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   New black Friday deal: shoplift 2 DVD players from Walmart, get a free trip to the morgue

26 Nov 2012 12:01 AM   |   15873 clicks   |   NBC News
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Asa Phelps    [TotalFark]  
Those guys, and their bosses, and some of their bosses bosses, are probably gonna get fired.

25 Nov 2012 08:38 PM
Relatively Obscure    [TotalFark]  

Asa Phelps: Those guys, and their bosses, and some of their bosses bosses, are probably gonna get fired.


Fix'd.

25 Nov 2012 08:50 PM
revrendjim    [TotalFark]  
They steal your dvd players, you send one of theirs to the morgue. It's the Walmart way.

25 Nov 2012 08:54 PM
Asa Phelps    [TotalFark]  
seriously though. my sister was working in loss prevention for a major retailer ages ago. Was being groomed to take over the apartment. And then some thug at another store puts a shoplifter in the hospital over a few DVDs and it turns out he has priors. Corporate cleaned house. All new management for the entire region.

25 Nov 2012 09:09 PM
Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  
While I agree with those that say these people should be fired, I'd like to point out this didnt happen on Black Friday. It happened today.

25 Nov 2012 09:10 PM
Asa Phelps    [TotalFark]  
department. what the hell has happened when i can spell correctly but it's the wrong words?

25 Nov 2012 09:11 PM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet     
This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.

25 Nov 2012 09:50 PM
CreamFilling     

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.


Or an episode of SVU where they find out he was shoplifting them to entertain a fleet of teenage prostitutes, and at some point Ice T asks "What kind of sick bastard...?" The whole department is always surprised when it turns out to be some weird sex crime, even though presumably they're aware they work in SVU, where the crimes are promised to be particularly heinous.

25 Nov 2012 10:38 PM
super_grass     
Good, we need fewer Wal-Mart frequenters.

26 Nov 2012 12:08 AM
What_Would_Jimi_Do     
what else would expect being caught stealing? and everyone blames walmart? sounds like he wasn't in the best of health to begin with.

26 Nov 2012 12:08 AM
Vexed Thespian     

CreamFilling: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.

Or an episode of SVU where they find out he was shoplifting them to entertain a fleet of teenage prostitutes, and at some point Ice T asks "What kind of sick bastard...?" The whole department is always surprised when it turns out to be some weird sex crime, even though presumably they're aware they work in SVU, where the crimes are promised to be particularly heinous.


I assume we have both scene the same stand up bit by.... Nick mullaney I think? Great stuff

26 Nov 2012 12:12 AM
Misidea     
As a APA I'm getting a kick... 
Seriously though, the entire training process is about hands off, non physical contact.
These guys better have one amazingly good story, or getting fired is the least of their concerns.

26 Nov 2012 12:12 AM
bullsballs     
If the guys larynx was crushed, maybe the choke hold was a little tight.
or did they sit on the guy a little hard and put a rib through a lung?
can't wait for the autopsy!

26 Nov 2012 12:13 AM
KrispyKritter     

CreamFilling: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.

Or an episode of SVU where they find out he was shoplifting them to entertain a fleet of teenage prostitutes, and at some point Ice T asks "What kind of sick bastard...?" The whole department is always surprised when it turns out to be some weird sex crime, even though presumably they're aware they work in SVU, where the crimes are promised to be particularly heinous.


Hopefully Ice-T would let us in on some hip street phrase that all too soon would become over-used in suburbia. Within a few months even the nerds on The Big Bang Theory are dropping it on air, and by then Ice-T is well on to a whole other groove.

26 Nov 2012 12:13 AM
182     

revrendjim: They steal your dvd players, you send one of theirs to the morgue. It's the Walmart way.


yeah, he deserved to die and I hope he burns in hell!

26 Nov 2012 12:15 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
"No amount of merchandise is worth someone's life,"

Especially not two DVD players. What are they these days, $20?

26 Nov 2012 12:17 AM
Nothing To See Here     
Killer deals on Black Friday.
Think I'll send the Ex next year.

26 Nov 2012 12:17 AM
PaLarkin     
Maybe the Walmart loss prevention people overreacted. Maybe they didn't. Did the guy try to fight the store employees or not? The article doesn't say. Let's assume for the moment the Walmart people overreacted. The fact remains if they guy hadn't tried to steal the dvd players, he wouldn't be dead right now. He brought it on himself. Nobody made him go in there and steal.

I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief. And the evil corporation should just give stuff away and it's their selfishness that caused this. How many of you would be so generous if it were your stuff the guy was stealing?

26 Nov 2012 12:17 AM
Makh    [TotalFark]  
FTFA: both employees had been placed on paid leave.

Sweet, free vacation too.

26 Nov 2012 12:18 AM
you are a puppet     

CreamFilling: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.

Or an episode of SVU where they find out he was shoplifting them to entertain a fleet of teenage prostitutes, and at some point Ice T asks "What kind of sick bastard...?" The whole department is always surprised when it turns out to be some weird sex crime, even though presumably they're aware they work in SVU, where the crimes are promised to be particularly heinous.


I like how they're always shocked when the ADA explains they don't have enough evidence to charge the suspect. Apparently "This guy is going to be back out on the street!" spoken in an indignant tone doesn't count as evidence? This stupid country....

26 Nov 2012 12:18 AM
skinink     
He walked right through the door. Walked right through the door.Hey all right! If he gets by, it's his. His all his!

LET'S GO!

26 Nov 2012 12:18 AM
Makh    [TotalFark]  
I think he should have had a trial before he died.

Best Buy security rushed to see that I didn't shoplift something. They asked me to empty all of my pockets for them because I reached for my iphone once I was in the parking lot. I complied because I'm nice. But I wouldn't say their methods are flawless.

26 Nov 2012 12:21 AM
GORDON     
If only there were some way to not steal DVD players from Walmart.

None of us are safe.

26 Nov 2012 12:22 AM
teeny     
I've seen so many fights at the Walmart near my house that I think all the employees deserve hazard pay. (I worked as their Hallmark vendor for 2 years.)

/still sad that the employees didn't take the chance to band together and fight for a living wage

26 Nov 2012 12:23 AM
Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman     
"No amount of merchandise is worth someone's life, a wrongful death lawsuit" Gee said in the statement,

/FTFTFA

26 Nov 2012 12:24 AM
pyrotek85     

Misidea: As a APA I'm getting a kick... 
Seriously though, the entire training process is about hands off, non physical contact.
These guys better have one amazingly good story, or getting fired is the least of their concerns.


Yeah chokeholds are dangerous, it's not something you use to restrain someone, which as you mentioned they shouldn't be trying to do in the first place.

26 Nov 2012 12:24 AM
gweilo8888     

Relatively Obscure: Fi'x'd.


F'x'd.

26 Nov 2012 12:25 AM
Mister Peejay     

fusillade762: "No amount of merchandise is worth someone's life,"

Especially not two DVD players. What are they these days, $20?


It's not like they were DVDs, which are worth a quarter million each.

26 Nov 2012 12:25 AM
cwolf20     
Test your might.

Shopping Combat!

26 Nov 2012 12:26 AM
Mr. Eugenides     

PaLarkin: Maybe the Walmart loss prevention people overreacted. Maybe they didn't. Did the guy try to fight the store employees or not? The article doesn't say. Let's assume for the moment the Walmart people overreacted. The fact remains if they guy hadn't tried to steal the dvd players, he wouldn't be dead right now. He brought it on himself. Nobody made him go in there and steal.


We don't know that he stole anything. Perhaps he did purchase them and they forgot to disable the tag at checkout so the alarm went off and he refused to be accosted by a pimple faced kid.

26 Nov 2012 12:27 AM
gweilo8888     

PaLarkin: I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief. And the evil corporation should just give stuff away and it's their selfishness that caused this. How many of you would be so generous if it were your stuff the guy was stealing?


This. The hurr durr guntard and dogtard crowd are always in here baying about how they're going to shoot / sick their bloodthirsty mutt on anybody who much as steps on their property because self-defense, hero complex, constitutional amendments and FREEDUMZ!!!

Half of them would've taken this guy down for a pack of twinkies, let alone a couple bits of electronics. But the same folks will probably insist that this was totally different because it's stealing from somebody who's not them.

26 Nov 2012 12:28 AM
DownDaRiver     

Asa Phelps: department. what the hell has happened when i can spell correctly but it's the wrong words?


Vodka

26 Nov 2012 12:29 AM
othmar     
okay like why would you want 2 dvd players if your in the morgue?

26 Nov 2012 12:29 AM
davidphogan     

PaLarkin: Maybe the Walmart loss prevention people overreacted. Maybe they didn't. Did the guy try to fight the store employees or not? The article doesn't say. Let's assume for the moment the Walmart people overreacted. The fact remains if they guy hadn't tried to steal the dvd players, he wouldn't be dead right now. He brought it on himself. Nobody made him go in there and steal.

I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief. And the evil corporation should just give stuff away and it's their selfishness that caused this. How many of you would be so generous if it were your stuff the guy was stealing?


TL;DR is don't steal shiat? I'm okay with that.

26 Nov 2012 12:29 AM
bel4sucks     

PaLarkin: I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief.


You're not any of those things, you're just a pussy. But hey, you can be the one to put money on this guy's commissary while he sits in county for 5 years (on the taxpayers tit no less) because he killed someone who was shoplifting.

26 Nov 2012 12:31 AM
phunkey_monkey     
That thief would be alive if he didn't try to steal the DVD players.

On the other hand, if the it is proved that security officer inflicted any crushing injury of asphyxiation, he should be charged with manslaughter..,

26 Nov 2012 12:33 AM
Harry_Seldon     
So proud...

cdn.thedailybeast.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 12:36 AM
stuffy     
And of course he will have relatives. They always do.

26 Nov 2012 12:37 AM
brobinson2001     
I'm okay with this. Kinda sucks, though, that Walmart values money over their employees. Suspend their employees, blacklist the security guard, over protecting company assets, while at the same time creating situations the night after Thanksgiving where every year employees are trampled, assaulted, threatened, then fired when a customer complains...

26 Nov 2012 12:38 AM
dickfreckle     

PaLarkin: The fact remains if they guy hadn't tried to steal the dvd players, he wouldn't be dead right now. He brought it on himself. Nobody made him go in there and steal.


Do you realize what you're saying? You're blaming the victim in the same way saying a prostitute wouldn't have been choked to death if she weren't out there plying the trade. Both prostitution and shoplifting are crimes, but do they warrant death?

I will grant that we do not know if the employees were out of line or if it was an accident.

Nevertheless, the fact that you intimate that this is all his fault is pretty damn repugnant.

26 Nov 2012 12:38 AM
brobinson2001     
Looking through the other comments for viable quotes and comments...leaving dissatisfied. We're all drunk and incapable of using gooder grammer and spelling.

26 Nov 2012 12:41 AM
litespeed74     
Boy. I'm glad we no longer have to worry about offending other religions and people by saying merry Xmas.....look how the holidays have grown!

26 Nov 2012 12:47 AM
Tumunga     
His family just hit the Powerball jackpot.

I wish one of my dumb kids would love me enough to do that for me.

26 Nov 2012 12:47 AM
The My Little Pony Killer     
How stupid are the cops that they didn't notice the man was unconscious until they were cuffing him?

26 Nov 2012 12:47 AM
DownDaRiver     
Why weren't they charged?
Dude died, it says they they were on him when the cops arrived. Witnesses say a choke hold hold was/maybe used. That's assult if nothing else.
Do Wal-Mart employees get the same kind of pass that cops do when they kill someone?

26 Nov 2012 12:49 AM
fnordfocus    [TotalFark]  

bel4sucks: PaLarkin: I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief.

You're not any of those things, you're just a pussy. But hey, you can be the one to put money on this guy's commissary while he sits in county for 5 years (on the taxpayers tit no less) because he killed someone who was shoplifting.


I don't see anything in the story to suggest the guard might face charges.

26 Nov 2012 12:49 AM
fnordfocus    [TotalFark]  

DownDaRiver: Do Wal-Mart employees get the same kind of pass that cops do when they kill someone?


Notice the employees are on "paid leave." That's remarkably generous for a store that holds training sessions to help their employees apply for food stamps. Definitely they're getting treated like LEOs.

26 Nov 2012 12:51 AM
Buffalo77     
Hey thieves out there, if you steal something and get caught, don't resist apprehension. Just walk back to the store and wait to be picked up by the cops.

Because if you resist apprehension, then that's a fight and people get hurt in fights. Some times even dead.

You have been warned, if you steal, you may end up dead.

26 Nov 2012 12:53 AM
Cuchulane    [TotalFark]  
I know it's not directly related, but it does reaffirm my long held belief of:
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu*k Christmas!"

/30 year veteran of the war on Christmas

26 Nov 2012 12:53 AM
ExcaliburPrime111     
It sounds like the guy probably died of something unrelated, but his death will certainly be thoroughly investigated. If any employee had violent contact with him that led to his death, they should expect a manslaughter charge, not to mention the multi-million dollar wrongful death lawsuit that will be filed against Walmart and the employees.

26 Nov 2012 12:53 AM
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