This one's crazy late. We got started on Headline of the Year preliminary threads Tuesday but a project on Wednesday and Thanksgiving yesterday sort of dented the progress I had started. For those of you who have TF, the two threads are here:

December 2011:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7444133

January 2012:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7444462

In the meantime, here are the ones from this week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-11-11 to Sat 2012-11-17:

  After Hurricane Sandy, Nestle donates hundreds of Hot Pockets to Newark residents. First water, then fire, now lava - they can't catch a break    

  Woman attacked outside church by man with dark hair, full beard. He appeared cross    

  Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters    

  Vegetative patient clinically shown to be conscious after 12 years, has limited communication, given job greenlighting Fark links    

  The Israeli Defense Forces have just declared war over Twitter, UN to respond with Instagram'ed angry letter and Arab league via "Thing we dislike about Israel" Pinterest board    

  Diamond formerly belonging to Austro-Hungarian archduke sells for $21.5 million at auction, shortly thereafter, it was fatally stabbed by a radical Serbian brooch    

  Exotic dancer accused of human smuggling. Her really lumpy thong was a dead giveaway  

  Turkey recognizes new Syrian rebel group as the legitimate leader of Syria. US recognizes Turkey is delicious with stuffing and cranberry relish    

  Suspected murderer John McAfee asks around the internet if anyone knows of a cell phone that can't be tracked. Expected to soon tweet his complaints about how expensive lye is    

  New report warns that terrorists could black out an entire section of the U.S. by attacking our power grid. Or, they could just wait for the next moderate rain storm    

  U.S. Secret Service agents freak out when they mistake relatively benign water monitors for carnivorous komodo dragons... then later they all have a laugh about it over some drinks and prostitutes    


Sports:

  Conspiracy theorist claims that the Minnesota Timberwolves are hoarding white players to boost ticket sales. Protecting the stadium's baskets from wear and tear from slam dunks is just a lucky bonus    

  Study concludes soccer players may get long-term brain damage, just from heading the ball -- affording them yet another chance to flop on the ground and feign injury    

  Former Chicago Bears Coach Mike Ditka suffered a minor stroke, finished his pork chop    


Geek:

  Scientists have successfully cloaked an object perfectly for the first time. Nothing to see here, move along    

  Yearly birth rates continue to fall, although vasectomies are no longer responsible for the vas deferens    

  The lightest metal on Earth. No, I'm not talking about Metallica  


Entertainment:

  Creedence Clearwater Revival member John Fogerty's new book will detail his unique songwriting ability, career as a rock star, early success as the model for Dutch Boy Paints    

  John Mellencamp and Stephen King finish work on their collaboration project: A musical. It is expected to be a catchy hodgepodge of Americana with an unsatisfying ending    

  Taylor Swift begins writing a love advice column for Seventeen Magazine. Look for it on the same page with Charles Barkley's golf tips    


Politics:

  Hurricane Sandy forces unexpected New Jersey tax hikes. Governor Christie promptly moves to have Sandy officially registered as a Democrat    

  Pulitzer Prize winners Doris Kearns Goodwin and Tony Kushner say that Abraham Lincoln would be a Democrat today. We've recently reached Lincoln for comment: "...,"    

  Officials in Ecuador ban donkey from participating in council elections -- as opposed to the United States, where it's considered vital to have representatives from both parties    


Business:

  Apple announces resolution of dispute with HTC, cross-licensing of patents, and unlimited clean energy for its offices generated by Steve Jobs spinning in his grave    

  McAfee releases third quarter threats report, forgets to list their founder    

  Airlines paint mustaches on planes to support Movember, invite the public to take mile-high mustache rides