney Castle of the stone fame is one), I always say a quiet thanks for the place and era I was born into. I mean geez, the richest guy in the area had to live there in the dark and cold with dozens of others, no electricity or plumbing, in conditions that these days are unheard of even for the poor.

Nothing like a piece of history to remind you you're better off than many lords and kings ever were...


On the plus side that was before rape and plunder gained a bad reputation and kings got to say thing like "bring her to my chamber" when seeing a comely wench in the village. "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." as I once read in a popular travel guide.

22 Nov 2012 07:02 AM
crumblecat     
"wants to take on the challenges of planning"

There's no UK planning permission to rebuild it and it's a UK listed building? The current owner uses it only for picnics and dog walking?

Glengarry & Glenross dude.

22 Nov 2012 07:04 AM
jimmyego    [TotalFark]  
Reminds me of my hometown. Behold the wonder of Bridgnorth castle:

i.imgur.comView Full Size

22 Nov 2012 07:15 AM
Doctor Jan Itor     
I think they are using the term "castle" very loosely.

"Pile of shaped rocks" seems more appropriate.

22 Nov 2012 07:18 AM
ghare     
Seems like a fairly good deal to me. Can't afford it right now though.

22 Nov 2012 07:26 AM
Outlawtsar     
Since no one has posted it yet, here's the location on Google.

/looks like the "burned down and sank into the swamp" part of Monty Python applies...

22 Nov 2012 07:40 AM
Joce678     

johncb76006: Buy it. Tear it down. Use the stone to build a real house.


"Listed building" means there's a massive list of regulations about what you're allowed to do with it (and the surrounding land).

IANAL but most likely you can't do anything unless it goes in the direction of making it more like the original castle. Even internal decoration will be restricted so you can't turn it into a high-tech mancave or anything like that.

22 Nov 2012 07:45 AM
stratagos     
If I buy it and then begin making pronouncements at the extreme end of the political spectrum that embarrass my party of choice, would that make me a True Scotsman?

22 Nov 2012 07:48 AM
dervish16108     

AverageAmericanGuy: Does it come with tapestries?

I don't want a castle that doesn't have any authentic tapestries.

Tapestries make the castle.


I want a castle with tapestries that were personally authenticated by Lord Clarence McDonald and his lovely assistant.

22 Nov 2012 08:00 AM
DON.MAC    [TotalFark]  
I have a friend who owns the ruines of a Scottish castle. It costs him something like £10,000 per year in useless costs that have nothing to do with upkeep or taxes.

This one seems to be about 5,000 sq feet per floor.

22 Nov 2012 08:00 AM
dervish16108     

DON.MAC: I have a friend who owns the ruines of a Scottish castle. It costs him something like £10,000 per year in useless costs that have nothing to do with upkeep or taxes.

This one seems to be about 5,000 sq feet per floor.


if the useless costs have nothing to do with upkeep or taxes, what are they used for exactly?

22 Nov 2012 08:01 AM
Slaxl     

dervish16108: AverageAmericanGuy: Does it come with tapestries?

I don't want a castle that doesn't have any authentic tapestries.

Tapestries make the castle.

I want a castle with tapestries that were personally authenticated by Lord Clarence McDonald and his lovely assistant.


This is a castle. And they have many tapestries. But if you're a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse.

22 Nov 2012 08:05 AM
Biff_Steel     
Faversham?

22 Nov 2012 08:11 AM
LewDux     

22 Nov 2012 08:17 AM
Ficoce     

Outlawtsar: Since no one has posted it yet, here's the location on Google.

/looks like the "burned down and sank into the swamp" part of Monty Python applies...


It looks like it might have had a moat a few hundred years ago - there is some potential here.

22 Nov 2012 08:20 AM
moothemagiccow     
that aint a bad price

22 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
Norfolking Chance     

Joce678: johncb76006: Buy it. Tear it down. Use the stone to build a real house.

"Listed building" means there's a massive list of regulations about what you're allowed to do with it (and the surrounding land).

IANAL but most likely you can't do anything unless it goes in the direction of making it more like the original castle. Even internal decoration will be restricted so you can't turn it into a high-tech mancave or anything like that.


It depends on the class or Grade of listing. A grade three building only has restrictions (above the normal planning laws) on changes to the outside of the building. Grade two is outside and big changes on the inside while grade one the building must be kept the same inside and out.

Lots of buildings are grade three but to get grade one it must be very old or very important. Even if the castle is grade one listed as its a wreck as long as you don't cut massive chunks out of the walls or tack on anything big or ugly you will have a resonable free hand with the planners.

Unless you piss of the locals, then they will make your life hell.

22 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
JohnCarter     
Knows a thing or two about ruined Scottish buildings

i.telegraph.co.ukView Full Size

22 Nov 2012 08:24 AM
DON.MAC    [TotalFark]  

dervish16108: DON.MAC: I have a friend who owns the ruines of a Scottish castle. It costs him something like £10,000 per year in useless costs that have nothing to do with upkeep or taxes.

This one seems to be about 5,000 sq feet per floor.

if the useless costs have nothing to do with upkeep or taxes, what are they used for exactly?


Things like filing fees and expenses to get someone to fill out a form saying that all painting was with heritage colors even though the building has never been painted at all. It is mostly stupid things like that.

22 Nov 2012 08:30 AM
NutWrench     
French Taunters not included . . .

22 Nov 2012 08:34 AM
Slaxl     

Ficoce: Outlawtsar: Since no one has posted it yet, here's the location on Google.

/looks like the "burned down and sank into the swamp" part of Monty Python applies...

It looks like it might have had a moat a few hundred years ago - there is some potential here.


How much did the Give Joe the Bird campaign raise? How much could we raise to make Fark Castle? With a Fark theme park, with squirrels with big nuts, and robots that try to troll passers by. Divide it up into "politics land", which is a swampy morass, geekland which is pristine and you have to wear a Tron uniform to enter, then all the others.

Stick a moat around it and we're good to go.

22 Nov 2012 08:36 AM
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