Cue the squirty-poop jokes. . . .

My wife and I just got this last night. I have been able to hold in, but not my poor wife.

I'd vomit all over her.

Who are the Britons?

I always follow the Two Fat Ladies' advice on food prep: wrap it in a fat net.

Poor lil English feller...

Mad Scientist: Who are the Britons?

People of Britain, you need to eat more vegetables. Peas alone are not sufficient.

j0e_average: People of Britain, you need to eat more vegetables. Peas alone are not sufficient.

Never!

Mad Scientist: Who are the Britons?

The Slush: Mad Scientist: Who are the Britons?

[i.imgur.com image 302x227]

The Slush: Mad Scientist: Who are the Britons?

Welcome to Fark, where the obscure is obvious, and the obvious, obscure.

/there's some lovely filth over here, Dennis!

j0e_average: People of Britain, you need to eat more vegetables. Peas alone are not sufficient.

Where did this come from?

Having been raised on British food I concur with the headline.

I'm sure it's simply a normal reaction to British cuisine.
- dmeyer40 , tampa, United States, 27/11/2012 12:43
Click to rate Rating 23

Subby?

macadamnut: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x556]

I'd vomit all over her.


What kind of person prepares to vomit with the seat down?

gmoney101: j0e_average: People of Britain, you need to eat more vegetables. Peas alone are not sufficient.

Where did this come from?

Good sensimilla.

Sybarite

What kind of person prepares to vomit with the seat down?


One who is posing for a photo and is not actually about to vomit.

Or one who doesn't want to lean on the cold porcelain.

Ironic that the first hottie I've seen in a Daily Mail article isn't labeled as a hottie..

On the plus side, its a great way to avoid gaining all those extra holiday pounds.

/ain't no diet like a vomit virus

A primer on English cooking:

1. Cooking is the process for driving flavor and green color from vegetables, moisture from meat, and exists purely to merge your foods together into a greyish brown mass.

2. Carrots are the primary ingredient.

3. Meat should be used, but should be boiled, then braised, then slow-cooked until it is brown on the outside and a deep rich grey color on the inside.

4. Wherever possible, try to put offal into your dish.

5. If meat is of low quality or you aren't sure what kind of animal it might be from, grind it, add some fennel, and make sausages.

Toddicusrex: Ironic that the first hottie I've seen in a Daily Mail article isn't labeled as a hottie..

"Hottie" in a headline is a warning. You should always expect that if you see it, you may get something vomit-inducing.

England, please wash your goddamned hands.

ChaoticLimbs: A primer on English cooking:

1. Cooking is the process for driving flavor and green color from vegetables, moisture from meat, and exists purely to merge your foods together into a greyish brown mass.

2. Carrots are the primary ingredient.

3. Meat should be used, but should be boiled, then braised, then slow-cooked until it is brown on the outside and a deep rich grey color on the inside.

4. Wherever possible, try to put offal into your dish.

5. If meat is of low quality or you aren't sure what kind of animal it might be from, grind it, add some fennel, and make sausages.

You've never actually been there, have you?

Mad Scientist: Who are the Britons?

We all are, and I am your king!

FYI most curries were invented in the UK by Asian immigrants, much like hamburgers were invented in America by German immigrants. Americans generally do not consider hamburgers a foreign delicacy...

This is what happens when Britons put down the curry and eat their own country's food for a change

This is what happens when the British eat a curry one level above the one they are used to.

Ugh. I'm off to Madagascar while the ports are still open.

Sybarite:

What kind of person prepares to vomit with the seat down?

The kind of person who needs to lean on his forearms. More surface area and it's usually cleaner if you're a normal half-domesticated guy.

Above : Average Gastro Pub Fare

Below Where I had my Birthday meal....







But yes of course you are right, British Food is all appalling, badly cooked and a health risk, how on earth are we still alive.....

/and I have all my own teeth.....
// and I hate tea.....
/// and don't live in a Castle
//// Obviously not a good Brit..... Opps

Englebert Slaptyback: Sybarite

What kind of person prepares to vomit with the seat down?


One who is posing for a photo and is not actually about to vomit.


So she's a vomit model?

Cue the people who got this virus even though they got a flu shot and will cite this in the future as a reason not to get a flu shot.

Sybarite: macadamnut: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x556]

I'd vomit all over her.


What kind of person prepares to vomit with the seat down?

One who lives in a house with a male. The seat is always cleaner than the bowl rim. Always.

Jaxotea:
But yes of course you are right, British Food is all appalling, badly cooked and a health risk, how on earth are we still alive.....

/and I have all my own teeth.....
// and I hate tea.....
/// and don't live in a Castle
//// Obviously not a good Brit..... Opps


You really had me going there, too.

Jaxotea: [pubsngrub.com image 384x273]

[swaninnfarnborough.co.uk image 247x172]

[static.guim.co.uk image 220x132]

Above : Average Gastro Pub Fare

Below Where I had my Birthday meal....

[www.thepapermills.co.uk image 800x300]

[www.thepapermills.co.uk image 800x300]

[www.thepapermills.co.uk image 200x250]

But yes of course you are right, British Food is all appalling, badly cooked and a health risk, how on earth are we still alive.....

/and I have all my own teeth.....
// and I hate tea.....
/// and don't live in a Castle
//// Obviously not a good Brit..... Opps

Oi! What are you doing? You know the rules, when we go on Fark, it's an American website so we have to put on our fake joke bad teeth tooth, speak wivout pronouncin leh-ahs, mention sweepin' chimneys and hows ya father. Our food is boiled to no flavour, and we LOVE TEA, I can't stress that last one enough.

fo_sho!: ChaoticLimbs: A primer on English cooking:

1. Cooking is the process for driving flavor and green color from vegetables, moisture from meat, and exists purely to merge your foods together into a greyish brown mass.

2. Carrots are the primary ingredient.

3. Meat should be used, but should be boiled, then braised, then slow-cooked until it is brown on the outside and a deep rich grey color on the inside.

4. Wherever possible, try to put offal into your dish.

5. If meat is of low quality or you aren't sure what kind of animal it might be from, grind it, add some fennel, and make sausages.

You've never actually been there, have you?

Yes. And he was being benevolent. The food is even worse than portrayed.

Slaxl: Jaxotea: [pubsngrub.com image 384x273]

[swaninnfarnborough.co.uk image 247x172]

[static.guim.co.uk image 220x132]

Above : Average Gastro Pub Fare

Below Where I had my Birthday meal....

[www.thepapermills.co.uk image 800x300]

[www.thepapermills.co.uk image 800x300]

[www.thepapermills.co.uk image 200x250]

But yes of course you are right, British Food is all appalling, badly cooked and a health risk, how on earth are we still alive.....

/and I have all my own teeth.....
// and I hate tea.....
/// and don't live in a Castle
//// Obviously not a good Brit..... Opps

Oi! What are you doing? You know the rules, when we go on Fark, it's an American website so we have to put on our fake joke bad teeth tooth, speak wivout pronouncin leh-ahs, mention sweepin' chimneys and hows ya father. Our food is boiled to no flavour, and we LOVE TEA, I can't stress that last one enough.

Terribly sorry old chap, don't know what in the blazes came over me.
Time for some tea and crumpets I think.
Tally ho!

/am I doing it right?

My entire family got it.

The two eldest kids woke up to discover they had redecorated their bedroom; my wife and inevitably got exposed to the bug when stripping them down, showering them, stripping beds etc. Our toddler got it two days later.

Having been softened up by 4 days without sleep, my wife finally succumbed and spend a further night up, this time with her own head down the loo.

I thought I'd dodged the bullet, but no, two days after that it was my turn. I vomited so hard I blew blood vessels in my eyes, and you could have run my shiat clean through a sieve.

One week later I'm still not 100% as my digestion recovers.

It's one bastard of a virus and anyone with kids does not stand a chance............

Curry is their own people's food. It was invented by British people in India.

mungo:

One week later I'm still not 100% as my digestion recovers.


Perhaps you'd benefit from a faecal transplant?

nice tits on the hoe, that's not an english toilet

/seen english toilets
//they're cleaner than your mom

prjindigo: ...that's not an english toilet...

By gawd, you are right! I hadn't even noticed that. I suppose the first clue should have been that the woman is far too attractive to be British. *ducks, runs*

Ugh, norovirus. We get big outbreaks of this in NZ too. Nasty.

However, in the end it's just a fancy name for gastroenteritis AKA "stomach flu" or "vomiting bug". Norovirus sounds scarier, though.

/It usually kicks off when sewage comes into contact with food
//Just think about that
///Be careful about what raw seafood you eat