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   Toddler survives freak meat thermometer brain injury. WELL DONE

30 Nov 2012 03:36 AM   |   8535 clicks   |   KMBC Kansas City
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robohobo     
Saw this story earlier tonight on the local news. Farking worthless parents.

/who needs a meat thermometer for enchiladas?

30 Nov 2012 03:37 AM
Notabunny    [TotalFark]  
Sweet! (breads)

30 Nov 2012 03:44 AM
hbk72777     
Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.

30 Nov 2012 03:46 AM
Dhabu     
+1 Subby, well played.

30 Nov 2012 03:46 AM
Ni     
I think a full recovery would be rare.

30 Nov 2012 03:46 AM
sexorcisst     

hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.


You're right. Safety first. Too much at steak.

30 Nov 2012 03:57 AM
Yogimus     

hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.


One day that kid is going to lacerate his colon with toilet tissue.

30 Nov 2012 03:59 AM
drjekel_mrhyde     

robohobo: /who needs a meat thermometer for enchiladas?


i.imgur.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 04:00 AM
Make More Hinjews     
Who wants to join me on the bus? I call dibs on aisle seat as I get up to pee every five minutes or so.

30 Nov 2012 04:03 AM
kazikian     
So your kid gets impaled and you assume all's cool?

30 Nov 2012 04:06 AM
puffy999     

hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.


A 5-year-old can handle scissors in general.

A 1.5 year old can't handle shiat.

30 Nov 2012 04:07 AM
AbbeySomeone     

drjekel_mrhyde: robohobo: /who needs a meat thermometer for enchiladas?

[i.imgur.com image 294x294]


Well done.

hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.


Your nephew sounds slow and unadventurous.

30 Nov 2012 04:07 AM
AbbeySomeone     

kazikian: So your kid gets impaled and you assume all's cool?


He's obviously a responsible parent and has good insurance, what's to worry about?

30 Nov 2012 04:10 AM
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo     

hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.


A modest proposal.

30 Nov 2012 04:15 AM
Hetfield     

kazikian: So your kid gets impaled and you assume all's cool?


Why just assume your kid is cool when you could simply read the thermometer and know for sure?

30 Nov 2012 04:22 AM
dickfreckle     

AbbeySomeone: Your nephew sounds slow and unadventurous.


It doesn't matter how vigilant you are - kids will almost always find a way to get ahold of sh*t. My buddy and I were cooking dinner in prep for a game recently, and his annoying but apparently smart crotchfruit managed to get ahold of a butter knife that I'd left in the sink.

The sink. You know, taller than he even without factoring the reaching-in part. And then...

I caught this little dork nanoseconds before he was about to stick it in an electrical socket. I'd always heard of kids doing this, but thought of it more as an urban legend than something kids actually do. I mean of all the objects in the house to fark with, this little bastard went straight for the wall outlet. I picked him up and yelled at him before handing him over to his dad, who had been, erm, occupied in the bathroom at the time.

This is among the reasons I don't dig children. Don't hate them, but I really, really don't want one of those creatures crawling around my place for longer than an afternoon. And even then, look what almost happened.

/still have no idea how he got the knife out of the sink...kind of impressed actually

30 Nov 2012 04:38 AM
Enemabag Jones     
I wonder how many health care workers looked at the gauge on the way out of morbid curiosity?

/I want to believe there was at least one sick joke done in private or under someone's breath.

30 Nov 2012 04:38 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Getting impaled with a meat thermometer is really bad. It's a good thing this kid went to the doctor and was able to have it removed safely. Just a little difference could have been the difference between life and death.

30 Nov 2012 04:38 AM
turbocucumber    [TotalFark]  
Surgeon Dr. Koji Ebersole said it was a one-in-a-million case.

But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

30 Nov 2012 05:01 AM
Mister Toast     
Subby,

lh3.ggpht.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 05:02 AM
sexorcisst     

turbocucumber: Surgeon Dr. Koji Ebersole said it was a one-in-a-million case.

But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

 

raggedshirts.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 05:09 AM
Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

dickfreckle: AbbeySomeone: Your nephew sounds slow and unadventurous.

It doesn't matter how vigilant you are - kids will almost always find a way to get ahold of sh*t. My buddy and I were cooking dinner in prep for a game recently, and his annoying but apparently smart crotchfruit managed to get ahold of a butter knife that I'd left in the sink.

The sink. You know, taller than he even without factoring the reaching-in part. And then...

I caught this little dork nanoseconds before he was about to stick it in an electrical socket. I'd always heard of kids doing this, but thought of it more as an urban legend than something kids actually do. I mean of all the objects in the house to fark with, this little bastard went straight for the wall outlet. I picked him up and yelled at him before handing him over to his dad, who had been, erm, occupied in the bathroom at the time.

This is among the reasons I don't dig children. Don't hate them, but I really, really don't want one of those creatures crawling around my place for longer than an afternoon. And even then, look what almost happened.

/still have no idea how he got the knife out of the sink...kind of impressed actually


www.extension.orgView Full Size


I had these in place on all the electrical outlets, plus the child proof latches on all the drawers and cupboards. My son was a curious lad when he was a toddler and since I was also caring for my bedridden grandma too, it was difficult to keep a close eye on him sometimes.

30 Nov 2012 05:21 AM
meatofmystery     

AverageAmericanGuy: Getting impaled with a meat thermometer is really bad. It's a good thing this kid went to the doctor and was able to have it removed safely. Just a little difference could have been the difference between life and death.


subtle. i like it.

30 Nov 2012 05:29 AM
John_David_Stutts     

puffy999: hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.

A 5-year-old can handle scissors in general.

A 1.5 year old can't handle shiat.


Yeah they can. Just let them shove a hand down their diaper and you'll see.

30 Nov 2012 05:30 AM
Ow My Balls     
>>freak meat thermometer brain injury
Doesn't that sound like the title of one of Frank Zappa's albums?

30 Nov 2012 05:37 AM
illannoyin     

Ow My Balls: >>freak meat thermometer brain injury
Doesn't that sound like the title of one of Frank Zappa's albums?


Well said!

Also, 'freak meat' was my nickname in high school after they other guys saw me in the showers.

/No, I will not post pics

30 Nov 2012 05:41 AM
Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman     

AverageAmericanGuy: Getting impaled with a meat thermometer is really bad. It's a good thing this kid went to the doctor and was able to have it removed safely. Just a little difference could have been the difference between life and death.


Actually the article said the kid took it out himself. They didn't go to the doctor for a while

30 Nov 2012 05:45 AM
Militant Agnostic     
bluntobject.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 05:45 AM
RealFarknMcCoy2     

AverageAmericanGuy: Getting impaled with a meat thermometer is really bad. It's a good thing this kid went to the doctor and was able to have it removed safely. Just a little difference could have been the difference between life and death.


FTFA: Christian Hernandez Jr. was holding the thermometer in late July when he fell. It went into his skull just below his eye and he pulled the device out himself.

30 Nov 2012 05:50 AM
dickfreckle     

Mister Toast: Subby,

[lh3.ggpht.com image 484x380]


www.themeparkreview.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 05:59 AM
stratagos     

John_David_Stutts: puffy999: hbk72777: Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard.

A 5-year-old can handle scissors in general.

A 1.5 year old can't handle shiat.

Yeah they can. Just let them shove a hand down their diaper and you'll see.


And thank you for that trip down memory lane while I'm eating breakfast

30 Nov 2012 06:08 AM
dickfreckle     

Bathia_Mapes: I had these in place on all the electrical outlets...


I just, I just really didn't know that kids actually did that. It seemed so cliche as to be impossible, or at least not in the 45 second span it took me to stoke the grill (that's code for masturbating, ya'll - nah I'm kidding). Seriously, I step back inside and it looked exactly like the famous pic, but in color:

img.ffffound.comView Full Size


There was a slo-mo, deep-voiced NOOOOOOOOOOOOO and I was lucky to get him in time. Farking scared the hell out of me.

30 Nov 2012 06:11 AM
AbbeySomeone     

dickfreckle: Bathia_Mapes: I had these in place on all the electrical outlets...

I just, I just really didn't know that kids actually did that. It seemed so cliche as to be impossible, or at least not in the 45 second span it took me to stoke the grill (that's code for masturbating, ya'll - nah I'm kidding). Seriously, I step back inside and it looked exactly like the famous pic, but in color:

[img.ffffound.com image 360x310]

There was a slo-mo, deep-voiced NOOOOOOOOOOOOO and I was lucky to get him in time. Farking scared the hell out of me.


You didn't want to tell his parents that you let that happen?
They're small and they're scary. My neighbors have their 2 1/2 yr old grandkid. Little bastard is fearless.

30 Nov 2012 06:17 AM
FarkerSnow     
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 06:43 AM
dickfreckle     

AbbeySomeone: You didn't want to tell his parents that you let that happen?


Thing is, I honestly thought nothing could go wrong in literally less than a minute in my own enclosed home, not a city park. But this is also why I am not father material. Marriage, sure, but not crotchfruit. How do you people do it? How do you keep your eyes on these little demons every single second of the day? I can't even keep my dog from messing around with the garbage can, let alone kids finding new and inventive ways of injuring themselves with a lamp or a even a pen sitting on my desk.

30 Nov 2012 06:51 AM
AbbeySomeone     

dickfreckle: AbbeySomeone: You didn't want to tell his parents that you let that happen?

Thing is, I honestly thought nothing could go wrong in literally less than a minute in my own enclosed home, not a city park. But this is also why I am not father material. Marriage, sure, but not crotchfruit. How do you people do it? How do you keep your eyes on these little demons every single second of the day? I can't even keep my dog from messing around with the garbage can, let alone kids finding new and inventive ways of injuring themselves with a lamp or a even a pen sitting on my desk.


If you ever had the idea that staying at home to raise your kids isn't a challenge that may have changed it for you.

30 Nov 2012 07:02 AM
KrispyKritter     
dammit this thread brings back nothing but bad memories for Lenna Luna being as how that's the way she lost her first boy with her third husband. yup, lil Pudd just got into everything and one day Lenna Luna is shopping Winn Dixie for a NASCAR party that night. She was fixing to make up her chili bean n meat n Velveeta surprise right there in the football shaped slow cooker, it's always a big hit, and sure enough lil Pudd reached right into the meat case and bam nice as you please just stick a meat thermometer right on into his ear as if god intended it to be that way. Lenna Luna saw the blood shooting out the boy like a fire hydrant, fell back passed out cold cracked her head open lickety split. lawsuit city. that's how we wound up with the double-wide, that sweet arse chariot 250 4X4 and a 8500.00/month annuity for life. sweeet! poor Pudd, he just kinda wriggles around on the floor, they said he never will be right. in good weather we just let him play in the compost pile all day and wash him off with a hose before dinner. it's all good.

30 Nov 2012 07:03 AM
BizarreMan    [TotalFark]  
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

30 Nov 2012 07:14 AM
thewendyjx     
hbk72777 stated "Who the fark let's a kid get a hold of this? I have a nephew that lives with me, almost 5, and he's never gotten a hold of scissors, knives or any other sharp object. Keep the shiat out of drawers they can reach, and if you're working with it, move it to the back of the counter. It's not hard"

i couldn't have said it better myself. i understand and can admit kids scamper about and find stuff yet know scissors, knives and such are to be put our of reach as well taught not to touch.

.

30 Nov 2012 07:24 AM
Summer Glau's Love Slave     
I know what a thermometer is, but what's "freak meat?"

/Is it a gay thing?
//It must be hot if it needs a thermometer.

30 Nov 2012 07:37 AM
dickfreckle     

AbbeySomeone: If you ever had the idea that staying at home to raise your kids isn't a challenge that may have changed it for you.


I have never, ever denigrated a stay-at-home mom as not having a "real job." And I never will. After the trauma my poor mother went through raising a rambunctious little asshole like I was (probably still am), I couldn't possibly think more highly of moms (or dads).

You all should change your job title to "special education specialist," because I swear, all children are retarded and impossible to deal with. They require a skill set I simply don't have. Nor do I want to learn it.

/condoms, for the love of god wear condoms guys

30 Nov 2012 07:40 AM
cynicalbastard     

dickfreckle: AbbeySomeone: You didn't want to tell his parents that you let that happen?

Thing is, I honestly thought nothing could go wrong in literally less than a minute in my own enclosed home, not a city park. But this is also why I am not father material. Marriage, sure, but not crotchfruit. How do you people do it? How do you keep your eyes on these little demons every single second of the day? I can't even keep my dog from messing around with the garbage can, let alone kids finding new and inventive ways of injuring themselves with a lamp or a even a pen sitting on my desk.


I think they get kinda philosophical about it- there's nothing you can do to prevent a kid from hurting himself if he is really determined, and 9 times out of ten the human body is pretty good at healing itself and for the tenth most of the time it's just stitches and let's hope the little bugger learned something.

30 Nov 2012 08:16 AM
DGS    [TotalFark]  
Ok, subby, I laughed.

30 Nov 2012 08:24 AM
Tanthalas39     

dickfreckle: AbbeySomeone: Your nephew sounds slow and unadventurous.

It doesn't matter how vigilant you are - kids will almost always find a way to get ahold of sh*t. My buddy and I were cooking dinner in prep for a game recently, and his annoying but apparently smart crotchfruit managed to get ahold of a butter knife that I'd left in the sink.

The sink. You know, taller than he even without factoring the reaching-in part. And then...

I caught this little dork nanoseconds before he was about to stick it in an electrical socket. I'd always heard of kids doing this, but thought of it more as an urban legend than something kids actually do. I mean of all the objects in the house to fark with, this little bastard went straight for the wall outlet. I picked him up and yelled at him before handing him over to his dad, who had been, erm, occupied in the bathroom at the time.

This is among the reasons I don't dig children. Don't hate them, but I really, really don't want one of those creatures crawling around my place for longer than an afternoon. And even then, look what almost happened.

/still have no idea how he got the knife out of the sink...kind of impressed actually


Was his dad fapping?

30 Nov 2012 08:40 AM
Alonjar     

dickfreckle: AbbeySomeone: You didn't want to tell his parents that you let that happen?

Thing is, I honestly thought nothing could go wrong in literally less than a minute in my own enclosed home, not a city park. But this is also why I am not father material. Marriage, sure, but not crotchfruit. How do you people do it? How do you keep your eyes on these little demons every single second of the day? I can't even keep my dog from messing around with the garbage can, let alone kids finding new and inventive ways of injuring themselves with a lamp or a even a pen sitting on my desk.


Its called baby-proofing. When you have a small child, you just arrange your house in such a way as to prevent them from having access to things that can hurt them. Safety plugs in outlets, safety latches on cabinets/drawers, child-proof mechanism on the doors (prevents kids from turning the knob). Its really not bad, and as a side effect you tend to be a lot more organized and clean in general. It IS literally impossible to watch the little bastards every minute of the day... and I work from home, so I constantly have to juggle kid vs work.... so I just create an environment where its safe for him to roam around doing whatever the hell he pleases, even if it means gating him inside a specific room or floor or whatever.

Id be willing to bet the parents in the article just didnt see the danger in a giant meat impaling spike for whatever reason vs the kid doing it when no one was looking.

30 Nov 2012 08:44 AM
UncleStumpy     

Enemabag Jones: I wonder how many health care workers looked at the gauge on the way out of morbid curiosity?

/I want to believe there was at least one sick joke done in private or under someone's breath.


as a health care worker, it would be a miracle if there wasn't a joke done.

/i'd probably be making it

30 Nov 2012 08:51 AM
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros     
The worst part is that the father doesn't have insurance. He's a temp.

30 Nov 2012 08:58 AM
Katolu     

Alonjar: dickfreckle: AbbeySomeone: You didn't want to tell his parents that you let that happen?

Thing is, I honestly thought nothing could go wrong in literally less than a minute in my own enclosed home, not a city park. But this is also why I am not father material. Marriage, sure, but not crotchfruit. How do you people do it? How do you keep your eyes on these little demons every single second of the day? I can't even keep my dog from messing around with the garbage can, let alone kids finding new and inventive ways of injuring themselves with a lamp or a even a pen sitting on my desk.

Its called baby-proofing. When you have a small child, you just arrange your house in such a way as to prevent them from having access to things that can hurt them. Safety plugs in outlets, safety latches on cabinets/drawers, child-proof mechanism on the doors (prevents kids from turning the knob). Its really not bad, and as a side effect you tend to be a lot more organized and clean in general. It IS literally impossible to watch the little bastards every minute of the day... and I work from home, so I constantly have to juggle kid vs work.... so I just create an environment where its safe for him to roam around doing whatever the hell he pleases, even if it means gating him inside a specific room or floor or whatever.

Id be willing to bet the parents in the article just didnt see the danger in a giant meat impaling spike for whatever reason vs the kid doing it when no one was looking.


It's called natural selection. If they manage to make to adulthood, they passed the first set of selection tests.

30 Nov 2012 08:59 AM
dickfreckle     

Alonjar: Its called baby-proofing. When you have a small child, you just arrange your house in such a way as to prevent them from having access to things that can hurt them. Safety plugs in outlets, safety latches on cabinets/drawers, child-proof mechanism on the doors


Yeah, I understand this.

Still not having crotchfruit. Ever.

It goes far beyond the baby-proofing. I just don't have any natural instincts beyond protecting my girlfriend or my regular friends. Sometimes random people on the street. A guy can retain his protective nature and just apply it to his community or other immediate environment, which is far easier than trying to figure out the chemical element sign of the disaster that's in that diaper over there. I don't think even Google has a proper answer.

I'm now 38 years old and all of my friends keep 'joking' that I'll die alone, with no legacy. Get that girl pregnant! You deserve the joy of having a family!

Eh, no.

And I'm down with this.

30 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
Raptop     
lol subby!

30 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
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