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   North Korea says it will launch a long-range rocket between Dec. 10 and Dec. 22, still having trouble judging the length of the fuse

01 Dec 2012 12:12 PM   |   2145 clicks   |   ABC
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MmmmBacon    [TotalFark]  
Did ACME forget to send the instructions again?

01 Dec 2012 05:27 AM
doglover    [TotalFark]  
Assholes.

01 Dec 2012 05:52 AM
PainInTheASP    [TotalFark]  
In Best Korea if you think you hear Santa coming down the chimney, run.

01 Dec 2012 06:25 AM
some_beer_drinker    [TotalFark]  
I don't understand why china allows this sort of behavior from their retarded little cousin

01 Dec 2012 07:34 AM
MmmmBacon    [TotalFark]  

some_beer_drinker: I don't understand why china allows this sort of behavior from their retarded little cousin


Simple.

China is Best Korea's biggest trading partner, but I'm sure they'd like some help with handling the load of state welfare they have to drop on them to keep the regime propped up. So they sit back and let Best Korea get all militaristic and make empty threats, knowing that the US will eventually negotiate a deal to send some aid. This benefits China in not only keeping Japan, Worst Korea and the US occupied and focused on Best Korea's shenanigans, in the end it saves them money. China knows damn well we won't use military force to stop the stupidity out of Pyongyang.

01 Dec 2012 08:40 AM
NewportBarGuy    [TotalFark]  
That is quite an in-depth article.

01 Dec 2012 09:44 AM
Three Crooked Squirrels    [TotalFark]  

NewportBarGuy: That is quite an in-depth article.


Quite nuanced. I think that the best part, what really helped me to understand this issue, was when the author took the time to copy the headline, then paste it to the article. I also think the author made a wise stylistic decision to then end the article, rather than allowing the piece to get bogged down in so many fringe issues.

01 Dec 2012 10:09 AM
mbillips     
Mayans. Just sayin', the timing fits.

01 Dec 2012 12:16 PM
Britney Spear's Speculum     
thebusypost.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

01 Dec 2012 12:18 PM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  

MmmmBacon: Did ACME forget to send the instructions again?


Let's hope so. Meep meep.

01 Dec 2012 12:19 PM
alphabravo42     
The Mayans were right!

01 Dec 2012 12:20 PM
alphabravo42     

mbillips: Mayans. Just sayin', the timing fits.


Damnit, didnt see that.

01 Dec 2012 12:21 PM
HindiDiscoMonster     

Three Crooked Squirrels: NewportBarGuy: That is quite an in-depth article.

Quite nuanced. I think that the best part, what really helped me to understand this issue, was when the author took the time to copy the headline, then paste it to the article. I also think the author made a wise stylistic decision to then end the article, rather than allowing the piece to get bogged down in so many fringe issues.


I agree that the copy was quite nuanced, but i feel that more importanty, the classic representation of left-justified text really shows a nice homage to classic literary styles of old showing not only the absolute clarity of the subject at hand , but also the intensity of the subject while showing a very subtle nuance of emptiness.

01 Dec 2012 12:22 PM
rev. dave     
Latest Butterball Leader seen with sign " Will Launch Missiles for Food"

01 Dec 2012 12:22 PM
ramblinwreck     
Sorry, but I can't take your missiles seriously when they are called "Taep'o-dong"

01 Dec 2012 12:24 PM
Fark Reddit or bust     
Time Magazine's man of the year is at it again...

01 Dec 2012 12:24 PM
Thank You Black Jesus!     

MmmmBacon: some_beer_drinker: I don't understand why china allows this sort of behavior from their retarded little cousin

Simple.

China is Best Korea's biggest trading partner, but I'm sure they'd like some help with handling the load of state welfare they have to drop on them to keep the regime propped up. So they sit back and let Best Korea get all militaristic and make empty threats, knowing that the US will eventually negotiate a deal to send some aid. This benefits China in not only keeping Japan, Worst Korea and the US occupied and focused on Best Korea's shenanigans, in the end it saves them money. China knows damn well we won't use military force to stop the stupidity out of Pyongyang.


The us is chinas biggest trade partner. China wants nk stable so they dont get litetally millions of uneducated malnourished refugees.

01 Dec 2012 12:25 PM
talkertopc     
I'm not going to read all that.

01 Dec 2012 12:25 PM
99.998er     
I got bored half way through the article.

01 Dec 2012 12:25 PM
Rockstone     
tl;dr

01 Dec 2012 12:28 PM
allegedman     
images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


"cut me up with a coat hanger, heh"

01 Dec 2012 12:28 PM
Nayest     
North Korea

SHUT UP!

01 Dec 2012 12:28 PM
whither_apophis     

some_beer_drinker: I don't understand why china allows this sort of behavior from their retarded little cousin


One day the vacuum tube guidance system will send a rocket into China, then we will see real Chinese fireworks.

01 Dec 2012 12:29 PM
Deep Contact     
Hope they are not planning on nuking the moon like the US did.

01 Dec 2012 12:30 PM
TommyDeuce     
So do we have an over/under for number of seconds that pass between launch and unplanned explosion?

/I'm thinking about 200 . . .

01 Dec 2012 12:35 PM
Arkanaut    [TotalFark]  

some_beer_drinker: I don't understand why china allows this sort of behavior from their retarded little cousin


I think NK is less their retarded cousin than their crazy on-again, off-again girlfriend who they keep going back to because they're afraid she's going to do something REALLY crazy if they cut her off completely.

Realistically though I think it's the same reason they intervened in 1951 -- because they don't want a US-friendly country on their border. Ironically though if the two Koreas reunited that would remove most of the reason the US has for keeping an army division in Korea.

01 Dec 2012 12:36 PM
JuggleGeek     
A: Quit sending food and money to North Korea.
B: Immediately shoot down any missile they launch.
C: Tell them to fark off.

We've been kissing their ass for years, and it's not helping. Time to quit.

01 Dec 2012 12:37 PM
Zeno-25     
i.imgur.comView Full Size

01 Dec 2012 12:39 PM
BronyMedic     
Sometime between December 11, and December 23, the US will stop sending food to North Korea, too.

01 Dec 2012 12:45 PM
Monty845     
If North Korea has any troll in it, they will do it on Dec 21...

01 Dec 2012 12:49 PM
BigNumber12     

JuggleGeek: A: Quit sending food and money to North Korea.
B: Immediately shoot down any missile they launch.
C: Tell them to fark off.

We've been kissing their ass for years, and it's not helping. Time to quit.



I'm sorry - are you questioning Smart Diplomacy(TM) ?

01 Dec 2012 12:56 PM
That Guy...From That Show!     
Holy crap, I'd take it seriously. After all, the news claims that a country can talk.

Hell hath no fury like an arbitrary boundary describing a territory on a landmass gets scorned!

01 Dec 2012 01:01 PM
Oznog     
cdn101.iofferphoto.comView Full Size

01 Dec 2012 01:02 PM
Prof. Frink     
Vendor is back-ordered on Photoshop after the CyberMonday rush?

/yeah, I said CyberMonday
//in Best Korea, they think it's a real thing

01 Dec 2012 01:08 PM
TwowheelinTim     
Yay SUBBY! Had a hard time avoiding spraying my computer screen with my breakfast.

01 Dec 2012 01:11 PM
digistil     
What happens when it strikes China?

01 Dec 2012 01:16 PM
Forbidden Doughnut    [TotalFark]  

JuggleGeek: A: Quit sending food and money to North Korea.
B: Immediately shoot down any missile they launch.
C: Tell them to fark off.

We've been kissing their ass for years, and it's not helping. Time to quit.


I'm a little bit surprised that the NK regime hasn't gone down the same path as the Romanian one (eg. ending in a trial + firing squad). Same cult of personality, but I guess the North Koreans are just better at brainwashing people...

01 Dec 2012 01:26 PM
SweetHomeNowhere     
This coincides with the presidential election in South Korea in mid December. Who will be the next South Korean president who would deal with North Korea. Would it be the daughter of a dictator* or a liberal** politician?

* Park Chung-hee was once a member of the South Korean Communist Party before the Korean War. It seems so ironic that one of the most pro-American leaders in Asia during the Cold War happened to be a dedicated closet Communist.
** Liberalism in South Korea is similar to moderate Conservatism in the United States. The South Korean public generally thinks all forms of Liberalism are Communism.

Either ways, North Korea will deal with a South Korean president who has some Communist connections.

01 Dec 2012 01:31 PM
Kuroshin     
garavato.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Best Korea's lead rocket engineer.

01 Dec 2012 01:42 PM
Meltro     

MmmmBacon: Did ACME forget to send the instructions again?


over in one

01 Dec 2012 01:51 PM
Satanic_Hamster     
i58.photobucket.comView Full Size

01 Dec 2012 01:58 PM
Mega Steve     
I think the time is right to unleash Hell on North Korea. Send in....Honey Boo Boo. She's not just a pretty face. She's a one girl army and a master of disguise

1-ps.googleusercontent.comView Full Size

01 Dec 2012 02:08 PM
zamboni    [TotalFark]  

ramblinwreck: Sorry, but I can't take your missiles seriously when they are called "Taep'o-dong"


Well, I for one, am happy that it isn't a really dangerous dong, only a type of dong.

Has anyone told the little general that we have long range missiles too? Missiles that can hit any point in his country multiple times. We could launch them within the hour. From Nebraska.

Not saying that I want that to happen. Just that while he's launching shiat that's just as likely to rain down debris on the launch pad as it is to even make it out of their airspace, we already have stuff figured out and that can do what he can only dream of.

Give it up, fat boy. Have another sandwich, a bottle of brandy and watch your people starve. It seems to be what you do best.

01 Dec 2012 02:15 PM
BigBooper     

TommyDeuce: So do we have an over/under for number of seconds that pass between launch and unplanned explosion?

/I'm thinking about 200 . . .


Unplanned explosion? Who say's the explosion is unplanned? As soon as that thing gets over deep water the U.S. will shoot it down just like the last one. Sure even if NK could recover pieces it would be hard to tell the laser burn marks because of the explosion and catastrophic break up, but hey, why give them a chance.

01 Dec 2012 02:17 PM
phamwaa     

BigBooper: TommyDeuce: So do we have an over/under for number of seconds that pass between launch and unplanned explosion?

/I'm thinking about 200 . . .

Unplanned explosion? Who say's the explosion is unplanned? As soon as that thing gets over deep water the U.S. will shoot it down just like the last one. Sure even if NK could recover pieces it would be hard to tell the laser burn marks because of the explosion and catastrophic break up, but hey, why give them a chance.


Why wait? Whack it as soon as it clears the gantry.

01 Dec 2012 02:23 PM
BigBooper     

phamwaa: BigBooper: TommyDeuce: So do we have an over/under for number of seconds that pass between launch and unplanned explosion?

/I'm thinking about 200 . . .

Unplanned explosion? Who say's the explosion is unplanned? As soon as that thing gets over deep water the U.S. will shoot it down just like the last one. Sure even if NK could recover pieces it would be hard to tell the laser burn marks because of the explosion and catastrophic break up, but hey, why give them a chance.

Why wait? Whack it as soon as it clears the gantry.


Why let them (and China) inspect the remains? Let them wonder if we have the power to shoot down their rockets at will, or that their scientists and engineers are incompetent. At the same time the world laughs at them, and they lose face.

01 Dec 2012 02:36 PM
penthesilea    [TotalFark]  
I blame the unicorns.

01 Dec 2012 02:56 PM
SirEattonHogg     
Waiter, I'll have some bulgogi with a side dish of kimchee and taepodong.

01 Dec 2012 03:10 PM
vrax     
As soon as Psy gives the launch order from his HQ in Pyongyang, it's all over!

♫Heeeeyyyyyy...launch the missles!♫

01 Dec 2012 04:57 PM
Fark Me To Tears    [TotalFark]  

MmmmBacon: some_beer_drinker: I don't understand why china allows this sort of behavior from their retarded little cousin

Simple.

China is Best Korea's biggest trading partner, but I'm sure they'd like some help with handling the load of state welfare they have to drop on them to keep the regime propped up. So they sit back and let Best Korea get all militaristic and make empty threats, knowing that the US will eventually negotiate a deal to send some aid. This benefits China in not only keeping Japan, Worst Korea and the US occupied and focused on Best Korea's shenanigans, in the end it saves them money. China knows damn well we won't use military force to stop the stupidity out of Pyongyang.



That's a gross oversimplification, but you're on the right track. You should read The Impossible State by Victor Cha. He talks a great deal about China's relationship with North Korea, but he also ties it into the bigger picture, which is far more complex. Chapter 5, "The Worst Place On Earth" describes the lives of North Koreans and really shows how China's relationship with Best Korea enables and contributes to the abuses suffered by the North Korean population. Later in the book, the author goes into serious depth about why China tolerates this nonsense. Interesting stuff.

01 Dec 2012 06:26 PM
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