Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.

I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

For his sake, I hope they didn't take his blood alcohol reading.

Then he pepper sprayed and bribed himself.

RedPhoenix122: Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.



There has to be a little more to this story - a cry for help perhaps?

Was running a red light and SPEEDING also admitted to?

log_jammin: I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

There's one thing you can't slag America for, we specialize in convenience!

/Though Japan may have us beat

I just reread "The Secret Pilgrim" because I found it for ten bits at a resale shop my friend dragged me through. The latter half has a meditation on the nature of confession that sorta cut me to the quick. After the confession, during which the confessor renounces his actions, he is kinda spent and then renounces himself in a way, past the emotions that led him to confess.

That's some fine police work there citizen Lou!

/Oblig

If only we could get politicians to be that honest...

/Duck and cover

it's such a small world

/drunk, has license, in living room

Police brutality! Why do they have to be so vicious?

/oblig

Could be the inevitable State Run Hotel syndrome that occurs most winters?

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was America!

Well, I guess we can close the books on that one!

there goes my weekend plans. now i'm going to have to turn myself in to State Police barracks whacked on bath salts, point out I don't own the flaming Cessna in the parking lot.

Summoner101: log_jammin: I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

There's one thing you can't slag America for, we specialize in convenience!

/Though Japan may have us beat

I'm drinking a beer I bought from a vending machine right now, so I'm getting a kick...etc.

Happy Hours: RedPhoenix122: Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.

[www.salem-news.com image 350x204]

There has to be a little more to this story - a cry for help perhaps?

Think you could do better? Punk.

RIP Julie Delpy

aagrajag: Summoner101: log_jammin: I was going to read the article, then I realized the headline was the article.

There's one thing you can't slag America for, we specialize in convenience!

/Though Japan may have us beat

I'm drinking a beer I bought from a vending machine right now, so I'm getting a kick...etc.

And I'm sniffing the preworn panties while looking at tentacle porn

/So lonely...

Son, I am disappoint.

Maybe he's a compulsive liar. Can he actually prove any of these allegations he's making against himself?

Isn't that how you apply for an obamaphone?

Was this him? 

haha the story is funny cause he was DRUNK! drinking is so fun because it's legal

Man walks into police station at 4:30am, tells dispatcher he has no license, was driving a stolen vehicle and is drunk.


And the bartender says "Is this a joke?".

He should have had someone else drive him there....oh, wait.
meh

Nice of him to admit he has a problem that he couldn't control.

Maybe he can get sobered up and on some sort of program in jail, where he is unable to be tempted by booze.

Happy Hours: RedPhoenix122: Only in America are the cops so fat they have to send out for delivery.

[www.salem-news.com image 350x204]

There has to be a little more to this story - a cry for help perhaps?

Yep, maybe. He's homeless, the PA weather's turning bitter; 3 hots and a cot in county beats
a van down by the river.

If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Zeb Hesselgresser: Yep, maybe. He's homeless, the PA weather's turning bitter; 3 hots and a cot in county beats
a van down by the river.

My memory is bad, but that reminds me of a short story (possibly by James Thurber)......I'm not even sure I'm remembering it right, but if I am a guy who was down on his luck was going to throw a rock through a window so he could get arrested and have a place to spend the night but then he passed by a church and had a change of heart....and then he got arrested for loitering.

occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?

boarch: What are you communist?

Apparently - they say a conservative is just a liberal who has been mugged but IRL I've been mugged and while I still stand by many so-called conservative values I think we can at least give homeless people a bed to sleep in and a bowl of gruel to eat. I'm not saying we should put them up in luxury apartments, but I don't want to have to trip over them on the sidewalk either.

And I'm not against putting conditions on this type of welfare - you want 3 hots and a cot and don't want to have to commit a crime to get them? Okay, fine, but you don't get to drink either. Sorry. Your choice though.

boarch: Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?

As you can see, while there are ample means in this country to provide for these folks, there is little empathy.

BubbaJones: boarch: Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?

As you can see, while there are ample means in this country to provide for these folks, there is little empathy.

You're not one of those types who gives a bum a dollar and feels good about it later, are you? If you had any empathy you'd at least give him a dollar and 6 cents so he can afford the sales tax on his King Cobra

Surrendering to police should be done with more flourish:

BubbaJones: boarch: Happy Hours: occamswrist: If all he wanted to do was spend sine time in jail during the winter he should have committed a crime he could have bragged about like talking a dump on a cop car.

Yeah, I'm sure the cops would be sympathetic towards that. Maybe homeless people should go where the climate suits their clothes a little better. If I were homeless I would not choose to live in PA or CO or any place that has freezing weather.

I'm thinking Southern California...probably lots of competition for the panhandler dollars, but at least I wouldn't freeze to death.

That said, I'll repeat my response in another thread - there's no reason anyone in the US should have to sleep on the street or go hungry. We can give them cheap housing and feed them. No luxury, but give them a place besides the street to sleep and don't let them starve.

What are you communist?

As you can see, while there are ample means in this country to provide for these folks, there is little empathy.

That's noble of you to suggest the government take more money out of my pocket that I would otherwise spend on my children so that they can pay for the guys housing.

When I'm drunk and driving a stolen car, I generally DON'T tell the cops.

It's sort of like a rule of thumb for me.

According to a motorist who followed the man closely as he zigzagged down the street for 45 minutes, he repeatedly reminded himself "DON'T walk into the police station at 4:30 A.M. and tell the damned desk sargeant that I don't have a licence, stole this convertible car, and am drunk as a skink, hic, skunk."

At 4:25, he dropped the "DON'T" and was shortly thereafter seen to park on the meridian in front of the police station.

The Aristocrats.

All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.