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   Powerball hits record $500m jackpot. The end of the rainbow may be at your local 7-11

27 Nov 2012 08:30 PM   |   3991 clicks   |   106.7 The D
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Weaver95    [TotalFark]  
if I win, I plan on building the world's first pagan megachurch....which would probably have about a thousand members...but still! megachurch!

27 Nov 2012 04:55 PM
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Lando Lincoln    [TotalFark]  
If I win, I'm going to bribe a Fark mod for a list of all farkers, their real names and addresses. And then, let the cockpunching / KHITBASHing begin!

27 Nov 2012 05:04 PM
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The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
I bought a ticket. I'll admit it

27 Nov 2012 05:15 PM
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ManateeGag    [TotalFark]  
you know, it's not like I'm going to miss the $2.

27 Nov 2012 05:24 PM
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: I bought a ticket. I'll admit it


Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time. I bought a ticket a few weeks back on a lark because there wasn't a line at the customer service desk at the supermarket. Won $12 and was happy.

I don't buy them much. But I certainly don't go out of my way just because the pot is huge.

27 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
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sigdiamond2000    [TotalFark]  
Gotta spend money to make money.

27 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
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The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time. I bought a ticket a few weeks back on a lark because there wasn't a line at the customer service desk at the supermarket. Won $12 and was happy.

I don't buy them much. But I certainly don't go out of my way just because the pot is huge



I only buy when it's really high. You have to make it worth doing the taxes! You have to understand that the government takes half off the top then you get cut in half again by taking the lump sum. So really and truly you're only going to get a quarter of the prize.

But mostly I only buy in when it's over 250 million because that is when everyone is talking about it and they reminds me to do it. After all, it's for the schools!!

27 Nov 2012 05:32 PM
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spman    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: The Stealth Hippopotamus: I bought a ticket. I'll admit it

Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time. I bought a ticket a few weeks back on a lark because there wasn't a line at the customer service desk at the supermarket. Won $12 and was happy.

I don't buy them much. But I certainly don't go out of my way just because the pot is huge.


Honestly for me it's all about my limits. With 25 Million, I'd spend myself into poverty pretty damn quick between taxes and other expenses. With that kind of money, no one is going to be making rational decisions anymore, and you'll get yourself into a heap of trouble quickly. 500 million is enough that I'd probably be dead before I spent it all, even if I did go all out with buying the most extravagant, expensive, batshiat crazy stuff imaginable.

27 Nov 2012 05:38 PM
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Lando Lincoln    [TotalFark]  
Eh. I don't think I'll play. That will just put me into a much higher tax bracket.

27 Nov 2012 05:41 PM
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shanrick    [TotalFark]  
I buy tickets for my retirement fund. Any day now, biatches!

27 Nov 2012 05:48 PM
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unlikely    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high.


I buy a ticket every time I remember to buy one when I'm somewhere that sells them.

Often, I get reminded by stories of how high the thing is.

27 Nov 2012 06:02 PM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
At my local 7-11?

/End of the Ranjit is much more likely

27 Nov 2012 06:12 PM
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unlikely    [TotalFark]  
And for the soulless buttfuggers who say "it's just a tax on people who can't do math" -

When I was a kid, I played with little plastic green army men. We had huge scenarios, the greyer ones would hold Mount Dirtyshirt while the people in the valley would leave a small force to fire from behind the wrecked train while the main force snuck around from behind and scaled Mt. Dirtyshirt to win the day. Also, I had this Starship Enterprise "bridge set" with a captain's chair and a "transporter" that just spun the action figures around and stopped with one side or the other inside or out.

These toys were awesome, because they were toys. Tools, props for my imagination, a way to bring a fantasy into just a little bit sharper reality. A way to make the play, the daydreams of tactical glory or beaming down to Tau Ceti IX to defeat the Broccoloids by convincing their computer to butter, seem more real. More tangible. More fun.

If you are buying the Powerball ticket as an investment, you soulless tools are right, it's kind of dumb. But if you can't see the value in having that bit of potential in your hand, that bit of paper that has every bit as much chance of turning into a real half-billion as my KITT model had of turning into a real car, if you can't see the joy that can be had from that, you are pure fail in all things that make life worth living.

When I have that paper, that toy, in my pocket, I am Max the Philanthropist; I am putting my sister's kids through school and paying off my girlfriend's parents house, I'm endowing a chair at the University in my favorite subject, I'm making sure my closest friends never have to work again so we can all hang out as much as we want forever. I'm Max-relax, the most chill guy in the world, because I just bought a small island with fresh water and a small hut on the beach. I'm Max the international traveler, buying a flat in London, in Paris, in Zagreb, because I have friends in each of those places and would love to visit without imposing on their homes. Which Max the Philanthropist has paid off. It's no more real than the green guys charging Mount Dirtyshirt, but no less real either. Because I have a toy to play with.

And they only cost a couple bucks. How cool is that?

27 Nov 2012 06:15 PM
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impaler    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time.


When the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combinations, it's stupid not to buy. Eventually you will come out ahead.

27 Nov 2012 06:16 PM
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impaler    [TotalFark]  

unlikely: These toys were awesome, because they were toys. Tools, props for my imagination, a way to bring a fantasy into just a little bit sharper reality. A way to make the play, the daydreams of tactical glory or beaming down to Tau Ceti IX to defeat the Broccoloids by convincing their computer to butter, seem more real. More tangible. More fun.

If you are buying the Powerball ticket as an investment, you soulless tools are right, it's kind of dumb. But if you can't see the value in having that bit of potential in your hand, that bit of paper that has every bit as much chance of turning into a real half-billion as my KITT model had of turning into a real car, if you can't see the joy that can be had from that, you are pure fail in all things that make life worth living.
...
And they only cost a couple bucks. How cool is that?


I write down numbers on scrap paper and pretend to play the lottery. That's even cheaper.

27 Nov 2012 06:19 PM
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pisceandreamer     

unlikely: When I have that paper, that toy, in my pocket, I am Max the Philanthropist; I am putting my sister's kids through school and paying off my girlfriend's parents house, I'm endowing a chair at the University in my favorite subject, I'm making sure my closest friends never have to work again so we can all hang out as much as we want forever. I'm Max-relax, the most chill guy in the world, because I just bought a small island with fresh water and a small hut on the beach. I'm Max the international traveler, buying a flat in London, in Paris, in Zagreb, because I have friends in each of those places and would love to visit without imposing on their homes. Which Max the Philanthropist has paid off. It's no more real than the green guys charging Mount Dirtyshirt, but no less real either. Because I have a toy to play with.


Very well said.

Got mine and will enjoy the next 24 hours playing the "what if " game.

27 Nov 2012 06:20 PM
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Luthien's Tempest     

pisceandreamer: unlikely: When I have that paper, that toy, in my pocket, I am Max the Philanthropist; I am putting my sister's kids through school and paying off my girlfriend's parents house, I'm endowing a chair at the University in my favorite subject, I'm making sure my closest friends never have to work again so we can all hang out as much as we want forever. I'm Max-relax, the most chill guy in the world, because I just bought a small island with fresh water and a small hut on the beach. I'm Max the international traveler, buying a flat in London, in Paris, in Zagreb, because I have friends in each of those places and would love to visit without imposing on their homes. Which Max the Philanthropist has paid off. It's no more real than the green guys charging Mount Dirtyshirt, but no less real either. Because I have a toy to play with.

Very well said.

Got mine and will enjoy the next 24 hours playing the "what if " game.


Exactly. I am enjoying the "what if" game. I know I won't win. But the possibilities are exciting. The things I could do if I won... Make sure my parents, siblings, and I never have to worry about money again as we have as long as I can remember. I could make myself so much happier just with a small portion of the prize money - just enough to pay things off, keep myself out of debt, and pay for a slightly nicer lifestyle than the grad student one I am currently afforded, and enough to convince my boyfriend to move five hours away from home (or afford more frequent trips).

27 Nov 2012 06:29 PM
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antidisestablishmentarianism    [TotalFark]  
I threw in to the at work lottery pool. Co-worker photocopied the tickets onto an 11x17 inch of paper with the names of everyone who kicked in and handed them out to everyone. The boss stopped by my cube today, found the sheet and proclaimed Thursday might be interesting.

I'll still work if I win, but I'll be coming to work in an exotic car every day of the week and buy a nice house. We'll probably lose to those cheese factory workers up the highway who have won the lottery twice already.

27 Nov 2012 06:32 PM
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thisisyourbrainonFark     
www.tru7h.org

/oblig

27 Nov 2012 06:38 PM
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Tell Me How My Blog Tastes    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: The Stealth Hippopotamus: I bought a ticket. I'll admit it

Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time. I bought a ticket a few weeks back on a lark because there wasn't a line at the customer service desk at the supermarket. Won $12 and was happy.

I don't buy them much. But I certainly don't go out of my way just because the pot is huge.


I always said I'd never play unless it hit a half billion. I've played once (last year, I think it was this high), and I bought a ticket when I was 18. I'll get my stupid tax tomorrow, I guess.

27 Nov 2012 06:45 PM
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brap    [TotalFark]  
Finally, a ticket to my dream-career: Man About Town.

27 Nov 2012 06:47 PM
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unlikely    [TotalFark]  

impaler: I write down numbers on scrap paper and pretend to play the lottery. That's even cheaper.


When we were kids, I got the generic "evil space robot" toy, my friend Mary got the Cylon. I liked hers better.

If you're cool with the generic evil space robot, good on you. I guess the silver spoon in my mouth has carried over; I like the ticket.

27 Nov 2012 06:56 PM
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Pud    [TotalFark]  
I dropped $4 on it tonight, but I'm not looking for the big win. The Quickie-Mart I stop at is practically wallpapered with copies of $1,000 - $50,000 winners. That would be worth the money spent in my book.

27 Nov 2012 07:01 PM
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dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
You know, the odds of getting away with killing the winner and stealing their half a billion are actually a lot higher than winning the thing.

/yes, I got one

27 Nov 2012 07:03 PM
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RedPhoenix122    [TotalFark]  

impaler: Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time.

When the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combinations, it's stupid not to buy. Eventually you will come out ahead.


Finally, someone understands pot odds.

27 Nov 2012 07:06 PM
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syrynxx    [TotalFark]  

RedPhoenix122: impaler: Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time.

When the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combinations, it's stupid not to buy. Eventually you will come out ahead.

Finally, someone understands pot odds.


Pot odds are irrelevant with odds of 178 million to 1 against. You will not "eventually" come out ahead. You will never earn 178 million in your lifetime, let alone play Powerball enough to win multiple jackpots.

27 Nov 2012 07:40 PM
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Tell Me How My Blog Tastes    [TotalFark]  

syrynxx: RedPhoenix122: impaler: Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time.

When the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combinations, it's stupid not to buy. Eventually you will come out ahead.

Finally, someone understands pot odds.

Pot odds are irrelevant with odds of 178 million to 1 against. You will not "eventually" come out ahead. You will never earn 178 million in your lifetime, let alone play Powerball enough to win multiple jackpots.


You won't play 178 million times. But if you lived long enough, you would. It's stupid not to play at that point (when the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combos). You don't know if your winning ticket is going to come on # 1/178 million, or on 178 million/178 million. That's the fun.

27 Nov 2012 08:15 PM
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illannoyin     
That much money wouldn't change my lifestyle very much. I'm not rich I'm free, same thing.

Just kidding! I would be dead within a month with a big farking smile on my face!

27 Nov 2012 08:35 PM
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Sudlow     
I'm gonna buy me some senators and congressmen and gets some cools laws passed. I just don't know what they'll be. But they'll be awesome.


/and hookers and blow.

27 Nov 2012 08:35 PM
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Three Crooked Squirrels    [TotalFark]  
I live in Utah. I love to gamble on almost anything. This has me sad.

27 Nov 2012 08:36 PM
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Molavian    [TotalFark]  
I'll let you know how it feels when I win it.

27 Nov 2012 08:37 PM
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bim1154     

pisceandreamer: unlikely: When I have that paper, that toy, in my pocket, I am Max the Philanthropist; I am putting my sister's kids through school and paying off my girlfriend's parents house, I'm endowing a chair at the University in my favorite subject, I'm making sure my closest friends never have to work again so we can all hang out as much as we want forever. I'm Max-relax, the most chill guy in the world, because I just bought a small island with fresh water and a small hut on the beach. I'm Max the international traveler, buying a flat in London, in Paris, in Zagreb, because I have friends in each of those places and would love to visit without imposing on their homes. Which Max the Philanthropist has paid off. It's no more real than the green guys charging Mount Dirtyshirt, but no less real either. Because I have a toy to play with.

Very well said.

Got mine and will enjoy the next 24 hours playing the "what if " game.


Yep... I only buy one to get in the game, but I get a couple days of falling asleep wondering what I'd do if I did win. Like after I paid off what few bills I have, my sons bills.... then after that I think about the enemies I've made in my life and which ones I would try to destroy first and how I would go about it. Fun times!

27 Nov 2012 08:37 PM
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wildlifer     
7-11's aren't down here.
But Cum N Go gas stations are everywhere

27 Nov 2012 08:39 PM
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Glockenspiel Hero     
Seriously, $5 for a few days of dreaming about what I could do with ~$500/6 million? (6 people in office pool) Sure, why not? It's not going to bankrupt me and it's fun to do once or twice a year.

I do have a serious problem if I win though- I'm the boss of the other 5. They'll probably all quit and then I'm going to have to find replacements ASAP.

/No, wouldn't quit. I actually kind of like my job. I'd be bored sitting around the house.

27 Nov 2012 08:39 PM
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The_Philosopher_King     
If I win I'm gonna push my agenda.

27 Nov 2012 08:39 PM
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Tenga     
I want to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be concerned about the capital gains tax.

/stolen from some show

27 Nov 2012 08:40 PM
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skinink     
If I win, the minute after I'm done with the Powerball press conference I'll quit my job and fly off out of the U.S.

27 Nov 2012 08:41 PM
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The All-Powerful Atheismo     
If I win, I'll be very surprised because I live in California and cannot purchase a ticket.

27 Nov 2012 08:42 PM
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post0089    [TotalFark]  
$500MM not $500M! 

/Fark it.

27 Nov 2012 08:42 PM
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The All-Powerful Atheismo     

Tenga: /stolen from some show


Some other show did it first

27 Nov 2012 08:42 PM
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MrPenny     

impaler: Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time.

When the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combinations, it's stupid not to buy. Eventually you will come out ahead.


this

27 Nov 2012 08:43 PM
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Popcorn Johnny     
If I win, I'm buying Fark and making some goddamn changes around here.

27 Nov 2012 08:43 PM
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Omahawg     
a tower. I want to build a tower and lord over view like some cranky bushy eye browed wizard.


'cept i'm scared of heights so I'll probably only be able to peek out the windows while crying and peeing myself

yes, it will be shaped like a penis. why do you ask?

27 Nov 2012 08:43 PM
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The All-Powerful Atheismo     

MrPenny: impaler: Diogenes: Yes...I paid my stupid tax, too.

The part that kills me is the number of people who swoop in only when the jackpot is super high. As if $1 million isn't worth your time.

When the payoff is greater than the cost of a ticket times all possible combinations, it's stupid not to buy. Eventually you will come out ahead.

this


Of course you have to factor in the probability of other people sharing the jackpot, which requires knowing the number of tickets sold, before even evaluating whether it's worth it.

27 Nov 2012 08:44 PM
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The_Philosopher_King     
I think we should have a very special FARK party if a FARKer wins. The rules are if a FARKer wins he or she will host a FARK party in the city the ticket was purchased. Not a public place, rent a space. Have a cash bar and at random times they buy the place a round.

27 Nov 2012 08:45 PM
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MrPenny     

skinink: I I'll quit my job and fly off out of the U.S.


Quit? I'm going to get fired....spectacularly.

27 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
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TV's Vinnie     
www.libertystickers.com

27 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
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NeoCortex42     
I wonder how many winning tickets there will be. I'm guessing four, with one of them being a work pool.

27 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
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Loucifer     
If I win, I am going to splurge on Total Fark.

27 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
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W.C.fields forever    [TotalFark]  
Someone posted the Power ball simulator here a few months back.
I played it and won 2 million dollars(puts finger to lip) It only took 2200
years.

//then I got bored.

27 Nov 2012 08:47 PM
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