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   Goodness gracious

04 Dec 2012 08:19 AM   |   13409 clicks   |   International Business Times
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Cythraul     
Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic, kiss wild snakes, strip naked and pretend to have sex.

That sounds kinda gay.

04 Dec 2012 08:10 AM
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Prank Call of Cthulhu     
That's a weird salad-tossing technique.

04 Dec 2012 08:21 AM
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doczoidberg     
They should be grateful.
Some people do that for fun!

04 Dec 2012 08:22 AM
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abhorrent1     
if they performed for the guards, they would be rewarded with food, cigarettes, beer and preferential work assignments, the inmates said.

Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

04 Dec 2012 08:23 AM
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Agarista    [TotalFark]  
Nice one, subby

04 Dec 2012 08:25 AM
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Summoner101     
What a thrill.

04 Dec 2012 08:27 AM
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Abe Vigoda's Ghost    [TotalFark]  
Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic

I'm having a hard time believing any of this story once it reached this point.
Wild rabbits are difficult to catch, and I'm sure a passing motorist would have reported 'bunnies' being thrown into oncoming traffic.

As for the hot sauce rubbing on the balls; well who's not been there after a few drinks? I'm I right?

04 Dec 2012 08:28 AM
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BlackMtnMan     
MAMA MIA...that's a spicy meat aball.

04 Dec 2012 08:28 AM
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NutWrench    [TotalFark]  
ranchmarketsnapavalley.com 
"So good, you can slather it on your balls!"

04 Dec 2012 08:32 AM
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SoupJohnB     
Yeah, +1 subster. I guessed it was about some sort of fireballs.

/ow, my balls

04 Dec 2012 08:32 AM
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Onkel Buck     
Everyone knows central Carolina BBQ has a vinegar based sauce.

04 Dec 2012 08:32 AM
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saboisgod     
FTFA: "DAC considers the allegations to be serious and the alleged actions in violation of policy, which warrants further review by management."

It's good to know David Allen Coe considers these allegations to be serious.

04 Dec 2012 08:32 AM
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THX 1138     
pattayatoday.net

Unavailable for comment.

04 Dec 2012 08:33 AM
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Cythraul     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic

I'm having a hard time believing any of this story once it reached this point.
Wild rabbits are difficult to catch, and I'm sure a passing motorist would have reported 'bunnies' being thrown into oncoming traffic.

As for the hot sauce rubbing on the balls; well who's not been there after a few drinks? I'm I right?


It does sound a little made up. It's like the prisoners were conspiring against the officers one night and it went down like this: Prisoner John, "Okay, so we got public humiliation with the faked sex acts thing, physical abuse with the hot sauce on balls - " Prisoner Bob, "My idea!" John, "Yeah, thanks Bob. Great idea. Okay, what else can we throw in there that will get us attention?" Prisoner Joe, "Well, everyone likes cute little bunnies."

04 Dec 2012 08:36 AM
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Devolving_Spud     
That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

media.thestate.com

"You heard me right, Otis..."

04 Dec 2012 08:37 AM
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Cythraul     

Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

[media.thestate.com image 403x500]

"You heard me right, Otis..."


Hah! At least one person is going to go off googling for 'andy griffith pickle episode.'

04 Dec 2012 08:40 AM
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Onkel Buck     

Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

[media.thestate.com image 403x500]

"You heard me right, Otis..."


My uncle treated aunt Bea when she was dying in the hospital. He said she would mumble incoherently about that episode and that she didn't want to pickle the okra too

04 Dec 2012 08:41 AM
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Mr. Shabooboo     
yosemite-sam.net
"My biscuits are burning! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!"

04 Dec 2012 08:41 AM
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dstanley    [TotalFark]  
Thanks to THX 1138 I now get the headline.

/some of us really do need a picture

04 Dec 2012 08:43 AM
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Koggie    [TotalFark]  
+1 from me on the headline. I always like the subtle ones.

04 Dec 2012 08:46 AM
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flucto    [TotalFark]  
Terrible story but a classic headline.

04 Dec 2012 08:47 AM
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Claude Ballse     
I guess Louie got a job as a prison guard...

cdn2.screenjunkies.com

04 Dec 2012 08:49 AM
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BullBearMS     
I once accidentally applied hot sauce to my genitals.

Lesson learned: When attending a crawfish boil, you wash your hands before you pee.

04 Dec 2012 08:50 AM
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hinten     
Nothing but a little fraternity prank.

vivat circulus fratrum

04 Dec 2012 08:50 AM
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Abe Vigoda's Ghost    [TotalFark]  

BullBearMS: I once accidentally applied hot sauce to my genitals.

Lesson learned: When attending a crawfish boil, you wash your hands before you pee.


You sticking with that version of your story?

04 Dec 2012 08:58 AM
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Flakeloaf     
All those things Fark says about cops? Cops say a lot of those things about prison guards.

04 Dec 2012 09:01 AM
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Abe Vigoda's Ghost    [TotalFark]  

Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.


Screen caps


i50.tinypic.com

04 Dec 2012 09:05 AM
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JackieRabbit     
I think I'm going to incorporate this into foreplay with the wife. We'll call it Jerry Leeing.

04 Dec 2012 09:08 AM
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dryknife     
This here is Boss Keene's ditch... it's got your dirt in it, what's your dirt doin' in Boss Keene's ditch?

04 Dec 2012 09:13 AM
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GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve     
I had my doubts, but find these allegations too crazy to make up.

"Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic, kiss wild snakes, strip naked and pretend to have sex."

2.bp.blogspot.com

A quick GIS confirmed for me that this is indeed a thing

04 Dec 2012 09:17 AM
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bagumpity     

BullBearMS: I once accidentally applied hot sauce to my genitals.

Lesson learned: When attending a crawfish boil, you wash your hands before you pee.


Yeah. Also applies prior to getting freaky with your gf after making nachos with lots and lots of jalepenos on them. (Fun fact: your suggestion to "put some ice cream on it to cool it off" will NOT be graciously received in the helpful spirit that it was offered.)

04 Dec 2012 09:37 AM
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darth_badger     
That could make your balls Schweddy.

04 Dec 2012 09:51 AM
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ChromoSomes     
FTA: They said the guards made them gulp 'Exotic Hot Sauce' and slather it on their genitals, which resulted in painful blisters. Sampson is a medium/minimum Hot security prison...

Jeebus... after reading subby's headline, I thought that JLL was in prison (again) for rolling his own

04 Dec 2012 09:52 AM
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Dreyelle     
pmerrill.com

They really do put that shiat on everything!

04 Dec 2012 09:53 AM
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SirTanon     
oyster.ignimgs.com

04 Dec 2012 10:04 AM
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kaseyfarksdaladies     
Subby, I want to love you like a lover should.

+100,000 on the Scoville scale

04 Dec 2012 10:10 AM
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DaddyRat     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

Screen caps


[i50.tinypic.com image 400x1236]


Golll-ollll-eeee!

04 Dec 2012 10:13 AM
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H31N0US     
You'd think they'd want a little hot sauce on their cockmeat sandwiches.

04 Dec 2012 10:21 AM
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jimpoz     
upload.wikimedia.org

/goodness gracious

04 Dec 2012 10:32 AM
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Loucifer     
That is so hot.

i.ytimg.com

04 Dec 2012 11:02 AM
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Clemkadidlefark     

Mr. Shabooboo: [yosemite-sam.net image 360x177]
"My biscuits are burning! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!"


Actually really and truly LMAO over here

Plus ...

Cannot imagine forcing the Aryan Brotherhood. Had to be in Pish-Tosh wing of the prison

04 Dec 2012 11:25 AM
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MsMelinaKae     
Is it too late for a North Carolina tag?

04 Dec 2012 11:51 AM
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KrustyKitten    [TotalFark]  
Poor bunnies.

04 Dec 2012 01:29 PM
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Cythraul     

MsMelinaKae: Is it too late for a North Carolina tag?


Oh please, oh please, oh please! That would be so awesome.

04 Dec 2012 01:37 PM
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  
Admirable restraint there, subby. Perfectly done!

04 Dec 2012 03:10 PM
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aharown     
subby gets my +1

04 Dec 2012 05:22 PM
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Feral_and_Preposterous     
So... You guys DON'T want cigarettes, beer, food and preferential work assignments?

Also: Nice one, subs...

04 Dec 2012 05:31 PM
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BuckTurgidson     
Not just one, no, but TWO simultaneous autoplay videos on the same page?

Go F*CK yourselves, "International Business Times". Speaking of which, WTF does this have to do with "international business"?

And F*CK you, subby, and the horse you rode in on, and you TOO modmins and Drew, and the trolls, and OMG I don't want to forget anyone oh yes 20th Century Fox and of course my darling wife and husband and my beautiful daughter *HI there Murgatroyd* and of course *PHEW* f*ck you, Martin Scorsese my genius mentor, I;ve learned so much and f*ck you too Spielberg - no really, burn in Hell - and oh, all the little people ... the catering assistant who never brought me my god. damn. Naya. water. yeah burn in hell biatch - and that dick in the catering tent who and I am completely serious had NO IDEA whether or not unagi is vegan - OMG so many to remember, how about everybody here just GFY!! Thank you! *feigned tears of joy*

04 Dec 2012 10:51 PM
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beantowndog     

jimpoz: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x255]

/goodness gracious


Posada knew.

05 Dec 2012 09:32 PM
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Triumph    [TotalFark]  
You know who deserves hot sauce on his balls? The guy designing the ads on that website.

05 Dec 2012 10:23 PM
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