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   Pen IS mightier

26 Nov 2012 05:30 AM   |   22128 clicks   |   CNN
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RodneyToady    [TotalFark]  
Well, you're sitting on a goldmine, Trebek.

25 Nov 2012 11:56 PM
quatchi    [TotalFark]  
Penis Mightier?

Oh no, yer not fooling me twice like that, Mr Internet.

What?

Pen is mightier?

Oh, well then, never mind.

...and the third weapon is a flashlight...

A fleshlight? This *is* one of those ads!

...loaded with up to three bullets.

I should probably read to the end of sentences before making comments.

a failed North Korean assassin

Unsuccessful assassin is unsuccessful?

Wonder who he was supposed to kpop.

blink*

/Hey, at least I refrained from making any gangnam style jokes, take comfort in small merices.

25 Nov 2012 11:58 PM
urban.derelict     

quatchi: Pen is mightier?

Oh, well then, never mind.

...and the third weapon is a flashlight...

A fleshlight? This *is* one of those ads!

...loaded with up to three bullets.

one

came (huh huh, huh) with a bullet -- wtf am i gonna do with a little vibrating bullet? I gave it to a friend.

26 Nov 2012 12:09 AM
SpikeStrip     
*yawn*

i780.photobucket.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 12:18 AM
GAT_00     
But is it mighter than an anal bum cover?

26 Nov 2012 12:23 AM
Pribar     
but if it contains a needle instead of ink is it still a pen?

26 Nov 2012 12:57 AM
hubiestubert    [TotalFark]  
Good to see that there is finally an upgrade to the Bulgarian umbrella. Though it doesn't sound like they were using ricin for their toxin, which is...good?

26 Nov 2012 01:38 AM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
Needle dick?

26 Nov 2012 01:57 AM
Darth_Lukecash    [TotalFark]  
Wow, this sort of puts the new Q in asshole territory....

26 Nov 2012 02:28 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  
That "poison bullet" is probably just a pellet of ricin.

It's been done before. By the CIA I'm pretty sure. If not, some group of people on "our side". They had an umbrella delivery mechanism with a small ricin pellet in the tip. Just walking down the street, bump into the mark with your umbrella, they come down with flu like symptoms, and viola, assassinated. It's a famous story.

The bullet flashlight is the only new thing, as the man in the article says, but even that's an idea that predates written history. Make your weapon look innocuous. Classy British gentlemen used to put lead in their walking sticks. This is just the modern version.

26 Nov 2012 03:19 AM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  

doglover: ...and viola, assassinated.


I've heard that violins can be even worse.

26 Nov 2012 03:50 AM
SnarfVader     

L.D. Ablo: doglover: ...and viola, assassinated.

I've heard that violins can be even worse.


It takes a real mandolin to use one.

26 Nov 2012 03:53 AM
Darth_Lukecash    [TotalFark]  

doglover: That "poison bullet" is probably just a pellet of ricin.

It's been done before. By the CIA I'm pretty sure. If not, some group of people on "our side". They had an umbrella delivery mechanism with a small ricin pellet in the tip. Just walking down the street, bump into the mark with your umbrella, they come down with flu like symptoms, and viola, assassinated. It's a famous story.

The bullet flashlight is the only new thing, as the man in the article says, but even that's an idea that predates written history. Make your weapon look innocuous. Classy British gentlemen used to put lead in their walking sticks. This is just the modern version.


You are thinking about the cae of Georgi Markov, A Bulgarian novelist who defected to the west, Markov wrote a lot of satire against his former country.

It is rumored that the Bulgarian government asked the KGB for help. The fatal dose was delivered by an associate of the Bulgarian Secret Police.

26 Nov 2012 04:02 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

SnarfVader: L.D. Ablo: doglover: ...and viola, assassinated.

I've heard that violins can be even worse.

It takes a real mandolin to use one.


When you get to hell, say cello to the devil.

26 Nov 2012 04:34 AM
othmar     
yeah it's been a bad year for pay raises.

26 Nov 2012 05:33 AM
INeedAName     

doglover: SnarfVader: L.D. Ablo: doglover: ...and viola, assassinated.

I've heard that violins can be even worse.

It takes a real mandolin to use one.

When you get to hell, say cello to the devil.


You shouldn't resort to such bass humor. But I'm not sure how you can fiddle your way out of this one. Perhaps you should hammer dhalsimar.

/Note sure that last one worked...

26 Nov 2012 05:36 AM
Zotfripper    [TotalFark]  
Penis

26 Nov 2012 05:38 AM
sexorcisst     
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 05:38 AM
saintwrathchild     

INeedAName: doglover: SnarfVader: L.D. Ablo: doglover: ...and viola, assassinated.

I've heard that violins can be even worse.

It takes a real mandolin to use one.

When you get to hell, say cello to the devil.

You shouldn't resort to such bass humor. But I'm not sure how you can fiddle your way out of this one. Perhaps you should hammer dhalsimar.

/Note sure that last one worked...


Cool story, dobro.

26 Nov 2012 05:40 AM
LordOfThePings     
I could take him.

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 05:44 AM
danielscissorhands     
Damn you Arrec Barrwin!

supportyourlocalgunfighter.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 05:48 AM
Mock26     
North Korea's problem is that they have no Seoul.

26 Nov 2012 05:48 AM
omnimancer28     
Anyone else surprised that the jail sentence for the assassin was only 4 years?

26 Nov 2012 05:53 AM
enry    [TotalFark]  
Needletooth?

26 Nov 2012 05:55 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

omnimancer28: Anyone else surprised that the jail sentence for the assassin was only 4 years?


Here's the thing about assassins.

They're not actually assassins until they try to kill someone. It's highly probable he was going to y'know kill a high priority target he was on the way to meet under allegedly false pretenses. But he didn't actually kill him.


It's not a violent crime to have a weapon. It's only a violent crime to USE one. Baseball bats are legal. You kill someone with that, THEN you're an assassin. Having the secret spy guns and poison needles is illegal, but not actually assassination or even attempted assassination.

26 Nov 2012 06:02 AM
Candygram4Mongo    [TotalFark]  

omnimancer28: Anyone else surprised that the jail sentence for the assassin was only 4 years?


A failed assassin? If they really wanted to punish him, just return him to North Korea...

26 Nov 2012 06:15 AM
danielscissorhands     
Hmm, Korean thread....

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 06:19 AM
jaybeezey     

Candygram4Mongo: omnimancer28: Anyone else surprised that the jail sentence for the assassin was only 4 years?

A failed assassin? If they really wanted to punish him, just return him to North Korea...


No shiat, they would parade him around as a hero for a week, then off to the salt mines.

26 Nov 2012 06:20 AM
Kuroutesshin     

jaybeezey: Candygram4Mongo: omnimancer28: Anyone else surprised that the jail sentence for the assassin was only 4 years?

A failed assassin? If they really wanted to punish him, just return him to North Korea...

No shiat, they would parade him around as a hero for a week, then off to the salt mines.


Well, he's probably a lot better off in South Korean prison but his whole family is probably going to 'disappear' so there's that.

26 Nov 2012 06:23 AM
Alonjar     

doglover: That "poison bullet" is probably just a pellet of ricin.

It's been done before. By the CIA I'm pretty sure. If not, some group of people on "our side". They had an umbrella delivery mechanism with a small ricin pellet in the tip. Just walking down the street, bump into the mark with your umbrella, they come down with flu like symptoms, and viola, assassinated. It's a famous story.


It is a famous story... except it was the Soviets and their friends, not "our side".

/KGB has also beamed microwaves into peoples residence to stealthily kill them over the course of a few months

26 Nov 2012 06:24 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

Alonjar: It is a famous story... except it was the Soviets and their friends, not "our side".


They are now, more or less. We're fighting their same old war in Afganistan RIGHT NOW. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

26 Nov 2012 06:31 AM
fusillade762     
forum.theorchidsource.comView Full Size


Approves.

26 Nov 2012 06:31 AM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
Remember this one from the "paleo-internet?"
s15.postimage.orgView Full Size


It's still around!
Link 

They specialize in "Wood", heh heh.

26 Nov 2012 06:53 AM
LordOfThePings     

Day_Old_Dutchie: They specialize in "Wood", heh heh.


Q: Can I provide my own wood?
A: In most cases we can handle your wood. We do require all shipments to be clean, free of parasites and pass all standard customs inspections.

26 Nov 2012 06:56 AM
greentea1985    [TotalFark]  

doglover: That "poison bullet" is probably just a pellet of ricin.

It's been done before. By the CIA I'm pretty sure. If not, some group of people on "our side". They had an umbrella delivery mechanism with a small ricin pellet in the tip. Just walking down the street, bump into the mark with your umbrella, they come down with flu like symptoms, and viola, assassinated. It's a famous story.

The bullet flashlight is the only new thing, as the man in the article says, but even that's an idea that predates written history. Make your weapon look innocuous. Classy British gentlemen used to put lead in their walking sticks. This is just the modern version.


Actually, the ricin pellet gun was a KGB weapon. It's only known use was when it was used to assassinate a BBC employee in London.

26 Nov 2012 06:58 AM
maram500     

fusillade762: Approves.


She's hawt, like a Lector cryptography machine.

Wait a minute--she works for SPECTRE now, doesn't she? shiat.

26 Nov 2012 07:11 AM
ChubbyTiger     

hubiestubert: Good to see that there is finally an upgrade to the Bulgarian umbrella. Though it doesn't sound like they were using ricin for their toxin, which is...good?


Based on the very limited information in the article, I'm guessing tetrodotoxin. Much faster than ricin, but rather easier to detect. Probably not a concern.

26 Nov 2012 07:13 AM
Satanic_Hamster     

doglover: omnimancer28: Anyone else surprised that the jail sentence for the assassin was only 4 years?

Here's the thing about assassins.

They're not actually assassins until they try to kill someone. It's highly probable he was going to y'know kill a high priority target he was on the way to meet under allegedly false pretenses. But he didn't actually kill him.


It's not a violent crime to have a weapon. It's only a violent crime to USE one. Baseball bats are legal. You kill someone with that, THEN you're an assassin. Having the secret spy guns and poison needles is illegal, but not actually assassination or even attempted assassination.


But given all the attacks over the years by North Korean agents/commandos, I would have thought they would have had a harsher sentence for an enemy agent. Unless they went light as part of some sort of deal and they plan to trade him?

26 Nov 2012 07:25 AM
Dahnkster     
www.otrcat.comView Full Size


You have no idea how hard it is finding film for my spy camera.

26 Nov 2012 07:32 AM
Fark In The Duck    [TotalFark]  
Once again, Tom Clancy authors the day's headlines!

26 Nov 2012 07:33 AM
Jackpot777     
Well the game's afoot, Trebek.

24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 07:34 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

Satanic_Hamster: Unless they went light as part of some sort of deal and they plan to trade him?


Also possible.

But don't forget, he didn't do anything and his intended target was ALSO North Korean. Not just North Korean, but one who sends balloon leaflet bombs over the border. Honestly, good for him but from Seoul' s point of view losing him would actually probably streamline the peace process. They don't say the road to hell is paved is good intentions for nothing. One of those balloons lands on the wrong lawn on the wrong day and people are gonna die.

26 Nov 2012 07:38 AM
Jake Havechek     
A lot of the morons on Freerepublic think Breitbart was murdered by an assassin using an umbrella injection or poison pen bullet. Of course Obama was behind it because Breitbart released the non shocking video of Obama speaking at college like 10 years ago.

26 Nov 2012 07:55 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

Jake Havechek: A lot of the morons on Freerepublic think Breitbart was murdered by an assassin using an umbrella injection or poison pen bullet. Of course Obama was behind it because Breitbart released the non shocking video of Obama speaking at college like 10 years ago.


It's just good science.

26 Nov 2012 07:58 AM
Jake Havechek     

doglover: Jake Havechek: A lot of the morons on Freerepublic think Breitbart was murdered by an assassin using an umbrella injection or poison pen bullet. Of course Obama was behind it because Breitbart released the non shocking video of Obama speaking at college like 10 years ago.

It's just good science.


When your life is dull and you're an idiot controlled by your emotions, conspiracy theories are a way of life.

26 Nov 2012 07:59 AM
Happy Hours     

Alonjar: doglover: That "poison bullet" is probably just a pellet of ricin.

It's been done before. By the CIA I'm pretty sure. If not, some group of people on "our side". They had an umbrella delivery mechanism with a small ricin pellet in the tip. Just walking down the street, bump into the mark with your umbrella, they come down with flu like symptoms, and viola, assassinated. It's a famous story.

It is a famous story... except it was the Soviets and their friends, not "our side".

Which side are you on, comrade?

/KGB has also beamed microwaves into peoples residence to stealthily kill them over the course of a few months



Citation needed.  Generally the KGB doesn't need to be so subtle.

26 Nov 2012 08:09 AM
pag1107    [TotalFark]  

ChubbyTiger: hubiestubert: Good to see that there is finally an upgrade to the Bulgarian umbrella. Though it doesn't sound like they were using ricin for their toxin, which is...good?

Based on the very limited information in the article, I'm guessing tetrodotoxin. Much faster than ricin, but rather easier to detect. Probably not a concern.


More likely succinylcholine or something similar, much easier to procure and quite fast.

26 Nov 2012 08:15 AM
BronyMedic     
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.
Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!
Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!
Exterminators: The Gun is good!
Zardoz: The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.

26 Nov 2012 08:18 AM
Satanic_Hamster     

Happy Hours: Citation needed. Generally the KGB doesn't need to be so subtle.


Someone on the internet claimed it once so it has to be true.

26 Nov 2012 08:27 AM
puckrock2000     

INeedAName: You shouldn't resort to such bass humor. But I'm not sure how you can fiddle your way out of this one. Perhaps you should hammer dhalsimar.

/Note sure that last one worked...


It didn't work because you spelled it wrong, and nobody knew what you were talking about.

/"dulcimer"

26 Nov 2012 08:39 AM
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