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   Bad news for Farkers: turns out we're all going to die young

22 Nov 2012 01:49 PM   |   10702 clicks   |   Gawker
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Indolent    [TotalFark]  
Only the good die young.

22 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
gopher321    [TotalFark]  
I've been called many things in my life, but "weak" has never been one of them.

22 Nov 2012 01:23 PM
BizarreMan    [TotalFark]  
Too late.

22 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
Omahawg     
come on, virginia, don't be late
you catholic girls don't have to wait

so bie
eip

before I die

22 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
MFAWG    [TotalFark]  

Indolent: Only the good die young.




From when he was great.

Link

22 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
BarkingUnicorn     
LOL! What's the Weenerser's Fark handle?

Blanksheet: "You will die, alone and unloved, the flesh of your body withering away, your mind falling into a babbling and painful state of incoherence, your memory haunted by your carefree youth, your soul turning black and bile, forevermore corrupted by this barbaric world and the awful time you spent in it. No one will mourn you for they will have already died, as will shortly the maggots that eat your heart.

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

22 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
Britney Spear's Speculum     
i don't want to go on the cart

22 Nov 2012 01:54 PM
Beerguy    [TotalFark]  
That is good news for me, I was benching 100 lbs over my body weight in High School.

22 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
GBB     

Indolent: Only the good die young.


....of a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack?

22 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
anarchy_x     
thegabrielfloydsound.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

They tried to tell us.... (hot like lunch wagon tamales)

22 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
TomD9938     
FTA ; The study... found that men who, as teenagers, had... a stronger grip... had a 20-35% lower risk of early death from any cause.

I'd put my lowered risk of early death at 10-17.5% then.

22 Nov 2012 01:58 PM
zulius     
Thankfully, i beat that system...
/5'10" 125 most my life...
//then, dropped 10lbs thanks to disease ..
///took it upon myself to bulk...
////10 years later, 175...

22 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
CygnusDarius     
Will I leave a handsome corpse?.

22 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
corronchilejano     
But... I'm getting better.

22 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
Sgygus    [TotalFark]  
Playing computer games is an activity, right?

22 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
SovietCanuckistan     
What about us kids who were fat? I mean, HUSKY as my lovely Mom would say...

22 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
Byno     
www.videoletras.netView Full Size

22 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
So say Billy Joel and Dion DiMucci.

22 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
DownDaRiver     
I'm watching Pennsyvania Polka right now

Death can't come soon enough

22 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
unicron702     
I'm a geek, was a skinny teenager, skinny now. Currently a server admin by trade. When our facilities guy needs to put in new door crash bars or replace the internal batteries in our UPC'S he comes to me for help because all the other employees are fat bastards with bad backs I laugh. I'm the skinniest guy in the building, but I'm called for physical labor because I wont have back spasms lifting something.

22 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
Dumb-Ass-Monkey     
this explains my faulty ticker...

22 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
WTF_Are_You_Looking_At     
Phew! I was scared for a second there.
I thought they were going to say that a daily large amount of alcohol, instant coffee and Pizza Pops is gonna shorten my life.

I'm safe!

22 Nov 2012 02:10 PM
arbitterm     
This is probably because if you were skinny and unhealthy in school, you probably stayed that way. I imagine if those studied had changed their diet and began working out they would have lived longer. The results here seem to say " stay healthy, live longer.

22 Nov 2012 02:10 PM
steamingpile     

arbitterm: This is probably because if you were skinny and unhealthy in school, you probably stayed that way. I imagine if those studied had changed their diet and began working out they would have lived longer. The results here seem to say " stay healthy, live longer.


I think they mean you didnt develop properly, not that you had a bad diet.

22 Nov 2012 02:12 PM
you are a puppet     

Byno: [www.videoletras.net image 500x268]


When they're that skinny you can hear their heart beat like the beat of the drum.

A spokeswoman for the British Heart Foundation said:

Read that as Bret Hart Foundation. What a tag team

22 Nov 2012 02:13 PM
chuckufarlie     
too late! ha! that means that I will live forever.

oh crap, I'm going to live forever. that sucks

22 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
the_chief     
Ain't it fun?

22 Nov 2012 02:17 PM
Aikidogamer     

TomD9938: FTA ; The study... found that men who, as teenagers, had... a stronger grip... had a 20-35% lower risk of early death from any cause.

I'd put my lowered risk of early death at 10-17.5% then.


Small town kid who worked on farms and wearhouses growing up. No idea how much I could bench, but lifting 135 lbs boxes all day was no issue.

22 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
skiinstructor     
Back in college(early 80's) the EEE department (Electrical and Electronic Engineering) turned out
class upon class of nerds. We had a good laugh off them. they kept to theirselves, and tolerated
all the crap that was tossed their way. I distinctly remember the electronics room having a big
poster stating that "Living well is the best revenge". well, here we are 30-some odd years later,
and yes indeedy, the ones i'm still in touch with are indeed living very,very well. And still very much
alive. common thread among them: They get outside and DO stuff. kayak. backpack. ski. fish. ride
bikes. sail. run. time spent geeking has to have an outdoor balance.... Happy thanksgiving farkers!

22 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
buntz     
What about those of us that aren't teenagers, junior?

22 Nov 2012 02:30 PM
Mikeyworld     
Go ahead. Die young. There's really nothing to live for anyway. With the way you treat yourself, Your hair and teeth are gonna fall out before you're fifty, your mind will not be able to process which day you did what, and nobody's gonna really care what ya did, anyway. Go ahead, it'll make less aggravation for us who are going out in style, well into our 90s. and you're gonna pay the bills for us.

/go ahead
//can I have your passwords?
///and your house

22 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
kurtanglerookieyear     
What's the real science here? I am an interesting case. Sickly in high school, less than 120 at one point on a 6'+ frame.
15 years later, I'm a health professional and a 405 lb dead lift is a snack. 180 lbs with 5 (ish) pct body fat. I see my doc monthly for bloodwork and I'm tip top. Look like a UFC fighter and I lift well above averages for my size. Should I just jump off the balcony? The article basically sounds like Better Luck Next Time although there is no next time.

22 Nov 2012 02:34 PM
Alkony     
If you follow the in-article link to the BBC article, you find this bit:

"Over the course of the study, 26,145 (2.3%) of the men died. The leading single cause of death was accidental injury, followed by suicide, cancer, heart disease and stroke.

A third of the deaths were due to other causes and the researchers grouped these together for their calculations."


Honestly, I'm leaning more toward psychological factors here. Guys are "supposed" to be strong, so the scrawny ones get picked on more. This kind of bullying behavior increases stress in the target, and stress is a known trigger for all kinds of maladies, like heart disease.

Also "The teenagers, who were all conscripts to the Swedish military... "

Ah yes, because we all know the physically unfit don't get any kind of extra-harsh treatment in the military. (/sarcasm)

22 Nov 2012 02:36 PM
Bronzemom     
Darwin sees what you did there.

22 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
Private_Citizen    [TotalFark]  
I'm an uber geek, but I can crack walnuts with my grip.

Hmm, I wonder what gave me such a powerful grip......

22 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
SanjiSasuke     
Its a good thing I lift 5 days a week.

/in 26 minutes

22 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
cig-mkr     
And that's why the farmers around here in their 80's are considered "the kid".
They been busting a nut all their life and don't know when to quit.

22 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
Christian Bale     

arbitterm: This is probably because if you were skinny and unhealthy in school, you probably stayed that way. I imagine if those studied had changed their diet and began working out they would have lived longer. The results here seem to say " stay healthy, live longer.


Nope, they said that didn't matter.

It's probably genetics. Let's face it, your genetic strength is reflected in your body, and scrawniness is a reflection of other defects that manifest later in life.

22 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
powhound     
If a "good grip" was the only metric for the young, men would never die. At least one side or the other would live eternally.

22 Nov 2012 03:28 PM
WienerButt     
I'm 26 yrs old, 5'6 140. Was hovering around 115-120 in high school. I never get sick and my family has been very healthy for the most part (mom and dad have 12 and 9 siblings respectively, no one has had cancer, nothing serious outside of diabetes in one uncle who got fat)

I think I'll be ok.

22 Nov 2012 03:43 PM
Catlike Typist     
Bad news, Subby? Because getting old is so cheap and fun?

22 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
cig-mkr     
Bad news for Farkers: turns out we're all going to die young
I've never been to a funeral where someone said he was old enough to die.
This just in:
Everyone on this planet will be replaced within the next hundred years.

22 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
Shadowtag     
Way too late. I blinked and suddenly I was a middle aged alcoholic.

22 Nov 2012 04:02 PM
KrispyKritter     
young athletes in peak condition drop dead while running or playing football every year. i have a old fat bastard BIL that has wrapped more cars around telephone poles than a Hollywood stunt man plus he lost huge weight after a gastric bypass only to slowly carefully make himself fatter than ever. don't worry about it, just go have some fun.

22 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
Marcintosh     

Indolent: Only the good die young.


Only the young die good

22 Nov 2012 04:33 PM
Dansker    [TotalFark]  

CygnusDarius: Will I leave a handsome corpse?.


Not if you use a big plastic barrel and enough acid to... but that's not what you meant. Never mind.

22 Nov 2012 04:39 PM
Mr. Ekshun     

22 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
Dansker    [TotalFark]  

Shadowtag: Way too late. I blinked and suddenly I was a middle aged alcoholic.


Things come easy for some people. I had to work at it for decades.

22 Nov 2012 04:57 PM
CygnusDarius     

Private_Citizen: I'm an uber geek, but I can crack walnuts with my grip.

Hmm, I wonder what gave me such a powerful grip......


Busting nuts?.

22 Nov 2012 05:10 PM
cryinoutloud    [TotalFark]  

Dansker: Shadowtag: Way too late. I blinked and suddenly I was a middle aged alcoholic.
Things come easy for some people. I had to work at it for decades.


Fark, I had to quit after a decade. I just lacked the willpower to keep killing myself after that.

But it now appears that I will live a long and healthy life, hating every minute of it.

22 Nov 2012 05:20 PM
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