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   What causes the ghey? Rolls dice: Sex with demons

27 Nov 2012 05:57 PM   |   9809 clicks   |   Salon
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Weaver95     
so lets review:

1. don't have sex with demons.
2. don't make deals with devils.
3. don't ever make a deal with a devil for demon sex.

is everyone clear on rule #3? good! quiz tomorrow then. class dismissed!

27 Nov 2012 05:01 PM
Ed Finnerty     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 05:04 PM
exick    [TotalFark]  
If I have to suspend disbelief to a greater degree reading your hard-hitting journalism than I do when reading Lord of the Rings, you might have a credibility problem.

27 Nov 2012 05:16 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
"Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

27 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
Weaver95     

Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?


Wal-mart has them on special this week.

27 Nov 2012 05:25 PM
propasaurus    [TotalFark]  
I thought the demon sex was kinda like a signing bonus after you committed to play for the other team?

27 Nov 2012 05:28 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

Weaver95: Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

Wal-mart has them on special this week.


I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a succubus that was made in China.

27 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
vernonFL    [TotalFark]  
Its really too bad I'm at work. Otherwise I would turn this into a bears vs. jocks vs twinks thread so demonic, your heads will spin.

27 Nov 2012 05:40 PM
Weaver95     

Marcus Aurelius: Weaver95: Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

Wal-mart has them on special this week.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a succubus that was made in China.


look man, we had to outsource our demon sex to China to save costs. sure, maybe we put some local US demons out of work but hey - by outsourcing our demons to china we saved on costs AND were able to provide low cost demon sex to more people in middle america than ever before. Free Market dude! Invisible hand and all that.

27 Nov 2012 05:43 PM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
They always wear too much sulfur. It's like they bathe in the stuff. Almost as bad as Drakkar.

27 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
12349876     
Are they hot demons?

27 Nov 2012 05:59 PM
MrHappyRotter     
I know that when I get that feeling I want sexual demons.

27 Nov 2012 06:00 PM
SteelDraco     

Weaver95: so lets review:

1. don't have sex with demons.
2. don't make deals with devils.
3. don't ever make a deal with a devil for demon sex.

is everyone clear on rule #3? good! quiz tomorrow then. class dismissed!


Just stay away from yugoloths. Qlippoth are right out.

27 Nov 2012 06:01 PM
clyph     
Keep it up, Christpublicans. Show the world just how crazy and detached from reality you really are.

27 Nov 2012 06:01 PM
LeroyBourne     
I can say that it's not true, being with many female demons and only attracting more to fulfill the vicious cycle I cannot break.

27 Nov 2012 06:01 PM
GypsyJoker     

Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?


Wait until Bob Larson exorcises one.

27 Nov 2012 06:02 PM
MrHappyRotter     
So many horny demons, soooo little time.

27 Nov 2012 06:02 PM
skinink     
On the other hand listening to Incubus may be a sign that you're gay.

27 Nov 2012 06:03 PM
megarian    [TotalFark]  
Not a dude, but I have the weirdest boner right now.

27 Nov 2012 06:04 PM
MrHappyRotter     
My favorite demons are chupacabras. If you rub goat cheese on your cock, they will suck it dry. Your cock, not the goat cheese.

27 Nov 2012 06:04 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

12349876: Are they hot demons?


They'd have to be hot to put me off of humans. They're my favorite mammal.

27 Nov 2012 06:05 PM
SirEattonHogg     
Are you the gatekeeper?

27 Nov 2012 06:05 PM
CygnusDarius     
Well, after summoning the Demoness Leshastar to kill my enemies and give me material power over the realm of Silvercoast, what is a warlock to do with her?.

27 Nov 2012 06:06 PM
QT_3.14159    [TotalFark]  
See, what they're not spelling out is that you get demons by hanging around with people with demons. See, they're like a disease or something... and so when they say you turn gay by having sex with demons what they really mean is that you turn gay by having sex with someone who is demon possessed, i.e. gay.

And having gay sex is a pretty good sign you're gay. So, their logic pans out here!

27 Nov 2012 06:06 PM
rockforever     
Where did you get those dice!?

27 Nov 2012 06:07 PM
ladyfortuna     
I like how subby snuck a D&D association into this.

27 Nov 2012 06:07 PM
iheartscotch     
Those demon girls; wowwow wowwowwow; and you thought that the 3 boobed hooker on total recall was awesome. They can take any physical appearance they want; plus you can't get 'em pregnant. You do have to watch out for demon aids though.

27 Nov 2012 06:08 PM
Shadow Blasko     
Holy crap I swear someone read a story on literotica and decided it was true.


Which... you know... happens.

27 Nov 2012 06:08 PM
CygnusDarius     

ladyfortuna: I like how subby snuck a D&D association into this.


This. Now we need Deadlands references.

27 Nov 2012 06:09 PM
karmagirl     
Personal accountability: 0
Demons: 1

27 Nov 2012 06:09 PM
MrHappyRotter     
This is why those priests are so busy exorcising young children in the butt to remove the gay demons.

27 Nov 2012 06:09 PM
Lawnchair     
My 60-something oh-so-fashionable "uncles" seemed so boring at Thanksgiving. Never would have guessed...

27 Nov 2012 06:09 PM
fusillade762     
But what causes sex with demons? We need to get to root causes here, people!

27 Nov 2012 06:09 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

GypsyJoker: Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

Wait until Bob Larson exorcises one.


Ewww! I'm not gay, I'm just into demon sex.

/NTTAWWT

27 Nov 2012 06:10 PM
Weaver95     

SteelDraco: Weaver95: so lets review:

1. don't have sex with demons.
2. don't make deals with devils.
3. don't ever make a deal with a devil for demon sex.

is everyone clear on rule #3? good! quiz tomorrow then. class dismissed!

Just stay away from yugoloths. Qlippoth are right out.


ya know what the problem with Qlippothic demons is? they're not even sure humanity has two genders, nor do they care. they just find a hole, stick an ovipositor in there and BAM! 9 months later, a happy little spawnling rips its way outta yer guts. male, female...they'll get you pregnant and never call back.

27 Nov 2012 06:11 PM
CygnusDarius     

iheartscotch: Those demon girls; wowwow wowwowwow; and you thought that the 3 boobed hooker on total recall was awesome. They can take any physical appearance they want; plus you can't get 'em pregnant. You do have to watch out for demon aids though.


But they do have babies.

www.alicia-logic.comView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 06:11 PM
cherryl taggart     
I was called a sexual demon years ago, but I don't think I ever turned anyone gay.

27 Nov 2012 06:11 PM
SultanofSchwing     
This precludes the notion that there isn't hot, sexy, demon ladies.

27 Nov 2012 06:11 PM
Theaetetus     
So, when they say "get thee behind me, Demon," it's actually a come on?

27 Nov 2012 06:12 PM
karmagirl     

fusillade762: But what causes sex with demons? We need to get to root causes here, people!


Being married to a Christian and not having sex apart from procreation?

27 Nov 2012 06:12 PM
ArgusRun     

iheartscotch: Those demon girls; wowwow wowwowwow; and you thought that the 3 boobed hooker on total recall was awesome. They can take any physical appearance they want; plus you can't get 'em pregnant. You do have to watch out for demon aids though.


mimg.ugo.comView Full Size


Just don't stick it in her three hole, and you'll be fine.

27 Nov 2012 06:12 PM
MrHappyRotter     
I once shot a demon in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas I'll tell you when you're a little older.

27 Nov 2012 06:12 PM
RatMaster999     
This inspires the ghey? Really?

27 Nov 2012 06:13 PM
tortilla burger     

Weaver95: 1. don't have sex with demons.


I hear they're pretty good at it tho

27 Nov 2012 06:13 PM
The Jami Turman Fan Club     
So, if the demon just gives me oral, does that still count? How about anal? Can I have anal sex with a demon and still be straight?

27 Nov 2012 06:13 PM
caddisfly     
The author may be on to something. I've had sex with women so evil I considered switching teams. In retrospect they were probably demons trying to steal my sexual soul for Satan. Whew, close one.

27 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
CygnusDarius     
Also, how demons-you-might-have-sex-with would look like:

fc09.deviantart.netView Full Size

27 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
BlackMtnMan     
No, sex with my first wife.



Wait.....she IS a devil from hell.................................. ................

27 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
Shadowknight     
It's funny, all I ever get out of demon sex is bleeding eyes and/or ass.

Seriously, though, this came out in a Christian magazine called "Charisma.". Isn't that one of the most ironic titles ever? Most bible thumpers I know have the charisma of a wet paper sack full of moldy sandwiches.

27 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
RatMaster999     
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


This inspires the ghey? Really?


/now with an image that isn't too large
//stupid preview button

27 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
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