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   If you're picking up a DUI friend from the police station, don't speed in the parking lot, especially if you're drunk

24 Nov 2012 09:49 PM   |   2889 clicks   |   Philly.com
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GGracie     
I found a few websites that were fun.

The first one Link gives you a list of sobriety related tests that a cop may give a suspect. The Rhomberg Balance Test was hard to do even when totally sober. I kept adding in "Mississippi" in between the counting which actually made me 15 seconds late to not being drunk.

The other site Link calculates how much you can drink until you are "impaired". It was fun to add in different drinks and change my weight until I was drunk :-p

24 Nov 2012 08:43 PM
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Diana Fyer     
Can't drink all day if you don't start first thing in the morning.

24 Nov 2012 09:50 PM
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Silly Jesus     
In before victimless crime.

24 Nov 2012 09:54 PM
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Smeggy Smurf     

GGracie: I found a few websites that were fun.

The first one Link gives you a list of sobriety related tests that a cop may give a suspect. The Rhomberg Balance Test was hard to do even when totally sober. I kept adding in "Mississippi" in between the counting which actually made me 15 seconds late to not being drunk.

The other site Link calculates how much you can drink until you are "impaired". It was fun to add in different drinks and change my weight until I was drunk :-p


Step 1: Ossifer I'm not doing any of your stupid human tricks
Step 2: I'm not blowing either. You can take my blood by a certified phelbotomist. I'll need to see their credentials before I consent to being stuck.
Step 3: Sue the shiat out of them for false arrest. I get shiatfaced at home, not when I might drive.

/not driving
//working on getting shiatfaced

24 Nov 2012 09:56 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Shea was released later that day on his own recognizance and was picked up by another person.

Be funny if they were drunk, too.

24 Nov 2012 09:57 PM
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Silly Jesus     

Smeggy Smurf: Step 3: Sue the shiat out of them for false arrest.


Umm?

24 Nov 2012 10:01 PM
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basemetal    [TotalFark]  
Oh man, there have been several instances in my county of people reeking of alcohol coming to bail out their friends for DUI only to get busted themselves for either DUI or public drunk.

/dumbasses

24 Nov 2012 10:02 PM
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oukewldave     

fusillade762: Shea was released later that day on his own recognizance and was picked up by another person.

Be funny if they were drunk, too.


I was thinking the same thing. I would have stopped them just to see because of how funny it would be if they were drunk too.

24 Nov 2012 10:04 PM
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Gyrfalcon     
There's an easy way not to get picked up drunk driving.

Don't drive drunk.

24 Nov 2012 10:20 PM
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Godscrack     

Gyrfalcon: There's an easy way not to get picked up drunk driving.

Don't drive drunk.


www.silverfishlongboarding.com

24 Nov 2012 10:26 PM
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Enemabag Jones     
Went to get a friend of a friend out of a DWI. I had just gotten off of my second shift job.

Apparently the friend was a bit rude to the people in the office, and alpha officer sent relaxed veteran office to check me out while I was sitting in the car.

He checked out my id and on the way back shrugged to the alpha officer and said something to the effect of, 'nothing I could charge him for.' Apparently police are prone to treat you by the company you keep.

/Learned to pick whom I trust and whom I do favors for.

24 Nov 2012 10:30 PM
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Apos     
So Nate, in a particularly blue funk,
Foolishly opted to joyride while drunk
In his deep inebriation,
He stopped by a police station-
The epitome of sweet justice...Who would've thunk?

24 Nov 2012 10:37 PM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  

Enemabag Jones: Went to get a friend of a friend out of a DWI. I had just gotten off of my second shift job.

Apparently the friend was a bit rude to the people in the office, and alpha officer sent relaxed veteran office to check me out while I was sitting in the car.

He checked out my id and on the way back shrugged to the alpha officer and said something to the effect of, 'nothing I could charge him for.' Apparently police are prone to treat you by the company you keep.

/Learned to pick whom I trust and whom I do favors for.


This should be in the How To Be A Young Person handbook. In school they tell you how successful business people surround themselves with experts to get things done. It doesn't occur to everyone in school the importance of carefully choosing who you surround yourself with, and how much that can can positively or negatively affect one's life. I've learned most people are not trustworthy and do not deserve favors. Life is full of people that use other people, and sometimes you are related to them.

24 Nov 2012 10:40 PM
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Show_The_O_Face     

Enemabag Jones: said something to the effect of, 'nothing I could charge him for.'


Trust me. There's ALWAYS something they can ticket you with if they're pissed off enough.

How's the tread on your tires?
Is your tint up to code?
Are your headlights bright enough and properly aligned?
Does your DL, registration, and insurance all match the same address?
Did you use your turn signal leaving the parking lot?

24 Nov 2012 10:41 PM
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Loren     

basemetal: Oh man, there have been several instances in my county of people reeking of alcohol coming to bail out their friends for DUI only to get busted themselves for either DUI or public drunk.

/dumbasses


Yup. Drunks tend to have drunk friends.

24 Nov 2012 10:57 PM
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GRCooper     

fusillade762: Shea was released later that day on his own recognizance and was picked up by another person.

Be funny if they were drunk, too.


CSB:

Got a call at 2am one night. I was dead asleep, borderline passed out (had crashed around 1, been drinking since 5).

"Mr Cooper, this is Charlottesville police", that woke my ass right up, "do you know a Mr XXXXXX"

Anyway, a bud had passed out, in a public parking lot, next to his truck. Cops found him and managed to get my contact info from him (I lived a block away).

They asked if I'd come get his ass. I walked over, and they handed me a magazine of 9mm and his Glock.

(When they'd woken him and got his drunk ass off the pavement, the asked if he had any weapons in the truck - he'd giggled like a loon and said "HELL YES!")

They gave me his keys, and we got in the truck - at first he tried to get into the drivers seat: By this time both cops are barely able to keep from cracking up (my friends a funny drunk).

I got him in the passenger seat and started to drive away ( faaaar too drunk to be driving - i guess compared to my bud I seemed ok). I pulled out of the parking lot and, in front of two of CVilles finest, went the wrong way down a one way street.

My friend, of course, thought that was the funniest farking thing he'd ever seen.

Thankfully, made the one block drive home ok and passed out again; me in bed, my bud on the couch

24 Nov 2012 11:12 PM
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vodka     
How can you get a DUI or speeding for driving in a parking lot anyway, isn't it private property not subject to traffic laws?

24 Nov 2012 11:30 PM
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buzzcut73     

vodka: How can you get a DUI or speeding for driving in a parking lot anyway, isn't it private property not subject to traffic laws?


1. Depends on the state. Some do have the 'upon a public roadway' clause in their DUI statute, some do not.
2. Doesn't matter either way if they saw him pull in to the parking lot from the public street, which is what it sounds like.

/Dude probably had a 'leftover' rather than a hangover.

24 Nov 2012 11:43 PM
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davidphogan     

vodka: How can you get a DUI or speeding for driving in a parking lot anyway, isn't it private property not subject to traffic laws?


If the parking lot is public property I don't think you could dodge that.

24 Nov 2012 11:45 PM
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Misch    [TotalFark]  

vodka: How can you get a DUI or speeding for driving in a parking lot anyway, isn't it private property not subject to traffic laws?


It was the police station lot, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the car didn't materialize out of thin air.

Damnit, I haven't seen a story of something good from my area since "Community rallies to save nuns' sausage fest"

25 Nov 2012 12:23 AM
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Loren     

vodka: How can you get a DUI or speeding for driving in a parking lot anyway, isn't it private property not subject to traffic laws?


It was the police station lot.

25 Nov 2012 12:46 AM
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H31N0US     
CSB. One time long long ago, two of my idiot friends were drag racing down rt 9 jersey. They got pulled over, but since there was only one cop, one of my friends got away. the next day, when we went to pick up the one who was caught, the one who got away, for reasons I still don't understand, went in to the station to get him. The cops were like "oh you are so and so? well we ran your plates. Your friend just made bail, but you are staying here". I spent the rest of my evening getting that idiot out of jail too.

25 Nov 2012 02:17 AM
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StoPPeRmobile     

Silly Jesus: In before victimless crime.


See? There ya go and redeem yourself.

25 Nov 2012 04:16 AM
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Enemabag Jones     
Show_The_O_Face
Enemabag Jones: said something to the effect of, 'nothing I could charge him for.'
Trust me. There's ALWAYS something they can ticket you with if they're pissed off enough.
How's the tread on your tires?
Is your tint up to code?
Are your headlights bright enough and properly aligned?
Does your DL, registration, and insurance all match the same address?
Did you use your turn signal leaving the parking lot?

Two things.
I kept a calm polite disposition.
I was lucky that the cops asked to take my information didn't have an interest in farking with me.

25 Nov 2012 05:14 AM
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ItchyBrother     
I always seem to run up against that same problem the comedian Ron White has:

"They informed me I had the right to remain silent, unfortunately I'd lost the ability to do so"
 

(Just a small aside: NEVER mention anything about the arresting officer's mother before they cuff you. Much to my chagrin, I found out that one can be cuffed while twisted like a pretzel. It takes an extra set of cuffs, but one arm over-the-shoulder and behind the neck, and one arm up and behind the crotch makes for a very uncomfortable ride to the station)

The up-side to it, I can now scratch my ass by reaching over my shoulder.

25 Nov 2012 08:09 AM
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