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   The hidden demonology of Dora the Explorer, Exposed

29 Nov 2012 01:32 PM   |   26597 clicks   |   Pop Matters
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Elzar     
So basically 'Swipe no swiping' is an exorcism, swiper the fox is the devil and the baby jesus needs our money or he'll cry. It sounds like we have finally found one of the mythical 'true' christians in their native habit: scare-mongering kids and bravely defending the lord from the evils of dora and her illegal immigrant rhethoric.

29 Nov 2012 09:58 AM
kid_icarus     
TFA so much reminds me of this...

i76.photobucket.comView Full Size



/anyone else have their childhood ruined by this garbage?

29 Nov 2012 10:04 AM
brap    [TotalFark]  
My friends' daughter is a Dora The Explorer fanatic and is generally watching it when I come over for dinner or to hang out.  Last time she was watching it I said, "If you ever are hiking and come across a pit full of six giant pythons like Dora just did, you probably shouldn't befriend them."
 
That got the dagger glare.  Three year old's dagger glares cut deep, I tell you what.

29 Nov 2012 10:59 AM
Mugato    [TotalFark]  
To me, a professor and scholar of the history of Christianity

"Hehe, what a waste of time."

.Bill, Groundhog Day

29 Nov 2012 11:23 AM
Snarfangel     
Dora the Explorer, exposed? Rule 34 takes another victim.

29 Nov 2012 11:27 AM
Elzar     

Mugato: To me, a professor and scholar of the history of Christianity

"Hehe, what a waste of time."

.Bill, Groundhog Day


I snerked when I read that in the article too. Pratchett-like witch series typing detected...

29 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
scottydoesntknow    [TotalFark]  
1 July 2008

People have known about this for 4 years and didn't say anything?!

CSB:

My next door neighbor was really into the Pokemon trading cards. I never really liked them (played Magic myself), but he spent all his money on buying more and more cards. Now, his family was super religious, to the point where the mom home-schooled them to keep them away from the devil that was public school.

Anyway, he comes over one day with this box, and he's just bawling his eyes out. I asked him what's wrong and he says "My sister and I got in a big fight. She went on the internet and found this article proving that Pokemon were a creation by the devil to distract kids from God. My mom is making me give away all my cards!" I asked him what he wanted me to do and he just yells "get rid of them I don't care!" and throws the box down and runs home. Well I took the box, brought it down to the trading card store a few days later and ended up selling the lot for about $700 (this was back when those holo ones could go for $100 each). I was like 12-13 at the time so that was a shiat-ton of money.

Went to his house the next day and handed him $400 in cash and told him to go buy a Playstation 2. I took mine and bought an Xbox. He bought the sports/racing/non-violent games, and I took care of the gory, M-rated games. Worked out well for both of us.

/CSB

29 Nov 2012 11:47 AM
roc6783     
I feel bad for having clicked and read any of that garbage. That being said, when my daughter was born, i told my wife that she will not even know Dora is a thing until she starts interacting with other kids. 6+ months on and I am still winning that battle.

//Still have a sneaking suspicion that my wife is better at picking battles than I am though.

29 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
hubiestubert    [TotalFark]  
I can only imagine the horror that must be Sesame Street to this rigid scholar...

29 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
kid_icarus     
Sad thing is, I would normally swear an article like that was satire, except that I know for a fact certain evangelicals take it to that level of insanity with total, serious conviction.

When I was a kid, me and my brother had to throw away all of our He-Man and Thundercat toys after our parents were made aware that said shows promote witchcraft. As a rule of thumb (for evangelicals), "witchcraft" was any sort of supernatural power that was explicitly stated as coming from our Lord God.

29 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
AdolfOliverPanties     
"Swiper! No swiping" = "The power of Christ compels you!"

Also, I never viewed Dora as sexy until Jessica Alba did this:

assets.flavorwire.comView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  

AdolfOliverPanties: "Swiper! No swiping" = "The power of Christ compels you!"

Also, I never viewed Dora as sexy until Jessica Alba did this:

[assets.flavorwire.com image 435x580]


So, what you're saying is you'd like to take Boots the Monkey exploring in her cave?

29 Nov 2012 01:02 PM
slayer199    [TotalFark]  
I read the first two paragraphs before I came to the conclusion that TFA has too much time on their hands.

29 Nov 2012 01:09 PM
Cheron     

Snarfangel: Dora the Explorer, exposed? Rule 34 takes another victim.


FTA:"Dora and her monkey friend named Boots (who incidentally wears nothing but boots)",

while not technically Dora some of my favorite videos involve characters only wearing boots

29 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  
I read that as dermatology...


/so she has zits??

29 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
Famous Thamas     

Snarfangel: Dora the Explorer, exposed? Rule 34 takes another victim.


Dora was probably Rule 34'd the day she was created. Do your self a favor and do a google image search with safe search off.

29 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
tricycleracer     
Is this satire? Please tell me this is satire.

29 Nov 2012 01:38 PM
Sock Ruh Tease     
If anything about this show is evil, it's that Dora suffocates a living map in her backpack.

29 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
devine    [TotalFark]  
I read somewhere that Dora is the maid's kid.

29 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
Pants full of macaroni!!     

kid_icarus: TFA so much reminds me of this...

[i76.photobucket.com image 300x300]


/anyone else have their childhood ruined by this garbage?


Boy, he really went downhill after recording "Sea Of Love".

29 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
dr.zaeus     

AdolfOliverPanties: "Swiper! No swiping" = "The power of Christ compels you!"

Also, I never viewed Dora as sexy until Jessica Alba did this:

[assets.flavorwire.com image 435x580]


Ditto for Ariel Winter...

/seat over there

29 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
The Southern Dandy     
So the gist of the article is that a modern make-believe story is like ancient make-believe stories?

29 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
Wellon Dowd     
thebertshow.comView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
Slaves2Darkness     
Man, is this biatch high?

29 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
Mock26     
She is just a mule smuggling illegal immigrants across the border.

29 Nov 2012 01:41 PM
Sticky Hands    [TotalFark]  
Swiper isn't a demon he's a bully and a griefer.
Just a dickbag that gets his jollies by messing with folks.
He'll swipe, toss it over the fence and then run off.

29 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
hdhale     
Foxes are crafty, sneaky in the real world and in ancient and modern lore.

Satan is crafty, sneaky in the Bible and some would say in the real world.

Author draws obvious parallels.

Why is this even an article?

29 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
TrainingWheelsNeeded     

roc6783: I feel bad for having clicked and read any of that garbage. That being said, when my daughter was born, i told my wife that she will not even know Dora is a thing until she starts interacting with other kids. 6+ months on and I am still winning that battle.

//Still have a sneaking suspicion that my wife is better at picking battles than I am though.


you will lose. you will soon be able moving to the rhythm of a little song with only three words, "I'm The Map!

29 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
Hector Remarkable     
Rain, rain, go away.
Come again some other day and kill them all in Satan's name.

29 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
The Slush     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
Smeggy Smurf     
profile.ak.fbcdn.netView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 01:46 PM
DarkSoulNoHope     
"Can you tell me why my father left me?"

/obscure?

29 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
BronyMedic     
What the fark did I just read?

29 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
MaliFinn     
You were on to something but took it in the wrong direction - religion is a bunch of superstitions that are written for mental 5-yr olds

29 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

Wellon Dowd: [thebertshow.com image 261x254]


HAWT!!!!!!


or

"I'D HIT THAT!!!"

/go for the creepiest.

29 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
Nonrepeating Rotating Binary     
Derper, no derping
Derper, no derping
Derper, no derping

29 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

TrainingWheelsNeeded: roc6783: I feel bad for having clicked and read any of that garbage. That being said, when my daughter was born, i told my wife that she will not even know Dora is a thing until she starts interacting with other kids. 6+ months on and I am still winning that battle.

//Still have a sneaking suspicion that my wife is better at picking battles than I am though.

you will lose. you will soon be able moving to the rhythm of a little song with only three words, "I'm The Map!


And you will be hypnotized by the wide-eyed stare of Boots the Monkey:

images.hellokids.comView Full Size
 

Those eyes will peer into the very depths of your soul.

29 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
Son of Thunder     
What the Buggy Ding-Dong did I just read?

29 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
Amos Quito     
cbssanfran.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Tune in for next week's installment...

29 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
meat0918     
The first Dora my kids ever watched had her traveling to "High Mountain". It was so obnoxious it has stuck in my brain.

To this day, several years later, whenever my kids ask "Where are we going?" I cannot help myself and I say "High Mountain" in that same voice.

29 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
Gleeman     
To me, a professor and scholar of the history of Christianity

i.imgur.comView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
theorellior    [TotalFark]  
Okay, people, calm down. It was a mildly interesting article about the mythological archetypes that the human psyche has carried with it through the ages, and how that translates to young psychological development. Although the author may or may not be a Christian, fundie, crazy person or all three in combination, it really wasn't much of a religious tract, more of a comparative religious tract.

Dora is annoying because the way the actor voices her it's LIKE SHE'S SHOUTING ALL THE TIME.

29 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
Flakeloaf     
To me, a professor and scholar of the history of Christianity

When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a strawman for the ficitious bogeyman you've invented.

29 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
wambu     
I'm more concerned about his funny uncle, Toucher. Will a similar incantation work on him?

29 Nov 2012 01:53 PM
Gabrin_Kinoda     

ChipNASA: I read that as dermatology...


Oh good, I wasn't the only one...

29 Nov 2012 01:53 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
Indeed, the fox is a common symbol for the evil and chaotic presence

You can't explain that!

29 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
filter     
The American version? Dora's shrill voice is like a drill in my brain. Kill me now. I usually switch the language to Dutch or French. Shows so damn repetitive that kids still can follow it.

29 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
reillan     

Gleeman: To me, a professor and scholar of the history of Christianity

[i.imgur.com image 504x298]


I wish I had actually believed this before pursuing my masters in English.

/thank you for calling the ____ service desk

29 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

Gabrin_Kinoda: ChipNASA: I read that as dermatology...


Oh good, I wasn't the only one...


Maybe we should have read it as " DERPatology"

29 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
XplodedSynapses     
FTFA: If we could get children to treat all such "old enemies" with compassion and understanding, they might indeed understand one of the central tenants of the Christian tradition, unfortunately lost by the most "pious" among us: "Love thy enemy." Then, perhaps, we adults may all learn from our children to do the same to our foes, whether we conceive of them as demonic or not.


Ok. That whole article to close with those two sentences? Was Dora really the vehicle necessary to reach that conclusion?
Methinks said professor may be dealing with a few demons himself.

/Begins to chant: 'Swiper, no Swiping!'

29 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
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