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   Here's a handy calculator to determine how far you'll have to walk to burn off that Thanksgiving meal you just devoured. Subby is gonna need a new pair of shoes

23 Nov 2012 01:48 AM   |   4114 clicks   |   About.com
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hubiestubert    [TotalFark]  
I bike 20 miles a day. I ain't scared...

23 Nov 2012 12:11 AM
Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
I had multiple helpings of many of those and went back for seconds and thirds, and there appears to be no way to calculate that. Stupid calculator.

23 Nov 2012 12:37 AM
log_jammin     
It's taken me a year to lose 30lbs. I am scared.

23 Nov 2012 01:07 AM
Swoop1809     
When I was at my parents house today I weighed myself since I don't have a scale. I didnt like the number I saw. It's at least 15 pounds more than I'd like. It's really a shame I'm too lazy to do anything about it

23 Nov 2012 01:52 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  
Wouldn't you have to like, ya know, care in the first place?

/doesn't care right now
//knows she'll lose her excess chub when she gets a new job

23 Nov 2012 01:54 AM
lordargent     
Calculator doesn't ask about any of your current stats (ex, weight) and probably also assumes no elevation changes, so it's just as useful to you as if they had pulled the numbers out of their asses.

I went the lazy route and got a running computer.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size

23 Nov 2012 01:56 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: I had multiple helpings of many of those and went back for seconds and thirds, and there appears to be no way to calculate that. Stupid calculator.


I think it's for midgets with gastric bypass surgery.

23 Nov 2012 01:57 AM
EdNortonsTwin     
Hit the gym hard the day before TG, and your automatically burning calories the next day. Makes for a more pleasurable feast in more ways than one.

23 Nov 2012 01:59 AM
Huck And Molly Ziegler     
I'll be swimming a mile in 30 min on Sunday. So I guess I'm good. Still, I wish my belly didn't double as a flotation device.

23 Nov 2012 02:01 AM
EdNortonsTwin     
...or you can do what my slim Bro-in-law does: take one little bite of everything and just drink more beer.

He just might be a genius that guy.

23 Nov 2012 02:02 AM
Bacontastesgood     
What if my thanksgiving dinner was a small bowl of pasta which I later hurled? Sure, pneumonia sucks but I don't have to go running to keep the pounds off.

23 Nov 2012 02:03 AM
mongbiohazard     

Pocket Ninja: I had multiple helpings of many of those and went back for seconds and thirds, and there appears to be no way to calculate that. Stupid calculator.



Same here, except I had Thanksgiving dinner with the inlaws at 1pm and the another one with my side of the family at 7:30. So +20% and then double it for me. Yeesh. That brings me up to around 28 miles. Guess I'm walking to Tysons Corner tomorrow.

23 Nov 2012 02:04 AM
EdNortonsTwin     

Bacontastesgood: What if my thanksgiving dinner was a small bowl of pasta which I later hurled? Sure, pneumonia sucks but I don't have to go running to keep the pounds off.


bummer of a way to spend TG.

pnemonia hurt me so bad once, that I can't even spell it correctly.

23 Nov 2012 02:06 AM
bearded clamorer    [TotalFark]  
Ha!
Went to my mom's today, just in time to catch her cussing like a sailor at a botched batch of dressing.
She threw the entire container into the garbage can, and said to me: "F*ck this. I haven't cooked a decent Thanksgiving dinner in 20 years. You cook."
So I made a lasagne, and all was well with the world.

/You can't walk shiat like that off

23 Nov 2012 02:06 AM
Great Justice     
The real key to dieting is to realize that fasting is a method of getting high.

Seriously. If you wait long enough, you get totally loopy and everything becomes kinda funny, and not only is it free, but you save money by not buying food.

/not doctor recommended
//attempted fasting may also lead to the development of anorexia, religious extremism, or the revelation that you lack any real willpower and can't even skip one meal.

23 Nov 2012 02:08 AM
Bonzo_1116     
I just weighed myself---I gained two pounds today

And that was a weigh-in after pooping.

23 Nov 2012 02:12 AM
log_jammin     

Bonzo_1116: And that was a weigh-in after pooping.


I hate that.

23 Nov 2012 02:13 AM
borg    [TotalFark]  
I run 5 miles an hour ago usually I run 10 but I gave myself sometime off.

/Didn't eat any more than usual today.

23 Nov 2012 02:14 AM
log_jammin     

borg: I run 5 miles an hour ago usually I run 10 but I gave myself sometime off.


No way i could run 10 miles an hour.

23 Nov 2012 02:16 AM
Bacontastesgood     

EdNortonsTwin: bummer of a way to spend TG.

pnemonia hurt me so bad once, that I can't even spell it correctly.


Thankful to be alive. The rest is icing. Spelling and turkey and all that.

23 Nov 2012 02:16 AM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     
I need a calculator to tell me how much money I just spent on early Black Friday deals.

/not really, I couldn't find anything worth waiting in those long ass lines for

23 Nov 2012 02:18 AM
EdNortonsTwin     

Bacontastesgood: EdNortonsTwin: bummer of a way to spend TG.

pnemonia hurt me so bad once, that I can't even spell it correctly.

Thankful to be alive. The rest is icing. Spelling and turkey and all that.


Demand narckotics from your DR. It'll fix ya right up.

23 Nov 2012 02:22 AM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  
There's something off about that calculator. There's no way I need to walk 30 miles just to account for one meal.

23 Nov 2012 02:29 AM
KrispyKritter     
thankful for well built American car to tote my fat arse around, knock joggers & bicyclists out the way

23 Nov 2012 02:30 AM
drjekel_mrhyde     
You all sound fat

23 Nov 2012 02:32 AM
The All-Powerful Atheismo     

log_jammin: It's taken me a year to lose 30lbs. I am scared.


I have a rule of thumb. If you eat X pounds of food, you cannot possibly gain more than X pounds of weight.

/only slightly fat

23 Nov 2012 02:32 AM
The All-Powerful Atheismo     

HotWingAgenda: There's something off about that calculator. There's no way I need to walk 30 miles just to account for one meal.


Well actually that's about right.

Of course you burn many many calories just doing things like breathing and pumping blood. However, if you want to technically burn off an entire meal just through the activity of walking, that sounds about right. For a fatass meal.

23 Nov 2012 02:33 AM
log_jammin     

The All-Powerful Atheismo: log_jammin: It's taken me a year to lose 30lbs. I am scared.

I have a rule of thumb. If you eat X pounds of food, you cannot possibly gain more than X pounds of weight.

/only slightly fat


that worked for me about 10 years ago. not so much anymore.

5 nights a week at the gym and one meal a day, and I'm still just holding steady instead of losing. working nights is a biatch.

23 Nov 2012 02:37 AM
C18H27NO3     
One of the options is seriously 1 cracker with cheese?

23 Nov 2012 02:37 AM
haagen     
The calculator doesn't have cheese curds or beer. Fail.

23 Nov 2012 02:39 AM
The All-Powerful Atheismo     

log_jammin: The All-Powerful Atheismo: log_jammin: It's taken me a year to lose 30lbs. I am scared.

I have a rule of thumb. If you eat X pounds of food, you cannot possibly gain more than X pounds of weight.

/only slightly fat

that worked for me about 10 years ago. not so much anymore.

5 nights a week at the gym and one meal a day, and I'm still just holding steady instead of losing. working nights is a biatch.


Well they say one meal a day is a horrible way to lose weight. Better to eat 4 or 5 small meals a day to keep your metabolism continually going.

23 Nov 2012 02:39 AM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     

log_jammin: The All-Powerful Atheismo: log_jammin: It's taken me a year to lose 30lbs. I am scared.

I have a rule of thumb. If you eat X pounds of food, you cannot possibly gain more than X pounds of weight.

/only slightly fat

that worked for me about 10 years ago. not so much anymore.

5 nights a week at the gym and one meal a day, and I'm still just holding steady instead of losing. working nights is a biatch.


Dude, your body is probably in starvation mode, clinging desperately to every calorie you consume. You may want to looking into something like carb backloading or intermittent fasting. Or just eating more.

23 Nov 2012 02:40 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

C18H27NO3: One of the options is seriously 1 cracker with cheese?


Yeah, some people just don't seem to grasp the concept of "periodic, unabashed gluttony" very well. The last diet my mom went on had a half cup of skim milk and a half a banana as a breakfast option. They obviously didn't get the memo about skim milk being the devil's milk, either.

23 Nov 2012 02:43 AM
Dalek Caan's doomed mistress     
I regularly walk 25000 steps a night at work. I have no worries.

/also helps I worked today so I had no Thanksgiving
//oh well, there's always this weekend

23 Nov 2012 02:47 AM
Ezo5000     

The All-Powerful Atheismo: log_jammin: The All-Powerful Atheismo: log_jammin: It's taken me a year to lose 30lbs. I am scared.

I have a rule of thumb. If you eat X pounds of food, you cannot possibly gain more than X pounds of weight.

/only slightly fat

that worked for me about 10 years ago. not so much anymore.

5 nights a week at the gym and one meal a day, and I'm still just holding steady instead of losing. working nights is a biatch.

Well they say one meal a day is a horrible way to lose weight. Better to eat 4 or 5 small meals a day to keep your metabolism continually going.


TRUTH

23 Nov 2012 02:50 AM
The Southern Dandy     
Walk 22 miles? Fat chance!

23 Nov 2012 02:53 AM
cyberspacedout     

C18H27NO3: One of the options is seriously 1 cracker with cheese?


My thoughts exactly. I had at least 3, with half a glass of red wine before dinner.

23 Nov 2012 02:56 AM
balisane     
12.5 miles isn't bad; i walk that in a week no matter what. I did eat considerably more than usual, but most days run pretty close to the 1200-cal minimum, so that wasn't exactly hard.

One day of eating like a bear isn't going to change much; don't worry about it. It's the rest of the week and the leftovers that are the real problem.

23 Nov 2012 03:07 AM
Tony_Pepperoni     
How do I calculate: A turkey leg, a six pack and 4 smokes?

23 Nov 2012 03:23 AM
styckx    [TotalFark]  
That list was either made by an asshole or a midget.. No one eats the servings listed there.

1/2 cup stuffing? SERIOUSLY?

23 Nov 2012 03:24 AM
Joce678     

Pocket Ninja: I had multiple helpings of many of those and went back for seconds and thirds, and there appears to be no way to calculate that. Stupid calculator.


This...

23 Nov 2012 03:25 AM
The All-Powerful Atheismo     
According to the calculator I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to burn those 3,000 calories and fall down at your door

23 Nov 2012 03:55 AM
libranoelrose    [TotalFark]  
Anyone got a Tanita scale?

23 Nov 2012 03:59 AM
prjindigo     
they really DID pull the numbers out of their asses... there's no aerobic-ketosis buffer at all.

If you click everything the answer is actually about 86 miles but it says 63 or so will do.

23 Nov 2012 04:00 AM
xant     
Or you could just eat less for a couple of weeks. You burn calories by just being alive. Ever heard of metabolic rate, scaremongering website? fark your calculator.

23 Nov 2012 04:05 AM
The All-Powerful Atheismo     

xant: Or you could just eat less for a couple of weeks. You burn calories by just being alive. Ever heard of metabolic rate, scaremongering website? fark your calculator.


you just suggested that Americans eat less.

you're farking delusional.

23 Nov 2012 04:07 AM
planes     
I checked ALL the boxes to see the result:

One mixed drink, One glass of wine, A cup of coffee with cream and sugar, A glass of cider or juice, A cup of eggnog, A stalk of celery stuffed with cream cheese, A cracker with cheese, Half a cup of mixed, raw veggies, Half a cup of mixed nuts, Half a cup of fresh fruit, One ounce of potato or tortilla chips, One teaspoon of chip dip, Three cups salad with diet dressing, One tablespoon ranch dresing, Half a cup of gelatin with fruit, Half a cup of waldorf salad, Six ounces of cured ham, Six ounces of white and dark turkey, Six ounces of prime rib, Half a cup of stuffing, Half a cup of cranberry sauce, Half a cup of mashed potatoes, Half a cup of gravy, A baked potato with sour cream, Half a cup of green bean casserole, Half a cup of sauteed green beans, Half a cup of candied sweet potatoes, A dinner roll, A pat of butter, Two chocolate mints, Two small chocolate-chip cookies, A slice of apple pie, A slice of pecan pie, A slice of pumpkin pie, Half a cup of whipped cream, Half a cup of ice cream, A small piece of fudge, A turkey sandwich with mayo and cranberry sauce, An open-face turkey sandwich with stuffing and gravy, ...that comes to 6833 calories. You will need to walk 68.33 miles, 110.20 kilometers, or 136660 steps, assuming you cover one mile in 2,000 steps.

23 Nov 2012 04:54 AM
Agarista     
Checking all the boxes is probably closer to the actual amount eaten.

Cooked my first ever Thanksgiving meal this year. Ate it with a Canadian, a Lancastrian, a Yorkshireman, an Estonian and a Dutchman. We went through a few bottles of bourbon making Turkey 'tails (OJ, Cranberry juice n bourbon). I rocked the sweet potato/pecan/bourbon pie posted here last week, as well as a pumpkin pie, a banana cream pie, a lemon cheesecake and a spiced apple pie.

The sight of the meal I had prepared filled me with such pride. Especially the 2-gallons of home-made stuffing. I kinda cocked up the giblet gravy, but there was plenty of bisto on hand...

Barely moving today.

23 Nov 2012 05:08 AM
anwserman     
Yeah I jogged about 9 miles today. 5.3 in the morning (3am since I couldn't sleep) and 4.45 miles at 11pm since family was going to bed.

Lost about 40lbs this year and have a weight loss challenge st the local gym. Not too concerned.

As for the dinner, we had vegetables and guacamole for snacking. Ham and mashed potatoes and croissants were the meal, with some other sides as well.

I had about 5 croissants, two slices of pie, and one slice of pumpkin frosted roll. Plus lots of ham.

But considering how much I ate in comparison to the typical thanksgiving dinner (not a lot) plus burning 1500 calories running, not too concerned.

23 Nov 2012 05:57 AM
gmoney101     

hubiestubert: I bike 20 miles a day. I ain't scared...


alltheragefaces.comView Full Size


/where is the tick box for 10 beers?

23 Nov 2012 07:14 AM
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