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   Do not not misplace your galpal's latex penis, it could escalate into an ironing board assault

27 Nov 2012 02:26 PM   |   10676 clicks   |   The Smoking Gun
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dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
All I know is that if I ever "misplace" or break Mrs. Love Zombie'shiatachi Magic Wand, I'd better be buying a new one before the day is out. An ironing board aimed at my head would probably be the least of my worries.

27 Nov 2012 02:06 PM
dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
HAHA filterpwnt. Never seen it break HTML before. Go me.

27 Nov 2012 02:07 PM
markie_farkie    [TotalFark]  
They're doing it wrong.

Yesterday, I broke the iron, and my wife assaulted me with a strap-on.

27 Nov 2012 02:17 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

27 Nov 2012 02:29 PM
Wurmz     
It's funny because her name is Latoya, right?

27 Nov 2012 02:30 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

markie_farkie: They're doing it wrong.

Yesterday, I broke the iron, and my wife assaulted me with a strap-on.


A win-win really. Why iron when you can hang clothes on pegs?

27 Nov 2012 02:30 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
♫ Rubber dickey, you're the one. You make bath time so much fun... ♫

27 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
iheartscotch     
FTFA: "The Rock Hill Police Department report offers no further information on the whereabouts of Donaldson's detachable latex penis. "

Ok; which one of you wrote this!

27 Nov 2012 02:32 PM
CygnusDarius     
Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

27 Nov 2012 02:33 PM
starsrift     
This seems like no-brainer advice...

/ "roomies", huh?
// suuuurrre....
/// NTTAWWT

27 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
JerkyMeat    [TotalFark]  
i.cdn.turner.comView Full Size


He was once a thug from around the way. Eazy!

27 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
NashMcNash     
Haha! My wife doesn't need any sex toys because I am sexually fulfilling in every way!

/false

27 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
phlegmmo    [TotalFark]  
Do not not misplace your galpals latex penis, it could escalate into an ironing board assault

Only if it's really pressing.

27 Nov 2012 02:37 PM
cig-mkr     
Why would a lesbian need a detachable latex penis ?
She could swing both ways and get the real deal.

27 Nov 2012 02:37 PM
Fark In The Duck    [TotalFark]  

blatz514: oblig


Came here for the King Missile reference. Left happy.

27 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
WhippingBoy     

markie_farkie: They're doing it wrong.

Yesterday, I broke the iron, and my wife assaulted me with a strap-on.


Me too!

27 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
WhippingBoy     

cig-mkr: Why would a lesbian need a detachable latex penis ?


For the same reason vegetarians need "Tofurky".

27 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
cleveoh     

iheartscotch: FTFA: "The Rock Hill Police Department report offers no further information on the whereabouts of Donaldson's detachable latex penis. "

This is going to make for the most interesting Nancy Grace show ever!

Wait, what color is the missing detachable penis?


27 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
abhorrent1     
If they like penis, why not just use a real one?

27 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
DROxINxTHExWIND     

cig-mkr: Why would a lesbian need a detachable latex penis ?
She could swing both ways and get the real deal.


Most lesbians are not avoiding penis, they are avoiding the assholes attached to them.


/assholes like me

27 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
Onkel Buck     
i293.photobucket.comView Full Size

keeps things stiff

27 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  
Does just having one make one more violent?
Ask any woman.

27 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
DROxINxTHExWIND     

WhippingBoy: markie_farkie: They're doing it wrong.

Yesterday, I broke the iron, and my wife assaulted me with a strap-on.

Me too!


Eww, I hope she wiped it off before she did you.

27 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     
If I am ever over at my sisters and she starts going ballistic because she can't find her dildo I am leaving and never, ever going back.

27 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: If I am ever over at my sisters and she starts going ballistic because she can't find her dildo I am leaving and never, ever going back.


strike that...if she even starts looking for one I am out...wtf

27 Nov 2012 02:46 PM
iheartscotch     

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: If I am ever over at my sisters and she starts going ballistic because she can't find her dildo I am leaving and never, ever going back.

strike that...if she even starts looking for one I am out...wtf


Wait.....


.....What?

27 Nov 2012 02:51 PM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     

iheartscotch: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: If I am ever over at my sisters and she starts going ballistic because she can't find her dildo I am leaving and never, ever going back.

strike that...if she even starts looking for one I am out...wtf

Wait.....


.....What?


Read the article. One of the girl's brother got into the fight. WTF was he still doing around?

27 Nov 2012 02:53 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
The Rock Hill Police Department report offers no further information on the whereabouts of Donaldson's detachable latex penis

Check St. Mark's place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

27 Nov 2012 02:54 PM
lordjupiter     
Neck tattoo. It's like a bullhorn that screams "batshiat/criminal".

27 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
stu1-1     
I know what happened to it:

NSFW?

27 Nov 2012 02:57 PM
lordjupiter     

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: iheartscotch: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: If I am ever over at my sisters and she starts going ballistic because she can't find her dildo I am leaving and never, ever going back.

strike that...if she even starts looking for one I am out...wtf

Wait.....


.....What?

Read the article. One of the girl's brother got into the fight. WTF was he still doing around?



Filming?

27 Nov 2012 02:57 PM
WTP 2     
did anyone check the brother?

27 Nov 2012 02:58 PM
Nana's Vibrator    [TotalFark]  
We all know a simple latex penis is not worth fighting over. Vibrator? Nana will cut a biatch if you steal her rabbit.

27 Nov 2012 03:00 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

stu1-1: I know what happened to it:

NSFW?


Holy fark, that's some pretty good stuff right there! That thing had to be 3 feet long.

27 Nov 2012 03:00 PM
Captain Darling     
Detachable from what?

27 Nov 2012 03:00 PM
iheartscotch     

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: iheartscotch: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: If I am ever over at my sisters and she starts going ballistic because she can't find her dildo I am leaving and never, ever going back.

strike that...if she even starts looking for one I am out...wtf

Wait.....


.....What?

Read the article. One of the girl's brother got into the fight. WTF was he still doing around?


I still don't see what that has to do with your sister; unless she likes other girls.

/ nttawwt

27 Nov 2012 03:02 PM
LeroyBourne     
I wonder if lesbians have the same deal when it comes to toys when the relationship ends. I had a pocket thumper I used on a gf and when it was over I tried to tell her to just take it, it's not like when I find another gf she'll be thrilled to hear I used it on other women.

27 Nov 2012 03:02 PM
markie_farkie    [TotalFark]  

Captain Darling: Detachable from what?


Google image search with safe-search disabled:

vac-u-lock

27 Nov 2012 03:03 PM
Corvus     
i.cdn.turner.comView Full Size

Just a wild guess here but I think Arteesha Donaldson MAY have done time in prison before.

27 Nov 2012 03:04 PM
THX 1138     

27 Nov 2012 03:06 PM
porcupine tree     
If only there was a subset of the human species that had real penises for women to enjoy.

27 Nov 2012 03:06 PM
stu1-1     

blatz514: stu1-1: I know what happened to it:

NSFW?

Holy fark, that's some pretty good stuff right there! That thing had to be 3 feet long.


What I'm wondering is why the cops felt they needed to confiscate it,

27 Nov 2012 03:08 PM
megarian    [TotalFark]  

abhorrent1: If they like penis, why not just use a real one?


http://touch.dailymotion.com/video/xf udgw_jessie-j-do-it-like-a-dude_m usic NSFW because of some lady touching.

Or google the lyrics for "do it like a dude". Lulz.

/not lesbian
//chick in video bangable?
///chick in video bangable.

27 Nov 2012 03:08 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

stu1-1: blatz514: stu1-1: I know what happened to it:

NSFW?

Holy fark, that's some pretty good stuff right there! That thing had to be 3 feet long.

What I'm wondering is why the cops felt they needed to confiscate it,


Maybe it was loaded.

27 Nov 2012 03:11 PM
Magorn    [TotalFark]  
How about refining it to a simpler rule subby? "Do NOT stick your dick, real OR artificial, in crazy"

27 Nov 2012 03:12 PM
illannoyin     
Biatch hit me wif a smoove!

27 Nov 2012 03:15 PM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     

stu1-1: blatz514: stu1-1: I know what happened to it:

NSFW?

Holy fark, that's some pretty good stuff right there! That thing had to be 3 feet long.

What I'm wondering is why the cops felt they needed to confiscate it,


Maybe they brought it.

"I said test KIT...KIT!. These new radios suck."

27 Nov 2012 03:15 PM
strapp3r     
A Thanksgiving Day argument over a misplaced sex toy...

i do love the holidays!

27 Nov 2012 03:18 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

Corvus: [i.cdn.turner.com image 300x411]
Just a wild guess here but I think Arteesha Donaldson MAY have done time in prison before.


M.C. Hammer has REALLY let himself go.

27 Nov 2012 03:19 PM
That Guy in the Dos Equis Commercials     
Heh. I saw someone get between her and this biatch's skrimps down at the Golden Corral. Brother was going to need a bigger ironing board.

27 Nov 2012 03:21 PM
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