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   Today marks the 50th anniversary of the day JFK was accidentally killed by Secret Service agent George Hickey

22 Nov 2012 01:47 PM   |   10657 clicks   |   Yahoo
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petermonica     
2012 - 1963 = 49.

Nice work subby.

22 Nov 2012 08:07 AM
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gopher321    [TotalFark]  
I thought it was Anne Frank who shot him.

22 Nov 2012 08:09 AM
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The Third Man     
You mean he was a zombie for a whole year? Maybe we should be looking at Abraham Lincoln as the real killer...

/oh please please please let this go green so we can truly mock subby

22 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
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DON.MAC    [TotalFark]  
JFK introduced new math into the school system.

22 Nov 2012 08:27 AM
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JerseyTim    [TotalFark]  

The Third Man: You mean he was a zombie for a whole year? Maybe we should be looking at Abraham Lincoln as the real killer...

/oh please please please let this go green so we can truly mock subby


I deserve it.

/hangs head in shame.

22 Nov 2012 08:32 AM
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Staffist    [TotalFark]  

The Third Man: You mean he was a zombie for a whole year? Maybe we should be looking at Abraham Lincoln as the real killer...

/oh please please please let this go green so we can truly mock subby


I voted for it.

/sorry JT

22 Nov 2012 09:55 AM
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OtherLittleGuy    [TotalFark]  
Damn thing delayed the debut of "Inspector Spacetime".

22 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
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Primum non nocere    [TotalFark]  
Jesus should've been born in Year 0.

And today we're beginning the 50th year since the JFK assassination.

And when ancient Romans said "I'll see you in 3 days", they meant the day-after-tomorrow. Today is Day 1, tomorrow is Day 2, and College Football Rivalry Saturday would be Day 3.

22 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
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JerseyTim    [TotalFark]  
Well, it's green. Bring on my Thanksgiving shaming.

22 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
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Coco LaFemme     
Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.

22 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
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thomps     

Coco LaFemme: Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.


seriously, we should greenlight this headline every day until the cia apologizes.

22 Nov 2012 12:52 PM
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Red Shirt Blues     
i287.photobucket.com

22 Nov 2012 01:07 PM
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reillan     

JerseyTim: Well, it's green. Bring on my Thanksgiving shaming.


You should've played it up. Put in the "that's the joke" image, etc. Make it seem like we're all just too lame to get it.

22 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
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Britney Spear's Speculum     
1963 = year 0
1964 = 1st anniversary
.
.
.
.
.
.
2012 = 49th anniversary

22 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
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nimeye     

gopher321: I thought it was Anne Frank who shot him.


That's just silly. I really doubt a blind woman could kill anyone with a rifle from that distance.

22 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
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zvoidx     
i.imgur.com
9-11-00
/never forget

22 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
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RoyFokker'sGhost     
Wait....

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect

22 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
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ModernLuddite     
24.media.tumblr.com

25.media.tumblr.com 

//Hotlinked.

22 Nov 2012 02:02 PM
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Britney Spear's Speculum     

RoyFokker'sGhost: Wait....

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect


Michael Jai White shares the same name with Michael Jordan whose number was 23.

22 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
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MFAWG     
That's my favorite JFK conspiracy theory, so I'm giving subby a pass.

22 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
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danielscissorhands     
I thought he was killed by a gay conspiracy, led by Clay Shaw, that, following a long civil war, would have led to the downfall of the heterosexual and to he end of straight marriage. The Stars and Stripes would be replaced by the Rainbow, and the country would be rechristened "The United Gays of America." Independence day would be switched to November 22, and it would be celebrated every year with super-fabulous Gay Pride parades all over the country.

Am I missing something?

22 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
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mr lawson     
www.jontanis.com

22 Nov 2012 02:09 PM
Reply
mechgreg     

RoyFokker'sGhost: Wait....

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect



curezone.com

22 Nov 2012 02:11 PM
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crazytrain     

Coco LaFemme: Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.


Everything I've read about Oswald suggests it was in no way related to policy. He had this incredible egotism and desire to be famous, and lo and behold, here comes this huge crime of opportunity when he learns the President's motorcade route will be passing right in front of the building where he happens to be working at the time. It really doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.

Also, for those who haven't read it, Stephen King's book "11/23/63" is actually his best effort in years and worth the read. Your basic time travel / try to save JFK / what would happen type novel.

22 Nov 2012 02:12 PM
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maxpower007     

Britney Spear's Speculum: RoyFokker'sGhost: Wait....

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect

Michael Jai White shares the same name with Michael Jordan whose number was 23.


Reminded me of the south park episode with Jeff Goldblum

22 Nov 2012 02:12 PM
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CygnusDarius     
No, no. It was Agent Mason.

beefjack.com

22 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
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crazytrain     
Correction - "11/22/63"

22 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
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Troy McClure     

Red Shirt Blues: [i287.photobucket.com image 640x307]


The best part of that is the Dallas Mavs in the crowd.

22 Nov 2012 02:18 PM
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Delay    [TotalFark]  
Feh, subby. Go flip off the tomb of a soldier.

22 Nov 2012 02:20 PM
Reply
Thanks for the Meme-ries     
i291.photobucket.com

HARTMAN: Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? None of you dumbasses knows? Private Cowboy?

COWBOY: Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN: That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed twelve people from a twenty-eight-storey observation tower at the University of Texas from distances up to four hundred yards. Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was? Private Snowball?

SNOWBALL: Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!

HARTMAN: That's right, and do you know how far away he was?

SNOWBALL: Sir, it was pretty far! From that book suppository building, sir!

HARTMAN: All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits, including a head shot! Do any of you people know where these individuals learned to shoot? Private Joker?

JOKER: Sir, in the Marines, sir!

HARTMAN: In the Marines! Outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated marine and his rifle can do! And before you ladies leave my island, you will be able to do the same thing!

22 Nov 2012 02:21 PM
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theMagni    [TotalFark]  

crazytrain: Correction - "11/22/63"


Don't you mean 11/22/62?

22 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
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EVERYBODY PANIC     
Duh. It was the Rothschilds. Kennedy messed with the currency. Just like Lincoln. Nobody messes with the Rothschild-run currencies of the world without permission.

22 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
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jimpapa     
first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.

22 Nov 2012 02:26 PM
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Pardon Me Sultan     
Subby isn't just a math retard, there's also the small matter of reading comprehension. I mean, it's right in the very first sentence of TFA

One year before the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination, events and tributes are already beginning in the Dallas area to commemorate the slain U.S. president and a defining moment in American history.

Highlighted for the slow.

22 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
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EVERYBODY PANIC     

Coco LaFemme: Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.


Oh come on. Let the farkers have a bit of fun. They have fun with everything else. Ain't nobody here happy that somebody shot JFK, but humor is part of how folks deal with tragedy.

22 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
Reply
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  
Subby is not alone in his confusion. At least subby didn't set up a web site dedicated to said confusion.

22 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
Reply
fugeeface     
o.onionstatic.com 
/hotlinked with grace, aplomb

22 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
Reply
alabasterblack     

RoyFokker'sGhost: Wait....

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect


Epic.

22 Nov 2012 02:28 PM
Reply
Lipspinach     
This kind of exlains it all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSwxecC w_Ys

22 Nov 2012 02:28 PM
Reply
Lost_in_Oregon     
FTA: preparing for 50th in 2013.

22 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
Reply
alabasterblack     

Pardon Me Sultan: Subby isn't just a math retard, there's also the small matter of reading comprehension. I mean, it's right in the very first sentence of TFA

One year before the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination, events and tributes are already beginning in the Dallas area to commemorate the slain U.S. president and a defining moment in American history.

Highlighted for the slow.


Who here hasn't gotten so excited to submit a link, that they didn't bother to actually read the article, for fear of losing the scoop to another Farker?

22 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
Reply
Waxing_Chewbacca     

jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.


Yup... I thought the same thing. You had him coming at you at one point too I believe. Also... Try standing over by where the grassy knoll guy was. THAT shot? Cakewalk. Very odd. Proves nothing but still... Very odd.

22 Nov 2012 02:32 PM
Reply
Waxing_Chewbacca     

alabasterblack: Pardon Me Sultan: Subby isn't just a math retard, there's also the small matter of reading comprehension. I mean, it's right in the very first sentence of TFA

One year before the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination, events and tributes are already beginning in the Dallas area to commemorate the slain U.S. president and a defining moment in American history.

Highlighted for the slow.

Who here hasn't gotten so excited to submit a link, that they didn't bother to actually read the article, for fear of losing the scoop to another Farker?


Also, you know, it can take a little while for something to go green. Normally not a year but still.

/. Subby owned it. It happens. Regardless... I like the Hickey reference.

22 Nov 2012 02:36 PM
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Fano    [TotalFark]  
RFK was the one who was killed by his bodyguards, dumbmitter

22 Nov 2012 02:36 PM
Reply
tirob     

jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.


Half a dozen Dallas motorcycle cops and fifteen Secret Service agents were looking right at the Texas School Book Depository ten seconds earlier. I suspect that Oswald felt that it would be prudent to wait before shooting in the interest of not drawing return fire.

22 Nov 2012 02:37 PM
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TomD9938     

fugeeface: [o.onionstatic.com image 445x668] 
/hotlinked with grace, aplomb


Zapruder home movies

Link

22 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
Reply
dallylamma     

danielscissorhands: I thought he was killed by a gay conspiracy, led by Clay Shaw, that, following a long civil war, would have led to the downfall of the heterosexual and to he end of straight marriage. The Stars and Stripes would be replaced by the Rainbow, and the country would be rechristened "The United Gays of America." Independence day would be switched to November 22, and it would be celebrated every year with super-fabulous Gay Pride parades all over the country.

Am I missing something?


You're not a bad-looking man, Mr. Garrison...

22 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
Reply
cedarpark     
If we're celebrating anything this year, let it be the invention of Pepperidge Farms Goldfish.

22 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
Reply
Coco LaFemme     

crazytrain: Coco LaFemme: Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.

Everything I've read about Oswald suggests it was in no way related to policy. He had this incredible egotism and desire to be famous, and lo and behold, here comes this huge crime of opportunity when he learns the President's motorcade route will be passing right in front of the building where he happens to be working at the time. It really doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.


I happen to agree; I wasn't asserting that Oswald disagreed with a particular portion of Kennedy's platform or any policy decision he might have made. I don't think we'll ever really know why he did it, aside from speculation, but I don't believe you'd kill the President if you liked him. He may have disliked him in general terms, and not held any one specific thing against him. I don't know. This wasn't a crime of passion/heat of the moment kind of thing. He had to plan to take the gun to work, make a sniper's nest, hide the rifle, flee the scene, then he shot that cop who stopped him......that's a lot of work put into killing a man you're ambivalent toward.

One thing I've always found intriguing is during the press conference at Dallas Police headquarters when the press were asking Oswald questions, one of them asked if he killed the President, and Oswald's response was "I haven't been charged with that." Not that he didn't do it, but that he hadn't been charged with it. It's not a confession or admission of guilt, but it sure as hell isn't an emphatic denial, either.

22 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
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Gunderson     
Come On, Subby! Everyone knows that JFK was killed by a self-inflicted gunshot would to the head.

22 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
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