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   It Begins: couple hit by car in Walmart parking lot on Black Thursday

23 Nov 2012 08:24 AM   |   6449 clicks   |   SeattlePI
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  
If the zombie apocalypse starts on Black Friday, no one will notice.

23 Nov 2012 12:45 AM
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urban.derelict     
what a stupid idea to intentionally let a car hit you -- to refuse to get out of the way -- and try to get money out of it -- they should have sped up and ran them over

23 Nov 2012 12:48 AM
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minoridiot    [TotalFark]  
Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

23 Nov 2012 01:00 AM
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Bucky Katt    [TotalFark]  
Oh, for Pete's sake.

23 Nov 2012 01:17 AM
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smadge1     
Should we expect anything less than a tragedy?

23 Nov 2012 08:27 AM
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Wade_Wilson     
Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.

23 Nov 2012 08:31 AM
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Tarmangani     

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?


Hey man, don't forget "they was married"!

23 Nov 2012 08:33 AM
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Zion21     
Hahah, if that's all there is then this is going well.  rewardslink.info

23 Nov 2012 08:35 AM
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Snarfangel     
Is the vehicle okay?

23 Nov 2012 08:37 AM
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vabeard     
Happy Holidays!

23 Nov 2012 08:38 AM
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tacks     
I felt bad for them until the article correctly clarified they were potentially living in sin. Smited?

23 Nov 2012 08:39 AM
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oukewldave     
Where's the amusing tag? Anything that happens to these idiots is funny. I hope to hear more about trampling and pepper spray.

23 Nov 2012 08:39 AM
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Zeb Hesselgresser     
Winning

23 Nov 2012 08:43 AM
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Ooba Tooba     
Flat screens for 8 bucks. Somebody's gonna die.

23 Nov 2012 08:44 AM
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david_gaithersburg     
This reminds me, aren't their union thugs there today pretending to be Walmart employees. This is going to call for the 4x4 truck!

23 Nov 2012 08:49 AM
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Millennium     

Ooba Tooba: Flat screens for 8 bucks. Somebody's gonna die.


This.

One of the big reasons for the Wal-Mart workers' strike is that the company refused to pay for extra security this year. Given that people have died in Wal-Mart Black Friday events in previous years, even with extra security, it sounds perfectly reasonable to me for the workers to demand either hazard pay or even more security.

Also, analyzing the deaths in Wal-Mart Black Friday events over the years would make a kickass dissertation topic for some sociology Ph.D student somewhere.

23 Nov 2012 08:51 AM
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LDM90     
The first casualties in the War on Thanksgiving.

23 Nov 2012 08:52 AM
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Ebbelwoi     
Hmmmm, the store was limiting the number of patrons inside to avoid overcrowding. That's not the Black Friday spirit we've come to know and love!

23 Nov 2012 09:01 AM
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LordOfThePings     

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?


The weather outside is frigthful, but the fire so deligthful.

23 Nov 2012 09:02 AM
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Ackbar_GastricFluid     

Snarfangel: Is the vehicle okay?


Forget the vehicle! Won't someone PLEASE think of the merchandise!?

23 Nov 2012 09:02 AM
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AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Go Team Management!

23 Nov 2012 09:04 AM
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ModernPrimitive01     
I was offered the option of going out with the wife and mother in law a few minutes ago. I actually considered it but decided to spend my morning in front of the Tv with you fine people

23 Nov 2012 09:07 AM
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DanZero    [TotalFark]  
WHOEVER CORRECTLY MARKED THEIR CARD GET YOUR PRIZE

img.photobucket.com

23 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
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HaywoodJablonski     

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?


Pot, meet kettle

23 Nov 2012 09:22 AM
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Bareefer Obonghit     
They were hit by a car on Thanksgiving. It's called Thanksgiving.

23 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
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Millennium     

Bareefer Obonghit: They were hit by a car on Thanksgiving. It's called Thanksgiving.


The "Black Thursday" name does have a nice ring to it, though. It certainly works to get the point across about how the event itself flies in the face of the holiday it shares a date with.

23 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
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Wade_Wilson     

Bareefer Obonghit: They were hit by a car on Thanksgiving. It's called Thanksgiving.


Thanksgiving is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Black Friday.

23 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
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Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute     

Snarfangel: Is the vehicle okay?


It was a Mercury. They haven't been ok since the 50's.

Scary tag instead of Dumbass tag?

Drunk, 71 years old, driving a Mercury, at a Walmart, on Thanksgiving

23 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
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Enemabag Jones     
I have seen it both ways.

Idiots too lazy, or self-absorbed to get into the side of the lane to let a car by when there is no reason they shouldn't.

Or, really aggressive people trying to nudge their way though crowed intersections when they need to slow down and suck it up. Quite often these people are in customized pickups or larger SUV's.

23 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
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ZzeusS     

Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.



The smugness is beaming out of my face. I hope it doesn't melt the monitor glass.

23 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
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rocketpants    [TotalFark]  

Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute: Drunk, 71 years old, driving a Mercury, at a Walmart, on Thanksgiving


The Aristocrats!

23 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
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Summer Glau's Love Slave     

ZzeusS: Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.


The smugness is beaming out of my face. I hope it doesn't melt the monitor glass.


Annnd, favorited!

23 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
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Linux_Yes    [TotalFark]  

Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.



lol go ahead and suffer/sympathize for them. its your duty.

23 Nov 2012 09:47 AM
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Linux_Yes    [TotalFark]  
he shops better when he's drunk.

23 Nov 2012 09:47 AM
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themasterdebater     

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?


No no.. the new hotness is texting in your story.

23 Nov 2012 09:50 AM
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Wade_Wilson     

Linux_Yes: Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.


lol go ahead and suffer/sympathize for them. its your duty.


"Reporting for duty, sah!"

/Rips off textbook salute, with mug of hot cocoa in hand.
//Trip to emergency room follows.
///Dies en route due to Black Friday traffic.
////Schadenfreude!

23 Nov 2012 09:52 AM
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dennis2society     
I'd like to point out that the "victims," in true Wal-Mart fashion, were likely sauntering across the parking lot, perhaps even walking out in the traffic lane, with little or no regard for anyone but themselves.

23 Nov 2012 10:21 AM
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Arthurgoboom     
I had 9:32 am CDT in the pool for the first shopping death. Any news in that department?

23 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
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kendelrio     
If Obummer would lower the cost of medicines, he wouldn't have to shop for all his medication at Black Thursday sales!!!!

/if you can't afford your medication, maybe Astro-Zeneca can help!!!
//whatever
///schatenfreud SLASHIES!!!!!

23 Nov 2012 10:58 AM
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Sass-O-Rev    [TotalFark]  

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?


And what is "now days"?

23 Nov 2012 10:59 AM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Wait, it wasn't a farmer's market?

And a 71 year old not driving a Buick?

23 Nov 2012 11:06 AM
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Pick     
I am sitting on "The Throne" in my own home, reading this on my iPhone, so I am getting a real kick, etc......

/ don't do Black shopping days

23 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
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martid4    [TotalFark]  
I stomped on three, to get a new TV.

23 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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moothemagiccow     

dennis2society: I'd like to point out that the "victims," in true Wal-Mart fashion, were likely sauntering across the parking lot, perhaps even walking out in the traffic lane, with little or no regard for anyone but themselves.


It's a parking lot, asshole. Pedestrians trump cars in a parking lot. Slow the fark down.

23 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
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malaktaus     

BarkingUnicorn: If the zombie apocalypse starts on Black Friday, no one will notice.


Of course they would; it would be an improvement.

While the barbarian hordes slaughter each other over cheap, Chinese-made crap that will probably give their doomed spawn lead poisoning, I'm not leaving my apartment today. I'm just going to smoke weed, play Civ 5 and eat leftovers. I'm not even putting on pants.

23 Nov 2012 03:57 PM
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saturn badger     

Tarmangani: minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

Hey man, don't forget "they was married"!


And

"The man rolled up onto the hood an onto the ground,"

24 Nov 2012 01:47 PM
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Qaiwolf     
cdn.ebaumsworld.com

25 Nov 2012 02:41 AM
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