If the zombie apocalypse starts on Black Friday, no one will notice.

what a stupid idea to intentionally let a car hit you -- to refuse to get out of the way -- and try to get money out of it -- they should have sped up and ran them over

Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

Oh, for Pete's sake.

Should we expect anything less than a tragedy?

Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

Hey man, don't forget "they was married"!

Hahah, if that's all there is then this is going well. 

Is the vehicle okay?

Happy Holidays!

I felt bad for them until the article correctly clarified they were potentially living in sin. Smited?

Where's the amusing tag? Anything that happens to these idiots is funny. I hope to hear more about trampling and pepper spray.

Winning

Flat screens for 8 bucks. Somebody's gonna die.

This reminds me, aren't their union thugs there today pretending to be Walmart employees. This is going to call for the 4x4 truck!

Ooba Tooba: Flat screens for 8 bucks. Somebody's gonna die.

This.

One of the big reasons for the Wal-Mart workers' strike is that the company refused to pay for extra security this year. Given that people have died in Wal-Mart Black Friday events in previous years, even with extra security, it sounds perfectly reasonable to me for the workers to demand either hazard pay or even more security.

Also, analyzing the deaths in Wal-Mart Black Friday events over the years would make a kickass dissertation topic for some sociology Ph.D student somewhere.

The first casualties in the War on Thanksgiving.

Hmmmm, the store was limiting the number of patrons inside to avoid overcrowding. That's not the Black Friday spirit we've come to know and love!

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

The weather outside is frigthful, but the fire so deligthful.

Snarfangel: Is the vehicle okay?

Forget the vehicle! Won't someone PLEASE think of the merchandise!?

Go Team Management!

I was offered the option of going out with the wife and mother in law a few minutes ago. I actually considered it but decided to spend my morning in front of the Tv with you fine people

WHOEVER CORRECTLY MARKED THEIR CARD GET YOUR PRIZE

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

Pot, meet kettle

They were hit by a car on Thanksgiving. It's called Thanksgiving.

Bareefer Obonghit: They were hit by a car on Thanksgiving. It's called Thanksgiving.

The "Black Thursday" name does have a nice ring to it, though. It certainly works to get the point across about how the event itself flies in the face of the holiday it shares a date with.

Bareefer Obonghit: They were hit by a car on Thanksgiving. It's called Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Black Friday.

Snarfangel: Is the vehicle okay?

It was a Mercury. They haven't been ok since the 50's.

Scary tag instead of Dumbass tag?

Drunk, 71 years old, driving a Mercury, at a Walmart, on Thanksgiving

I have seen it both ways.

Idiots too lazy, or self-absorbed to get into the side of the lane to let a car by when there is no reason they shouldn't.

Or, really aggressive people trying to nudge their way though crowed intersections when they need to slow down and suck it up. Quite often these people are in customized pickups or larger SUV's.

Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.


The smugness is beaming out of my face. I hope it doesn't melt the monitor glass.

Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute: Drunk, 71 years old, driving a Mercury, at a Walmart, on Thanksgiving

The Aristocrats!

ZzeusS: Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.


The smugness is beaming out of my face. I hope it doesn't melt the monitor glass.

Annnd, favorited!

Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.


lol go ahead and suffer/sympathize for them. its your duty.

he shops better when he's drunk.

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

No no.. the new hotness is texting in your story.

Linux_Yes: Wade_Wilson: Alright. I'm at my desk, I've got a mug of hot cocoa, my cellphone is on standby so that my relatives who are standing in three hour lines right now can be gloated at, and here is a nice Fark thread to help warm my morning. Let's enjoy some Schadenfreude.


lol go ahead and suffer/sympathize for them. its your duty.

"Reporting for duty, sah!"

/Rips off textbook salute, with mug of hot cocoa in hand.
//Trip to emergency room follows.
///Dies en route due to Black Friday traffic.
////Schadenfreude!

I'd like to point out that the "victims," in true Wal-Mart fashion, were likely sauntering across the parking lot, perhaps even walking out in the traffic lane, with little or no regard for anyone but themselves.

I had 9:32 am CDT in the pool for the first shopping death. Any news in that department?

If Obummer would lower the cost of medicines, he wouldn't have to shop for all his medication at Black Thursday sales!!!!

/if you can't afford your medication, maybe Astro-Zeneca can help!!!
//whatever
///schatenfreud SLASHIES!!!!!

minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

And what is "now days"?

Wait, it wasn't a farmer's market?

And a 71 year old not driving a Buick?

I am sitting on "The Throne" in my own home, reading this on my iPhone, so I am getting a real kick, etc......

/ don't do Black shopping days

I stomped on three, to get a new TV.

dennis2society: I'd like to point out that the "victims," in true Wal-Mart fashion, were likely sauntering across the parking lot, perhaps even walking out in the traffic lane, with little or no regard for anyone but themselves.

It's a parking lot, asshole. Pedestrians trump cars in a parking lot. Slow the fark down.

BarkingUnicorn: If the zombie apocalypse starts on Black Friday, no one will notice.

Of course they would; it would be an improvement.

While the barbarian hordes slaughter each other over cheap, Chinese-made crap that will probably give their doomed spawn lead poisoning, I'm not leaving my apartment today. I'm just going to smoke weed, play Civ 5 and eat leftovers. I'm not even putting on pants.

Tarmangani: minoridiot: Do they not teach English in schools now days?

Where is the "Wal-Mart parking near Seattle lots "?

How does one hit "the many?

And how long until "whne?

Hey man, don't forget "they was married"!

And

"The man rolled up onto the hood an onto the ground,"