(full site)
Fark.com

Try out our new mobile site!


Back To Main
   Man attacked and has wrists slashed for his iPhone. At least that's what he's telling everyone

26 Nov 2012 09:30 AM   |   4419 clicks   |   Stuff.co.nz
Showing 1-28 of 28 comments
Refresh
sulco     
Is there an app for wrist slashing?

/with the tracks, not across

26 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
JackieRabbit     
See, because they are so unpopular, this never happens to Blackberry users. The best they can hope for is a kick in the nuts.

26 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
RubberBabyBuggyBumpers     
He's better off.

26 Nov 2012 09:37 AM
BronyMedic     
Why the hell would you slash someone's wrists if you wanted them to die? Any idiot would know that doesn't make sense.

Horizontal Wrist Lacerations are HORRIBLE if you want to kill someone, or yourself. It's slow capillary and venous bleeding, and it often just clots off and hurts like a biatch.

26 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
GUATAPOPO     
Bastard should have given them a cigarette. He kind of asked for it in his own right because of him lying and saying he didn't have any. Well he sure won that battle!

26 Nov 2012 09:39 AM
dv-ous     

JackieRabbit: See, because they are so unpopular, this never happens to Blackberry users. The best they can hope for is a kick in the nuts.


Usually two kicks. And then they won't even steal the phone!

26 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
farkingatwork     

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: He's better off.


Exactly. This should be his motivation to stop smoking.

26 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
itsfullofstars     
images.sodahead.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 09:51 AM
mod3072     
My wife just about cut the guy in the Verizon store over an iPhone yesterday. She went in to get us new phones, because ours suck. After about half an hour of looking at different phones, she found one she liked. The guy then tells her they are running a special and she get us iPhones for free (with a contract, of course). He spends another half an hour talking her into it. Finally she agrees and says she will take 2 iPhones. His response: "Oh, sorry, we don't have any in stock right now". Now she's mad, so she says "Fine, then get me 2 of those other ones that I liked". "Oh, we don't have any of those in stock, either." I thought she was going to burn the place down.

/CSB

26 Nov 2012 09:58 AM
BronyMedic     

itsfullofstars: [images.sodahead.com image 350x257]


No no no. Either cut in the groove behind the thumb down, or go deeper on the pinkie side and cut. Thumb you get the radial artery, and pinkie you get the ulnar artery. For extra bloody mess, use straight-edged knife.

26 Nov 2012 09:59 AM
itsfullofstars     

BronyMedic: itsfullofstars: [images.sodahead.com image 350x257]

No no no. Either cut in the groove behind the thumb down, or go deeper on the pinkie side and cut. Thumb you get the radial artery, and pinkie you get the ulnar artery. For extra bloody mess, use straight-edged knife.


While you are technically correct, no brooding goth is going to understand nor remember all that. Gotta keep it simple for the kids.

26 Nov 2012 10:05 AM
dv-ous     

mod3072: My wife just about cut the guy in the Verizon store over an iPhone yesterday. She went in to get us new phones, because ours suck. After about half an hour of looking at different phones, she found one she liked. The guy then tells her they are running a special and she get us iPhones for free (with a contract, of course). He spends another half an hour talking her into it. Finally she agrees and says she will take 2 iPhones. His response: "Oh, sorry, we don't have any in stock right now". Now she's mad, so she says "Fine, then get me 2 of those other ones that I liked". "Oh, we don't have any of those in stock, either." I thought she was going to burn the place down.

/CSB


Damn. She should have cut him.

26 Nov 2012 10:32 AM
JonnyG     
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that when these stories are posted to Fark they most always turn out to be hoaxes. I'll wait for the inevitable followup.

26 Nov 2012 10:32 AM
BronyMedic     

itsfullofstars: While you are technically correct


images4.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


The BEST kind of correct!

26 Nov 2012 10:41 AM
wildcardjack     
Are we sure Apple isn't just covering up what happens when the glass explodes out of the back of the 4? We know they saw the error of their ways in the 5, with a metal back.

/Hey look, 50% less glass to break!

26 Nov 2012 10:45 AM
LincolnLogolas     
I'd probably tell people that if I bought an iPhone too.

26 Nov 2012 10:48 AM
Mentalpatient87     

BronyMedic: itsfullofstars: [images.sodahead.com image 350x257]

No no no. Either cut in the groove behind the thumb down, or go deeper on the pinkie side and cut. Thumb you get the radial artery, and pinkie you get the ulnar artery. For extra bloody mess, use straight-edged knife.


Fark it, be a man, grab a meat cleaver, and just lop off a hand. That should do 'er.

26 Nov 2012 11:08 AM
911Jenny     
What kind of ass clown lies about the cigarettes but shows these people the iPhone?

"No I don't have spare change but check out all these hundred dollar bills I have!!"

Idiot.

26 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
AngryDragon     
rlv.zcache.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
MattMillerTime     
He should have had Siri get him out of the jam.

//Proud BB user

26 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
JeffDenver     
If I had to use an iPhone I think I would just slash my own wrists. Such overhyped pieces of crap.

26 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
DownDaRiver     
Maybe somebody just got tired of his douchebaggery and decided to see that he would never be able to hold his iPenis again

26 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
marius2    [TotalFark]  
Anyone else say "it must have been in Aucks" before they clicked the link?

What do I win?

26 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
bingethinker     
I see that certain competitors are now so desperate that they want to encourage violence against iPhone users. Shame on them, and shame on anybody who parrots their propaganda.

26 Nov 2012 02:09 PM
ThatGuyOverThere     
Schroedinger's Glory Hole; 2012-11-25 05:58:26 PM; Previous Thread Explain why you believe there are a bunch of mugger boogeymen out there ready to kill you for your iPhone. If someone just wants to fark you up for a few hundred dollars, you aren't going to die in the process. Don't be such a goddamn pussy. Close up encounters like you imagine are typically fought with a nice glass of man the fark up. 

Ta-Daa!

26 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
Cyno01    [TotalFark]  
cdn.smosh.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 05:46 PM
imtheonlylp     
Wonder if he'll upgrade to Suicide 9.0 mm after the holidays?

/will be obsolete after March

26 Nov 2012 06:10 PM
Hawnkee     

mod3072: My wife just about cut the guy in the Verizon store over an iPhone yesterday. She went in to get us new phones, because ours suck. After about half an hour of looking at different phones, she found one she liked. The guy then tells her they are running a special and she get us iPhones for free (with a contract, of course). He spends another half an hour talking her into it. Finally she agrees and says she will take 2 iPhones. His response: "Oh, sorry, we don't have any in stock right now". Now she's mad, so she says "Fine, then get me 2 of those other ones that I liked". "Oh, we don't have any of those in stock, either." I thought she was going to burn the place down.

/CSB


I'm sure the judge would have dismissed the case after hearing his reply about the other phones.

27 Nov 2012 07:11 AM
Showing 1-28 of 28 comments
Refresh
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined