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   Two dudes made whiskey sours, built a raft, and tried to sail down a raging river during Superstorm Sandy because they very badly need to pick up some goodies at Walmart

28 Nov 2012 04:20 PM   |   10479 clicks   |   Washington Post
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Endive Wombat    [TotalFark]  
I wonder how much that cost the city?

Those dumb motherfarkers should have been left to drown. Farking idiots.

28 Nov 2012 01:28 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
Whiskey Sours are a damned fine idea, but I would have stopped there.

28 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
...they used a rubber raft "rigged with a piece of plywood in the bottom and swim noodles for stability"

How could they possibly fail?

28 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
i369.photobucket.comView Full Size
">

Hope they have to pay the bill for that rescue.


/and they got their balls tased when no one was watching

28 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
And we died a thousand times in that forty miles of hell
The longest day of life we'd ever seen
But we lived to tell the story and we know the story well
The day we ran the rapids of the Green...er, Monocacy

28 Nov 2012 02:20 PM
SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
if there is a place to go worth dying for in a hurricane, it is wal mart.

28 Nov 2012 02:26 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Today's Tom Sawyer

28 Nov 2012 02:58 PM
JasonThomasX     
Some people watch too much Bear Grylls on TV or something

28 Nov 2012 04:23 PM
cgraves67     
What the hell, Darwin? Were you sleeping at your post again?

28 Nov 2012 04:24 PM
Slartibeerfest     
No "Hero" tag?

28 Nov 2012 04:25 PM
dv-ous     
Whiskey Thread!

At home waiting:

www.liquorlockerla.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 04:26 PM
olapbill     

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Today's Tom Sawyer


Mean mean Pride.

28 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  
If they had the ingredients for whiskey sours at home, what the hell did they need at Walmart?

28 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     

tried to sail down a raging river during Superstorm Sandy


How exactly did they plan to sail back UP the raging river?


something something cunning plan

28 Nov 2012 04:29 PM
DownDaRiver     
dnrtfa, but if Subbsies headline is acurate (which they never are) that sounds like a hell of a fun thing to do

Off to read article knowing that I am probably going to be leaving disapointed, but hopefully not

28 Nov 2012 04:30 PM
Beerguy    [TotalFark]  
What are their Fark handles?

28 Nov 2012 04:33 PM
Headso    [TotalFark]  
Kingsbury's wife begged him not to go and refused to pick them up after their shopping, but a friend did agree to help them out.

Best part of the story right there...

28 Nov 2012 04:34 PM
Lunaville     

Headso: Kingsbury's wife begged him not to go and refused to pick them up after their shopping, but a friend did agree to help them out.

Best part of the story right there...


No, this is the best part: " ... there were hints of fear - but not from the water. The paper quotes the incident report saying: "(Kingsbury) advised that his wife would be furious with him."

28 Nov 2012 04:36 PM
tallen702     
This is the river under the 355 bridge (downstream of where they were by about 8 river miles) at normal levels:


This is the river in the same spot during the flood in the article:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size


Dumbshiats... they wouldn't have even been able to get under any of the bridges if they'd stayed afloat, and there are 2-3 between their put-in and where they'd take out.

28 Nov 2012 04:37 PM
tallen702     
Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before:
mw2.google.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 04:39 PM
Zarquon's Flat Tire     

olapbill: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Today's Tom Sawyer

Mean mean Pride.


Thank you, you guys have driven "Doe Ray Me" from the Sound of Music out of my head.

28 Nov 2012 04:39 PM
Endive Wombat    [TotalFark]  

tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]


Whoa...they would have lost their heads!

28 Nov 2012 04:40 PM
Buckner     
"Two dudes made whiskey sours"

dudes = wine cooler drinking pussies

28 Nov 2012 04:42 PM
CruJones     
Don't you need a sail to go sailing? More like they wanted to float down the river.

28 Nov 2012 04:42 PM
furiousxgeorge     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
tallen702     

Endive Wombat: tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]

Whoa...they would have lost their heads!


That's IF they even made it to the deck. The hydraulics generated by the piers on the upriver side were massive and sucking down whole trees.

You can kind of see them in this picture. See the water piling up on the front of the pylon? See the whirlpools/re-circulation to the sides of the pier/pylon? Yep, that's bad juju right there:
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size

28 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
groppet     
Damn they are still in my state and alive!?!??! The wife should have checked the ole life insurance policy

28 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
odinsposse     

Gyrfalcon: If they had the ingredients for whiskey sours at home, what the hell did they need at Walmart?


Maybe they wanted to switch to Old Fashioneds.

28 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
Endive Wombat    [TotalFark]  

tallen702: Endive Wombat: tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]

Whoa...they would have lost their heads!

That's IF they even made it to the deck. The hydraulics generated by the piers on the upriver side were massive and sucking down whole trees.

You can kind of see them in this picture. See the water piling up on the front of the pylon? See the whirlpools/re-circulation to the sides of the pier/pylon? Yep, that's bad juju right there:
[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x637]


How far from the road surface was the water? 10 feet?

28 Nov 2012 04:55 PM
Spanky McStupid     
"Paddle faster! I hear banjos!"

28 Nov 2012 04:57 PM
spottymax     
High on the rapids
It struck their tiny raft.
And plunged them down a thousand feet below.
To the Land of the Lost.

28 Nov 2012 05:00 PM
Amish Animal Scientist     

Endive Wombat: tallen702: Endive Wombat: tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]

Whoa...they would have lost their heads!

That's IF they even made it to the deck. The hydraulics generated by the piers on the upriver side were massive and sucking down whole trees.

You can kind of see them in this picture. See the water piling up on the front of the pylon? See the whirlpools/re-circulation to the sides of the pier/pylon? Yep, that's bad juju right there:
[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x637]

How far from the road surface was the water? 10 feet?


When I drove on that bridge a day after the hurricane, the water was about 2 feet from the bottom of the bridge.

There are two Walmarts in Frederick, the one I assume they were going to is approximately 4 miles upstream of the bridge over MD-355.

Still, they're farking retarded.

28 Nov 2012 05:01 PM
tallen702     

Endive Wombat:

How far from the road surface was the water? 10 feet?


In that picture, about 6' or so. It was close to cresting.

Amish Animal Scientist:

When I drove on that bridge a day after the hurricane, the water was about 2 feet from the bottom of the bridge.

There are two Walmarts in Frederick, the one I assume they were going to is approximately 4 miles upstream of the bridge over MD-355.

Still, they're farking retarded.


Yeah, they were headed to the Monocacy blvd one. And yeah, they're super retarded.

28 Nov 2012 05:08 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

tallen702: This is the river under the 355 bridge (downstream of where they were by about 8 river miles) at normal levels:


This is the river in the same spot during the flood in the article:
[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 0x0]

Dumbshiats... they wouldn't have even been able to get under any of the bridges if they'd stayed afloat, and there are 2-3 between their put-in and where they'd take out.


JESUS! The floodwater were so high the pictures are gone!

28 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
picturescrazy     

Marcus Aurelius: Whiskey Sours are a damned fine idea, but I would have stopped there.



Yup. Hurricane coming? Board up the winders and open up the bottles. Just stay safe in your home.

28 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
Smeggy Smurf    [TotalFark]  
Pat, Retch and Crazy Eddie scoff at their "raft". It wasn't even submergible

28 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
KrispyKritter     

groppet: Damn they are still in my state and alive!?!??! The wife should have checked the ole life insurance policy


seriously. all paid up = wife is mounting scope to the old Kill-More2000, chugs on down the road in teh SUV from hell to find a good vantage point. plink plink, what's that? that's the sound of the fat lady singing. wife dials 1-800-write the check Premium Boy, lives happily ever after.

28 Nov 2012 05:26 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  

Beerguy: What are their Fark handles?


28 Nov 2012 05:28 PM
DjangoStonereaver    [TotalFark]  
People forget that Maryland is below the Mason/Dixon line.

28 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
Baz the Spaz     
Beer run?

28 Nov 2012 05:32 PM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

tallen702: Yep, that's bad juju right there:


No it isn't. Juju passed away a decade ago, and she wasn't *THAT* bad of a cat.

28 Nov 2012 05:41 PM
billygeek     
Ugh, white people....

28 Nov 2012 05:43 PM
Oldiron_79     
Be glad they was doing this up north, down south rafting stories usually involve banjo music and someone making animal noises

28 Nov 2012 05:49 PM
uncleacid     
Tom Collins to the rescue.

28 Nov 2012 05:51 PM
Clemkadidlefark     
Evolution in Action™

28 Nov 2012 05:53 PM
special20    [TotalFark]  
FTFA: Additionally, Bowers said he had not changed his view about the trip and would do it again.
"Absolutely, better boat next time,"

Ah, the American spirit I know and love.

28 Nov 2012 05:59 PM
The Southern Dandy     
♫♪ I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free...to do some Darwin taunting shiat and have tax payer funded first responders bail me out ♫♪

28 Nov 2012 06:37 PM
Noticeably F.A.T.    [TotalFark]  

Smeggy Smurf: Pat, Retch and Crazy Eddie scoff at their "raft". It wasn't even submergible


Now there's a reference you don't see often.

28 Nov 2012 06:39 PM
Girion47     

special20: FTFA: Additionally, Bowers said he had not changed his view about the trip and would do it again.
"Absolutely, better boat next time,"

Ah, the American spirit I know and love.


I would have taken my kayak.

28 Nov 2012 06:44 PM
Joe The Plumber     
CSB
In central AZ, i knew some guys who tried the same thing when the (normally dry or trickling ) Agua Fria River flooded. Destination: Phoenix ... 60 miles south. they made it about 8 miles before running into a similar fate (barbed wire fence in this case).

/CSB

28 Nov 2012 06:47 PM
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