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   10 perfectly legitimate reasons why you have an open bottle of bourbon

25 Nov 2012 01:14 PM   |   15274 clicks   |   Some Guy
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Lsherm    [TotalFark]  
You haven't finished it yet?

25 Nov 2012 12:31 PM
iheartscotch     
Yeah, but it's not like you're gonna de-glaze some mushrooms out on the corner.

25 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
Evil Mackerel     
I'm cooking a country ham?

25 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
Biff Spiffy    [TotalFark]  
'I like bourbon' apparently isn't a legitimate reason?

25 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
pounddawg     
11 -- cause my glasses and ice get lonely.
12 -- cause I like bourbon
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad

25 Nov 2012 01:20 PM
Nothing To See Here     
Bring on a Pitcher

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

25 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
TofuTheAlmighty     
Because you're out of scotch?

25 Nov 2012 01:23 PM
harbingerofdoom     
i rarely find i need more than 1:
because im drinking it

25 Nov 2012 01:23 PM
HowiPepper    [TotalFark]  
I only need two reasons:

1) Because the sun came up.
2) Because the sun went down.

25 Nov 2012 01:25 PM
John Buck 41    [TotalFark]  

Biff Spiffy: 'I like bourbon' apparently isn't a legitimate reason?


Followed closely by "I'm thirsty".

25 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
FloydA     
Because I can.

25 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
Evil Mackerel     
Because it's good with with fresh snow?

/mmm bourbon slushy.

25 Nov 2012 01:27 PM
TuteTibiImperes    [TotalFark]  

pounddawg:
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad


I have a couple unopened bottles of Booker's that I picked up for half off at a liquor store closing sale. It's by far my favorite bourbon, but nine times out of ten I end up reaching for a bottle of Ezra Brooks or Evan Williams when I'm making a drink, figuring I'm saving the good stuff for a special occasion.

25 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
Victorinox     
how about illegitimate causes?

25 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
sigdiamond2000    [TotalFark]  

TofuTheAlmighty: Because you're out of scotch?


Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

25 Nov 2012 01:30 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

HowiPepper: I only need two reasons:

1) Because the sun came up.
2) Because the sun went down.


3) the false dawn tricked you into thinking the sun came up but #2 still applies

25 Nov 2012 01:30 PM
foo monkey     
Bourbon is disgusting.

25 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
TofuTheAlmighty     

sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.


I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.

25 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
Evil Mackerel     

TuteTibiImperes: pounddawg:
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad

I have a couple unopened bottles of Booker's that I picked up for half off at a liquor store closing sale. It's by far my favorite bourbon, but nine times out of ten I end up reaching for a bottle of Ezra Brooks or Evan Williams when I'm making a drink, figuring I'm saving the good stuff for a special occasion.


I see a bottle of Woodford reserve in my future.

25 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
Anderson's Pooper    [TotalFark]  

TuteTibiImperes: liquor store closing sale


How the hell do you lose money running a liquor store to the point it has to close?

25 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.


I've found I prefer bourbon to the taste of peat.

25 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
Uchiha_Cycliste     
... but I swear to god I don't have a problem.

25 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
sigdiamond2000    [TotalFark]  

TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.


I've never tasted a bad bourbon. I've had a lot of sh*t scotch.

25 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
LoneDoggie     

foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.


More for me yay!

25 Nov 2012 01:41 PM
BGates     
Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

25 Nov 2012 01:41 PM
BGates     

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by putting anything other than ice in it?


The bottle won't last long at this rate.

25 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?


The same reason everyone should add mountain dew to scotch. It enhances the flavor. Nothing like a red bull and ten high to start off the morning

25 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
demaL-demaL-yeH    [TotalFark]  

sigdiamond2000: TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.

I've never tasted a bad bourbon. I've had a lot of sh*t scotch.


Tofu called it cold.

Back on topic:
Because it's bourbon.

25 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
demaL-demaL-yeH    [TotalFark]  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?


Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.

25 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
TuteTibiImperes    [TotalFark]  

Anderson's Pooper: TuteTibiImperes: liquor store closing sale

How the hell do you lose money running a liquor store to the point it has to close?


No clue. It was in FL as well, known to be populated with folks who aren't afraid of a drink. The owner also had a real estate business, I think he wanted to concentrate more on that. I made out like a bandit on the closing sale though - Booker's, Baker's, Laphroaig 10 year, Oban 14 year, Macallan Sherry Oak, and some assorted cheap mixer stuff.

25 Nov 2012 01:47 PM
mephisto6    [TotalFark]  

sigdiamond2000: TofuTheAlmighty: Because you're out of scotch?

Scotch: Whiskey Whisky for people who don't like whiskey.


See also, T-Bone: Steak for people who don't like rump roast.

25 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
BGates     

demaL-demaL-yeH: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.


Never liked blended whisk(e)y's without one ice cube.

25 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
FloydA     

Uchiha_Cycliste: ... but I swear to god I don't have a problem.


I have a problem. The bottle's almost empty.

25 Nov 2012 01:54 PM
cptjeff     

sigdiamond2000: TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.

I've never tasted a bad bourbon. I've had a lot of sh*t scotch.


That might be because you buy decent bourbons and shiat scotches. Lay off the Clan MacGregor.

25 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
semiotix     
I'm too drunk to care what I'm drinking?

A lifetime of alcoholism has burned off my taste buds?

My cousin doesn't look quite attractive enough yet?

Just kidding, Kentuckians. Hell, two of those things apply to me right now. (My cousin is plenty hot already. Yyyyyowza.)

25 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
Biff Spiffy    [TotalFark]  
Drat, now I'm jonesing for the good stuff

/ABC stores here, can't get after-hours liquor

25 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
MMmmmm, bourbon infused ice.

25 Nov 2012 02:02 PM
HowiPepper    [TotalFark]  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?


Why would you want to ruin a good bourbon by killing the taste with ice? Drink it neat man, like God intended!

25 Nov 2012 02:02 PM
Harry Freakstorm     
1. Monday
2. Tuesday
3. Wednesday
4. Thursday
5. Friday
6. Saturday
7. Sunday
8. The wife is on my a$$ again
9. The wife isn't on my a$$ for once
10. They changed the damn TPS cover sheets again.

25 Nov 2012 02:02 PM
KrispyKritter     
Granddad would visit at the holidays and he always brought a bottle of bourbon. I loved that man.

25 Nov 2012 02:03 PM
bigtotoro     

demaL-demaL-yeH: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.


Agreed. 20 year old Pappy don't mix.

25 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
HowiPepper    [TotalFark]  

demaL-demaL-yeH: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.


I drink my bourbon and Scotch neat, with the exception of my cask strength The Macallan, which I occasionally dribble a little room temperature spring water into. Anything other than that is a waste of good whisk(e)y!

25 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
Thanks for the Meme-ries     
11. Server's down

i291.photobucket.comView Full Size

25 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
BGates     

HowiPepper: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Why would you want to ruin a good bourbon by killing the taste with ice? Drink it neat man, like God intended!


Much like other blended whisk(e)y's, I like one ice cube.

25 Nov 2012 02:28 PM
John Buck 41    [TotalFark]  

Evil Mackerel: TuteTibiImperes: pounddawg:
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad

I have a couple unopened bottles of Booker's that I picked up for half off at a liquor store closing sale. It's by far my favorite bourbon, but nine times out of ten I end up reaching for a bottle of Ezra Brooks or Evan Williams when I'm making a drink, figuring I'm saving the good stuff for a special occasion.

I see a bottle of Woodford reserve in my future.


Great stuff. Evan W. for most days, WR for the rare special days. Birthday, 4th of July, etc.

25 Nov 2012 02:34 PM
tweek46420     
I like how everyone thinks the way they drink their whiskey is the best way

neat, on the rocks or anyway you chose to drink it, Whiskey is awesome

25 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
whatisaidwas     

foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.


You shut your whore mouth.

25 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
simplicimus     

whatisaidwas: foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.

You shut your whore mouth.


No, scotch is disgusting. Bourbon is nectar.

25 Nov 2012 02:53 PM
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  

foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.


That's because you keep shooting it like you're swallowing your boyfriend's load. Bourbon is meant to be enjoyed over time, like your mom.

25 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
demaL-demaL-yeH    [TotalFark]  

simplicimus: whatisaidwas: foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.

You shut your whore mouth.

No, scotch is disgusting. Bourbon is nectar.


Welcome to whore-mouth troll gray three.

/Bourbon is nectar. Otherwise ...

25 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
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