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   Good news: Oceans are not rising like researchers predicted. Bad news: Oceans are rising *faster* than researchers predicted

28 Nov 2012 10:21 AM   |   7337 clicks   |   Slashdot
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Mentat    [TotalFark]  
It's just the natural result of the end of the Ice Age 10,000 years ago when solar flares started flaring and made Mars hot. Stupid libs.

28 Nov 2012 08:53 AM
Cythraul     
Yay! Raleigh, North Carolina will finally be a port city!

28 Nov 2012 08:56 AM
Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
The problem with these "OMG the sky is falling" climate-change horror predictions is that nobody looks at the big pictures. Oceanographers just look at oceans, Geographers just look at earth. Weatherographers just look at their latest Super Doppler7000 and circle their arms around weather patterns. And so on.

See, data is meaningless when it's taken as an isolated point. See, for example, here's a piece of data:

2230

Impressive, right? Now, if I just told you that number and said it was vitally important, what would happen? I'll tell you what: an entire realm of science would pop into being dedicated to finding out what that number means, how it impacts our life. By the time the 2230ists were finished, the Theory of 2230 would relate to everything. Then other scientists would come along and say, no, you guys are wrong, the real Theory of 2230 is *this*. And so on, and so on, and so on. That's what scientists *do*. They create meaning for things, then other scientists create another meaning, then they argue, then the government gives them grant money.

And here's the kicker: the truth is that 2230 *is* important, but each of them is just looking at it in isolation. Without understanding the big picture. They don't know how all the parts fit together, or even what the parts are. And so they're all wrong.

Don't get it? OK, let's try it this way. Let's pull back the lens a bit, subby, take a look at the situation you're describing. Water levels are rising. Oooh, scary. They're rising faster than predicted. OOOOOOH, scarier. But what happens when you increase the total amount of water in a given surface? Hm?

Volume, remember that? The water's volume increases. OK, see that's something that an oceanographer doesn't consider, because it's about math. So tell me: what happens when a water's volume increases?

That's right, very good. The water becomes heavier. Because there's more of it. Need proof? Here's an experiment for you to conduct: pick up a 5-gallon jug of water. Now pick up a 1-gallon jug. Which is heavier?

So what happens when the water's weight increases? Well, now we're into geography, another part of the big picture. The heavier water pushes down on the ocean's floor. Now, in some places, that will actually make the ocean deeper -- sort of like when the bottom of a plastic dish bows outward. In other places, though, the heavier water won't be able to actually move the floor, but will put tremendous pressure on it. TREMENDOUS pressure. And what happens when you put tremendous pressure on the earth's crust?

That's right, volcanoes. See, now we're into volcanology, which teaches us that magma, which is produced by volcanoes, is earth's building material. The pressure produced by the rising sea will force volcanic eruptions of magma to the surface, which in effect will create new land. So, even as the oceans are rising, land is rising, too. This is how planets get bigger, subby (and -- see? -- we're into astrology now). Do you think the Earth was always this same size? No! Thousands upon thousands of years ago it was much smaller. There was also a lot less water. Now we have lots of water, and lots of land. A few thousand years from now, there will be even more of both. It's the natural way of things. It's science. SCIENCE. But not science studied in isolation, subby. Science as part of the greater whole.

28 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
Cythraul     

Pocket Ninja: The problem with these "OMG the sky is falling" climate-change horror predictions is that nobody looks at the big pictures. Oceanographers just look at oceans, Geographers just look at earth. Weatherographers just look at their latest Super Doppler7000 and circle their arms around weather patterns. And so on.

See, data is meaningless when it's taken as an isolated point. See, for example, here's a piece of data:

2230


I [heart] Pocket Ninja. I am now a firm believer in 2230.

28 Nov 2012 09:24 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
www.dvdtimes.co.ukView Full Size


Everyone stay calm! This is not happening!

28 Nov 2012 10:05 AM
Cythraul     

Sybarite: [www.dvdtimes.co.uk image 600x322]

Everyone stay calm! This is not happening!


♪ Tee, tum! ♫ Tee tum! ♪

28 Nov 2012 10:07 AM
bim1154     
The earth just reinvents itself on a regular basis. Nothing to see here are get excited about.

28 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
TV's Vinnie     
No matter how mad it gets, Earth still won't end up like Waterworld.

28 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
starsrift     
Oh, fark, two GW threads posted to Main already, and it's not even noon.

It's going to be one of those days.


I'm gonna need more liquor.

28 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
bim1154     

bim1154: The earth just reinvents itself on a regular basis. Nothing to see here are or get excited about.


28 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
HAMMERTOE     
If this is true, why did Al Gore just buy oceanfront property?

28 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
cranked     
FREE 2230! FREE 2230! FREE 2230!

28 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
Smeggy Smurf     

Cythraul: Pocket Ninja: The problem with these "OMG the sky is falling" climate-change horror predictions is that nobody looks at the big pictures. Oceanographers just look at oceans, Geographers just look at earth. Weatherographers just look at their latest Super Doppler7000 and circle their arms around weather patterns. And so on.

See, data is meaningless when it's taken as an isolated point. See, for example, here's a piece of data:

2230

I [heart] Pocket Ninja. I am now a firm believer in 2230.


2230 causes autism you heartless bastard

28 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
Zion21     
More beach for everyone!
rewardslink.infoView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
ChrisDe     
www.webspawner.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
fluffy2097     
It's to late to do anything, and we don't know what to do even if we could. It's to complex a system and we've pushed it to far out of whack.

/If you'll excuse me, I've got to mount pontoons to my apartment.

28 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
cwheelie     
It's a brand new album for 1990....


obscure?

28 Nov 2012 10:28 AM
H31N0US     

Pocket Ninja: 2230


That was beautiful. I read it in a southern car salesman's voice.

28 Nov 2012 10:28 AM
Walker    [TotalFark]  
I hate having to drive 3 hours to reach the ocean. The quicker it gets to me the better.

/be right back, melting some icebergs

28 Nov 2012 10:29 AM
IlGreven     

bim1154: The earth just reinvents itself on a regular basis. Nothing to see here are get excited about.


The last time the earth "reinvented" itself on a scale like this, the dinosaurs died out (or became chickens).

28 Nov 2012 10:31 AM
tricycleracer     

Pocket Ninja: astrology


I lost it bad right there. Good thing I wasn't drinking coffee.

28 Nov 2012 10:31 AM
imtheonlylp     
Awesome! The world WON'T be taken over by Zombies, because everyone knows they can't swim!

28 Nov 2012 10:33 AM
HindiDiscoMonster     

Pocket Ninja: The problem with these "OMG the sky is falling" climate-change horror predictions is that nobody looks at the big pictures. Oceanographers just look at oceans, Geographers just look at earth. Weatherographers just look at their latest Super Doppler7000 and circle their arms around weather patterns. And so on.


Panoramas?

/btw... love your work :)

28 Nov 2012 10:33 AM
CheekyMonkey     
Well, of course it seems like the Ocean is rising faster than predicted. Stupid Lib scientists failed to account for the Storm surge from Hurricane Sandy.

28 Nov 2012 10:33 AM
apotheosis27     

Pocket Ninja: The problem with these...


you are the strangest and most wonderful person on the internets

28 Nov 2012 10:34 AM
MaliFinn     
Obviously, we need to detonate the Yellowstone caldera to trigger a supervolcano and rapidly cool the Earth for 100 years or so.

28 Nov 2012 10:35 AM
clane     
SCARY tag? only too the sheep

28 Nov 2012 10:35 AM
CheekyMonkey     

IlGreven: bim1154: The earth just reinvents itself on a regular basis. Nothing to see here are get excited about.

The last time the earth "reinvented" itself on a scale like this, the dinosaurs died out (or became chickens).


This is happening just at the right time. Global Warming=really hot summers=more old people dying of heatstroke=Social Security & Medicare remaining in the black for a longer period.

\ta da!

28 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
HindiDiscoMonster     

starsrift: Oh, fark, two GW threads posted to Main already, and it's not even noon.

It's going to be one of those days.


I'm gonna need more liquor.


Pick me up some rum while you are there... something nice... mixable, sip-able, but not to expensive... maybe:

ecx.images-amazon.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
HindiDiscoMonster     

clane: SCARY tag? only tootwo the sheep


/FTFY

28 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
spentmiles     
In the 260 years since the Industrial Revolution, mankind has managed to destroy a 4.5 billion year old planet. Despite the negative press, you really have to marvel at our power. We are a truly unique and innovative species with more power sitting on our shoulders than all the suns in the universe. If there is life out there on other planets, I cannot imagine it even coming close to our immense strength. We shall rule the universe just as we've ruled the apes of our own planet. Bow at our feet or suffer our wrath!

28 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
bim1154     

IlGreven: bim1154: The earth just reinvents itself on a regular basis. Nothing to see here are get excited about.

The last time the earth "reinvented" itself on a scale like this, the dinosaurs died out (or became chickens).


Your thought process in the overall dynamics of earth's history is pretty weak if that's all you have.

28 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
docilej     
Better inform Jamie Foxx's "lord and savior" about this. After all didn't he promise that he'd make the oceans recede?

28 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
jonas opines     
I need to remember to identify the poster before reading the post, or I spend way too much time blinking quizzically when I stumble across Pocket Ninja content.

28 Nov 2012 10:38 AM
HindiDiscoMonster     

bim1154: IlGreven: bim1154: The earth just reinvents itself on a regular basis. Nothing to see here are get excited about.

The last time the earth "reinvented" itself on a scale like this, the dinosaurs died out (or became chickens).

Your thought process in the overall dynamics of earth's history is pretty weak if that's all you have.


i know, right? everyone knows the earth is 6000yrs old, and dinosaurs are Satan's way to test faith.

28 Nov 2012 10:39 AM
MaliFinn     

docilej: Better inform Jamie Foxx's "lord and savior" about this. After all didn't he promise that he'd make the oceans recede?


That's it! Let's clone Moses a few hundred times and post him in lighthouses to hold back the water.

28 Nov 2012 10:39 AM
Grungehamster     
People who mocked Obama for claiming in 2008 that future people would look back at that election as the turning point when we would begin to see the rise of the oceans slow because they thought he was a fool for believing that global warming was real and thought it was a sign of his arrogance that he believed he could cause the sea to recede like some latter-day Moses.

Expect these same people to be complaining about Obama breaking this promise in this topic, before going into another topic within the next month to claim the EPA should be eliminated because it exists only a tool for Obama to attempt to strike down capitalism.

28 Nov 2012 10:40 AM
sodomizer     
3.2mm per year?

Are we sure this isn't a natural fluctuation?

28 Nov 2012 10:42 AM
clane     
just wait 10 more years we will be back to the global cooling scare

greenplanetethics.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 10:43 AM
Tatterdemalian     
So are the environmentalists going to allow geoengineering research, or keep it banned on the grounds that an industrial solution will only encourage more industry, rather than eliminating it?

28 Nov 2012 10:45 AM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

HAMMERTOE: If this is true, why did Al Gore just buy oceanfront property?


Because he has THE MONEY.

28 Nov 2012 10:45 AM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

Sybarite: [www.dvdtimes.co.uk image 600x322]

Everyone stay calm! This is not happening!


So, walk to where the camera is you idiots!

Jebus only sends so many boats.

28 Nov 2012 10:46 AM
Arthurgoboom     
I almost fed the troll.

28 Nov 2012 10:46 AM
snocone    [TotalFark]  

sodomizer: 3.2mm per year?

Are we sure this isn't a natural fluctuation?


Is this about 3.2mm? >I I

I am so afeared!

28 Nov 2012 10:47 AM
LovingTeacher     

Pocket Ninja: The problem with these "OMG the sky is falling" climate-change horror predictions is that nobody looks at the big pictures. Oceanographers just look at oceans, Geographers just look at earth. Weatherographers just look at their latest Super Doppler7000 and circle their arms around weather patterns. And so on.

See, data is meaningless when it's taken as an isolated point. See, for example, here's a piece of data:

2230

Impressive,


This is the most impressive I've seen from you so far, kudos to you sir. Keep up the effort. You have made my morning, maybe I will even share this with my physics class and show them the wisdom of the internet.

28 Nov 2012 10:49 AM
WelldeadLink     
But the people who run the satellites say that this satellite data is messed up.
Link

28 Nov 2012 10:50 AM
rwa2     
Scary tag is for Fark linking to Slashdot. My worlds are colliding!

28 Nov 2012 10:52 AM
WelldeadLink     
How can that be an unfetchable link, Fark? I fetched it. Fetch.
Link

28 Nov 2012 10:52 AM
Howard Finkelstein     
I, too, have found evidence of 2230:

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
NEVER FORGET

28 Nov 2012 10:53 AM
Farking Canuck     

spentmiles: In the 260 years since the Industrial Revolution, mankind has managed to destroy a 4.5 billion year old planet. Despite the negative press, you really have to marvel at our power. We are a truly unique and innovative species with more power sitting on our shoulders than all the suns in the universe. If there is life out there on other planets, I cannot imagine it even coming close to our immense strength. We shall rule the universe just as we've ruled the apes of our own planet. Bow at our feet or suffer our wrath!


Wow ... epic stupidity.

Nobody is saying the planet will be destroyed. What is happening is the planet's climate is shifting to a place that will significantly reduce how well it supports human life. The planet will be fine ... human populations will suffer significant negative affects.

If you have to put up a strawman to attack AGW then shouldn't you re-evaluate your position?Or is arguing from lies normal for you?

28 Nov 2012 10:55 AM
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