When I stole the school's toilet paper, it was for entirely practical reasons. I decided it was covered under one of the more ambiguous "fee" headings on my itemized tuition bill.

can you spare a square?

He gave a box of TP, but it didn't fit in the rollers, so they had to give it away. Don't you hate gifts like that? I don't blame the guy though. The manufacturer of the TP dispensers probably made their design so that only their proprietary TP rolls would fit in it.

This reminds me of those people who think they will die drunk if they don't track down Polly Prissypants and apologize for calling her a biatch in third grade.

Eastern New Mexico diplomas come in rolls?

Modified wooden toilet roll holder? Wow, just wow...

...but he sent it all in separate sheets...

Must not say it was a crappy thing to do..Must not say it was a crappy thing to do..

He can certainly use the TP for his bunghole.

Stealing the TP isn't really all that bad, now removing several rolls of toilet paper, impregnating them with the oil from poison oak leaves and putting the rolls back would be BAD.

/this is NOT a suggestion

NannyStatePark: This reminds me of those people who think they will die drunk if they don't track down Polly Prissypants and apologize for calling her a biatch in third grade.

as a person who suffered some assholes in my day, I'd rather they don't apologize.

my reasons are varied and somewhat contradictory, but i figure, when you have alternative and contradictory justifications, that just means you're super right. you're right even if you're wrong.

The toilet paper is being donating to a nearby charity because it doesn't fit the school's dispensers.



Ya, well, things have changed since you left.

kdogg73: The toilet paper is being donating to a nearby charity because it doesn't fit the school's dispensers.

[www.whyboysneedparents.com image 417x281]

Ya, well, things have changed since you left.


FARK OPINION POLL: Who is your favorite Toilet Paper Charity?

pute kisses like a man: NannyStatePark: This reminds me of those people who think they will die drunk if they don't track down Polly Prissypants and apologize for calling her a biatch in third grade.

as a person who suffered some assholes in my day, I'd rather they don't apologize.

my reasons are varied and somewhat contradictory, but i figure, when you have alternative and contradictory justifications, that just means you're super right. you're right even if you're wrong.

I was hazed just shy of Carrie in school until I turned 14 and gorgeous, and promptly refused to date anyone I'd gone to middle school with. Those farkers can marinate in their guilt.

cgraves67: He gave a box of TP, but it didn't fit in the rollers, so they had to give it away. Don't you hate gifts like that? I don't blame the guy though. The manufacturer of the TP dispensers probably made their design so that only their proprietary TP rolls would fit in it.

The irony is that the school probably replaced their dispensers with more secure ones that take the proprietary rolls because of thefts like the one described...

The stuff he sent is waaaaaay better than the shiatty TP the state buys for us. You can see through the stuff!

A-hole's conscience wiped clean.

Oh lord - am I supposed to feel guilty now?

I stole a case - a big case of toilet paper when I was a freshman living in university housing.

I think most of it got throw around the neighborhood too.

I did a lot worse shiat than that though, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad about the toilet paper.

FTFA: "...a new dedication to Christian faith led to the deed."

I knew it was something dumb like that... either one of the 12 steps from AA, or the worst case such as sky wizard worship.

Just move on. Don't do it again. I'm glad the person can sleep at night now, but he or she is a putz IMHO.

NannyStatePark: This reminds me of those people who think they will die drunk if they don't track down Polly Prissypants and apologize for calling her a biatch in third grade.

Why chide a good deed, though? That's what we should be encouraging in the GTA(tm) generation..

special20: FTFA: "...a new dedication to Christian faith led to the deed."

I knew it was something dumb like that... either one of the 12 steps from AA, or the worst case such as sky wizard worship.

Just move on. Don't do it again. I'm glad the person can sleep at night now, but he or she is a putz IMHO.

The whole point of the apology shiat in the12-step racket is to get the suckers to feel really bad about themselves. Not only do they have to dredge up every stupid thing they did, they have to go apologize for it even though nobody wants their apologies. So then they feel really bad and they need the sky god to make everything better, except he doesn't. Rinse, repeat.

Hey, but it works if you work it, right?

Years ago at my old job when they were consolidating offices 4 people that purchased supplies for 4 different offices all decided to order toilet paper on the same day. God knows how much showed up but it was a LOT. I eneded up stuffing it in every closet, cabinet and empty cube I could find and I still had a ton. I ended up bringing it home and stuffing it in a closet. I would bring it in when I could find space. By the time I was laid off I still had a lot I just added it to my severance. Took me years to go through it all. I need to find pics of it stuffed in my closet.

being donating.

BEING DONATING

groppet: Years ago at my old job when they were consolidating offices 4 people that purchased supplies for 4 different offices all decided to order toilet paper on the same day. God knows how much showed up but it was a LOT. I eneded up stuffing it in every closet, cabinet and empty cube I could find and I still had a ton. I ended up bringing it home and stuffing it in a closet. I would bring it in when I could find space. By the time I was laid off I still had a lot I just added it to my severance. Took me years to go through it all. I need to find pics of it stuffed in my closet.

It's okay - I can imagine. I usually buy a years worth of toilet paper at a time. I buy the the big package - 24 rolls or something like that. When you only buy toilet paper once a year you forget what brand you like and sometimes that is a drag because I can't remember if it was Charmin or Northern Lights.or Angel Dust. If the toilet paper companies were smart they'd put their logo on the cardboard tube so I could remember what to buy when I ran out.

punkhippie: Hey, but it works if you work it, right?

...are you lookin at me, hippie?

Crap. My alma mater makes the news and it's for this.
Go greyhounds!

Unavailable for comment

dabbletech: Eastern New Mexico diplomas come in rolls?

No. Toilet paper has a known use. A bs from enmu, not so much....

AndreMA: The irony is that the school probably replaced their dispensers with more secure ones that take the proprietary rolls because of thefts like the one described...

So it's OK now to send him the bill.

Friend of mine scooped the water out of a college toilet bowl, pinched a loaf in it, stuck a lit M-80 in that, and closed the door.

Poop. Poop, everywhere.

/felt pretty bad after but not enough to clean it up

WJW?

NannyStatePark: This reminds me of those people who think they will die drunk if they don't track down Polly Prissypants and apologize for calling her a biatch in third grade.

I love your handle and the awful cynicism of your post. You've brightened my morning and made my hangover just a bit more bearable. Thank you.

I think that this is lovely and win all around.