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   The war on Christmas continues, now includes hand grenades

25 Nov 2012 11:29 AM   |   6591 clicks   |   Fox News
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dogdaze    [TotalFark]  

25 Nov 2012 07:18 AM
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mekki     
I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.

25 Nov 2012 11:32 AM
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laulaja    [TotalFark]  
a) Christmas FL, b) Fox News, c) Christmas FL ~20 mi W of Cape Canaveral.

25 Nov 2012 11:35 AM
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Nothing To See Here     
Damn it Kids, drop that grenade and play with your Lawn Darts.

25 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
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dickfreckle     

mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.


Fair enough.

But after years of being polite, I'm actually going to say, "Happy Holidays" just to see how many people I can piss off.

/am normally a nice guy, but even reading "War on Christmas" in the headline drives me nuts
//deez nutz

25 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
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diaphoresis     

laulaja: a) Christmas FL, b) Fox News, c) Christmas FL ~20 mi W of Cape Canaveral.


I'll take C ftw... Conspiracy to hide grenade ~20 miles from Cape Canaveral so they can blow up any launches coming out of there... or just in case Obama lands there one day.

25 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
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dickfreckle     

Nothing To See Here: Damn it Kids, drop that grenade and play with your Lawn Darts.


Each time Lawn Darts are mentioned on Fark, I shed a wistful tear. That is all.

We should probably start talking about TFA now.

25 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
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NutWrench    [TotalFark]  
I hope they were Holy Hand Grenades, at least. It IS Christmas, after all.

25 Nov 2012 11:39 AM
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Because People in power are Stupid    [TotalFark]  
The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?

25 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
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Nothing To See Here     
Keep Chi$t in Xmas,
the churches need the money to fund war and hatred against other gods.

25 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
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mekki     

Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?


A sloth?

"Dammit, Larry, throw it already!"
"I am. I can't go any faster. I am a farkin' slo*BOOM*!"

25 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
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uncleacid     
Kids add grenade launcher to Christmas list.

25 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
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mekki     

Nothing To See Here: Keep Chi$t in Xmas,
the churches need the money to fund war and hatred against other gods.


And we have our first "I didn't read the farkin' article" post. YAY!

*throws confetti*

25 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
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darthdrafter     
scarsmagazine.com

Hand grenades are small potatoes in the War on Christmas. The military might of Mr. Claus cannot be dismissed as inconsequential, not since he defeated a whole planet.

25 Nov 2012 11:54 AM
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Mentalpatient87    [TotalFark]  
This article reads like a book report from 4th grade.

25 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
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Benni K Rok     
What happens when Christmas starts fighting back?

War of Christmas(video)

25 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
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Nothing To See Here     

mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.



Bless you.

25 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
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Valiente     

Mentalpatient87: This article reads like a book report from 4th grade an example of current print journalism in the age of "everyone gets a star in English class"..


There yuh go.

25 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
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WelldeadLink     

Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?


Everyone wants one at first, but that doesn't last.
As soon as they pull the pin, everyone decides they really don't want it any more.

Obligatory:
i.imgur.com

25 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
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wildcardjack     
coolmaterial.com

25 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
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DeathCipris     

darthdrafter: [scarsmagazine.com image 337x500]

Hand grenades are small potatoes in the War on Christmas. The military might of Mr. Claus cannot be dismissed as inconsequential, not since he defeated a whole planet.


DROPO!
That movie so horrifically bad. I watched it last Xmas as part of "bad xmas movie xmas."

/Xmas cards are here Xmas people!
//Xmas!
///I think you are using an archaic pronunciation of the word "Xmas" like when you say ask instead of "ax."

25 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
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FarkinSneakyBastage     

mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.


Can I do both?

I'm a militant atheist who plans on throwing hand grenades into churches and nativity scenes on Christmas eve, because that's what we intolerant militant atheists do. It's even in our handbook! 

/Begun the Christmas wars, has

25 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
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Delawheredad    [TotalFark]  
That article was not what I was expecting. It was badly written and almost informative. Perhaps this article will grow up to be a real news item one day.

25 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
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offmymeds     
i1136.photobucket.com

25 Nov 2012 12:30 PM
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Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  
I always love the butthurt when you call 'em "xtians" or call it "xmas" that you can sometimes get from some people. It just shows you they don't know who Gutenberg was or understand the concept of saving space while printing a bible. It amuses me greatly.

If I ever completely lose my mind and move to Florida, I'll move to Christmas, just so I can write it as "xmas".

/easily amused
//can I get one of those grenades gift wrapped for Yule? 
///wanna send it to psycho uncle in Norway
*with love, from California! ♥*

25 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
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Dahnkster     
Came for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, leaving on three.

ONE! TWO! FIVE!

25 Nov 2012 12:58 PM
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Mega Steve     

offmymeds: [i1136.photobucket.com image 850x652]


Ah, the good old days when you could have stuff like that without getting shot by the police

25 Nov 2012 01:05 PM
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Nothing To See Here     

Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?


Well not a real grenade, that would be cruel.

25 Nov 2012 01:09 PM
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Little Foot     
FARK, I am disappoint.

Came for Whendonite Farkers rejoicing with Jayne references. Leaving disenchanted.

25 Nov 2012 01:13 PM
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diaphoresis     

Dahnkster: Came for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, leaving on three.

ONE! TWO! FIVE!


Three, sir!

25 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
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Begoggle     

dickfreckle: mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.

Fair enough.

But after years of being polite, I'm actually going to say, "Happy Holidays" just to see how many people I can piss off.

/am normally a nice guy, but even reading "War on Christmas" in the headline drives me nuts
//deez nutz


I say Happy Ramadan to everyone I meet.
Members of other religions piss off the wackos more than atheists.

25 Nov 2012 01:46 PM
Reply
diaphoresis     

Begoggle: dickfreckle: mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.

Fair enough.

But after years of being polite, I'm actually going to say, "Happy Holidays" just to see how many people I can piss off.

/am normally a nice guy, but even reading "War on Christmas" in the headline drives me nuts
//deez nutz

I say Happy Ramadan to everyone I meet.
Members of other religions piss off the wackos more than atheists.


WTF is a Ramadan? Meh.. who cares.. you're religion isn't important.

25 Nov 2012 01:47 PM
Reply
darthdrafter     

Nothing To See Here: Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?

Well not a real grenade, that would be cruel.


No, it has to be a real one. The lesson here is that we all have potential just like a live grenade has. The grenade just sits there quietly waiting for it's chance to change the world and maybe, if it's really lucky, one day it's pin will be pulled and that plucky young munition will make it's mark on humanity. A scorched burning bleeding mark but a mark all the same. We can all learn from that hand grenade and live our lives in memory of it's heroic actions. Merry Christmas and God Bless America.

25 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
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Dahnkster     

diaphoresis: WTF is a Ramadan?


They are these tasty noodles you heat like soup.

25 Nov 2012 01:54 PM
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grokca    [TotalFark]  

Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?


The person who had one thrown at them.

25 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
Reply
Nothing To See Here     

darthdrafter: Nothing To See Here: Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?

Well not a real grenade, that would be cruel.

No, it has to be a real one. The lesson here is that we all have potential just like a live grenade has. The grenade just sits there quietly waiting for it's chance to change the world and maybe, if it's really lucky, one day it's pin will be pulled and that plucky young munition will make it's mark on humanity. A scorched burning bleeding mark but a mark all the same. We can all learn from that hand grenade and live our lives in memory of it's heroic actions. Merry Christmas and God Bless America.


You're starting to sound like my ole buddy Lefty.

25 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
Reply
GranoblasticMan     

darthdrafter: Nothing To See Here: Because People in power are Stupid: The question is really:

Who doesn't want a hand grenade?

Well not a real grenade, that would be cruel.

No, it has to be a real one. The lesson here is that we all have potential just like a live grenade has. The grenade just sits there quietly waiting for it's chance to change the world and maybe, if it's really lucky, one day it's pin will be pulled and that plucky young munition will make it's mark on humanity. A scorched burning bleeding mark but a mark all the same. We can all learn from that hand grenade and live our lives in memory of it's heroic actions. Merry Christmas and God Bless America.


i.imgur.com

25 Nov 2012 02:21 PM
Reply
KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  

Begoggle: dickfreckle: mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.

Fair enough.

But after years of being polite, I'm actually going to say, "Happy Holidays" just to see how many people I can piss off.

/am normally a nice guy, but even reading "War on Christmas" in the headline drives me nuts
//deez nutz

I say Happy Ramadan to everyone I meet.
Members of other religions piss off the wackos more than atheists.


moshi moshi! may Gift Giving Man be extra generous to your family!

25 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
Reply
Gyrfalcon     

mekki: I wonder how many people are actually going to read the article and how many are going to skip it and go into, "Silly, superstitious Christians. There is no war on Christmas" rants in this thread.


I wonder how many people are going to read the article, and head for that lot with metal detectors and shovels in hand...

25 Nov 2012 05:38 PM
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MezzoPips     
I live about 15 min east of Christmas, subby you made my day. "Rural" is an apt description, but there are Christmas decorations up all year at one of the 3 businesses off the main road.

People line up and go crazy to have thier X-Mas cards sent from there.

25 Nov 2012 05:58 PM
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anotar     
www.wired.com

25 Nov 2012 07:25 PM
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