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   Man walks into police station at 4:30am, tells dispatcher he has no license, was driving a stolen vehicle and is drunk. Well, that's convenient

30 Nov 2012 05:07 AM   |   3226 clicks   |   WGAL 8
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RedPhoenix122    [TotalFark]  
Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.

30 Nov 2012 03:20 AM
log_jammin     
I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

30 Nov 2012 03:25 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
For his sake, I hope they didn't take his blood alcohol reading.

30 Nov 2012 05:16 AM
sexorcisst     
Then he pepper sprayed and bribed himself.

30 Nov 2012 05:19 AM
Happy Hours     

RedPhoenix122: Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.


www.salem-news.comView Full Size


There has to be a little more to this story - a cry for help perhaps?

30 Nov 2012 05:23 AM
Annoyance     
Was running a red light and SPEEDING also admitted to?

30 Nov 2012 05:29 AM
Summoner101     

log_jammin: I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.


There's one thing you can't slag America for, we specialize in convenience!

/Though Japan may have us beat

30 Nov 2012 05:29 AM
signaljammer     
I just reread "The Secret Pilgrim" because I found it for ten bits at a resale shop my friend dragged me through. The latter half has a meditation on the nature of confession that sorta cut me to the quick. After the confession, during which the confessor renounces his actions, he is kinda spent and then renounces himself in a way, past the emotions that led him to confess.

30 Nov 2012 05:34 AM
illannoyin     
That's some fine police work there citizen Lou!

/Oblig

30 Nov 2012 05:37 AM
Mr. Ekshun     
If only we could get politicians to be that honest...

/Duck and cover

30 Nov 2012 05:45 AM
Omahawg     
it's such a small world

/drunk, has license, in living room

30 Nov 2012 05:50 AM
LDM90     
Police brutality! Why do they have to be so vicious?

/oblig

30 Nov 2012 05:53 AM
Farabor     
Could be the inevitable State Run Hotel syndrome that occurs most winters?

30 Nov 2012 06:02 AM
magic_patch     
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was America!

30 Nov 2012 06:12 AM
Dog Welder     
Well, I guess we can close the books on that one!

30 Nov 2012 06:25 AM
KrispyKritter     
there goes my weekend plans. now i'm going to have to turn myself in to State Police barracks whacked on bath salts, point out I don't own the flaming Cessna in the parking lot.

30 Nov 2012 06:32 AM
aagrajag     

Summoner101: log_jammin: I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

There's one thing you can't slag America for, we specialize in convenience!

/Though Japan may have us beat


I'm drinking a beer I bought from a vending machine right now, so I'm getting a kick...etc.

30 Nov 2012 06:35 AM
mutterfark    [TotalFark]  

Happy Hours: RedPhoenix122: Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.

[www.salem-news.com image 350x204]

There has to be a little more to this story - a cry for help perhaps?


Think you could do better? Punk.

30 Nov 2012 06:54 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


RIP Julie Delpy

30 Nov 2012 07:02 AM
Summoner101     

aagrajag: Summoner101: log_jammin: I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

There's one thing you can't slag America for, we specialize in convenience!

/Though Japan may have us beat

I'm drinking a beer I bought from a vending machine right now, so I'm getting a kick...etc.


And I'm sniffing the preworn panties while looking at tentacle porn

/So lonely...

30 Nov 2012 07:03 AM
Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size

Son, I am disappoint.

30 Nov 2012 07:17 AM
kid_icarus     
Maybe he's a compulsive liar. Can he actually prove any of these allegations he's making against himself?

30 Nov 2012 07:19 AM
LarryDan43     
Isn't that how you apply for an obamaphone?

30 Nov 2012 07:35 AM
HindiDiscoMonster    [TotalFark]  
Was this him? 
deepwatersblog.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 08:15 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
haha the story is funny cause he was DRUNK! drinking is so fun because it's legal

30 Nov 2012 08:20 AM
Englebert Slaptyback     

Man walks into police station at 4:30am, tells dispatcher he has no license, was driving a stolen vehicle and is drunk.


And the bartender says "Is this a joke?".

30 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
Somebody Else     
He should have had someone else drive him there....oh, wait.
meh

30 Nov 2012 08:30 AM
fluffy2097     
Nice of him to admit he has a problem that he couldn't control.

Maybe he can get sobered up and on some sort of program in jail, where he is unable to be tempted by booze.

30 Nov 2012 08:46 AM
Zeb Hesselgresser     

Happy Hours: RedPhoenix122: Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.

[www.salem-news.com image 350x204]

There has to be a little more to this story - a cry for help perhaps?


Yep, maybe. He's homeless, the PA weather's turning bitter; 3 hots and a cot in county beats
a van down by the river.

30 Nov 2012 08:48 AM
occamswrist     
If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

30 Nov 2012 08:55 AM
Happy Hours     

Zeb Hesselgresser: Yep, maybe. He's homeless, the PA weather's turning bitter; 3 hots and a cot in county beats
a van down by the river.


My memory is bad, but that reminds me of a short story (possibly by James Thurber)......I'm not even sure I'm remembering it right, but if I am a guy who was down on his luck was going to throw a rock through a window so he could get arrested and have a place to spend the night but then he passed by a church and had a change of heart....and then he got arrested for loitering.

30 Nov 2012 09:03 AM
Happy Hours     

occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.


Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

30 Nov 2012 09:12 AM
boarch     

Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.


What are you communist?

30 Nov 2012 09:23 AM
Happy Hours     

boarch: What are you communist?


Apparently - they say a conservative is just a liberal who has been mugged but IRL I've been mugged and while I still stand by many so-called conservative values I think we can at least give homeless people a bed to sleep in and a bowl of gruel to eat. I'm not saying we should put them up in luxury apartments, but I don't want to have to trip over them on the sidewalk either.

And I'm not against putting conditions on this type of welfare - you want 3 hots and a cot and don't want to have to commit a crime to get them? Okay, fine, but you don't get to drink either. Sorry. Your choice though.

30 Nov 2012 09:35 AM
BubbaJones    [TotalFark]  

boarch: Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?


As you can see, while there are ample means in this country to provide for these folks, there is little empathy.

30 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
boarch     

BubbaJones: boarch: Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?

As you can see, while there are ample means in this country to provide for these folks, there is little empathy.


You're not one of those types who gives a bum a dollar and feels good about it later, are you? If you had any empathy you'd at least give him a dollar and 6 cents so he can afford the sales tax on his King Cobra

30 Nov 2012 09:59 AM
Apos     
Surrendering to police should be done with more flourish:

unrealitymag.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 10:00 AM
occamswrist     

BubbaJones: boarch: Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?

As you can see, while there are ample means in this country to provide for these folks, there is little empathy.


That's noble of you to suggest the government take more money out of my pocket that I would otherwise spend on my children so that they can pay for the guys housing.

30 Nov 2012 10:06 AM
genner     
globalmoxie.comView Full Size

30 Nov 2012 10:10 AM
doczoidberg     
When I'm drunk and driving a stolen car, I generally DON'T tell the cops.

It's sort of like a rule of thumb for me.

30 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
According to a motorist who followed the man closely as he zigzagged down the street for 45 minutes, he repeatedly reminded himself "DON'T walk into the police station at 4:30 A.M. and tell the damned desk sargeant that I don't have a licence, stole this convertible car, and am drunk as a skink, hic, skunk."

At 4:25, he dropped the "DON'T" and was shortly thereafter seen to park on the meridian in front of the police station.

30 Nov 2012 10:39 AM
rovingardener     
The Aristocrats.

30 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
nytmare     
All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

30 Nov 2012 10:50 PM
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