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   Not News: Many "Floridians" sign petition to secede. Fark: Most of them are from out of state. You're doing it wrong

26 Nov 2012 11:12 AM   |   2914 clicks   |   WTSP
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PsyLord     
It's F-tards like them that got Rick Scott elected. Thanks a lot, @sses.

26 Nov 2012 11:14 AM
jake_lex    [TotalFark]  
Isn't that the case with all of those secession petitions on the White House website? They're all signed by people from out of state, for teh lulz?

What annoyed me the most about that story was that the "liberal media" reported it like some actual political movement was afoot, without pointing out some of the other just insanely dumb petitions on that site.

26 Nov 2012 11:16 AM
otto the bull     
All they really want to do is succeed, but do not know how to spell.

26 Nov 2012 11:17 AM
you have pee hands     

jake_lex: Isn't that the case with all of those secession petitions on the White House website? They're all signed by people from out of state, for teh lulz?


I just want to kick a couple states out of the country.

/for the passport stamps

26 Nov 2012 11:17 AM
stampylives     
Forward said he's telling fellow tea party members not to sign because he thinks those who do will end up on an enemies list.

this is what tea partiers think government is.

26 Nov 2012 11:17 AM
The Southern Logic Company     
Don Forward, who helped organize the Titusville Patriots, a tea party group, believes the system is "corrupt."

"But seceding? What does that gain you? I don't know if it accomplishes anything," he said, noting that the state, by itself, would have trouble sustaining its current standard of living.


Wow, what a reasonable and derp-free argument from a Tea Party person

Forward said he's telling fellow tea party members not to sign because he thinks those who do will end up on an enemies list.

"All that's doing is just giving the White House an opportunity to gather information on us," he said. "I really think that's what they'll do is use it against us. They'll say, 'Hey, you people tried to overthrow the government and we're going to get you.' "


Nevermind.

26 Nov 2012 11:17 AM
thespindrifter     
"Most of them are from out of state" ...

well, so are most "Floridians", so there's that.

26 Nov 2012 11:19 AM
BronyMedic     

The Southern Logic Company: Don Forward, who helped organize the Titusville Patriots, a tea party group, believes the system is "corrupt."

"But seceding? What does that gain you? I don't know if it accomplishes anything," he said, noting that the state, by itself, would have trouble sustaining its current standard of living.

Wow, what a reasonable and derp-free argument from a Tea Party person

Forward said he's telling fellow tea party members not to sign because he thinks those who do will end up on an enemies list.

"All that's doing is just giving the White House an opportunity to gather information on us," he said. "I really think that's what they'll do is use it against us. They'll say, 'Hey, you people tried to overthrow the government and we're going to get you.' "

Nevermind.


What Don Forward thinks will happen:

growabrain.typepad.comView Full Size


What will actually happen:

media.tumblr.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 11:19 AM
pkellmey     
To be honest, who wouldn't sign that petition for Florida?

26 Nov 2012 11:20 AM
Mr. Ekshun     
On the contrary, I think they're doing it right. I'd sign that petition and I don't live there at all.

26 Nov 2012 11:20 AM
Valiente     
I recently concluded that if Florida is indeed America's Wang, then the Keys are America's Foreskin.

/that is all.

26 Nov 2012 11:21 AM
TheGogmagog     
I'd sign a petition to have Florida secede .

26 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
ChipNASA     
s4.tinypic.comView Full Size

26 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
tekmo     
There's nothing "wrong" with outsiders warning Florida they're about to be put into time-out.

They relied on George "Rentboy" Rekers - the farking FOUNDER of the antigay hate group The Family Research Council - as Florida's expert witness on gays, and then elected, as GOVERNOR, the founder of the execrable HCA for-profit hospitals who presided over a MASSIVE Medicare billing fraud.

It's not funny anymore, Florida. Knock it off.

26 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
a61sun     

PsyLord: It's F-tards like them that got Rick Scott elected. Thanks a lot, @sses.


If, as the title suggests, they are mostly from out of state, how exactly did they get Scott elected?

...just wondering

26 Nov 2012 11:23 AM
Agent Smiths Laugh    [TotalFark]  

pkellmey: To be honest, who wouldn't sign that petition for Florida?


Hey, I like Florida. I just don't like some, ok maybe a lot, of its people.

26 Nov 2012 11:27 AM
david_gaithersburg     

thespindrifter: "Most of them are from out of state" ...

well, so are most "Floridians", so there's that.


.
Hey! I resemble that comment.

26 Nov 2012 11:28 AM
WhoopAssWayne     
No surprise whatsoever - liberal activists have been behind this succession bullsh*t since day one. They won the election, yet they are so insecure with themselves and their "me first, f*ck everyone else" freeloader ideology, they still resort to these kind of dumbass tactics. Typical liberal scumbags.

26 Nov 2012 11:29 AM
DubyaHater     
Let me just get my parents out of Florida (who are dying to leave anyway), and I'll sign that farker. There's nothing great about Florida that can't be found in the Outer Banks. Disney World is way past its prime. There's no reason to pay $90 to enter one of those parks.
/It's just flat and hot, the schools suck, and there's too much meth.

26 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
Pribar     

a61sun: PsyLord: It's F-tards like them that got Rick Scott elected. Thanks a lot, @sses.

If, as the title suggests, they are mostly from out of state, how exactly did they get Scott elected?

...just wondering


Snowbirds, elections are in the fall so they vote in Florida, fark things all up because, hey come spring they go back north where they don't have to live with the shiat they caused...

26 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
biyaaatci     

Valiente: I recently concluded that if Florida is indeed America's Wang, then the Keys are America's Foreskin.

/that is all.


Wrong. The keys, along with the Bahamas, and Turks and Caicos are what came out during the third shake after using the Antilles as a urinal.

26 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
Richard Saunders     

a61sun: PsyLord: It's F-tards like them that got Rick Scott elected. Thanks a lot, @sses.

If, as the title suggests, they are mostly from out of state, how exactly did they get Scott elected?

...just wondering


PsyLord appears to reside in Florida. Any further explanation needed?

It's F-tards like them that give the rest of us Floridians the FARKed reputation.

26 Nov 2012 11:34 AM
Antimatter     

WhoopAssWayne: No surprise whatsoever - liberal activists have been behind this succession bullsh*t since day one. They won the election, yet they are so insecure with themselves and their "me first, f*ck everyone else" freeloader ideology, they still resort to these kind of dumbass tactics. Typical liberal scumbags.


Projection much? there are indeed far righties who support this movement, given how many succession bumperstickers I see down here in texas, and how many pro-succession facebook posts I see from conservatives.

26 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
Raging Thespian    [TotalFark]  

pkellmey: To be honest, who wouldn't sign that petition for Florida?


TheGogmagog: I'd sign a petition to have Florida secede .


These things.

26 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
offmymeds     
FTA: The petition has more than 34,000 signatures. Most who signed listed Florida hometowns, though a large number identified themselves as out-of-state residents. The petition includes signers' first name and last initial as well as their hometown and the order in which they e-signed the document.

They're probably too stupid to know where they live, much less being able to read and write.

26 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
Delecrious     
Take a hint...

26 Nov 2012 11:39 AM
boinkingbill     
I would like to secede from the IRS. They're killing me!

26 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
Silverstaff     
Sounds more like a petition to expel Florida from the Union.

26 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
jake_lex    [TotalFark]  

Antimatter: WhoopAssWayne: No surprise whatsoever - liberal activists have been behind this succession bullsh*t since day one. They won the election, yet they are so insecure with themselves and their "me first, f*ck everyone else" freeloader ideology, they still resort to these kind of dumbass tactics. Typical liberal scumbags.

Projection much? there are indeed far righties who support this movement, given how many succession bumperstickers I see down here in texas, and how many pro-succession facebook posts I see from conservatives.


It's apparently been enough of a conservative movement in Texas that Rick Perry felt like he had to pay it lip service by making statements that kind of, sort of, sound like he supports secession, though phrased in a way he can easily walk back if need be. (Though he's been very quiet about these latest petitions.)

26 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
skullkrusher     

26 Nov 2012 11:47 AM
Dr. Whoof     

stampylives: Forward said he's telling fellow tea party members not to sign because he thinks those who do will end up on an enemies list.

this is what tea partiers think government is.


Because if they were in charge, it would be.

26 Nov 2012 11:50 AM
davidphogan     

stampylives: Forward said he's telling fellow tea party members not to sign because he thinks those who do will end up on an enemies list.

this is what tea partiers think government is.


To be fair it's how they would run it, so of course they expect that to happen.

26 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
AngryJailhouseFistfark     

Valiente: I recently concluded that if Florida is indeed America's Wang, then the Keys are America's Foreskin.

/that is all.


Nossir. The Keys are America's Glistening Ejaculate, warm and pearlescent.

26 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
and the funny thing is after seceding they'll still keep marijuana illegal

26 Nov 2012 11:54 AM
Mr. Breeze     
Out of staters signing a petition for Florida to secede?

I wonder what their Fark handles are?

26 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
theMightyRegeya     

jake_lex: Isn't that the case with all of those secession petitions on the White House website? They're all signed by people from out of state, for teh lulz?

What annoyed me the most about that story was that the "liberal media" reported it like some actual political movement was afoot, without pointing out some of the other just insanely dumb petitions on that site.


It's not just liberal media; my...uh...bright friends who supported Romney believe it to be true.

One that's excited about secession actually believes that Obama got more popular votes in Ohio than there are registered voters. He got something like 50.9% of the vote in Ohio. You do the math.

/but no, now that it's not working, let's pretend it's just the dumb libruls who thought it was real

26 Nov 2012 11:58 AM
T.M.S.     
But Macia said Republican and Democratic politicians shouldn't dismiss the petition movement as a fringe idea.

Yes they should.

26 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
mongbiohazard     
Rep. Ron Paul, the libertarian-minded Republican from Texas who ran for president, has given the movement a thumbs-up.

"Secession is a deeply American principle," he wrote on his congressional web site. "This country was born through secession. Some felt it was treasonous to secede from England, but those 'traitors' became our country's greatest patriots . . . If a people cannot secede from an oppressive government, they cannot truly be considered free."



Well, great job Ron Paul. Now I've pretty much lost the remaining respect I had for you. Secession is not a "deeply American principle". We fought a farking war over whether or not states had the right to secession and the answer was - across all fronts - a resounding "no".

26 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
pkellmey     

mongbiohazard: Rep. Ron Paul, the libertarian-minded Republican from Texas who ran for president, has given the movement a thumbs-up.

"Secession is a deeply American principle," he wrote on his congressional web site. "This country was born through secession. Some felt it was treasonous to secede from England, but those 'traitors' became our country's greatest patriots . . . If a people cannot secede from an oppressive government, they cannot truly be considered free."


Well, great job Ron Paul. Now I've pretty much lost the remaining respect I had for you. Secession is not a "deeply American principle". We fought a farking war over whether or not states had the right to secession and the answer was - across all fronts - a resounding "no".


I would doubt that if you asked 100 Americans, that even 50 would say that the government (or even just the courts in this case) held "deeply American principles". I think the people and the government are rarely on the same page at the same time.

26 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
SDRR     

DubyaHater: Let me just get my parents out of Florida (who are dying to leave anyway), and I'll sign that farker. There's nothing great about Florida that can't be found in the Outer Banks. Disney World is way past its prime. There's no reason to pay $90 to enter one of those parks.
/It's just flat and hot, the schools suck, and there's too much meth.


You are exactly right. Please get your relatives out and I hope you learned your lesson and will never return!

Florida SUCKS and should be avoided at all costs. I hope everyone heeds your warning!

26 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
Lee Jackson Beauregard     

Pribar: a61sun: PsyLord: It's F-tards like them that got Rick Scott elected. Thanks a lot, @sses.

If, as the title suggests, they are mostly from out of state, how exactly did they get Scott elected?

...just wondering

Snowbirds, elections are in the fall so they vote in Florida, fark things all up because, hey come spring they go back north where they don't have to live with the shiat they caused...


Spread your tiny wings and fly away,
And take your derp back with you
Where it came from on that day.

26 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
Valiente     

biyaaatci: Valiente: I recently concluded that if Florida is indeed America's Wang, then the Keys are America's Foreskin.

/that is all.

Wrong. The keys, along with the Bahamas, and Turks and Caicos are what came out during the third shake after using the Antilles as a urinal.


Having consulted a map which was also a placemat at a restaurant that serves dinner at 4 PM, I concede you your point.

26 Nov 2012 12:31 PM
Rambino     

Mr. Ekshun: On the contrary, I think they're doing it right. I'd sign that petition and I don't live there at all.


My thoughts exactly. In fact, I would be happy to sign secession petitions for Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, and a handful of other states as well.

26 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
Old_Fark     
Oh, hey, did they ever decide who they were voting for in the presidential election? Last I heard they were sill counting and re-counting.

26 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
I'm an excellent driver     
Florida - the only place where severe dementia and Alzheimers puts you in the top 3rd percentile of critical thinking.

26 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
tekmo     

mongbiohazard: Ron Paul: "This country was born through secession."


Someone should inform the representative from Randland that colonies don't "secede" from their controlling autocracies. Colonies demonstrate their disenchantment by rebellions, uprisings and revolts.

Secession, at its root, involves the withdrawal of a vested member of a republic's confederated political body. It was first applied in the context of a plebeian insurrection during the Roman Republic. That is to say, this country was born through rebellion, not secession. Words have meanings.

Indeed, for the most part, the founders had far more in common with ancient Rome's reformist Gracchi Brothers than they had in common with John C. Calhoun.

26 Nov 2012 12:44 PM
Myria     
Give it a few decades and it'll all be underwater anyway.

26 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
Sultan Of Herf     

DubyaHater: Let me just get my parents out of Florida (who are dying to leave anyway), and I'll sign that farker. There's nothing great about Florida that can't be found in the Outer Banks. Disney World is way past its prime. There's no reason to pay $90 to enter one of those parks.
/It's just flat and hot, the schools suck, and there's too much meth.


Please do get them out of here, and as many other geriatrics as you can. Get rid of the snowbirds and all the geriatrics that retired here from somewhere else, and keep them out...and we will gladly leave.

While I do not like FL at all, it appears im stuck living here. Moving my family of 4 out of the state isnt going to happen...Ive tried twice this year. One angle was beyond my financial means, the other failed because of the wifes cousin stole our place to stay. Also, in this economy its very difficult to find a job somewhere new, as they would rather hire current residents than people from out of state. So having as many of these old farks as possible GTFO would be a blessing to those of us who have to live and work here.


Pribar: a61sun: PsyLord: It's F-tards like them that got Rick Scott elected. Thanks a lot, @sses.

If, as the title suggests, they are mostly from out of state, how exactly did they get Scott elected?

...just wondering

Snowbirds, elections are in the fall so they vote in Florida, fark things all up because, hey come spring they go back north where they don't have to live with the shiat they caused...


This as well...another way these damned old farks screw year round residents.

26 Nov 2012 12:47 PM
DubyaHater     

Sultan Of Herf: DubyaHater: Let me just get my parents out of Florida (who are dying to leave anyway), and I'll sign that farker. There's nothing great about Florida that can't be found in the Outer Banks. Disney World is way past its prime. There's no reason to pay $90 to enter one of those parks.
/It's just flat and hot, the schools suck, and there's too much meth.

Please do get them out of here, and as many other geriatrics as you can. Get rid of the snowbirds and all the geriatrics that retired here from somewhere else, and keep them out...and we will gladly leave.

While I do not like FL at all, it appears im stuck living here. Moving my family of 4 out of the state isnt going to happen...Ive tried twice this year. One angle was beyond my financial means, the other failed because of the wifes cousin stole our place to stay. Also, in this economy its very difficult to find a job somewhere new, as they would rather hire current residents than people from out of state. So having as many of these old farks as possible GTFO would be a blessing to those of us who have to live and work here.


Unless you're having trouble finding a job as an ophthalmologist, my dad is probably not keeping you from finding a job.
Unless you're having trouble finding a job as an Interior Designer, my mother is probably not keeping you from finding a job.

26 Nov 2012 12:54 PM
AngryJailhouseFistfark     
When in the courfe of human eventf it becomef necefary for one phallic landmaff to difconnect itfelf from the parent maff, the latter having become odiouf in the sight of the former, then it shall be perfuant to the Natural Laws of God and Providence that they should part company, birthing, as it were, a new Nation.

We hold thefe truthf to be self-evident, that all heterofexual, white men with wealth or ignorance of science are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among thefe are Life, Liberty and the freedom to embrace their ftupidity, even to Flaunt it before the world, should it pleafe them so to do.

Such has the ftate of Florida so been made to suffer and weep and gnash its teeth that it is compelled to seek Independence from the Obama, to wit:

He has willfully remained an unrepentent Negro throughout his first and into his second Prefidentcy;

He has concealed his Muslin nature from all and sundry, despite repeated evidence presented by The Tea Party;

He has willfully and inashamedly maintained his status as a United Statef Citizen despite having been born abroad in darkeft Africa; Furthermore he has refufed to provide adequate evidence sufficient to diffuade the Floridians from their position that he is a Foreign man;

He has threatened, through his complete and utter inaction, to remove from uf our rightful and lawful property of Guns and Firearms;

He has maintained open congreff with Women and Homofexuals;

He has prevented the Lawfull Affembly of our Republican-lead Legiflation in Wafhington, D.C., from paffing laws which would make the Homofexual, Mexican, Non-Chinee Foreign Asian, Welfare Negros, and Mexicans of South America illegal, as is their rightful duty and Mandate, under Christian Jesus, to do.

He has ignored the generouf offer of Mr. Donald Trump to produce his college tranfcripts, that we may inspect and ignore their authenticity;

He has rejected and defied the admonifhments of Messrs. Beck, O'Reilly, and Coulter that he is a Communift;

He has refufed to order the affaffination of the dictator Fidel Caftro that the rightful owners of Cuba may reclaim their property;

We, therefore, the Reprefentatives of the States of Florida, in a secluded trailer park outside of Tampa, as well as in many locations throughout North America, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of Florida, solemnly publish and declare, That the dangling peninfula ought to be Free and Independent; That it may give itself a reach-around, and there should be Federal American Monies gifted in perpetuity to Florida without question or accountability; And otherwise Florida shall not be meddled with by the Illegitimate Goverment of the United States of America.

26 Nov 2012 01:00 PM
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