Stand with your back towards the wind if you have to piddle in your yard.

Don't live in a shanty town, Pangit.

you're farked

Spin in the opposite direction.

/seriously, ask the locals, stay safe.

wear clean underware.

underwear

kind of late to be asking

You will get wet, don't panic.

Don't trust anyone!

Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

Board the windows.
Move everything you can to the highest spot in the house.
Make sure you've got plenty of drinking water for the next 2wks/month.
Move to higher ground if you're in a surge area.

Good luck.

Make sure Chris Christie is running your State...

Make sure it's hooked up to the internet so you can read Fark, the scan takes forever.

All power will be out. Go get as much cash as possible as ATMs/credit cards will be useless for a while.

I'm an excellent driver: Make sure Chris Christie is running your State...

and Blanco isn't

Are you going "through" the typhoon, as in FLYING through it, or are you on the ground and will be hit by it?

Step 1 - Panic

Stock up on booz and girls as the bars will likely be closed....

FYI....



Subby is probably in the PI

TAKE SHELTER STOCK UP ON BOOZE AND HOOKERS!!!!

Don't expect ANY help from FEMA or any other agency for at least 72 hours.

You need 3 days of supplies. The most important of which is drinking water. 1.5Gal of potable water per person, per 24 hours. Diarrhea can induce dehydration, hence there's no such thing as extra water.

You may be without electricity and without means to realistically create a working fire pit to cook on. With that in mind, you need to have 3 days of food that does not need to be cooked. Canned foods usually do not need to be cooked, but may need to be diluted with your drinking water -- so keep that in mind when determining how much water to get.

Wool is the only common material that stays warm EVEN WHEN WET. I would recommend a wool blanket and/or clothing/socks. Do not think that because you're in a tropical climate that it will not get cold. When you're wet, you're always cold.

You may have to deal with panicking locals. In that event, carry a firearm if possible. Otherwise, implement a weapon of some sort. This is of least importance, despite what some people may think.

Carry a knife on you at all times. It's not only for defense, but in an emergency, the necessity to cut things tends to come up quite a bit.

nordicgod: Stock up on booz and girls as the bars will likely be closed....

/shakes impotent tiny fist....
//I was getting a graphic..

Stay away from this guy.

There's no shame in running away, screaming like a little girl....unless your friends are around to watch you, in which case, get different friends when it's all over.

Cash. Lots of ice and lots of beer.

this will give you a basic overview. You'll want to contact Eurofighter for more specs on what everything needs to be during the rebuild.

Here's another basic image of what you're in for:



Let me know how it turns out! I hear they're a blast to fly!

\I'd follow hurricane rules: hide from wind, run from water
\\be safe out there

move.

Get an LED flashlight or lantern; one set of batteries should be plenty for this storm. (You can get more later.)

Charge your mobile phone and any other devices.

Fill containers with drinking water.

Do laundry NOW.

Is your national emergency agency director a horse judge too?

Duck.

Food, water, guns, ammo, toilet paper, external cell phone battery, non-electronic fapping materials.

Then Kiss it Goodbye.

"You hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. Because it is."

/hot like Ruby

Lot's of water. Cash. Get a filter and replacement cartridges too if you can. Pack some of your essentials in dry bags that you may not have to open for a while. Even if they get lost your stuff will float, stay dry and your name could be on it.
Booze.

MadMattressMack: this will give you a basic overview. You'll want to contact Eurofighter for more specs on what everything needs to be during the rebuild.

Here's another basic image of what you're in for:

[www.mediastorehouse.com image 450x236]

Let me know how it turns out! I hear they're a blast to fly!

\I'd follow hurricane rules: hide from wind, run from water
\\be safe out there

If he's just going through the engine, I'd recommend he take of his clothes, hardhats, etc, in order to limit damage to the turbines.

RatOmeter: MadMattressMack: this will give you a basic overview. You'll want to contact Eurofighter for more specs on what everything needs to be during the rebuild.

Here's another basic image of what you're in for:

[www.mediastorehouse.com image 450x236]

Let me know how it turns out! I hear they're a blast to fly!

\I'd follow hurricane rules: hide from wind, run from water
\\be safe out there

If he's just going through the engine, I'd recommend he take of his clothes, hardhats, etc, in order to limit damage to the turbines.

Pink slime

Adding to my initial list:

You may need means to signaling and communication. Do not expect your cell phone to work during a civil emergency. If you do not have an amateur radio license or any training in that field, your means of radio communication are nil. But, you can still use chemical light sticks (glo-sticks) to signal for help.

Road flares, chemical light sticks (glow sticks/glo-sticks) and hand-mirrors (for daytime) signaling.

Keep a very loud whistle on you at all times. If the structure you are in collapses, yelling may not be possible, but if you're breathing, you can blow the whistle. Plus, if you're injured, the last thing you need to do is yell.

Because it is a typhoon, you will need means of flotation. You may be able to swim well, but you can't do it forever and you may need to help others. A simple life vest may suffice, but I would recommend having several of them on-hand in case they're needed by others. Trust me, when YOU are doing well, others around you will either swarm to you, or you will want to help them.

tuxq: Trust me, when YOU are doing well, others around you will either swarm to you

Too late to learn how to surf?

Stock up on shoes.

Zombie Imelda is coming. 

Ahhh, yes, I endured many typhoons in my youth when I lived in the Philippines. Typhoon Yoling went right through Manila, didn't get power back for three weeks.

Store up PLENTY of clean water. Mosquito netting so you can spend hot nights outside. Candles, some food, really don't need a lot....batteries for the radio, gas in the car/motorcycle if ya got one....weapons if you can, to defend against robbers/looters...eat all your refridgerated stuff, 'cause it's gone, man, you ain't gonna see power for a while...

Third world countries have a tough time coping with disasters.

Savage Bacon: [supernaturaladdicted.weebly.com image 250x291]

"You hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. Because it is."

/hot like Ruby

LOTS AND LOTS OF THIS!

and have plenty of dry undies and socks... pack'em in zip lock bags... no, not that kind.. the good stuff.

you don't want stuff getting fungus-y and fall off...

Get out of town, today.

Hookers only take cash during typhoons. Get yourself to the local ATM now!

Typhoon Party!!

Well, first check that the turbo bearings aren't cooked... and realize that GM electronics of the era suck and probably need attention. Watch out for the front half-shafts, they are notoriously weak. Otherwise, enjoy your Q-ship, they are murder in a straight line!

Hunker down.

Move.

If not possible, find religion. Or a raft.

Watch out for your corn-hole, bud

1. Chain yourself to some sturdy railings.

2. You will know what it feels like to 'fly'. The chains are there to make sure you don't get blown away too far.

3. Have fun.