I was there and the only thing that saved me was taking shelter behind my huge boner.

"Thank God no one was killed. This truly was a miracle on Worthington Street," Mayor Domenic Sarno said at a press conference on Saturday.

Or... you know... God could have had the explosion not happen at all.

That's Assplodes, subby.

Not bad, subby.

Things are hard when there are strippers around.

42 Buildings Damaged In Springfield Gas Explosion

Wamphyr: That's Assplodesblows, subby.

Did they fly all their flags at...

...half staff?

YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Well at least we know the question now.

E.d.?

RodneyToady: "Thank God no one was killed. This truly was a miracle on Worthington Street," Mayor Domenic Sarno said at a press conference on Saturday.

Or... you know... God could have had the explosion not happen at all.

No no... god was smiting the building of sin, but showing mercy and divinity by seeing that nobody was hurt in the process. Also, everyone got an insurance check.... so its just god working in mysterious ways.

....right? guys? Where is everybody going?

First a house explodes in Indianapolis and destroys a shiat load of surrounding houses. Now this incident. Coincidence, I think not.

The queef heard 'round the world.

Had to check TFA because the building I work in relies on a strip club for some of its structural integrity.

Huntceet: First a house explodes in Indianapolis and destroys a shiat load of surrounding houses. Now this incident. Coincidence, I think not.

There are a few theories out there as to what actually happened with the houses. And it is not what the media is reporting.

/really interesting

whenIsayGO: Had to check TFA because the building I work in relies on a strip club for some of its structural integrity.

We keep tellin ya - boner tents do not constitute a commercial structure!

puffy999: The queef heard 'round the world.

that drew a hearty chortle and a snerk

That strip club really tied the neighborhood together, did it not?

danno_to_infinity: puffy999: The queef heard 'round the world.

that drew a hearty chortle and a snerk

Do you think some of the strippers queef while they are on the pole?

I want a church next to a strip club.

Anthracite: Huntceet: First a house explodes in Indianapolis and destroys a shiat load of surrounding houses. Now this incident. Coincidence, I think not.

There are a few theories out there as to what actually happened with the houses. And it is not what the media is reporting.

/really interesting

Please, do tell
(I'm imagining this is "slabs of concrete held up with wire mesh" interesting here)

herrDrFarkenstein: I want a church next to a strip club.



Simpsons did it.

RodneyToady: "Thank God no one was killed. This truly was a miracle on Worthington Street," Mayor Domenic Sarno said at a press conference on Saturday.

Or... you know... God could have had the explosion not happen at all.

The way i understand it is; God COULD fix all of our problems in an instant. But, he lets us have the free will to make choices; all choices have consequences, some are not apparent till much later.

The reason god doesn't fix all of our problems is because it conflicts with free will.

/ either that; or god is a troll

whenIsayGO: Had to check TFA because the building I work in relies on a strip club for some of its structural integrity.

Relying on a strip joint for integrity... my kind of employer.

42 buildings? What was it... a strip mall?

/try the veal... but not the roast beef

iheartscotch: RodneyToady: "Thank God no one was killed. This truly was a miracle on Worthington Street," Mayor Domenic Sarno said at a press conference on Saturday.

Or... you know... God could have had the explosion not happen at all.

The way i understand it is; God COULD fix all of our problems in an instant. But, he lets us have the free will to make choices; all choices have consequences, some are not apparent till much later.

The reason god doesn't fix all of our problems is because it conflicts with free will.

/ either that; or god is a troll

My favorite explanation (full disclosure, I'm not of a Judeo-Christian background) is that God's mission is to sort all living souls into good (light) or bad (heavy). The only way this god can be sure is by letting the souls do what they want. The good ones go to heaven after the judging period, and the bad ones go to hell, or purgatory if he needs to do an overtime to get the final score.

At the end of everything, he'll have two neat stacks of good and bad, and he can proceed with throwing out the bad and building a universe of pure good.

Huntceet: First a house explodes in Indianapolis and destroys a shiat load of surrounding houses. Now this incident. Coincidence, I think not.

Things blow up all the time... it's an imperfect world.

I liked the article where the club manager was credited with helping save lives by making the dancers leave whether they were nude or not.

Hmm, something smells fishy

zamboni: Huntceet: First a house explodes in Indianapolis and destroys a shiat load of surrounding houses. Now this incident. Coincidence, I think not.

Things blow up all the time... it's an imperfect entropic world.

FTFY

HotWingAgenda: iheartscotch: RodneyToady: "Thank God no one was killed. This truly was a miracle on Worthington Street," Mayor Domenic Sarno said at a press conference on Saturday.

Or... you know... God could have had the explosion not happen at all.

The way i understand it is; God COULD fix all of our problems in an instant. But, he lets us have the free will to make choices; all choices have consequences, some are not apparent till much later.

The reason god doesn't fix all of our problems is because it conflicts with free will.

/ either that; or god is a troll

My favorite explanation (full disclosure, I'm not of a Judeo-Christian background) is that God's mission is to sort all living souls into good (light) or bad (heavy). The only way this god can be sure is by letting the souls do what they want. The good ones go to heaven after the judging period, and the bad ones go to hell, or purgatory if he needs to do an overtime to get the final score.

At the end of everything, he'll have two neat stacks of good and bad, and he can proceed with throwing out the bad and building a universe of pure good.

I think I read this series. Does it involve electing an underage prostitute to the position of God?

Okay I hear the skepticism on the miracle comment, but an explosion totaled 42 buildings and no one died. This isn't Pripyat; Springfield is an occupied city. That is a pretty amazing coincidence. What the hell do you think the Christian preacher is going to callit when a massive urban explosion doesn't kill anyone; most people would be pretty moved by it.

BolloxReader: At the end of everything, he'll have two neat stacks of good and bad, and he can proceed with throwing out the bad and building a universe of pure good.

I think I read this series. Does it involve electing an underage prostitute to the position of God?


That doesn't ring a bell, but now I'm going to look for it. Sounds like something Gaiman would write.

factoryconnection: Okay I hear the skepticism on the miracle comment, but an explosion totaled 42 buildings and no one died.

Wouldn't it have been easier to stop the explosion in the first place? This God guy sounds nice and everything but he always seems to do things in the most complicated way.

HotWingAgenda: BolloxReader: At the end of everything, he'll have two neat stacks of good and bad, and he can proceed with throwing out the bad and building a universe of pure good.

I think I read this series. Does it involve electing an underage prostitute to the position of God?


That doesn't ring a bell, but now I'm going to look for it. Sounds like something Gaiman would write.

Your version sounds a lot like the book series Incarnations of Immortality by Piers Anthony.

/ let's just say that the entire series is special

iheartscotch: either that; or god is a troll

Or God doesn't want puppets. Typical Fark thread though, subject about religion, first few posts are complaints.

tens
dozens
tens of dozens
dozens of tens
tens of tens
dozens of dozens

farking Mayans tried to warn you. you listen? nooooooooo

Kurmudgeon: iheartscotch: either that; or god is a troll

Or God doesn't want puppets. Typical Fark thread though, subject about religion, first few posts are complaints.

I'm not arguing it either way. On one hand, you're probably right about him not wanting puppets.

On the other, god is just as chaotic and capricious as his pagan counterparts.

KrispyKritter: farking Mayans tried to warn you. you listen? nooooooooo

Never forget! whatever day this took place...

GratuityIncluded: tens
dozens
tens of dozens
dozens of tens
tens of tens
dozens of dozens

That last one is gross.

GratuityIncluded: tens
dozens
tens of dozens
dozens of tens
tens of tens
dozens of dozens

whatshisname: factoryconnection: Okay I hear the skepticism on the miracle comment, but an explosion totaled 42 buildings and no one died.

Wouldn't it have been easier to stop the explosion in the first place? This God guy sounds nice and everything but he always seems to do things in the most complicated way.

What's a few buildings in the grand scheme of things? Please note that I'm not calling this divine intervention; it was just great fortune in the face of calamity.

Personally I'm right now feeling a LOT less like upgrading to a gas-powered, on-demand water heater,

No, actually Springfield is a lot closer to Pripiyat than one would figure.

If only they had poles of some sort of metal to support those...

zamboni: Huntceet: First a house explodes in Indianapolis and destroys a shiat load of surrounding houses. Now this incident. Coincidence, I think not.

Things blow up all the time... it's an imperfect world.

Don't be so sentimental!

Somaticasual: whenIsayGO: Had to check TFA because the building I work in relies on a strip club for some of its structural integrity.

We keep tellin ya - boner tents do not constitute a commercial structure!

Yeah, they're definitely privates

HotWingAgenda: iheartscotch: RodneyToady: "Thank God no one was killed. This truly was a miracle on Worthington Street," Mayor Domenic Sarno said at a press conference on Saturday.

Or... you know... God could have had the explosion not happen at all.

The way i understand it is; God COULD fix all of our problems in an instant. But, he lets us have the free will to make choices; all choices have consequences, some are not apparent till much later.

The reason god doesn't fix all of our problems is because it conflicts with free will.

/ either that; or god is a troll

My favorite explanation (full disclosure, I'm not of a Judeo-Christian background) is that God's mission is to sort all living souls into good (light) or bad (heavy). The only way this god can be sure is by letting the souls do what they want. The good ones go to heaven after the judging period, and the bad ones go to hell, or purgatory if he needs to do an overtime to get the final score.

At the end of everything, he'll have two neat stacks of good and bad, and he can proceed with throwing out the bad and building a universe of pure good.

Why can't God just make all souls good to begin with?

redhook: Why can't God just make all souls good to begin with?

Too easy. You have to choose to be good or it's not worth anything.

redhook: Why can't God just make all souls good to begin with?

I could be wrong. He might be putting all the bad souls together so he can party with them. What fun would a universe of Ned Flanders be?