thats the best mugshot ive seen all...day...week...month.

/+1

...and his name is Funk.

Cricket bat to the crotch.

As a mother, I would be so proud inclined to perform extreme late term abortion.

He believed it to be a cunning stunt.

♫♪♫♪ Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking ♫♪♫♪

I can't believe people are against birth control.

At least we know what giftedmadness looks like.

Grand Funk Retard.

Thermal underwear shirt no less.

You can almost hear them banjos a pickin'.

Front line infantry.

Put a shovel in his hands. The world needs ditchdiggers, not douchebags.

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a farking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of farking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fark you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing farking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, farked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got cigarettes and your mom's credit card?

FTA: If convicted of these latest charges, which is Funk's 10th for 2012,

I have a solution, just shoot him in the back of his no good head.

If convicted of these latest charges, which is Funk's 10th for 2012, Funk may face up to 11/2 years in prison and $7,500 in fines, plus imposition of any jail time suspended for violating his probation.

All sorts of fail here. 10 charges just in 2012? I would have thought that at about 8 or so they would stop letting him out on bail. And what the hell is 11/2 years in prison? Is it 1.5 or 5.5?

some_beer_drinker: ...and his name is Funk.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 360x480]

And the cops harassment of the homeless continues on, unabated.

I wonder what him and Michelle Obamas baby would look like.

Posterchild for two things...

Birth Control
Fiber

It appears his interactions with the criminal justice "system" has shown that it's all a big game.

Which may work for Funk until he gets a real prison sentence and Bubba decides he has a pretty mouth.

60 is an "elderly person"?

some_beer_drinker: ...and his name is Funk.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 360x480]
No. His name is Funk


and also this


/got nothing. Especially photoshop skills. Feel free to modify

Evil Mackerel: Front line infantry.

you know, he does kind of look like a space monkey

Hoopy Frood: 60 is an "elderly person"?

Yes.

I'm driving by that store in about an hour....kick, etc...

Dude takes life by the balls.

What a useless waste of skin.

Surely this is an appropriate use of the derogatory term 'Retard'

Still no Ohio tag?

BigRightRear: FTA: If convicted of these latest charges, which is Funk's 10th for 2012,

I have a solution, just shoot him in the back of his no good head.

Agreed. This is exactly the kind of person responsible for "why we can't have nice things" in our society. Capital punishment needs to be meted out on a case-by-case basis. This is one of those times where even though it is a long string of petty crimes, the sum of his history equals a whole lot of trouble. Absolutely no remorse on his part since he keeps getting into trouble, and his future looks like more of the same. Put him and society out of its misery and off him now, please.

At least he still has a "nice" smile. The meth hasn't gotten to him yet.

Onkel Buck: some_beer_drinker: ...and his name is Funk.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 360x480]
No. His name is Funk
[i288.photobucket.com image 399x505]

and also this
[i200.photobucket.com image 505x658]

/got nothing. Especially photoshop skills. Feel free to modify

The whole funk, nothing but the funk.

It's all a matter of timing, as an Alliance patrolman investigating a stolen credit card found out Wednesday night.

The Dwarven District has gotten a bit seedy as of late.

I LOVE TO POOP!!!!!

If convicted of these latest charges, which is Funk's 10th for 2012, Funk may face up to 11/2 years in prison and $7,500 in fines, plus imposition of any jail time suspended for violating his probation.

No intrinsic value to polite society at all, and if anything, a detriment. Tie his ass to the next rocket we fire off into space, or just shoot the worthless bastard already.

Hickory-smoked: Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a farking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of farking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fark you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing farking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, farked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got cigarettes and your mom's credit card?

Sounds fairly reasonable to me.

ima turkey: I wonder what him and Michelle Obamas baby would look like.

Keep wondering, farm denizen.

Forget prison. This dipshiat needs to be beaten severely.

FTA: Officers arrested John Michael Funk, 27, who is listed as homeless, at 10:30 p.m. Wednesday on charges of two counts of theft from an elderly person and a single count of receiving stolen property, all fifth-degree felonies.

What. The. Fark? How long before they make jaywalking a felony? It seems all these "tough on crime" laws by some idiot is just going to create a life long criminal, sort of like what seems to be happening here... He probably got stupid drunk one night, did some idiotic prank, and is slammed with a felony charge... Now no one wants to hire a (ex?) felon, so he can't get a jerb anywhere, so he does more stupid shiat, so at least he has a place where he gets 3 squares and a cot... Notice he has "good behavior" all over his record when he's in prison?

Then again, from the way things are going now, I'm surprised he wasn't charged with a "Terroristic Act" with that mugshot...

Just my 2 cents...

Arcturus72 Now no one wants to hire a (ex?) felon, so he can't get a jerb anywhere, so he does more stupid shiat, so at least he has a place where he gets 3 squares and a cot

I don't know.. he could've tried 'not committing crimes', but that's a difficult skill for many to master.

Phineas: Arcturus72 Now no one wants to hire a (ex?) felon, so he can't get a jerb anywhere, so he does more stupid shiat, so at least he has a place where he gets 3 squares and a cot

I don't know.. he could've tried 'not committing crimes', but that's a difficult skill for many to master.

For a homeless guy prison would mean "3 squares and a cot" like Arcturus72 says. For someone who really isn't trying to master any skill at all it's a step up.

Plus he gets free cable TV, a free gym membership and all the sex he wants. .....or doesn't want.

Leave Matthew Lilliard alone!

Cookbook's Anarchist: Leave Matthew Lilliard alone!

Liver alone! Liver. What? It's a joke!

Arcturus72: What. The. Fark? How long before they make jaywalking a felony? It seems all these "tough on crime" laws by some idiot is just going to create a life long criminal, sort of like what seems to be happening here...

The guy has been arrested 10 times this year, and appears to be a career criminal. His background includes 7 arson convictions. This isn't "the law ruining a mans life over jaywalking", this is a scumbag who needs to be either killed or locked away for good.

Phineas: Arcturus72 Now no one wants to hire a (ex?) felon, so he can't get a jerb anywhere, so he does more stupid shiat, so at least he has a place where he gets 3 squares and a cot

I don't know.. he could've tried 'not committing crimes', but that's a difficult skill for many to master.

My comment was more aimed at what is being classified as a felony now... To me, a felony should be very bad, on the good vs bad scale, like murder, rape-rape, child porn, and so on... But now we've got stuff that used to be a misdemeanor is now a felony, which ensures you're screwed in life...

Plus, have you even bothered to take a look at what some of the laws are now? Just pull up a page or 2 of your local statutes and start reading... You'll be amazed at what little crap is a felony now... Ever carry a pocket knife? Depending on the cop, that's a concealed weapon without a license, which is, guess what, a felony in many areas...

How is that helping people un-fark themselves? Oh wait, that's not the plan in the good ol' US of A, and our "for profit" prisons...

Oh, yes... and I forgot "Welcome to Fark"...

A FACE THAT ONLY A NOT EVEN HIS OWN MOTHER COULD LOVE

He'll be better off in prison. He might die there, and no one will miss him.

I'm rather fond of the background image used on the web site. Quite small-towny and peaceful.