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   Florida man discovers that the Stand Your Ground law does not apply when you hit the firefighter in your yard in the head with a shovel

26 Nov 2012 10:14 PM   |   6929 clicks   |   WWSB ABC 7
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PhiloeBedoe    [TotalFark]  
Worst game of clue ever!
i675.photobucket.com

26 Nov 2012 08:48 PM
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CruiserTwelve    [TotalFark]  
The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.


Taser > firehose

26 Nov 2012 08:55 PM
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AirForceVet    [TotalFark]  
Fortunately for the firefighter, helmet > shovel.

26 Nov 2012 09:27 PM
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Because People in power are Stupid    [TotalFark]  
media.liveauctiongroup.net 

It's his superpower.

26 Nov 2012 09:57 PM
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dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
Charlotte County Sheriff's deputies arrested a Port Charlotte man last Friday after he hit a fire lieutenant in the helmet while trying to put out a fire behind the man's home.

Would someone please diagram that sentence for me?

26 Nov 2012 09:59 PM
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dalovindj     
I'm pretty sure it means I get to kill anyone anywhere so long as they are brown-ish and or wear suspicious clothes.

26 Nov 2012 10:18 PM
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untaken_name     

dahmers love zombie: Charlotte County Sheriff's deputies arrested a Port Charlotte man last Friday after he hit a fire lieutenant in the helmet while trying to put out a fire behind the man's home.

Would someone please diagram that sentence for me?


Sure.

English language <------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ---------------------> That sentence.

26 Nov 2012 10:18 PM
Reply
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     
The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.
Sounds to me like the Lieutenant was the one who "stood his ground"

26 Nov 2012 10:19 PM
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LoneVVolf     
Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?

26 Nov 2012 10:21 PM
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Shenanigans!     

CruiserTwelve: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.

Taser > firehose


Depends on the size of the hose.

26 Nov 2012 10:21 PM
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dalovindj     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.
Sounds to me like the Lieutenant was the one who "stood his ground"



"I will prevent you from hitting me in the head with that shovel by spraying you with this hose!"

:gets hit on head with shovel:

D'oh!

26 Nov 2012 10:21 PM
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diaphoresis     
i123.photobucket.comi123.photobucket.com

26 Nov 2012 10:21 PM
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GreyWolf007     
FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

/laughing too hard to conjure an appropriate joke

26 Nov 2012 10:22 PM
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Gyrfalcon     
OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.

26 Nov 2012 10:23 PM
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davidphogan     

GreyWolf007: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

/laughing too hard to conjure an appropriate joke


That was my favorite part as well.

26 Nov 2012 10:25 PM
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DarkSoulNoHope     
FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

26 Nov 2012 10:26 PM
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Fart_Machine     
Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

It was always burning since the world's been turning?

26 Nov 2012 10:26 PM
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skinink     
"Call dispatch and tell them I said .......OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!"

"Call dispatch, tell them you said, "Ow". Got it."

26 Nov 2012 10:27 PM
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Ronin_S     

DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.


I'm going to guess from his deer in the headlights mugshot that some form of pharmaceuticals was involved.

26 Nov 2012 10:27 PM
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Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     

Gyrfalcon: OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.


I think pretty much anything is a crime, so long as a cop phrases it that way.

"John Doe, 52, was arrested and charged with Preventing or Obstructing the Parking of a Minivan with Deadly Force." Or " Chantilla Watson, of Newport, was charged with Obstructing the Placement of a Beverage Within a Cupholder in an Aggressive Manner."

26 Nov 2012 10:28 PM
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Smackledorfer    [TotalFark]  

LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?


"he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"

26 Nov 2012 10:28 PM
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FunkOut    [TotalFark]  
Maybe he was just mad the firefighter wouldn't autograph his calendar.

26 Nov 2012 10:30 PM
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I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros     

Smackledorfer: LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?

"he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"


"Me? I'm just a lawnmower. You can tell me by the way I walk."

26 Nov 2012 10:35 PM
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Hobodeluxe     

Shenanigans!: CruiserTwelve: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.

Taser > firehose

Depends on the size of the hose.


that's what she said!

26 Nov 2012 10:35 PM
Reply
Hobodeluxe     

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Smackledorfer: LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?

"he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"

"Me? I'm just a lawnmower. You can tell me by the way I walk."


cdn.bleacherreport.net

I believe that was a reference to these guys.

26 Nov 2012 10:37 PM
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Gyrfalcon     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Gyrfalcon: OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.

I think pretty much anything is a crime, so long as a cop phrases it that way.

"John Doe, 52, was arrested and charged with Preventing or Obstructing the Parking of a Minivan with Deadly Force." Or " Chantilla Watson, of Newport, was charged with Obstructing the Placement of a Beverage Within a Cupholder in an Aggressive Manner."


Maybe; but I've never seen it phrased that way in my life. Unless it's just the freakish style of the article-writer, which would not surprise me either. I haven't seen anyone use that tortured syntax since high-school English class.

26 Nov 2012 10:38 PM
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red5ish     
img703.imageshack.us
Turner uttered.

26 Nov 2012 10:44 PM
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untaken_name     

DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.


You *don't* need a permit to start a fire. You can use a lot of different things for tinder. Mostly you just need an ignition source.

26 Nov 2012 10:47 PM
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Lunaville     

Ronin_S: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

I'm going to guess from his deer in the headlights mugshot that some form of pharmaceuticals was involved.


Methadone?

26 Nov 2012 10:49 PM
Reply
Smackledorfer    [TotalFark]  

Hobodeluxe: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Smackledorfer: LoneVVolf: Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner.

The guy obviously had a few screws loose, but "walking in an aggressive manner"? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?

"he was walking like a professional wrestler, specifically a bushwacker"

"Me? I'm just a lawnmower. You can tell me by the way I walk."



I believe that was a reference to these guys.


You are correct sir.

26 Nov 2012 10:58 PM
Reply
Mega Steve     
The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

www.globalnerdy.com

26 Nov 2012 11:10 PM
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whither_apophis     

red5ish: Turner uttered.


Either the mugshot studio is very well lit or he's on an opiate. Those are some constricted pupils.

/could be a nerve agent as well

26 Nov 2012 11:12 PM
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untaken_name     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.
Sounds to me like the Lieutenant was the one who "stood his ground"


Isn't it amusing how we sometimes cause our fears to come true? That's why I'm afraid of humping supermodels. That and the laughter.

26 Nov 2012 11:20 PM
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Amusement     
s11.postimage.org

26 Nov 2012 11:23 PM
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drgloryboy    [TotalFark]  

untaken_name: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

You *don't* need a permit to start a fire. You can use a lot of different things for tinder. Mostly you just need an ignition source.


Were I live you most certainly need a permit to start a fire unless it is in a commercial BBQ grill for the sole purpose of cooking. Other surrounding urban communities near me do not allow fires even with a permit. Having a huge bonfire (likely tended to by drunks) in the middle of densely housed neighborhood has a tendency to cause complaints, injuries, and more fires.

27 Nov 2012 12:02 AM
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DarthBart     

Shenanigans!: CruiserTwelve: The Lieutenant, fearing he was going to be struck with the shovel, sprayed Turner with the hose and Turner fell to the ground. Turner got up, began swinging his arms and hit the Lieutenant in the helmet with the shovel.

Deputies were called and when they arrived, saw Turner waving his arms, yelling, and walking in an aggressive manner. A deputy deployed a Taser and then handcuffed him.

Taser > firehose

Depends on the size of the hose.


Similar thing happened to my dad years ago. He was officer in charge of a scene where some girl had piled up her cheating bf's clothes on the bed and set fire to them. Fire crew rolled up and started extinguishing it. Crazy lady came after the hose crew with a crowbar.

Dad ordered the 2 1/2" line turned on her.

Even a 1 1/2 line can knock someone on their ass if you run enough pressure.

27 Nov 2012 12:03 AM
Reply
Brainsick     

drgloryboy: untaken_name: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

You *don't* need a permit to start a fire. You can use a lot of different things for tinder. Mostly you just need an ignition source.

Were I live you most certainly need a permit to start a fire unless it is in a commercial BBQ grill for the sole purpose of cooking. Other surrounding urban communities near me do not allow fires even with a permit. Having a huge bonfire (likely tended to by drunks) in the middle of densely housed neighborhood has a tendency to cause complaints, injuries, and more fires.


I think the point was semantic, I could start a fire right now by setting my lighter to these curtains, no permit required. Now a legal fire...that's a whole 'nother story.

27 Nov 2012 12:07 AM
Reply
untaken_name     

drgloryboy: untaken_name: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

You *don't* need a permit to start a fire. You can use a lot of different things for tinder. Mostly you just need an ignition source.

Were I live you most certainly need a permit to start a fire unless it is in a commercial BBQ grill for the sole purpose of cooking. Other surrounding urban communities near me do not allow fires even with a permit. Having a huge bonfire (likely tended to by drunks) in the middle of densely housed neighborhood has a tendency to cause complaints, injuries, and more fires.


www.templeofcats.com

27 Nov 2012 12:07 AM
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0Icky0     
Goddamn, I remember my days as a land surveyor when we would have to dig in people's yards to expose the iron pipes that mark the corners.
Several times a year we could get people storming out of the house with guns in their hands.
I wouldn't want to do that job in Florida.

27 Nov 2012 12:11 AM
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neenerist     
i47.tinypic.com

27 Nov 2012 12:17 AM
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

untaken_name: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

You *don't* need a permit to start a fire. You can use a lot of different things for tinder. Mostly you just need an ignition source.


Actually a lot of cities have laws against burning stuff in your backyard. Gone are the days of "burn barrels" that were common in my youth.


And there's likely a good reason against burning stuff in your backyard. Doing so by piling up what you're wanting to get rid of and burning it not only puts your home in risk of catching fire, but the homes of your neighbors too.

27 Nov 2012 12:19 AM
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shiattynick     
Well. it was his fire

/he started it
//would have all worked out
///if not for those meddling kids firefighters

27 Nov 2012 12:19 AM
Reply
Brainsick     

Bathia_Mapes: untaken_name: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

You *don't* need a permit to start a fire. You can use a lot of different things for tinder. Mostly you just need an ignition source.

Actually a lot of cities have laws against burning stuff in your backyard. Gone are the days of "burn barrels" that were common in my youth.


And there's likely a good reason against burning stuff in your backyard. Doing so by piling up what you're wanting to get rid of and burning it not only puts your home in risk of catching fire, but the homes of your neighbors too.


static.desktopnexus.com

27 Nov 2012 12:20 AM
Reply
Wile_E._Quixote     
I can tell you for sure that in the State of Georgia a fire hose is considered a weapon. Using one on a person is considered assault. This goes back to the civil rights days.

27 Nov 2012 01:04 AM
Reply
StoPPeRmobile     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Gyrfalcon: OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.

I think pretty much anything is a crime, so long as a cop phrases it that way.

"John Doe, 52, was arrested and charged with Preventing or Obstructing the Parking of a Minivan with Deadly Force." Or " Chantilla Watson, of Newport, was charged with Obstructing the Placement of a Beverage Within a Cupholder in an Aggressive Manner."


You forgot resisting arrest.

27 Nov 2012 01:07 AM
Reply
pete1729     
While I hate casual tasering, in this case it is entirely appropriate.

27 Nov 2012 01:13 AM
Reply
Despair of the Cheese     

dahmers love zombie: Charlotte County Sheriff's deputies arrested a Port Charlotte man last Friday after he hit a fire lieutenant in the helmet while trying to put out a fire behind the man's home.

Would someone please diagram that sentence for me?


Yeah, I'm trying to figure out from what cereal box the writer got their English degree. Egads.

/I need more coffee
//Or my own fire
//Pyro

27 Nov 2012 01:37 AM
Reply
schoolbread     

Lunaville: Ronin_S: DarkSoulNoHope: FTA: Turner uttered that he started the fire and it was his.

I wonder if he's one of those "sovereign citizens" who believes he doesn't need a permit to start a fire to destroy items that are different than wood.

I'm going to guess from his deer in the headlights mugshot that some form of pharmaceuticals was involved.

Methadone?


Loves me some methadone.

Unfortunetly for the rest of my life

27 Nov 2012 01:42 AM
Reply
Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

Wile_E._Quixote: I can tell you for sure that in the State of Georgia a fire hose is considered a weapon. Using one on a person is considered assault. This goes back to the civil rights days.


I have a feeling that there would likely be some leniency if the firefighter was using the fire hose to repel someone attacking them with a shovel. I'm sure even Georgia has laws allowing self defense in situations like this.

27 Nov 2012 01:46 AM
Reply
Gyrfalcon     

StoPPeRmobile: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Gyrfalcon: OK, that gets the prize for Worstly Grammaticized Article Written in Past Tense Presently I've Seen This Year.

The Sheriff's Department wins First Runner up for Most Weirdly Specific Charge On Record for this:

Charged with Aggravated Battery on a Firefighter with a Deadly Weapon (Shovel), and Preventing or Obstructing Extinguishment of a Fire was 44-year-old Gregory Sean Turner.

I think pretty much anything is a crime, so long as a cop phrases it that way.

"John Doe, 52, was arrested and charged with Preventing or Obstructing the Parking of a Minivan with Deadly Force." Or " Chantilla Watson, of Newport, was charged with Obstructing the Placement of a Beverage Within a Cupholder in an Aggressive Manner."

You forgot resisting arrest.


In this case, it would be written: Arrested While Refusing to Obey the Lawful Order of An Officer to Submit to Arresting of Him.

Now that I think of it, we may have discovered Meow said the dog's day job.

27 Nov 2012 02:00 AM
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