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   Cossacks are back, and they want to be Russia's Texas Rangers. "We're like Chuck Norris"

27 Nov 2012 01:34 PM   |   5613 clicks   |   Yahoo
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FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
Whiny Pussies that are easily defeated by skinny Asian guys?

27 Nov 2012 12:55 PM
Lumpmoose     
The Kremlin is seeking to use the once-feared paramilitary squads in its new drive to promote conservative values and appeal to nationalists.
...
The conservative Cossacks have increased their political activity in response to an impromptu protest that feminist punk rockers Pussy Riot staged in Moscow's main cathedral in February. Groups of Cossacks recently barred visitors from entering a Moscow art exhibition that daubed Pussy Riot's trademark balaclavas over Orthodox Christian icons, and they led a successful campaign to cancel a staging of Vladimir Nabokov's racy novel "Lolita" in St. Petersburg.


More like Chuck Norris than they realize.

27 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
Pants full of macaroni!!    [TotalFark]  
They think Obama's second term is going to bring 1000 years of darkness too?

27 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
Sock Ruh Tease     
They should be upgraded into Gunships.

27 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
They've been irrelevant for 30 years or so and people think they're dead?

27 Nov 2012 01:38 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     
www.onesolutionrevolution.orgView Full Size



pic is warm 

27 Nov 2012 01:41 PM
skullkrusher     
graphics8.nytimes.comView Full Size


might wanna rethink your plan, Russia. This guy isn't very intimidating

27 Nov 2012 01:42 PM
DoomPaul     
FTA: All-Russia Cossack Host directly subordinate to Putin is scheduled to be launched by the end of the year.

Nice.

27 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
DoomPaul     
I messed that up: "A 400,000-strong All-Russia Cossack Host directly subordinate to Putin is scheduled to be launched by the end of the year.

27 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
Plant Rights Activist     
images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
CygnusDarius     

skullkrusher: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 190x229]

might wanna rethink your plan, Russia. This guy isn't very intimidating


That's what they want you to think.

/I would've loved learning that during highschool

27 Nov 2012 01:47 PM
mootmah    [TotalFark]  
You can't trust a Cossack

fluffrick.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:47 PM
angry_scientist     
GodenEye tried it in 1995 already. Sean Bean died a terrible death, as usual. You really want to try this route again, Russia?

27 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
russlar     
There are no men like Chuck Norris, just Chuck Norris.

27 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
Myria     
Russian Cossacks?
a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.comView Full Size

media.comicvine.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:49 PM
angry_scientist     

mootmah: You can't trust a Cossack


Foiled again! Curses. Beat me by this much.

27 Nov 2012 01:49 PM
TV's Vinnie     
images.persephonemagazine.comView Full Size

Dat sounds like a great idea, doesn't it Dommy?

Oh yeh Kubla! Dat would be freekin' epic!

27 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
skullkrusher     

CygnusDarius: skullkrusher: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 190x229]

might wanna rethink your plan, Russia. This guy isn't very intimidating

That's what they want you to think.

/I would've loved learning that during highschool


hehe that was a picture of Markos the lead Kossack, not an actually Cossack :)

27 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
Ambitwistor     
ecx.images-amazon.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
skullkrusher     
www.bagofnothing.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
Jumpedthefark     
1. Near term limit
2. Create 400,000 man enforcer army
3. ????
4. profit!!!

27 Nov 2012 01:53 PM
23FPB23     
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:53 PM
CygnusDarius     

skullkrusher: CygnusDarius: skullkrusher: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 190x229]

might wanna rethink your plan, Russia. This guy isn't very intimidating

That's what they want you to think.

/I would've loved learning that during highschool

hehe that was a picture of Markos the lead Kossack, not an actually Cossack :)


That's what the want you to think.

/Dun dun duuuun

27 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
RoyBatty     
images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 01:58 PM
Gyrfalcon     
Oh, this should be good.

The Reds AND the Whites under one banner. Next, Putin is going to revive the riders of the Golden Horde and sweep across the steppes.

27 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
miscreant     
Action movie has-beens turned bigoted conspiracy theorist fundies?

27 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
krampus503     

TV's Vinnie: [images.persephonemagazine.com image 300x225]
Dat sounds like a great idea, doesn't it Dommy?

Oh yeh Kubla! Dat would be freekin' epic!


/ Came for Kubla Kraus, leaving satisfied.

27 Nov 2012 02:11 PM
LewDux     

27 Nov 2012 02:11 PM
The Faywood Assassin     
What started as almost humorous, became pretty dark and ominous by the end of the article.

27 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
Trucker     
Old and over-rated?

27 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
KiTTeNs_on_AciD     
s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size


"Anti-semite slippery cossack slut"

27 Nov 2012 02:26 PM
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros     
My Cossack's back, and you're gonna be in trouble.

27 Nov 2012 02:26 PM
quansem     

27 Nov 2012 02:53 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     

27 Nov 2012 03:02 PM
Agarista     
I thought Cossacks were ethnic Ukrainians living along the quietly flowing Don River...

27 Nov 2012 03:03 PM
Now That's What I Call a Taco!     

The Faywood Assassin: What started as almost humorous, became pretty dark and ominous by the end of the article.


I agree. This could end up being not funny at all. Especially the "cracking down on Muslims in Sochi" part.

27 Nov 2012 03:08 PM
Cajnik     
"They are just like Cossacks, and they work for the government, but they're welcomed with open arms. How come this should be allowed in America, but not in Russia, with our rich Cossack traditions? We're like Chuck Norris!" Gulichev said

Somehow I think this came out more like "They have similar to Coassacks. They work for government, but OK. Why this allowed in America but not Russia? It is Cossack Chuck Norris!"

27 Nov 2012 03:17 PM
That Guy in the Dos Equis Commercials     
www.morethings.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 03:30 PM
semiotix     
The tears of a Cossack cure hemophilia. Too bad for the Romanovs that no Cossack has ever cried.

Cossacks on the Zaporozhian Sich don't swim; the water of the Kakhovka Reservoir just wants to be around them.

The distinctive fleece hats that Cossack men wear have come to be known as "Cossack hats." For a similar reason, so has your mother.

27 Nov 2012 04:12 PM
MythDragon     
What about the Goddamn Mongorians?
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 04:15 PM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache     
Russia never changes. Too muck vodak.

27 Nov 2012 04:36 PM
Jackpot777     
What is it with Eastern Europe and Chuck Norris? It's like when Slovakia was going to name a bridge after him. Which wouldn't have worked because

( •_•)

nobody crosses Chuck Norris

( •_•)>⌐■-■

and lives...

(⌐■_■)

27 Nov 2012 04:52 PM
Skirl Hutsenreiter     

semiotix: The tears of a Cossack cure hemophilia. Too bad for the Romanovs that no Cossack has ever cried.


I know of one Cossack who cried every time he talked about the little Tsar and the dowager Empress.

He was an impressionable 19 year old in the Imperial Guard when the Revolution started, and those two really endeared themselves to him for a lifetime.

He used to tell about an incident when he first started in the Imperial Guard. He was stationed in a hall that was lined with these huge gilded mirrors. The old Tsarina is passing through the hall alone when he accidentally fumbles his rifle. It hits the ground, goes off, and shatters one of these massive mirrors. He's totally dumbstruck by this catastrophe: not only has he destroyed an expensive item, he endangered one of the royal family in the process. The old Tsarina sees he's totally distraught, and she just smiles, walks over to another mirror, and gives it a real solid whack with her cane. The mirror shatters, and she turns back to him and says, "If anyone gives you any trouble, just say that crazy old lady was smashing up the place."

27 Nov 2012 05:00 PM
pute kisses like a man     
i'm sure this will end poorly.

27 Nov 2012 05:05 PM
Slowdog    [TotalFark]  
www.badassoftheweek.comView Full Size


Do we have to come over there? Because it's looking like we have to come over there.

link

27 Nov 2012 05:13 PM
DjangoStonereaver    [TotalFark]  
A nice Jewish girl of my acquaintance always claimed that one of her forebearers was a Cossack and a Jew.

If you knew her, this might go a long way to explaining her unique mental processes.

27 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
Bad_Seed     

DjangoStonereaver: A nice Jewish girl of my acquaintance always claimed that one of her forebearers was a Cossack and a Jew.

If you knew her, this might go a long way to explaining her unique mental processes.


Neurotic and violent?

27 Nov 2012 06:27 PM
DjangoStonereaver    [TotalFark]  

Bad_Seed: DjangoStonereaver: A nice Jewish girl of my acquaintance always claimed that one of her forebearers was a Cossack and a Jew.

If you knew her, this might go a long way to explaining her unique mental processes.

Neurotic and violent?


Yup.

I love her to death, though: she has a good heart for all the other stuff.

/Never dated her, though, so that might explain my feelings.

27 Nov 2012 06:32 PM
optional     
Retro is never as badass as the real thing. Here are the old school Cossacks.

27 Nov 2012 08:31 PM
optional     
Crap, didn't post the pic. Here it is.

www.allartclassic.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 08:32 PM
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