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   Drum roll, please. This year's total on what it will cost you for the 12 Days of Christmas: $107,300

27 Nov 2012 02:56 AM   |   2792 clicks   |   Hartford Courant
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BarkingUnicorn     
Milking maids get only minimum wage?

26 Nov 2012 10:57 PM
Demetrius    [TotalFark]  

BarkingUnicorn: Milking maids get only minimum wage?


Depends on what they're milking and what they look like. That number could go sky high.

26 Nov 2012 10:58 PM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  
I had a totally different scenario in mind for the maids-a-milkin' and the ladies dancin'. Similar price I guess, maybe even cheaper.

27 Nov 2012 03:00 AM
ElwoodCuse     
This is a member of the Hall of Shame for "pointless stories that somehow get repeated by news outlets every year"

Other inductees include "March Madness wastes $100 trillion of worker productivity" and "college freshmen don't know what floppy discs are, don't you feel old now?"

27 Nov 2012 03:04 AM
signaljammer     
Banal, clever when it came out in the sixties, but wretchedly trite by now.

27 Nov 2012 03:05 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
They're paying way too much for some of those things. I'm not paying 100 bucks for a french hen.

27 Nov 2012 03:19 AM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  

AverageAmericanGuy: They're paying way too much for some of those things. I'm not paying 100 bucks for a french hen.


True dat. And pigeons are free. You can pick up a canary for $30, so four calling birds is only $120.

27 Nov 2012 03:21 AM
Mitch Mitchell     
Oh,that. I thought a New Jersey HouseWife was needing a murdering.

27 Nov 2012 03:21 AM
C18H27NO3     
8 for $58 or 1 for $7.25?

Cheapest.fad.ever

27 Nov 2012 03:22 AM
robohobo     
I've already spent more than that for Christmas already, and I haven't bought any of that shiatt.

27 Nov 2012 03:26 AM
Teknowaffle    [TotalFark]  
fark that, how much does the crap that gold-digger asks for in "Santa Baby" cost?

27 Nov 2012 03:26 AM
Mock26    [TotalFark]  
''Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."


There are no "five golden rings." Song is a lie.

27 Nov 2012 03:31 AM
maddermaxx     
I do not believe they're factoring in the cost of getting real lords-a-leaping, and using faux leaping lords ruins the entire effect. Of course, inflationary pressures have kept lords-a-leaping out of the comfortable price range of ordinary folk, but you shouldn't shirk on quality when it comes to these things I say.

/I blame Obama for not developing lords-a-leaping supplies over here.

27 Nov 2012 03:38 AM
thisiszombocom     
Fiiiiiiiiiiive golden riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings

27 Nov 2012 03:45 AM
gravebayne2     
i've watched enough 80's movies to know you could probably head to your local 'urban' area and get a much cheaper rate on all that crap. May not be as fancy, but hey, It's christmas!

27 Nov 2012 03:47 AM
Mock26    [TotalFark]  

maddermaxx: I do not believe they're factoring in the cost of getting real lords-a-leaping, and using faux leaping lords ruins the entire effect. Of course, inflationary pressures have kept lords-a-leaping out of the comfortable price range of ordinary folk, but you shouldn't shirk on quality when it comes to these things I say.

/I blame Obama for not developing lords-a-leaping supplies over here.


Blame President Obama? Try blaming the founding fathers for not making this country a monarchy!

27 Nov 2012 03:48 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

thisiszombocom: Fiiiiiiiiiiive golden riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings


Five gold rings, actually.

27 Nov 2012 03:58 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

AverageAmericanGuy: thisiszombocom: Fiiiiiiiiiiive golden riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings

Five gold rings, actually.


Nice try not smart guy.

5 Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.

Also, it's easier to sing.

27 Nov 2012 04:10 AM
powhound     
Idiots....supply and demand. With this economy those maids that are milking will come practically free!

But $1000 swans? I am in the wrong business.

27 Nov 2012 04:19 AM
NobleHam     

Teknowaffle: fark that, how much does the crap that gold-digger asks for in "Santa Baby" cost?


Real sable coat = $2000
54 light blue convertible = varies a lot, around $20,000 probably
Low-end yacht = around $300,000
Platinum mine = I found a small one on sale for $250,000
Duplex in LA = Let's say around $600,000 average
Tiffany's christmas ornaments = $50-150 each, so let's say $2000 to fill a tree
A ring = we'll go cheap here, $100

For a grand total of $1,174,100 to please Earth Kitt this Christmas.

27 Nov 2012 04:19 AM
get real     

HotWingAgenda: AverageAmericanGuy: They're paying way too much for some of those things. I'm not paying 100 bucks for a french hen.

True dat. And pigeons are free. You can pick up a canary for $30, so four calling birds is only $120.


They are colly birds, so four blackbirds at a cost of 0.

27 Nov 2012 05:26 AM
sexorcisst     
Not to mention the cost of having to clean up all that bird shiat.

27 Nov 2012 05:28 AM
Old enough to know better     
And whacky morning radio shows all over America have their material for tomorrow.

Sick of this, and radar tracking of Santa on Christmas eve every goddamn year.

27 Nov 2012 05:28 AM
illannoyin     
My true love would know that I don't want any of that crazy shiat.

/A new guitar amp however
//And fiiiiive sets of striiiiiiiings!

27 Nov 2012 05:33 AM
Feral_and_Preposterous     

Mock26: ''Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."

There are no "five golden rings." Song is a lie.


Both 7 and 9 contain 5. The song does not state you have to own all rings of a golden subtype, just 5, and in no place does it state that they even have to be similar--Wormtongue.

27 Nov 2012 05:39 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

doglover: AverageAmericanGuy: thisiszombocom: Fiiiiiiiiiiive golden riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings

Five gold rings, actually.

Nice try not smart guy.

5 Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.

Also, it's easier to sing.


I will defer to Miss Piggy.

Link

27 Nov 2012 05:42 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

AverageAmericanGuy: I will defer to Miss Piggy.


You're payin' for it.

27 Nov 2012 06:00 AM
Demetrius    [TotalFark]  
What about donuts? You forgot donuts. You coulda gone to one of those good donut shops where they give you 13 and then it coulda been the 13 days of Christmas.

27 Nov 2012 06:52 AM
Tanthalas39     
Eight maids a milking, seven maids a milking, six maids a milking, fiiiiive maiiiiiiiids a milkiiiiiing

27 Nov 2012 07:23 AM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
Don't forget
s12.postimage.orgView Full Size

or
s8.postimage.orgView Full Size

or
s16.postimage.orgView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 07:36 AM
fruitloop     
i171.photobucket.comView Full Size


fiiiiiiiive roast beef sandwiches!

27 Nov 2012 07:50 AM
RobSeace    [TotalFark]  

thisiszombocom: Fiiiiiiiiiiive golden riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings


i.ytimg.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 07:50 AM
To The Escape Zeppelin!     

HotWingAgenda: You can pick up a canary for $30.


Where? I want a canary but they go for about $150 around here. Big demand for them at the coal mine I guess.

27 Nov 2012 08:18 AM
Joshua5     
I was told the 5 Gold rings was originally: Ring-necked Pheasants
More birds...

27 Nov 2012 08:25 AM
sseye     

Old enough to know better: And whacky morning radio shows all over America have their material for tomorrow.

Sick of this, and radar tracking of Santa on Christmas eve every goddamn year.


Charlotte Denon, New York 1

27 Nov 2012 08:42 AM
GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve     
Eight comic books,
Seven packs of 24, (nice gift)
Fiiiiiiive golden tuques!
Four pounds of back bacon,
Three french toast,
Two turtle-necks,
and a beer in a tree.
vreaa.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

I got them all (except the beer) for under $100 at Giant Tiger. Now to the Beer Store, eh!

27 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
...

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with Cheese

27 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
Mock26    [TotalFark]  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Eight comic books,
Seven packs of 24, (nice gift)
Fiiiiiiive golden tuques!
Four pounds of back bacon,
Three french toast,
Two turtle-necks,
and a beer in a tree.
[vreaa.files.wordpress.com image 450x348]
I got them all (except the beer) for under $100 at Giant Tiger. Now to the Beer Store, eh!


What about the six-pack of Tuborg?

27 Nov 2012 02:28 PM
GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve     
Tuborg is Danish, it's "two-four". Somehow I missed the packs of smokes though. I must have quit so hard I don't even acknowledge their existence.

27 Nov 2012 03:14 PM
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