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   Alert five-year-old saves family from house fire: "I felt something and at school they told us what to do if your butt is ever on fire"

30 Nov 2012 11:01 AM   |   6547 clicks   |   Poughkeepsie Journal
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ArkAngel    [TotalFark]  
Switch to mild wings?

30 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
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Tr0mBoNe    [TotalFark]  
img201.imageshack.us

You hold on to it?

30 Nov 2012 09:44 AM
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give me doughnuts     
Tell Daddy to use lube?

30 Nov 2012 09:44 AM
Reply
DammitIForgotMyLogin    [TotalFark]  
Stop lying?

30 Nov 2012 09:53 AM
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FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
Quit visiting Elmo

OR

Stop eating at Taco Bell?

30 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
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BronyMedic     
Either see a proctologist for them piles, or get a shot and have a difficult talk with your sexual partner/s?

Someone give this kid a fire helmet. He's earned it.

/the traditional leather one, not that cheap plastic Bullard crap.

30 Nov 2012 10:41 AM
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lennavan    [TotalFark]  
You realize, just because you think Frank's sauce is delicious your bowels just can't handle it?

30 Nov 2012 11:02 AM
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cgraves67     
Run around screaming and flailing your arms like a maniacal windmill thus alerting your family to the danger?

30 Nov 2012 11:04 AM
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pute kisses like a man     
the only way to put out a butt fire is with gasoline. the flare up will suck all the oxygen away from the fire, effectively extinguishing it

30 Nov 2012 11:05 AM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  

cgraves67: Run around screaming and flailing your arms like a maniacal windmill thus alerting your family to the danger?


FIRE! FIRE!

30 Nov 2012 11:07 AM
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flaminio     
Wanted for questioning:

buffetoblog.files.wordpress.com

30 Nov 2012 11:09 AM
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gerbilpox     
v006o.popscreen.com

Available for comment.

30 Nov 2012 11:10 AM
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DaCaptain19     
Should be "spiffy" tag. Kid was calm, smart, and remembered what to do...call dad and mom. Smart kid, not a hero.

30 Nov 2012 11:10 AM
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DaCaptain19     
...and just where the hell is Chipotle-away?

30 Nov 2012 11:11 AM
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Bit'O'Gristle     

give me doughnuts: Tell Daddy to use lube?


/damn you..you magnificent bastid...
// +3 internets for you

30 Nov 2012 11:11 AM
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Nana's Vibrator    [TotalFark]  
On the whole, Preparation H feels pretty good.

30 Nov 2012 11:12 AM
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uncleacid     
I saved my parents from a fire and all I got was this stupid hat.

30 Nov 2012 11:16 AM
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L'mours     

FirstNationalBastard: Quit visiting Elmo

OR

Stop eating at Taco Bell?


Heh. terrible

30 Nov 2012 11:20 AM
Reply
Iceman_Cometh     

FirstNationalBastard: Quit visiting Elmo

OR

Stop eating at Taco Bell?


Run out of the Penn State locker room?

30 Nov 2012 11:21 AM
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shazbotuh     

Tr0mBoNe: [img201.imageshack.us image 800x476]

You hold on to it?


And this thread is done.

30 Nov 2012 11:21 AM
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FatherChaos     
Greg Hansen wanted to see what was causing the fire. It turned out to be cupcakes the father and son had made for the class birthday party that would be celebrated later that day.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net

You win this round, evil delectable treat!

30 Nov 2012 11:23 AM
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BolshyGreatYarblocks     
Can you even get habanero sauce in Beacon, NY?

30 Nov 2012 11:23 AM
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big pig peaches     
If only there was some device one could install in one's home that could detect smoke and sound an alarm.

30 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
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Marginally Dissatisfied Mike     

big pig peaches: If only there was some device one could install in one's home that could detect smoke and sound an alarm.


If only you'd read the article. The real failure is that they probably didn't test the detector they had. Or, perhaps, they didn't have one on the lower level of the house, like they should have.

30 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
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SuperT     

big pig peaches: If only there was some device one could install in one's home that could detect smoke and sound an alarm.


you know how I can tell you didn't read the article?

30 Nov 2012 11:49 AM
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CygnusDarius     
Greg Hansen wanted to see what was causing the fire. It turned out to be cupcakes the father and son had made for the class birthday party that would be celebrated later that day.

See? Anything with frosting cannot be trusted. Ever. This is why muffins and pie are to be trusted. They are your friends, your tasty friends.

30 Nov 2012 11:54 AM
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oldfarthenry    [TotalFark]  
i1151.photobucket.com
So, kid - do I tuck & roll?
Tell me quick - these are my best britches!

30 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
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baronvonzipper     

give me doughnuts: Tell Daddy to use lube?


...

30 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
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gmpilot     
God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

30 Nov 2012 12:57 PM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Can you even get habanero sauce in Beacon, NY?


me thinks you've not visited the Culinary Institute of America in (nearby) New Hyde Park, NY

/a huge area is blessed with the highly skilled and their restaurants & treat shoppes

30 Nov 2012 01:09 PM
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Gaseous Anomaly     

gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.


Perhaps, to balance out the effect this child had, you should DIAF.

30 Nov 2012 01:10 PM
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buckler     

gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.


You're right. They should have a lot of babies, and sell them as fire detectors (cage and training not included).

30 Nov 2012 01:17 PM
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ProfessorOhki     

gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.


If they didn't have the child, the father wouldn't have been baking cupcakes with him. Not only would everyone be alright, their kitchen would be intact.

/Unless His plan was to renovate their kitchen.
//Mysterious ways and all that

30 Nov 2012 01:27 PM
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Mega Steve     
If only he'd been born a few decades earlier... 

www.myssnews.com

Stop, drop, and roll, Dick, roll!

/Could not find the video
//God, I'm old

30 Nov 2012 02:17 PM
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ltdanman44     

gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.


betanews.com

nice try

30 Nov 2012 02:18 PM
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gmpilot     

Gaseous Anomaly: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

Perhaps, to balance out the effect this child had, you should DIAF.


buckler: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

You're right. They should have a lot of babies, and sell them as fire detectors (cage and training not included).


ProfessorOhki: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

If they didn't have the child, the father wouldn't have been baking cupcakes with him. Not only would everyone be alright, their kitchen would be intact.

/Unless His plan was to renovate their kitchen.
//Mysterious ways and all that


I believe I just won the triple crown.

30 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
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buckler     

gmpilot: Gaseous Anomaly: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

Perhaps, to balance out the effect this child had, you should DIAF.

buckler: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

You're right. They should have a lot of babies, and sell them as fire detectors (cage and training not included).

ProfessorOhki: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

If they didn't have the child, the father wouldn't have been baking cupcakes with him. Not only would everyone be alright, their kitchen would be intact.

/Unless His plan was to renovate their kitchen.
//Mysterious ways and all that

I believe I just won the triple crown.


Bravo!!

30 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
Reply
Gone In 26 Minutes     

gmpilot: Gaseous Anomaly: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

Perhaps, to balance out the effect this child had, you should DIAF.

buckler: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

You're right. They should have a lot of babies, and sell them as fire detectors (cage and training not included).

ProfessorOhki: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

If they didn't have the child, the father wouldn't have been baking cupcakes with him. Not only would everyone be alright, their kitchen would be intact.

/Unless His plan was to renovate their kitchen.
//Mysterious ways and all that

I believe I just won the triple crown scored a hat trick.


30 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
Reply
Gone In 26 Minutes     
THAT'S not strike-out... Oh well, you get the idea.

30 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
Reply
ProfessorOhki     

gmpilot: ProfessorOhki: gmpilot: God bless this little boy. See, this is why every life is precious and is part of God's plan; abortion is murder.

If they didn't have the child, the father wouldn't have been baking cupcakes with him. Not only would everyone be alright, their kitchen would be intact.

/Unless His plan was to renovate their kitchen.
//Mysterious ways and all that

I believe I just won the triple crown.


Oooh, 6/10. Accusing someone of being trolled by a 0/10 is definitely an improvement over the last attempt. If you were planning the combo from the start, I'll upgrade it to 7/10 because it shows real effort.

30 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
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cyberspacedout     
They probably didn't even stop to get the kid's shoes.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

30 Nov 2012 06:35 PM
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CaptainFatass     
Ah, Poughkeepsie ... do they still have that lactating-tit fountain in the center square?

Interesting that the kid used the "stop, drop and roll" language; "Stop, Drop and Roll" is one of the best songs by Agitpop, the best (and possibly only) band to ever come out of the Poughkeepsie area.

30 Nov 2012 10:50 PM
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Gulper Eel    [TotalFark]  

CaptainFatass: Ah, Poughkeepsie ... do they still have that lactating-tit fountain in the center square?


I'm not sure but I drove by the phallic obelisk thing in front of city hall the other day.

01 Dec 2012 07:12 AM
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