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   It's all fun and games until somebody loses a nipple

22 Nov 2012 04:27 AM   |   9910 clicks   |   Bay News 9
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Dafodude     
I've been reading Fark for almost 9 years now, and this is it.

This right here is the article that made me go, "Jesus, what the ever-loving F*CK?!!"

/Not surprised it's Florida, of course...

22 Nov 2012 12:59 AM
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Triumph    [TotalFark]  
I didn't know they were making them twist-off now. In the old days you needed a tool.

22 Nov 2012 01:46 AM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Holy farking....THE HELL?

22 Nov 2012 02:02 AM
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Two Dogs Farking    [TotalFark]  
Purple nurple, stage 5 - worse than even the dreaded Rear Admiral.

22 Nov 2012 02:15 AM
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L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
4.bp.blogspot.com

/one ticket please

22 Nov 2012 02:26 AM
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doglover     


Matheson was charged with child abuse and is being held at the Land O' Lakes Jail without bail.


If the other inmates fold him up, will his knees look like boobs?

22 Nov 2012 02:34 AM
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Nickster79    [TotalFark]  
"Doctors say it is unlikely the nipples will grow back."

I want to know if this is simply a hypothesis, or there have been some incredibly sick experiments and test cases to determine that it's not possible.

22 Nov 2012 03:27 AM
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doglover     

Nickster79: "Doctors say it is unlikely the nipples will grow back."

I want to know if this is simply a hypothesis, or there have been some incredibly sick experiments and test cases to determine that it's not possible.


Option B. It's called Rugby.

22 Nov 2012 04:19 AM
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Gyrfalcon     
This is now the number two most sickest story on Fark never to be mentioned again, right after the one you all know I'm referring to and I'm not going to mention it because it's so sick.

And I also want to know why for the love of god they felt the need to drop in the line about it being unlikely the nipples will grow back, unless it's to be absolutely sure this guy is beaten to death in jail tonight.

22 Nov 2012 04:36 AM
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Pwnchubr     
Insert Jeff Foxworthy joke here.

22 Nov 2012 04:36 AM
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cannonman1863     
"Matheson allegedly admitted to investigators he played rough with the boy. But Matheson said he didn't become aware of the injuries until hours later"

I'd like to know what kind of rough playing led to this happening. At the same time, I'm somewhat curious about him not noticing until hours later. I would imagine loosing a nipple or two might just cause a bit of bleeding.

22 Nov 2012 04:39 AM
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AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

Gyrfalcon: This is now the number two most sickest story on Fark never to be mentioned again, right after the one you all know I'm referring to and I'm not going to mention it because it's so sick.


Dad eats son's eyes?

22 Nov 2012 04:44 AM
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othmar     
and you know who else had this problem?

22 Nov 2012 04:46 AM
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autocobra     
He didn't yell UNCLE ,that's why ..

22 Nov 2012 04:48 AM
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Bonanza Jellybean     
"Daddy The Babysitter ate twisted off my eyes nipples."

22 Nov 2012 04:49 AM
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Kif_D     
>>If the other inmates fold him up, will his knees look like boobs?

ha! I get it!

22 Nov 2012 04:51 AM
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Phoenix_M     

doglover: Nickster79: "Doctors say it is unlikely the nipples will grow back."

I want to know if this is simply a hypothesis, or there have been some incredibly sick experiments and test cases to determine that it's not possible.

Option B. It's called Rugby.


The Nazis kept meticulous (medical experiment records), those records are used and studied in American medical schools and medical schools around the world to this day. It's one of those dirty little secrets we don't talk about.

22 Nov 2012 04:56 AM
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Omahawg     
I hope that guy is squealing like a pig as I type these very words.

22 Nov 2012 05:05 AM
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Acharne     

AverageAmericanGuy: Gyrfalcon: This is now the number two most sickest story on Fark never to be mentioned again, right after the one you all know I'm referring to and I'm not going to mention it because it's so sick.

Dad eats son's eyes?


"Daddy ate my eyes."

Jesus.

"Step-douche twisted my nipples off."

22 Nov 2012 05:08 AM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
www.exposay.com

22 Nov 2012 05:13 AM
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Amos Quito     

AverageAmericanGuy: Gyrfalcon: This is now the number two most sickest story on Fark never to be mentioned again, right after the one you all know I'm referring to and I'm not going to mention it because it's so sick.

Dad eats son's eyes?



I knew I should have left the thread after Gyrfalcon's post.

22 Nov 2012 05:13 AM
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tomo12144     
Matheson was charged with child abuse and is being held at the Land O' Lakes Jail without bail.

That should make a nice lube for him.

22 Nov 2012 05:18 AM
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

Dafodude: I've been reading Fark for almost 9 years now, and this is it.

This right here is the article that made me go, "Jesus, what the ever-loving F*CK?!!"

/Not surprised it's Florida, of course...


I didn't think there could be a worse story than the "Daddy ate my eyes" one, but this one is damned close.

22 Nov 2012 05:27 AM
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

tomo12144: Matheson was charged with child abuse and is being held at the Land O' Lakes Jail without bail.

That should make a nice lube for him.


He doesn't deserve lube.

22 Nov 2012 05:29 AM
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starlost    [TotalFark]  
Nickster79
The Nazis kept meticulous (medical experiment records), those records are used and studied in American medical schools and medical schools around the world to this day. It's one of those dirty little secrets we don't talk about.

when i was working in the mall in the late 80's i read a book in the bookstore during my lunch break about the experiments that was pretty graphic. limb amputation and reattachment attempts,cutting tendons, all kinds of cold water and hypothermia tests. farking with the brain, heart and major organs in all kinds of funky ways to simulate war injuries and ways to treat them. people hung on hooks while still alive. i'll stop now.

22 Nov 2012 05:43 AM
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Amos Quito     

starlost: Nickster79
The Nazis kept meticulous (medical experiment records), those records are used and studied in American medical schools and medical schools around the world to this day. It's one of those dirty little secrets we don't talk about.

when i was working in the mall in the late 80's i read a book in the bookstore during my lunch break about the experiments that was pretty graphic. limb amputation and reattachment attempts,cutting tendons, all kinds of cold water and hypothermia tests. farking with the brain, heart and major organs in all kinds of funky ways to simulate war injuries and ways to treat them. people hung on hooks while still alive. i'll stop now.



And the Japanese Unit 731:

"Between 3,000 and 12,000 men, women, and children[1][2][3]-from which around 600 every year were provided by the Kempeitai[4]-were murdered during the human experimentation conducted by Unit 731 at the camp based in Pingfang alone, which does not include victims from other medical experimentation sites.[5] Almost 70% of the victims who died in the Pingfang camp were Chinese, including both civilian and military.[6] Close to 30% of the victims were Russian.[7] Some others were South East Asians and Pacific Islanders, at the time colonies of the Empire of Japan, and a small number of the prisoners of war from the Allies of World War II[8] (although many more Allied POWs were victims of Unit 731 at other sites[1])."

"Many of the scientists involved in Unit 731 went on to prominent careers in post-war politics, academia, business, and medicine. Some were arrested by Soviet forces and tried at the Khabarovsk War Crime Trials; others surrendered to the American Forces. The reason they were not tried was that the information and experience gained in the studies of the biological warfare was of a great value for the United States biological weapons development program.[9] On 6 May 1947, Douglas MacArthur, as Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, wrote to Washington that "additional data, possibly some statements from Ishii probably can be obtained by informing Japanese involved that information will be retained in intelligence channels and will not be employed as 'War Crimes' evidence."[10] The deal was concluded in 1948."


/Sweet

22 Nov 2012 05:53 AM
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GungFu     
basementrejects.com 

W.T.F

22 Nov 2012 05:59 AM
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Coming on a Bicycle     

Dafodude: I've been reading Fark for almost 9 years now, and this is it.

This right here is the article that made me go, "Jesus, what the ever-loving F*CK?!!"

/Not surprised it's Florida, of course...


Well what about daddy ate my eyes then? Sheees.

22 Nov 2012 06:24 AM
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GreenSun     
Just glue them back on or put one of those nip-tapes on top of them like how some tv shows do it to circumvent the anti-nipple law on tv whenever they try to show a boob or two.

Hmm I wonder what nicknames he will get while growing up.

Nipless
Nonipboy
Twisted
Nippy The Kid
Two-Bit-Nothings
Nipped But Untucked
Raisinless

22 Nov 2012 06:40 AM
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Son of Thunder     
Ah geez. Saw the headline and came to make a Jeff Foxworthy joke. Then I RTFA.

No jokes now. Somebody in Florida please beat this man senseless. Often.

22 Nov 2012 06:43 AM
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DrPainMD     

starlost: Nickster79
The Nazis kept meticulous (medical experiment records), those records are used and studied in American medical schools and medical schools around the world to this day. It's one of those dirty little secrets we don't talk about.

when i was working in the mall in the late 80's i read a book in the bookstore during my lunch break about the experiments that was pretty graphic. limb amputation and reattachment attempts,cutting tendons, all kinds of cold water and hypothermia tests. farking with the brain, heart and major organs in all kinds of funky ways to simulate war injuries and ways to treat them. people hung on hooks while still alive. i'll stop now.


And after the war the OSS smuggled many of the most evil Nazis out of Germany. Why? So that they could learn from them. The CIA is nothing more than the continuation of the most evil aspects of Nazi Germany.

22 Nov 2012 06:51 AM
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Archie Goodwin     
I'm not a fan of the Saw movies, but for this guy it would be an appropriate way to go.

22 Nov 2012 06:58 AM
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jedikinkoid     

cannonman1863: "Matheson allegedly admitted to investigators he played rough with the boy. But Matheson said he didn't become aware of the injuries until hours later"

I'd like to know what kind of rough playing led to this happening. At the same time, I'm somewhat curious about him not noticing until hours later. I would imagine loosing a nipple or two might just cause a bit of bleeding.


Ditto. Not to mention that it's really hard for me to imagine anyone being able to apply the kind of force and traction necessary to literally rip flesh off someone's body with their bare hands.

22 Nov 2012 07:32 AM
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EVERYBODY PANIC     
Ah yes. My hometown.

Why do you all mock our local customs and traditions?

It's just a nipple circumcison. Nothing to see here. Anymore.

22 Nov 2012 07:45 AM
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The Mind Boggles    [TotalFark]  

EVERYBODY PANIC: Ah yes. My hometown.

Why do you all mock our local customs and traditions?

It's just a nipple circumcison. Nothing to see here. Anymore.


goddamnitsomuch for making me laugh. the steptorturefarker should be flayed, coated in honey, and left on an ant hill.

22 Nov 2012 07:56 AM
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Oblio13     
Having twisted some nipples pretty hard in my day, I have to marvel that this can even be done. Twice, no less.

22 Nov 2012 08:08 AM
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Zoomaster     
www.eventimagecenter.com

22 Nov 2012 09:02 AM
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Valiente     

Phoenix_M: doglover: Nickster79: "Doctors say it is unlikely the nipples will grow back."

I want to know if this is simply a hypothesis, or there have been some incredibly sick experiments and test cases to determine that it's not possible.

Option B. It's called Rugby.

The Nazis kept meticulous (medical experiment records), those records are used and studied in American medical schools and medical schools around the world to this day. It's one of those dirty little secrets we don't talk about.


Oh, yes, we do. People who need to do Search and Rescue, along with long-distance sailors on small boats, oil rig workers and professional mariners are generally aware that the foundational research in hypothermia (and consequently, ways to avoid it when dunked in cold water) was done by the Nazis on their concentration camp prisoners, who didn't get a vote. The Nazis, of course, were interested in making the odds better for their U-Boat crews on the frosty Atlantic, and didn't mind running through a few hundred Jews, Soviets and other undesirables in the process.

The victims of the Nazis are dead, and they died very unpleasantly. It's a done deal and can't be reversed.

You can honour their otherwise cruel and futile deaths by using the data the Nazis collected or not. I know there are a few scientists who are willing to step into icewater covered in sensors, but there isn't exactly a long line for that task, and yet it's the only way we can really know how long people can last in cold water, and what materials used in what designs will best avoid that particular form of death.

The particular form of death I wish on this child-mutilating nutcase, however, is considerably more lingering than hypothermia.

22 Nov 2012 10:05 AM
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Molavian    [TotalFark]  
Some people just need killin'.

22 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
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AbiNormal     
I know where we can send this guy.
www.prisonflicks.com

/Does Turkey owe us a favor?

22 Nov 2012 10:58 AM
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Aulus    [TotalFark]  
When I was in college at Florida State, there was a co-ed at FAMU I dated a few times. Once, she told me about ne of her friends who had a worse experience. The friend was dating a guy who had a reputation for very rough sex and Cheryl, my date, had warned her about the guy, but the friend refused to believe her. He finally got her to have sex one night and she found out Cheryl had been right to warn her. As part of "foreplay", he bit off one of her nipples.

22 Nov 2012 11:00 AM
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stuffy     
Matheson allegedly admitted to investigators he played rough with the boy. But Matheson said he didn't become aware of the injuries until hours later when the toddler's grandmother came home and called the Pasco County Sheriff's Office.

Hint: When body parts come off, you've gone to far.

22 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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More_Like_A_Stain     

The Mind Boggles: EVERYBODY PANIC: Ah yes. My hometown.

Why do you all mock our local customs and traditions?

It's just a nipple circumcison. Nothing to see here. Anymore.

goddamnitsomuch for making me laugh. the steptorturefarker should be flayed, coated in honey, and left on an ant hill.


Just an average Tuesday in Moon Lake.

22 Nov 2012 01:35 PM
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  

Aulus: When I was in college at Florida State, there was a co-ed at FAMU I dated a few times. Once, she told me about ne of her friends who had a worse experience. The friend was dating a guy who had a reputation for very rough sex and Cheryl, my date, had warned her about the guy, but the friend refused to believe her. He finally got her to have sex one night and she found out Cheryl had been right to warn her. As part of "foreplay", he bit off one of her nipples.


You call that "worse?" This two year-old lost BOTH nipples and didn't even cum!

22 Nov 2012 03:05 PM
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wademh     
Next time somebody thinks their silly little story merits an Arizona tag, or a Kansas tag or whereever, link them to this story.

22 Nov 2012 04:47 PM
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Hop-Frog     
EPIC titty twister!

Cringeworthy.

22 Nov 2012 11:30 PM
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