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   Naked man with machete and knife attacks cops, with predictable results

28 Nov 2012 12:46 AM   |   4530 clicks   |   Denver Channel
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Practical_Draconian     
Naked and wielding blades?

My werewolf/warrior character in Skyrim often ends up that way during long battles.

That's just how the true Nords roll.

28 Nov 2012 12:14 AM
DarkSoulNoHope     
That naked man was just trying to prove who had the bigger gun. Unfortunately for him though, the cop proved that his gun can still shoot a load.

28 Nov 2012 12:49 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
I gotta admit I didn't expect a flock of pigeons to shiatstorm the officer's car.

28 Nov 2012 12:51 AM
Bathysphere     
Seriously, what is the deal with Colorado? I enjoy living here, but it's full of weird crime and the rich people all seem to dress like villains in bad 80's teen movies.

28 Nov 2012 12:58 AM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
www.deeppencil.comView Full Size

Did you think this would work?

28 Nov 2012 01:01 AM
Rapmaster2000    [TotalFark]  
He's still naked?

28 Nov 2012 01:03 AM
Summer Glau's Love Slave     
Dad?

28 Nov 2012 01:03 AM
karmaceutical     

Bathysphere: Seriously, what is the deal with Colorado? I enjoy living here, but it's full of weird crime and the rich people all seem to dress like villains in bad 80's teen movies.


meth, mostly.

28 Nov 2012 01:04 AM
Gyrfalcon     

karmaceutical: Bathysphere: Seriously, what is the deal with Colorado? I enjoy living here, but it's full of weird crime and the rich people all seem to dress like villains in bad 80's teen movies.

meth, mostly.


And the altitude the rest of the time.

Unless you're near Colorado Springs, from what I gather from my flyboy friends, it's just how the Air Force deals with the tedium.

28 Nov 2012 01:08 AM
Old Man Winter    [TotalFark]  
My prediction was that he was shot 108 times by three officers, was found to be unarmed but still sodomized with a fire hydrant. You should have said it wasn't in New York.

28 Nov 2012 01:08 AM
wildcardjack     
mlkshk.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 01:09 AM
The Smails Kid     
I figured he wasn't out collecting for the Red Cross.

28 Nov 2012 01:12 AM
ACEllis     
Heh. I sent the ambulance on this call. No I can't really discuss it, but the news articles have all the details basically correct. Aurora is always a good time.

28 Nov 2012 01:13 AM
ACEllis     

ACEllis: Heh. I sent the ambulance on this call. No I can't really discuss it, but the news articles have all the details basically correct. Aurora is always a good time.


Although I will add, he first wielded at fire fighters on scene first. Police got involved shortly there after.

28 Nov 2012 01:15 AM
JustHereForThePics     

wildcardjack:


Aaaand we're done here.

28 Nov 2012 01:22 AM
Mega Steve     
He fixes the cable?

28 Nov 2012 01:23 AM
othmar     
i bet the cops get a nice pay raise too.

28 Nov 2012 01:26 AM
akede     

ACEllis: ACEllis: Heh. I sent the ambulance on this call. No I can't really discuss it, but the news articles have all the details basically correct. Aurora is always a good time.

Although I will add, he first wielded at fire fighters on scene first. Police got involved shortly there after.


Came here to mention-- he slashed two cops before he was even shot. I was expecting to see that he was at the top of the stairs and they just opened up on him.

However, THIS is what Tasers were meant for. They should have maintained distance and if he didn't comply or made a move, took him down with non-lethal force. The family that called for help will be struggling with this forever. If they hadn't called for "help", he may still be alive.

Or they could be dead.

Either way. Don't dip your pen in crazy?

/Got nothing

28 Nov 2012 01:27 AM
Aulus    [TotalFark]  
About 20 years ago, the Des Moines police got a call about a guy wandering a neighborhood street, waving a butcher knife and talking crazy.

They responded to the scene and found the guy. After repeated orders for the guy to put down the knife, the guy charged one cop, knocked him down and began stabbing him in the chest. Fortunately, the cop had on a bullet-proof vest which offered some protection, so he was not seriously injured. He did, however, pull his service revolver and blew the guy away as he was stabbing him. The guy died on the scene.

A day or so later, the guy's mom was whining to the press about how "They didn't have to kill my baby!"

WTF? He's doing his damnedest to kill the cop and the cop had every damn right in the world to blow his farking head off in self-defense. Even the ACLU told mom to STFU.

28 Nov 2012 01:32 AM
lohphat    [TotalFark]  
It's hard to believe that lethal force was required to subdue a mentally unstable individual.

I know that some cases where heavy narcotics can block pain so that they're hard to take down, but was killing a mental patient really necessary?

28 Nov 2012 01:34 AM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  

lohphat: It's hard to believe that lethal force was required to subdue a mentally unstable individual.


1/10. You might get a few bites with that.

28 Nov 2012 01:36 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  
Heh. Just found out yesterday that my sister's backup boyfriend is in county jail for possession (marijuana), probation violation and resisting arrest. Found out because he keeps trying to call us collect (um, no.), so mom and sis looked him up at the county jail site online - and he's been arrested and tasered before for the exact same thing, so not a single surprise was had in this house. To the best of my knowledge, he was not naked at the time of the incident that led to his arrest. I'm tellin' ya, modern day berzerkers are really substandard. At least this Colorado dude gave it a go before trying to head for Valhalla. (doubt he made it)

/quit being lazy, backup boyfriend, and rampage nekkid!
//it's what all the crazy-cool kids are doing

28 Nov 2012 01:37 AM
MattyBlast    [TotalFark]  
I wish people said I was "holding a machete" while naked. All I've been blessed with is a pen knife.

28 Nov 2012 01:38 AM
thisiszombocom     
Bath salts is a helluva drug

28 Nov 2012 01:38 AM
Practical_Draconian     

MattyBlast: I wish people said I was "holding a machete" while naked. All I've been blessed with is a pen knife.


Just have your lover remind you the pen is mightier.

28 Nov 2012 01:43 AM
Bad_ad85     

lohphat: It's hard to believe that lethal force was required to subdue a mentally unstable individual.

I know that some cases where heavy narcotics can block pain so that they're hard to take down, but was killing a mental patient really necessary?


After two people get knifed? Really?

28 Nov 2012 01:43 AM
Bad_ad85     

HotWingAgenda: lohphat: It's hard to believe that lethal force was required to subdue a mentally unstable individual.

1/10. You might get a few bites with that.


No. Just me.

28 Nov 2012 01:45 AM
Clutch2013     

wildcardjack: [mlkshk.com image 550x356]


And we're done here. Close the thread.

28 Nov 2012 01:45 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

Practical_Draconian: MattyBlast: I wish people said I was "holding a machete" while naked. All I've been blessed with is a pen knife.

Just have your lover remind you the pen is mightier.


F*ck the pen. You can die by the sword.

/obligatory metal head reference, of course

28 Nov 2012 01:49 AM
HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  

Practical_Draconian: MattyBlast: I wish people said I was "holding a machete" while naked. All I've been blessed with is a pen knife.

Just have your lover remind you the pen is mightier.


imstars.aufeminin.comView Full Size


/hot like Trebek's mother

28 Nov 2012 01:51 AM
The All-Powerful Atheismo     

Aulus: About 20 years ago


www.upsidetrader.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 01:56 AM
rocky_howard     
The Mexican farked with the wrong people:

latimesblogs.latimes.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 02:00 AM
Snargi     
A similar incident happened in my town. This is the machete the crazy man was wielding when the cops shot him.

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 02:07 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

Snargi: A similar incident happened in my town. This is the machete the crazy man was wielding when the cops shot him.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 283x300]


Ok, dude, I can't even summon my inner smartass to things like that. Even I know to visualize what I'm about to shoot, including what may or may not be in their hand. I also know to look at the person, not the weapon, as soon as I have identified they actually have a weapon. I took a class on handgun safety and personal/household defense where they even taught us how to hold your gun and a mini maglight at the same time. That way, if someone busted into your house in the dead of night in pitch blackness, you can still identify your target so you don't accidentally whack one of your family members and then blast the hell out of it in a nice, tight pattern. A spatula is not what I'd call "shoot worthy". It's "smack 'em and get 'em away from you because they're nuts or going to waste all your stuff making substandard pancakes" worthy. Soooo not cool when cops make those kinds of "s/he had a dangerous weapon" mistakes and someone pays with their lives.

28 Nov 2012 02:16 AM
Snargi     

Real Women Drink Akvavit: Snargi: A similar incident happened in my town. This is the machete the crazy man was wielding when the cops shot him.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 283x300]

Ok, dude, I can't even summon my inner smartass to things like that. Even I know to visualize what I'm about to shoot, including what may or may not be in their hand. I also know to look at the person, not the weapon, as soon as I have identified they actually have a weapon. I took a class on handgun safety and personal/household defense where they even taught us how to hold your gun and a mini maglight at the same time. That way, if someone busted into your house in the dead of night in pitch blackness, you can still identify your target so you don't accidentally whack one of your family members and then blast the hell out of it in a nice, tight pattern. A spatula is not what I'd call "shoot worthy". It's "smack 'em and get 'em away from you because they're nuts or going to waste all your stuff making substandard pancakes" worthy. Soooo not cool when cops make those kinds of "s/he had a dangerous weapon" mistakes and someone pays with their lives.


Here was the followup story in the Modesto Bee.

/Yes, that Modesto. The home of Scott Peterson, American Graffiti and Gallo Wine.

28 Nov 2012 02:34 AM
DownDaRiver     
Is the family dog ok?

28 Nov 2012 02:40 AM
Real Women Drink Akvavit    [TotalFark]  

Snargi: Real Women Drink Akvavit: Snargi: A similar incident happened in my town. This is the machete the crazy man was wielding when the cops shot him.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 283x300]

Ok, dude, I can't even summon my inner smartass to things like that. Even I know to visualize what I'm about to shoot, including what may or may not be in their hand. I also know to look at the person, not the weapon, as soon as I have identified they actually have a weapon. I took a class on handgun safety and personal/household defense where they even taught us how to hold your gun and a mini maglight at the same time. That way, if someone busted into your house in the dead of night in pitch blackness, you can still identify your target so you don't accidentally whack one of your family members and then blast the hell out of it in a nice, tight pattern. A spatula is not what I'd call "shoot worthy". It's "smack 'em and get 'em away from you because they're nuts or going to waste all your stuff making substandard pancakes" worthy. Soooo not cool when cops make those kinds of "s/he had a dangerous weapon" mistakes and someone pays with their lives.

Here was the followup story in the Modesto Bee.

/Yes, that Modesto. The home of Scott Peterson, American Graffiti and Gallo Wine.


Ahhh, Modesto. Along with Stockton, Bakersfield, Fresno and most of the OC, they are a constant source of horror, embarrassment and amusement.

Actually, I think Cali itself is just whacked in some ways. A friend took me to the Martinez gun club once. (SF Bay Area) She was telling me it was beyond unsafe and trippy and "you totally need to see this, dude!". I go out there with her since we were going to a concert in that area anyway, and they had a full bar inside the gun club and their shooting range faced the oil refinery. Well holy Hel in a neatly wrapped package. Wonder why that made me nervous? I don't know what the chances are of a stray bullet shot by a drunk starting the apocalypse are, but I do know it made me uncomfortable. (though their bartender dude made a great bloody Mary, with real horseradish in it and shrimp on the rim for nibbles!)

Man, sometimes I wonder if I should learn the language of my ancestors and give Norway another shot. Then I remember "year round growing season, with avocados!" and think "nah, I'm chill" and stay put.

/loves Cali, just shakes her head at our stoopid sometimes

28 Nov 2012 04:00 AM
mike_d85     
Was I the only person expecting a TAZERING instead of death?

28 Nov 2012 06:06 AM
Darth Vader Ginsburg     

28 Nov 2012 06:58 AM
philotech     
He was naked... Don't you think a tazer to the junk would have diffused the situation?

28 Nov 2012 07:57 AM
onyxruby     
Why do the crazies always do these things naked? Naked is great for strip clubs etc, but what's the appeal for crazy stuff?

28 Nov 2012 08:18 AM
THX 1138     
Predictable results?

Considering he was naked and had a knife and a machete, my assumption was that he accidentally lopped his cawk off while waving them around.

28 Nov 2012 08:44 AM
Mr. Cat Poop     

Practical_Draconian: Naked and wielding blades?

My werewolf/warrior character in Skyrim often ends up that way during long battles.

That's just how the true Nords roll.


Your wolfman's got nords?

28 Nov 2012 08:45 AM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     

Snargi: Real Women Drink Akvavit: Snargi: A similar incident happened in my town. This is the machete the crazy man was wielding when the cops shot him.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 283x300]

Ok, dude, I can't even summon my inner smartass to things like that. Even I know to visualize what I'm about to shoot, including what may or may not be in their hand. I also know to look at the person, not the weapon, as soon as I have identified they actually have a weapon. I took a class on handgun safety and personal/household defense where they even taught us how to hold your gun and a mini maglight at the same time. That way, if someone busted into your house in the dead of night in pitch blackness, you can still identify your target so you don't accidentally whack one of your family members and then blast the hell out of it in a nice, tight pattern. A spatula is not what I'd call "shoot worthy". It's "smack 'em and get 'em away from you because they're nuts or going to waste all your stuff making substandard pancakes" worthy. Soooo not cool when cops make those kinds of "s/he had a dangerous weapon" mistakes and someone pays with their lives.

Here was the followup story in the Modesto Bee.

/Yes, that Modesto. The home of Scott Peterson, American Graffiti and Gallo Wine.


"fellow residents of the east Modesto home called 911 just after midnight Sunday to report Francisco Moran was intoxicated, belligerent and had a knife.
A family member believed Moran had taken a butcher knife from a dish rack in the kitchen and put it in his rear waistband

officers entered through the open front door of the house in the 500 block of Mary Todd Lane, heard family members yelling that Moran had a knife and saw an elderly man lying injured on the living room floor

The first officer, four-year department veteran Bradley Peterson, used his Taser to no effect after Moran failed to put up his hands and get on the floor, Armendariz said.
Seconds later, Moran reached for the metal handle of what later was discovered to be a spatula and started to lunge at the officers, Armendariz said"

I am sure you two would have thought "hey maybe it's just a spatula he is going for even though the people on scene are screaming he has a knife".

28 Nov 2012 09:40 AM
PunGent     
Knife AND machete?

Told the dude he wasn't specced for dual-wield...

28 Nov 2012 11:14 AM
morg     
I've got to think that these are the only cops in America that don't have tasers otherwise they totally farked up the escalation. If you have a taser why would get close enough to a man (wielding non-projectile weapons) to get cut?

28 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
SirDigbyChickenCaesar     
For all the taser comments, ok: I'll give you a taser and task you to clear a house with a knife wielding maniac inside.

/I'll go ahead and let the ME know he can expect customers.

28 Nov 2012 02:02 PM
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