(full site)
Fark.com

Try out our new mobile site!


Back To Main
   This year, Chicago has seen 467 homicides. Plus one guy murdered by an angry gang of swans

29 Nov 2012 04:07 PM   |   5955 clicks   |   Illinois State Journal-Register
Showing 1-50 of 85 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
simplicimus     
Well, if you can't tell the difference between a goose and a swan, you may be starting off with a handicap.

29 Nov 2012 02:21 PM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
This is (at best) a followup to "When will people learn that you never bring a kayak to a swan fight?" from April.

29 Nov 2012 02:49 PM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat    [TotalFark]  
Sounds like it's a mute point now.

29 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
simplicimus     

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Sounds like it's a mute point now.


Clever.

29 Nov 2012 03:57 PM
simplicimus     
And completely OT Link. Just because, well swans.

29 Nov 2012 04:05 PM
Dinobot     
That's the chicago way

29 Nov 2012 04:08 PM
MyRandomName     
If only we could bring this outstanding liberal mecca to the national level.

29 Nov 2012 04:11 PM
skinink     
I tell you, I tell you everything. He look, he looka lika man.

29 Nov 2012 04:12 PM
simplicimus     

Dinobot: That's the chicago way


They bring a kayak, you bring a swan.

29 Nov 2012 04:14 PM
Englebert Slaptyback    [TotalFark]  

Plus one guy murdered by an angry gang of swans


The swan's escaped.

From the castle.

Sincerely,

Peter Ian Staker

29 Nov 2012 04:15 PM
red5ish     
If you don't study your P.G. Wodehouse you suffer the consequences.

29 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
ShadowLAnCeR     
You know what would solve their swan/good problem?

world.guns.ruView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
TomD9938     

MyRandomName: If only we could bring this outstanding liberal mecca to the national level.


We'd all be up to our necks in swans then.

29 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
Wellon Dowd     
Wow. DC is on pace to have its lowest number of homicides since 1963.

29 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
Rreal     
to be fair, the guy kinda looked like a pig and was munching on a fried egg at the time

29 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
jeffreyh     
Let's sell Detroit to Chicago then give Canada Illinois.

Goose.

29 Nov 2012 04:19 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
The original 'Angry Birds'
img577.imageshack.usView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 04:20 PM
Red_Fox     
467! Holy Shiat. I thought the WELL under 100 a year we have in Toronto was bad.

29 Nov 2012 04:20 PM
poot_rootbeer     
cdn.hark.comView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 04:20 PM
Chinchillazilla     
In a cruel twist, the same swans played Taps on their trumpets at his funeral.

29 Nov 2012 04:22 PM
snowshovel     

MyRandomName: If only we could bring this outstanding liberal mecca to the national level.


To be fair, I believe that the murder rate was going down...until the handgun ban was declared unconstitutional, at which point gun murders have started to go up. There's probably a reason why fox news doesn't use Chicago as a comparison / contrast when gun rules change.

//actually weather probably has a larger factor in gun murders than gun laws...who the heck is going to go out and cap someone when it's 10 degrees below zero. The last few winters have been exceptionally mild.

29 Nov 2012 04:22 PM
Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy     

jeffreyh: Let's sell Detroit to Chicago then give Canada Illinois.

Goose.


No, no. Illinois gets divided down the middle. The West half goes to Missouri and the East half goes to Indiana.

And Chicago simply goes to Hell.

29 Nov 2012 04:23 PM
farm machine     
This year, Chicago has seen 467 homicides.

They televise them out there? Is that on basic cable or is it a premium channel?

29 Nov 2012 04:23 PM
Dimensio    [TotalFark]  

ShadowLAnCeR: You know what would solve their swan/good problem?

[world.guns.ru image 500x203]


That firearm is prohibited, as an "assault weapon", in Cook County as a means of preventing high rates of violent crime.

/It is also restricted as a "destructive device" under the National Firearms Act.

29 Nov 2012 04:23 PM
Chinchillazilla     

snowshovel: MyRandomName: If only we could bring this outstanding liberal mecca to the national level.

To be fair, I believe that the murder rate was going down...until the handgun ban was declared unconstitutional, at which point gun murders have started to go up. There's probably a reason why fox news doesn't use Chicago as a comparison / contrast when gun rules change.

//actually weather probably has a larger factor in gun murders than gun laws...who the heck is going to go out and cap someone when it's 10 degrees below zero. The last few winters have been exceptionally mild.


Of course, the flip side is, when it's ten degrees below zero, you're trapped inside with your family, so I would expect domestic violence to rise in that weather.

29 Nov 2012 04:25 PM
Zafler     

Chinchillazilla: In a cruel twist, the same swans played Taps on their trumpets at his funeral.


Oh hell, child hood flashback. WTH was the name of that book. Trumpet of the Swan.

Damn, it's been 20 years since I've thought of that book.

29 Nov 2012 04:25 PM
LarryDan43     
Tell Chief Keef the swans disrespected him. Problem solved.

29 Nov 2012 04:26 PM
Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker     
Detroit has had 343 homicides so far this year. Come on Detroit! Slackers.

29 Nov 2012 04:29 PM
cgraves67     
See even Chicago has it's instances of white-on-white gang-related crime.

29 Nov 2012 04:31 PM
r0Be     
Better than falling prey to a vicious gang of keep left signs.

29 Nov 2012 04:32 PM
Chinchillazilla     

Zafler: Chinchillazilla: In a cruel twist, the same swans played Taps on their trumpets at his funeral.

Oh hell, child hood flashback. WTH was the name of that book. Trumpet of the Swan.

Damn, it's been 20 years since I've thought of that book.


I loved it as a kid. I don't really remember it now, but all those E.B. White "animals-doing-human-activities" books were right up my alley.

29 Nov 2012 04:33 PM
bullwinkl     

Englebert Slaptyback: Plus one guy murdered by an angry gang of swans


The swan's escaped.

From the castle.

Sincerely,

Peter Ian Staker


Ha ha. Very funny. PIS taker. I get it.

29 Nov 2012 04:34 PM
Vertdang     
www.dneg.comView Full Size


The swan's escaped.

29 Nov 2012 04:35 PM
AgentBang     
A goose, not a swan, but still...oblig?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OStX_ wrWGg

29 Nov 2012 04:35 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

snowshovel: MyRandomName: If only we could bring this outstanding liberal mecca to the national level.

To be fair, I believe that the murder rate was going down...until the handgun ban was declared unconstitutional, at which point gun murders have started to go up. There's probably a reason why fox news doesn't use Chicago as a comparison / contrast when gun rules change.

//actually weather probably has a larger factor in gun murders than gun laws...who the heck is going to go out and cap someone when it's 10 degrees below zero. The last few winters have been exceptionally mild.


Feel free to explain all the years before the handgun ban where the murder rate was higher:

i.imgur.comView Full Size


80% of the murders in Chicago are gang related. Them boys give zero farks if they are legally or illegally carrying a weapon. If the cops come around, it's probably because they've already broken several laws.

29 Nov 2012 04:36 PM
Scrotastic Method     
Likely victim:

thetvjunkie.netView Full Size

29 Nov 2012 04:36 PM
GQueue     
When you play the game of swans, you win or you die.

29 Nov 2012 04:36 PM
Oliver Twisted     

Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker: Detroit has had 343 homicides so far this year. Come on Detroit! Slackers.


There were only 345 people left in Detroit at the start of the year so...

29 Nov 2012 04:37 PM
BalugaJoe    [TotalFark]  
They big animals. It is funny watching them take off.

29 Nov 2012 04:39 PM
Maud Dib    [TotalFark]  

simplicimus: Well, if you can't tell the difference between a goose and a swan, you may be starting off with a handicap.


Best observation is done at close range.

i865.photobucket.comView Full Size


Yep, that's a goose.

29 Nov 2012 04:41 PM
5monkeys     
I was attacked by a swan once. It was horrible, and traumatic. Out if water and in attack mode they are the size of a VW bug. Or so it seemed.

29 Nov 2012 04:42 PM
Freudian_slipknot     
Des Plaines is not Chicago.

29 Nov 2012 04:43 PM
occamswrist     

simplicimus: Dinobot: That's the chicago way

They bring a kayak, you bring a swan.


They bring a swan, you bring a honey badger.

29 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
Phony_Soldier     
Chicago is known for hotdogs and murder. I wonder if one is related to the other.

29 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
Ikam     

Phony_Soldier: Chicago is known for hotdogs and murder. I wonder if one is related to the other.


Only if we catch you putting ketchup on your hotdog.

29 Nov 2012 04:46 PM
OOF     
Michael Gira may be a person of interest.

29 Nov 2012 04:46 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

Ikam: Phony_Soldier: Chicago is known for hotdogs and murder. I wonder if one is related to the other.

Only if we catch you putting ketchup on your hotdog.


You haven't caught me yet...

29 Nov 2012 04:48 PM
mllawso     

snowshovel: To be fair, I believe that the murder rate was going down...until the handgun ban was declared unconstitutional, at which point gun murders have started to go up. There's probably a reason why fox news doesn't use Chicago as a comparison / contrast when gun rules change.


So ... how many of those murders were committed with legally owned handguns?

You do realize that even before the ban, it wasn't exactly hard to drive half an hour outside the city to *legally* purchase a handgun, right? And that if you're into that kind of thing, it's easier and cheaper to acquire a stolen handgun.

Correlation != Causation

29 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
bim1154     
Chicago has it's own population control. The rest of the U.S. should take note.

29 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
signaljammer     
Des Plaines is as old as Chicago. It was originally a commuter resort.

29 Nov 2012 04:50 PM
Showing 1-50 of 85 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined