Rosie O'Donnell finally finds true love.

"Mind over matter, old bushman's trick"

"Dude. I go for the blond. You go for the fat chick. I think it'll work better"

"That was really great last night babe.."

"I'll tell my wife I want a divorce this week.... then we can be together all the time."

"Soon, my darling. Soon."

"You smell different. Did you start using a new shampoo?"

"I know this is an inappropriate thing to say, but I am highly aroused right now."

"Fred and Barney will be here shortly"

Oops

"Mmmm burgers. Don't worry dear, it will be over fast and you will not feel a thing."

"Your tears, they are delicious, as will be the burgers I make from you."

OK. Your safe word is "banana."

I don't need a towel as my car did not hit you.

Hello sir. I was wondering if you could help me. I am the spirit of Miyu Uehara. You can Google Image Search for me but you should have your filter on if you are at work. I am a former supermodel now imprisoned in this beast. Were you but to kiss me, I will be released from this beast's body and returned to my super model form. For completing this wish, I will be so grateful, that I will grant you a night of passion that you will never forget.

Just a kiss, kind sir. Please release me from this curse.

Hmm. Nothing. Well, maybe if you kissed me and fondled my teats. That should surely break the curse. Go ahead. Remember, I will be yours in supermodel form for an entire night.

Hmm. Still nothing. I should be standing here quite naked in my human form. Ready to rush to you for releasing me. Maybe we should try something a little more desperate. Go back there and, you know, make me moo. Just think of me in my human form. Close you eyes and picture me in my softest lingerie, my smile entreats you. My soft limbs beckon you to my smooth inner regions. Do it. Oh yes! Do it!

Well, that didn't work either. Maybe you didn't do it long enough. Or you weren't sincere. Anyhow, here come some cops. They want to take you away. Surprisingly, yes. This is a crime even in this country.

Oh and thanks for nothing.

(Goes over to another water buffalo)
He fell for it. You owe me 5 bucks. Eh. It was a lot smaller and softer than a regular water buffalo's.

Apocalypse Now - The PETA Reboot.

"I have the weirdest boner right now."

/Who would have thought I'd ever have to type that twice?

You know what I love about you man? Everything, even the bullshiat you give me.

Sadly, Troy's heterosexual reprogramming therapy on the farm went a bit awry.

(to wife) "If you weren't such an ignorant biatch, you'd know I was talking to the water buffalo!"

Everybody's got a water buffalo
Yours is fast but mine is slow
Where we get them, I don't know
But everybody's got a water buffaloOOO!

" Eat Mo Chikin "

Okay, Suh, when you break through and get to that quarterback, gore his ass, cheap and good! Now go get him, buffalo hunter...

"Water buffalo? They're large ruminants with horns, but that's not important right now."

(now with voting-enabled goodness)

One false move, I snap your neck.

Kentucky Fried Panda: Everybody's got a water buffalo.
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
Oh, where we get them, I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo!
I took my buffalo to the store,
Got his head stuck in the door,
Spilled some lima beans on the floor,
Oh, everybody's got a...

WorkingInParadise: Everybody's got a water buffalo
Yours is fast but mine is slow
Where we get them, I don't know
But everybody's got a water buffaloOOO!

Hold it! Hold it!
You can't say everybody has a water buffalo when everybody does not have a water buffalo!
We'll get nasty letters like,
Where's my water buffalo?
How come I don't have a water buffalo?
Just stop being so silly!!

utsagrad123: Kentucky Fried Panda: Everybody's got a water buffalo.
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
Oh, where we get them, I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo!
I took my buffalo to the store,
Got his head stuck in the door,
Spilled some lima beans on the floor,
Oh, everybody's got a...

WorkingInParadise: Everybody's got a water buffalo
Yours is fast but mine is slow
Where we get them, I don't know
But everybody's got a water buffaloOOO!

Hold it! Hold it!
You can't say everybody has a water buffalo when everybody does not have a water buffalo!
We'll get nasty letters like,
Where's my water buffalo?
How come I don't have a water buffalo?
Just stop being so silly!!

Everybody's got a baby kangaroo.
Yours is pink, but mine is blue.

RyansPrivates: utsagrad123: Kentucky Fried Panda: Everybody's got a water buffalo.
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
Oh, where we get them, I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo!
I took my buffalo to the store,
Got his head stuck in the door,
Spilled some lima beans on the floor,
Oh, everybody's got a...

WorkingInParadise: Everybody's got a water buffalo
Yours is fast but mine is slow
Where we get them, I don't know
But everybody's got a water buffaloOOO!

Hold it! Hold it!
You can't say everybody has a water buffalo when everybody does not have a water buffalo!
We'll get nasty letters like,
Where's my water buffalo?
How come I don't have a water buffalo?
Just stop being so silly!!

Everybody's got a baby kangaroo.
Yours is pink, but mine is blue.

"Oh look, a cebu! Cebu!"

"Cebu!"

"No, wait ... that's a water buffalo."

"No more song about cebu!
Need another verse or two!
Audience is standing and leaving, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo moo moo moo"

/I want my money back!

I thought you are supposed to take me on a date first?

"Now, now. I wont let that nasty bottle of A1 steak sauce bother you again."

You'll just feel a little pinch, Baby.

National Enquirer "experts" are pretty sure that's Dustin Hoffman sharing a tender moment with right wing Vegan actress Bridgette Bardot